


Bad Love

by EX0_DUS



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Childhood Friends, Codependency, Drama, Dysfunctional Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fashion Designer Baekhyun, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay Panic, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Loey - Freeform, M/M, Mafia Boss Park Chanyeol, Manipulation, Multi, Obsessive Behavior, Painful Love, Porn With Plot, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Park Chanyeol, Sexual Content, Sexual Discovery, Sexual Tension, Sexuality Crisis, So much angst, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, boylove, exo mafia, friendships, mafia, slow burn Park Chanyeol/Byun Baekhyun, slowburn, unhealthy relationship, virgin Baekhyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 82,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EX0_DUS/pseuds/EX0_DUS
Summary: Byun Baekhyun has loved Park Chanyeol for as long as he can remember. Best friends since middle school, Baekhyun has always known that Chanyeol is it for him. Even as they got older and Chanyeol took over his fathers Mafia, Baekhyun has still always loved him.But Chanyeol is as straight as they come and that fact has never wavered.Though Baekhyun knows realistically Chanyeol will never be his in the way he wants, the Mafia Lords possessive and selfish nature refuses to let Baekhyun go. He doesn’t love him in a sexual way, but Byun Baekhyun belongs to him and he will do everything in his power to keep him.Even if it means destroying them both.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Park Chaeyoung | Rosé/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 147
Kudos: 416





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on my AFF account, EXO-DUS. Unless stated here I do not approve of any other copies / translations etc. Please do not plagiarise; I have worked extremely had on this. If you see BAD LOVE posted anywhere other than on my AFF/AO3 account please let me know <3
> 
> Feel free to follow my Twitter @__EX0DUS

[ **1.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Sometimes, and lately more often than not, Byun Baekhyun wished he could hate Park Chanyeol.

“Wh-who’s there?” The man bound and blindfolded on the chair asked, voice shaking.

“Your worst nightmare!” Kim Jongin told him with a manic chuckle.

“Enough with the theatrics, Kai.” The man himself, Chanyeol, sighed sounding utterly bored. “I have an important meal to attend.”

With a small frown of displeasure, Jongin — AKA _Kai_ to anyone who didn’t want their tongues cut out — removed the man’s blindfold roughly and left it hanging from his neck. The man blinked as his eyes focused then widened in genuine fear as recognition dawned.

“P-P-”

“Park Chanyeol. Yes, that’s me, in the flesh and blood.” Chanyeol interrupted impatiently. “You don’t look too happy to see me, Woo-Hyun. Is there a reason for that? Guilty conscience, perhaps?”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Of course you did.” Jongin spat, slapping Woo-Hyun’s face with the palm of his hand with enough force to leave a red impression on his pale cheek.

“Just tell me what I need to know, and we will make this quick.” Chanyeol offered smoothly.

But in the end, Woo-Hyun must have been either a masochist or truly ignorant, because he never told Chanyeol anything useful and he died in what seemed to be in incredible pain and misery. Byun Baekhyun watched it all in silence.

“I’m late.” Chanyeol frowned down at his watch. Rising from his chair, he gestured to Woo-Hyun’s body. “Clean up your mess, Jongin, but save his pinky finger and deliver it to his business.”

Only Chanyeol got to call him by his real name and through Chanyeol’s protection — Baekhyun did too, though in truth he tried to have as little to do with Chanyeol’s resident torturer. In turn, Kai was nothing but… Indifferent to him. The guy was clearly a psychopath and he unsettled Baekhyun deeply. Not that _any_ of Chanyeol’s men were exactly sane. How could they be when they worked for Seoul’s biggest Mafia Lord? Baekhyun also knew what that must say about _him_ , considering he was said Mafia Lord’s best friend.

Without another glance to the now dead man, Baekhyun, who had been at Chanyeol’s side during the whole torture, followed him out of the basement silently, passing through the bakery the basement was below. The scent of fresh bread and sweet icing was such a stark contrast to the smell of blood and fear of the room he’d been in before that Baekhyun grimaced, relieved when they finally hit the fresh air outside. It was always strange to him, that the bakery was so inconspicious, situated down a side-street in a normal, residential area. No-one would ever suspect that below it was the place many men who pissed off Chanyeol took their last breaths. Sliding into the back of the blacked out Mercedes waiting outside, he turned to face his oldest friend with a frown.

“God, I feel sick.” He complained. “Why did I need to be there again?”

“Because I wanted you with me.” Chanyeol answered simply, staring at his phone intently.

“You know I don’t particularly _like_ seeing those kinds of things, Yeol.”

Chanyeol side-eyed him and seeing Baekhyun’s unimpressed expression his lips twitched up and he returned his phone to his pocket.

“Aw poor baby.” He cooed, giving his thigh a squeeze. “But you handle them _so_ well...”

“Because you’ve dragged me to enough. It doesn’t mean I _like_ it.”

“You’ve never complained before – what’s really on your mind, hmmm?”

Their friendship wasn’t just a one-way avenue. While Baekhyun could safely claim he knew Park Chanyeol the best out of everyone in the entire world, Park Chanyeol could make a similar claim over Byun Baekhyun. To say they were _just_ friends was an understatement; they were so much more that it hurt Baekhyun sometimes, because no matter how close they were, it would never truly be close _enough_. Not in the way he wanted.

“I’m hungry I guess.” He muttered, hating the way he sounded like a petulant child even to his own ears.

“Then I’ll make sure to feed you.” Chanyeol smiled, hand lifting to pet his head gently.

Baekhyun hated the way he craved those simple touches, because Chanyeol didn’t offer them to just anyone. He felt incredibly lucky every time, like a dog being praised by his master. Woof woof. Here I am. Notice me. Praise me. Pet me. Stroke me. Let me _lick_ you…

“I thought you already _had_ dinner plans.” Baekhyun noted, pushing away those thoughts.

“I do. But I’ll make sure Minseok takes you somewhere nice to eat. _Won’t_ you, Minseok?”

The cars driver glanced at them in the rear-view mirror. “Yes Boss.”

Chanyeol’s hand slipped from his hair to the back of his neck, cupping it as his thumb stroked the back of his ear almost idly.

“See? You can eat whatever you want. Just say the word and I’ll get you it.”

 _You_ , Baekhyun thought perversely. _I want to eat_ you…

“Steak.” He said instead.

Chanyeol hummed in approval. “Steak it is.”

“No. I don’t want _restaurant_ steak.” Baekhyun argued stubbornly. “I want to go to my parents and eat the steak my dad cooks.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I said no.”

Baekhyun braced himself. “Just like that. _No_?”

“It’s not safe at your parents house.”

“Of course it is, they live in the country—”

“Which _isn’t_ my territory.” Chanyeol reminded him.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ll be gone a few days, tops. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I can’t let you go.”

“Why…”

The hand behind his neck tightened a fraction. “Because you’re _mine_.”

Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat. He knew it was foolish because there was no deeper meaning behind the words. Chanyeol was very possessive of his things. The car was his. The Mafia was his. Jongin, Minseok and the rest of his men were his. That’s what Chanyeol did — he _owned_. And somewhere along he way, Baekhyun had become another trinket to be collected.

Although he rarely talked about his childhood, Baekhyun knew enough to know that Chanyeol had been given very little, so had been forced to fight for what he had – even the most basic of Human needs, like food and water. It had been to toughen him up as the son of an aspiring criminal, to turn him into the ruthless and selfish man he was now at twenty-six, the constant struggle to own making him all the more possessive of the things that _did_ belong to him.

He wasn’t content taking over his fathers business — he wanted to own it and he did. He turned the tiny little underground business of his Father’s into Seoul’s biggest and most vicious Mafia, conquering the territory with a drive that boarded on obsessive, eliminating all threats no matter how small because Park Chanyeol did _not_ share what was his and he did not let go of them easily, either. Which was why Baekhyun remained by his side for all these years, despite having no real interest in the Mafia.

They’d met in middle school. Baekhyun had been eating his lunch, happily enjoying the egg roll his mother had made when he’d seen Chanyeol fighting with two other students. Curiosity, more than anything, had made him go and watch the boy in the year below him scrap, because he’d never seen a student fight with such ferocity and determination. The tall, lanky boy with his gangly limbs and bowl haircut fascinated him. Baekhyun had assumed the fight would have been over something serious, something _really_ bad the way he fought, but they’d been fighting over a notepad. A tiny, little notepad.

“But it’s _mine_.” Chanyeol had told him afterwards when he had won, face dripping blood.

For reasons unknown, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had been together ever since. Over the years, Baekhyun had found himself more and more fascinated by Chanyeol; his strength, his determination, his fundamental desire to possess, claim and own. And underneath that cold, brutal exterior Baekhyun saw something no-one else saw; someone who wanted warmth and comfort. It made Baekhyun want to see him smile, laugh, cry… He was obsessed with Chanyeol’s hidden emotions, the ones only ever revealed to him.

He wanted them _all_.

“Where are you eating tonight?” Baekhyun asked, changing the subject.

“That Italian place.” Chanyeol frowned. “I suppose it might serve steak. Perhaps I’ll join you in spirit for a meal.”

In spirit, but not in person. Because although Baekhyun would’ve done _anything_ to wine and dine with Chanyeol, it would never be like that. Chanyeol may claim Baekhyun belongs to him, but Chanyeol… He didn’t belong to Baekhyun. Right now Chanyeol was dating a woman, had been for the last eight months and it was she who he was going to have dinner with. Baekhyun had met her, actually found her to be quite nice, and rich, and _beautiful_ — a biological fact pointed out in hushed voices by all of Chanyeol’s men.

Because Roseanne Park _was_ stunning. Even Baekhyun could admit she was lovely to look at and stood beside Chanyeol… They looked amazing. Photo-worthy. The press couldn’t get enough of them and they were the current Seoul power couple. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol cared for her, she was the only woman he’d ever been with this long before and he was fixated on her in a way that made Baekhyun uncomfortable. But it was difficult not to like Rose because she was just so damned _nice_. She was always friendly with him and didn’t seem phased by his and Chanyeol’s dynamic. Baekhyun wished he _could_ hate her. Wished she was mean or stuck up, wished she didn’t look so _good_ next to Chanyeol, wished she couldn’t give him everything he couldn’t. It would have made it so much easier if he could, because knowing she was so _right_ for his best friend hurt more than anything else.

When the car pulled up outside of the Italian restaurant, Chanyeol took a moment to fix his tie and turned to glance at him.

“How do I look?” He asked as he absently began to smooth back his gelled hair.

Baekhyun swallowed as his eyes ran over Chanyeol. As always he looked amazing. Large doe-like eyes, hair that was soft – but which was now slicked back with gel, body that was no longer lanky but which had filled out, plump lips and adorable ears he’d never _quite_ grown into…

“Amazing.” He said truthfully.

Chanyeol grinned and leaned over to give him a quick kiss to his forehead, a gesture he’d done thousands of times that it was now second nature.

“Wish me luck!” He grinned as he opened the car door.

When it closed behind him, Baekhyun couldn’t help but watch his back as he walked confidently towards the restaurant doors, nodding at the few photographers lingering around. Baekhyun ran his eyes over Chanyeol’s form and let out a short, sharp breath. It was never easy and he wished a lot of the times he could tell Chanyeol how he really felt. But that wouldn’t go down well, he knew, because Chanyeol was without a doubt the _straightest_ guy Baekhyun knew.

Minseok cleared his throat and Baekhyun startled, forgetting he was there for a moment. Chanyeol’s driver had, of course, heard and probably seen everything, but he was probably used to it. Only a very few of Chanyeol’s men had been privy to their strange closeness but none would ever dare comment. At least not in front of Chanyeol. But when Baekhyun was alone with them, like he was now, they would look at him funny. Minseok was no different, the driver clearly trying to make sense of his and Chanyeol’s strange relationship but unable to find an answer.

That made two of them.

“Is there a restaurant you have in mind?” Minseok asked.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Shall I take you home?”

 _Home_. He didn’t officially live with Chanyeol, he just stayed there almost six nights out of the seven of the week, but he knew that was the home Minseok was referring to. The home that would be his _permanently_ if Chanyeol could have his way. But tonight was date night with Rose and the last thing Baekhyun wanted to do was listen to them screwing. Not again.

“I want to go to my place.” He said.

Back at his apartment, located in a modest complex he rented despite Chanyeol’s continued offers to _buy_ him his own place, Baekhyun grabbed himself a beer and retreated into what should be the office, but what was currently set up as his gaming room. Keeping the light off, he put on his headset, loading up the game and grinned when he noticed his friend, Kim Heechul, was online.

“Long time no speak!” Heechul’s familiar voice came over the headset.

“Tell me about it. How you been?”

“Good, busy. I finally convinced Momo that we should live together.”

“Dude that’s great!”

Heechul sighed happily. “Yeah. She hates my place though, so we’ve been apartment hunting.”

“Picked an area?”

“Ah, that’s another battle. She wants us to move to _Japan_ to be closer to her family.”

“Seriously? How you feel about that?”

“I dunno. I get _why_ she wants to but… Seoul’s home to me, you know? I can’t imagine leaving permanently.”

“It’s a big decision.”

“Speaking about _big_ decisions… You picked a Champion yet?”

“They’ve released three new ones; Jesus I feel like I’ve not played in _forever_.” Baekhyun complained half-heartedly.

“Well it’s completely understandable, I bet you’re super busy with the preparations.”

“Preparations?” He echoed distractedly, sipping his beer with one hand as he scanned the new Champions and assessed his current main with his other.

“Yeah. For the wedding.”

“Huh?” He paused, wracking his brain for news of anyone he knew getting married, but couldn’t think of who it could be.

“I get it’s supposed to be all _hush hush_ until the big public announcement, but this is _me_ , Baek. You don’t have to play dumb. I’m assuming you’re the best man. Have you started your speech yet?”

“Uh, Hyung? I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about...”

Heechul laughed. “Fine, keep it to yourself. But I just want to forewarn you that I better get an invite, I can’t wait to see Chanyeol’s reaction to your speech. Dude might even break down and cry he’ll be so happy. Then again maybe not, he’s like a robot with his emotions.”

A cold, sick feeling was beginning to take root in Baekhyun’s stomach. He put down his beer heavily.

“How did you know?” He asked, voice weird even to his own ears.

“Momo’s friend is the one designing the invites. They picked a Rose template, which is _so_ cliché.” He chuckled. 

“When?” Baekhyun could barely recognise his own voice at that point. He cleared his throat. “When did you find out?”

“Momo found out about, uh… Three weeks ago, maybe? Around then, I’m not sure. I’ve not spoken to you in _forever_ so I haven’t had a chance to bring it up. She thinks it’s sweet, that they’re planning a Spring wedding next year. _Girls_ eh. I’m surprised they’re waiting so long, but then I suppose a wedding like theirs is gonna be _huge_. Are celebrities going? I bet they are.”

But Baekhyun wasn’t listening, could barely hear _anything_ beyond the pounding of his pulse in his ears. Pulling off his headset slowly he held down the off button to his computer and sat back as the room was plunged into darkness without the monitors glow. Wedding. Rose theme. It didn’t take a genius to piece it all together. _Three weeks_ … The hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach was twisting and tugging. Sat in the darkness he brought the beer to his lips and chugged it down, draining it in seconds.

Chanyeol was getting married and he hadn’t told him.


	2. Chapter 2

[ **2.** **Baekhyun** ]  


“Jesus, _there_ you are! Why didn’t you answer your—” Chanyeol’s voice cut off as he entered the living room and stopped abruptly.

Turning around slowly to look at him, Baekhyun found Chanyeol staring at the suitcase with a frown.

“I thought I said _no_ to going to your parents last night.” He said at last with a put upon sigh.

“I’m not going to my parents.” Baekhyun was proud of how steady his voice was. “I’m leaving.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Chanyeol moved, standing directly in front of him, eyes darting from the suitcase to him in confusion. “Are you okay? You look…”

Baekhyun averted his eyes. “Sorry. I told myself I’d at least _try_ and give you a sincere smile, but I just can’t. That’s why I need to go.”

“Wait, slow down a moment. _Where_ do you want to go? On holiday? You should’ve said last night; I have some meetings today that I can’t reschedule but I could arrange something for an extended weekend, this Friday to Monday maybe. Where shall we go? Australia? America?”

Baekhyun lifted his gaze, trying to keeping his expression neutral.

“No. _I’m_ going away.” _From you_. “But I wanted to at least say congratulations to your face before I do. I owe you that much. So, congratulations.”

Chanyeol blinked slowly. “Congra— wha…?”

“On your wedding.”

Chanyeol’s face bled of all colour. He opened his mouth but closed it without making a sound, staring at him with those eyes that always mesmerised him. But the numbness that had taken root in Baekhyun’s stomach had spread over the night and for once Chanyeol’s eyes didn’t make his pulse race. They made him feel sad.

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked, breaking the silence. Chanyeol just stared at him wordlessly. “Was I even invited?”

“I… You’re the best man.” He said at last, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

The words felt like Chanyeol had stabbed him in the heart. Hearing the confirmation from his lips… Baekhyun shuddered.

“ _Why_ didn’t you tell me?”

Chanyeol moved again, sinking to his knees in front of him, hands grabbing his. 

“Look, it’s no big deal. Nothings going to change.”

“No big deal?” Baekhyun echoed woodenly. “Of course it’s a big deal. You’re getting _married_.”

Saying it aloud, Baekhyun’s stomach churned painfully. Chanyeol stared at up at him, eyes still wide and throat bobbing as he swallowed.

“Nothing will change.” He said again.

Baekhyun stared down at Chanyeol's thumbs rubbing over the top of his hands. He wished he could believe that. Wished nothing _would_ change… But he’d realised last night that he’d known for some time this was coming. He just hadn’t ever wanted to acknowledge it because the truth hurt.

“ _Everything’s_ changed.”

“No, it hasn’t. I’m only getting married, Baek. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” His eyes darted to the side where Baekhyun’s packed case was and he squeezed his hands. “And you’re not either.”

“I can’t be here.”

“Why? Why can’t you be here?” Baekhyun stared at him hard, the words he couldn’t say on the tip of his tongue.

But something about Chanyeol’s expression, the way he was _looking_ at him… The knife in his heart twisted. He wrenched his hands out of Chanyeol’s.

“You know, don’t you?”

Only then did Chanyeol avert his gaze. “That you’re gay? That you… That you’re attracted to me? Yeah. I know.”

“S-since when?”

“Since high school.”

For so long. Baekhyun would have stumbled if he hadn’t already been sat down. He wanted to laugh, scream, _cry_ , but a lump had formed in his throat and he wasn’t sure he _could_ say anything. His knee jerk reaction was to deny it, but why bother anymore? He was tired of keeping it to himself, he decided. And apparently despite the years he’d spent _trying_ to keep it a secret, Chanyeol knew. Had _always_ known. His heart squeezed painfully causing him to draw in a sharp breath.

“But it’s no big deal.” Chanyeol rushed out, seeing Baekhyun’s stricken expression. “I don’t care about that, I never have. It doesn’t bother me at all. You’re just _Baekhyun_ to me and that’s all that matters, that you’re with me.”

“I can’t be with you.”

“Says who?”

“Says _me_!” Baekhyun snapped, a rush of anger beginning to take hold. “Dammit Chanyeol, are you that fucking _dense_?”

“We’ve been together for years with you liking me. It’s not a big deal.”

“You’re getting _married_. How the Hell can you expect me to stay here, to be your _best man_ and watch while you get married when you _know_ how I feel? I can’t do that. You can’t expect me to go through that.”

A look of uncertainty crossed Chanyeol’s face. “Baek…”

“I can’t be here, I can’t keep pretending.”

“You don’t _have_ to pretend. It’s not a big deal—”

“Stop fucking _saying_ that!” Baekhyun shouted. “I’m not staying here with you, I can’t do this anymore.”

Chanyeol shuffled forward so he was between Baekhyun’s knees and grabbed his shirt, using it to shake him.

“No. You’re not going _anywhere_.”

“I’m not one of your underlings, Chanyeol. You can’t order me around.”

“Like Hell I can’t.” He scowled, the hands grabbing his shirt fisting. The tug on his shoulders and arms from the pull of his shirt made Baekhyun bow forward. Chanyeol leaned in close and touched their foreheads together. “You’re in my territory. I won’t _let_ you leave.”

“Yes, you will. I won’t stay here — it’ll _kill_ me.”

A hoarse, choking sound came from Chanyeol’s throat. He released Baekhyun’s shirt with a jerk and dropped back on his ass away from him. Smoothing out his shirt, Baekhyun ignored the way his fingers trembled.

“Don’t.” Chanyeol whispered, a touch of panic in his tone. “Don’t do this Baek. I… I need you.”

The desperation in his tone almost shattered Baekhyun’s resolve, but he forced himself to remain firm.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do! I need you. I fucking _need_ you.”

“You _don’t_ need me. You’re getting married. You’re going to have a wife and soon you’ll have kids and—” His own voice cut off as that stupid lump in his throat returned. It took him a few moments to swallow it down, where it formed a lead ball in his hollow stomach. “There’s no place for me in that picture.”

“There’s _always_ a place for you with me.”

“Not the place I want.” Baekhyun told him softly. “I deserve to be loved.”

“Is that what this is about? Jesus Baek, I _do_ love you! You’re my best friend!”

Baekhyun shook his head. “Not that way. Not… Not how I love _you_.”

Once he said it he wished he could take it back because the way Chanyeol stared at him… He _hated_ it. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this way. Never, when he had pictured the moment he confessed his love, did it happen like _this_. Even in his worst imaginations, when Chanyeol reacted with disgust and horror, it didn’t seem as bad as this, because Chanyeol’s indifference to his feelings hurt a Hell of a lot more than a straight up rejection ever could.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “This, what we have… It’s not _right_ , Yeol.”

“Says who?”

“ _Everyone_!” Baekhyun shouted. “Jesus, you have to know what people say about us, what they whisper behind our backs. No one would ever say it to you, but I hear them. I’m the clingy childhood friend, a laughing stock who has no job; the _pathetic_ idiot who follows you round like a love-sick puppy, desperate for just a bit of you.”

Chanyeol’s expression darkened. “Who the fuck says that? I’ll _kill_ them.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the truth, Yeol; I _am_ pathetic. What do I have? _Nothing_. I literally have nothing without you and that’s not right.”

No job. No possessions. No direction. Even his apartment was paid for by Chanyeol. _I have no right to be by his side_ , Baekhyun concluded hollowly.

“What do you want? Say it Baek and I’ll get you it.”

“It’s not even about that!” Baekhyun huffed, running a shaky hand through his hair. He was getting off track and he knew he had to end this. “I’m the third wheel and it’s killing me. You’ll never love me back and I am an idiot for sticking around despite that. I deserve… More.” _More than this._

“More?” Chanyeol’s lips curled into a sneer. “You mean sex.”

“No. But I guess I deserve that too.” Baekhyun admitted with a sigh. “I deserve to be loved by someone in the way you can _never_ love me. I want to be _happy_.”

“You’re not happy with me?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “Not in the way I deserve to be.”

Something like betrayal seemed to flash in Chanyeol’s eyes before a mask lowered over it. He stood slowly, his eyes suddenly so devoid of emotion that it made Baekhyun‘s blood run cold. He knew that look — it was Chanyeol’s Mafia Lord expression, the one he usually showed the world. But _never_ him. Never before.

“Fine. You want to leave me? Go. But you won’t be welcome back in Seoul.”

The eerie calmness of his voice made Baekhyun shiver. Standing on legs that only trembled slightly, he grabbed the handle of his case and drew in a deep breath.

“I won’t come back.” Baekhyun vowed quietly. “But… I _do_ wish you the best in your marriage. Rose, she’s… Shes great. You’re very lucky.”

“She is.” Chanyeol agreed flatly. “And I am.”

Nodding stiffly Baekhyun walked out of the apartment and kept walking the streets until his legs finally gave out. Sinking down into a crouch he let out a shuddery breath as a tear escaped his eyes. _That_ had been painful. His chest, his heart, his head — _everything_ hurt. It felt like he was burning and drowning at the same time and a sob burst from his lips. This had to be for the best, he assured himself over and over like a mantra. Seeing Chanyeol married, starting a family… It really would have killed him over time. There was only so much he could take and only so long he could stay by his side.

Now that time was up.

**_14 Years Ago_ **

Baekhyun was eating lunch alone. _Again_. The bullying had taken the form of total isolation; no one spoke to him, included him or even made eye contact with him unless they were forced to. Baekhyun had long decided he’d preferred the physical beatings. At first he hadn’t minded being left alone, had even felt thankful for his classmates ignoring him for a change. But after over a year of being treated like he didn’t exist, left out day after day, after day, _after day_ … He could now admit it was probably the worse form of bullying by far. 

Opening his lunch box he sighed. Egg roll, rice and kimchi. Grabbing his chopsticks, he took a bite into one of the soft egg rolls just as he heard a grunt. Pausing he listened and heard more strange sounds followed by the scrape of rubber against concrete, the high pitched squeal making him wince. Lowering the egg roll he put his lunchbox to one side against the wall he was sitting on and went to investigate.

People didn’t come to this part of the school, namely because it was located behind the teachers building to the side of the sports field. The only students who would even _think_ to come to such an isolating location were those like Baekhyun, who didn’t have friends to hang out with. Peeking around the side of the building, he froze when he spotted three students play fighting. His moment of envy over their friendship soon turned to fascination when he realised they weren’t play fighting at all…

One of the boys fell to the ground and clutched his nose, red seeping through his fingers. The other two boys were still fighting but before long another fell, this time clutching his ribs as he glared up at the victor.

“Take it!” The one clutching his ribs panted as he threw something. “It’s all yours you fucking _psycho_!”

Grabbing his bleeding friend the two limped away quickly, muttering insults at the winner as they did so. Baekhyun watched the tall, lanky boy shuffle off to collapse against the wire link fence that surrounded the school. He’d won the fight… But at what cost? Even from a distance Baekhyun could see his bust lip, the cuts on his face and his uniform dirtied.

“Are you going to stand there staring all break time?” The boy suddenly asked.

Glancing around, Baekhyun couldn’t see anyone else who he could be speaking to. He was wondering whether the boy was simply speaking to _himself_ when suddenly the boys head lifted and his eyes locked on Baekhyun directly, causing him to startle. _No one_ had looked at him during school hours in months, not since Joon-Ho had been forced to during a P.E exam. The boy held up a hand and made a gesture for him to come closer, arm lifted and hand waving. Baekhyun did so without thought.

“Look for a notepad.” The boy instructed when he had approached.

Again without thinking Baekhyun began to search and by where the boys had been fighting he found a tiny pocket sized notebook. He brought it to the boy quickly. When his eyes locked onto the notepad in Baekhyun’s hand they lit up in excitement and he snatched it quickly, hips lifting as he slid it into his pocket with a satisfied smile before he winced as his split lip tore open further. Baekhyun watched the blood dripping down his chin, before his gaze lifted, once again finding the boy watching him. Looking directly at _him_.

“Did you see the fight?” The boy asked. Baekhyun nodded. “I looked pretty cool, right?” Again Baekhyun nodded. “Next time I’ll kill them.”

The words were muttered so calmly yet with so much conviction Baekhyun cleared his throat and spoke, voice quiet and timid even to his own ears.

“Why was you fighting?”

The boys eyes narrowed. “They took something of _mine_.” He patted his pocket where the notepad was.

“A replacement won’t cost much.”

“But it’s _mine_.” The boy declared fiercely.

Baekhyun blinked, staring into the boys eyes, mesmerised by his reaction. The boy was maintaining eye contact and actually speaking to _him_. Baekhyun wasn’t sure how he was staying so calm outwardly when inside he was having a minor freak out, heart racing and the palms of his hands turning slick with nerves.

“Have you eaten?” He asked the boy uncertainly.

“No.”

“Do… Do you want some of my lunch box?”

The boy shrugged. “Sure.” Grabbing the chainlink fence behind him he used it to pull himself up, grunting as he put weight on one of his legs.

Baekhyun immediately stepped forward to help him as he took a hobbled step and the boy froze, his body suddenly on high alert and a cold look crossing his face that made Baekhyun flinch away.

“ _Don’t_.” The boy said. “Don’t touch me.”

Baekhyun nodded quickly and instead moved to grab the boys backpack, carrying it for him as he limped behind Baekhyun to where his lunchbox was. As the boy sat next to him on the wall, Baekhyun held out his lunchbox eagerly and the boy took it, tucking into the food without further prompting.

“Where do you normally eat lunch?” He asked the boy.

“I don’t.”

“You don’t eat lunch?” The boy shook his head. “Why?”

“No lunch.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows lowered, but he didn’t dare ask why.

“What year are you in?” He asked instead.

“Two.”

“I’m in three.” The boy didn’t react to that. “Are you a transfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Where from?”

“Younghoon.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Expelled.”

Baekhyun knew he was practically interviewing the boy while he was trying to eat, but he was just too carried away that someone was _speaking_ to him willingly. He felt like he was on a high and was having difficulty keeping his excitement in check. He couldn’t stop staring at him, even though the boy was no longer looking at him, his entire focus on Baekhyun’s lunchbox which he was eating hurriedly. But Baekhyun didn’t mind in the slightest.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun by the way.” He said quietly, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Around a mouthful of egg-roll the boy answered. “Park Chanyeol.”

It was the beginning of something special... Though Baekhyun could never have known how bittersweet that friendship would soon turn to be.


	3. Chapter 3

[ **3.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun buried back under his covers and couldn’t help the shiver that wracked his body. When he’d rented this room, he’d been warned by the landlord he needed to top up the heating with the payment card, but he’d not bothered to. Now he was beginning to regret that because he was certain it was colder in the room than it was outside. Not that he had any desire to go outside, either.

China was _different_. The culture, the food, the people – heck, even the way people carried themselves seemed different to him. As fascinating as it might have been to him before… This last two weeks had been _horrible_. Sometimes he didn’t even get out of bed at all, just dozed all day and all night, only to repeat the cycle again. He ate when _forced_ to, when his body physically couldn’t handle the clawing hunger pains any longer. But those days were the worst, when he had to get up and go outside, to face the world moving while he felt he was trapped in limbo.

He was self-aware enough to understand and realise what he was suffering was depression. But what he couldn’t grasp was how to get out of it. He knew logically laying around in bed wasn’t the answer, but the real one was lost to him. Or maybe he just didn’t _want_ to acknowledge it. He’d only been in China a week, but it was long enough for him to spiral into a dark haze that he couldn’t escape. That he didn’t _want_ to escape, if he was being honest.

Opening his eyes he stared up at his water stained ceiling and felt his eyes well with tears. It had all gone so wrong. His heart was pounding and his eyes were stinging as he fought to keep the tears in check, body tensing with the pain in his chest and gut. _That_ pain had been a near constant feeling for him since he’d walked out of his apartment that fateful day, but he could never get used to it. In his mind he went over that day, the things that were said and the things he wished he _had_ said. But no matter what even in his imagination he always left, because deep down he knew it was for the best.

Rolling onto his stomach Baekhyun buried his face into the pillows and shuddered. The best for whom, he wondered. Himself? Chanyeol? Even thinking _his_ name cause the pain in his heart to pulse. _For the best_ … It didn’t feel that way now. He had never been away from Chanyeol for long; a few days here and there when Chanyeol was on a trip with business, or when Baekhyun was visiting his parents. Even when he’d graduated to High School, leaving Chanyeol behind to complete his final year of middle school, they’d not been apart, meeting the moment they finished school. _Seventeen days_. That’s how long it had been seen he’d left his apartment. He wasn’t _actively_ counting, but his body was so aware of the amount of time he’d been without _Him_ that he couldn’t help but know.

Crawling out of the bed Baekhyun moved to his fridge to grab a beer and huffed when he discovered it empty. Not just of beer either but of _anything_. Which meant he’d have to go out. Not bothering to shower or change out of the clothes he’d worn yesterday — and slept in — he simply threw on his coat, grabbed his wallet and set out on the freezing street, ignoring the looks he was getting for his rough appearance. The convenience store wasn’t far from his apartment, but he took a seat outside with his purchases and cracked open one of the cans, too drained to walk back, he let himself fester in his heartache.

 _Everything_ was effort these days.

Everything _hurt_.

“Can I have one?” A female voice slurred in Korean.

Turning, Baekhyun found a woman stood at the side of him, swaying and clearly drunk. She stared at his bag of beers pointedly before slapping her head and repeating the request in stunted Chinese.

“Get your own.”

“Korean?” She sighed in relief. “Thank God. My Chinese is _awful_.”

Ignoring his refusal she sat opposite him and grabbed one of his cans, cracking it open and sipping the overflow. Baekhyun watched her, too drained to put up a fight. What was one beer anyway? He had two packs of ten to get him through the night.

“You replace what you drink.” He told her.

She mock saluted him. “Yes sir!”

Rolling his eyes Baekhyun took another long slurp of his beer, deciding her level of drunk was _just_ what he needed. He’d barely been sober the whole time he was here and doubted his body would thank him for it, but it helped numb his mind.

“So why are you drinking?” The woman asked.

“None of your business.”

“True. But I’m a stranger, so I can offer impartial advice.”

Baekhyun scoffed at this and eyed her more closely. He’d assumed she was drunk, but he was beginning to suspect that like him, she had been drunk at some point today and was sobering up. He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“I don’t want advice.”

“No one _wants_ advice. But sometimes we need it.” She argued. “Let me guess — failed business venture.”

“No. Not even close.”

“Then love.”

He grunted as he grabbed another can and cracked it open, drinking down half before coming up for air. The woman watched him without expression.

“Love it is.” She declared.

“That obvious?”

“To _me_ it is. Two broken hearts are known to call to one another.”

He eyed her again at her strange words. “ _Two_ broken hearts?”

“Yes, two. This one…” she pointed to his chest, then patted her own. “And this one.”

He nodded slowly, realising her meaning, though he didn’t fully understand it because he was beginning to suspect again that she was merely drunk. Not that he was any different— the beer in his empty stomach was quickly getting him back to being drunk again. That, and his bloodstream was more than likely 70% alcohol at this point.

“So, you’re drinking your sorrow away too?” She asked.

“No.”

“Well, I am. Or I’m _trying_ to. Being drunk makes it hurts less I think.”

Once again her words stunned him, this time because they were more of less what he’d been thinking himself. Shaking his head he finished the rest of his can and stood, gathering the carrier bag. The woman quickly jumped out of her seat.

“Hey wait, don’t go.” She protested.

He turned around and said over his shoulder. “It’s freezing. I’m going home.”

“Then I’ll come with you.”

Baekhyun paused and turned fully towards her. “You don’t even know me.”

“No… But I have a feeling you can be trusted. And anyway, I don’t doubt that I can overpower you if I needed to.”

She was barely 5,1”, this woman, and probably weighed less than 50KG, and yet Baekhyun didn’t doubt that she _could_ overpower him. He knew he’d lost a lot of weight — and muscle mass — during his days moping in bed not eating and drinking himself unconsciousness. Right now he was certain a five year old could overpower him.

“You can’t just invite yourself to a strangers apartment.” He told her.

“That’s _my_ choice. Wait here — I’ll buy us some more beer.”

Baekhyun watched her rush into the convenience store and move to the fridges where the beer was. He contemplated simply rushing back to his apartment and leaving her behind. And yet… Something about her made him stay in place.

“Thanks for waiting! I got beer and snacks” She called as she skipped out of the store with her bag. “Let’s go, it’s _freezing_!”

Baekhyun lead the way back to his apartment, once again questioning why he was bringing a stranger back to where he was staying. His side eyed the girl and found her watching him back. She was pretty enough, a few years older than him maybe and a skinny thing, with shoulder length brown hair and skin that was possibly paler than even his. She blinked at him and offered a smile, which he didn’t return. He still wasn’t certain about her.

“You’re staying _here_?” She asked as they walked up the stairs to his apartment.

“Yeah. Why?”

“It’s a shit hole.” She said bluntly.

Baekhyun scoffed. “My apologises _Princess_.”

“You’re forgiven.”

Baekhyun felt his lips twitch before they turned back down into what felt like a permanent pout lately. Shoving open his apartment door he gestured for her to enter and she did so, seeming unfazed by the mess of takeout noodle tubs and crushed beer cans littering the floor. Shoving the mess off his table she sat down cross legged and placed her beers on the surface, immediately opening one for herself. He joined her, the satisfactory crack of the can opening making him sigh.

“Your place is… _Interesting_.” She said, breaking the silence.

“I thought you already declared it a shit hole?”

“That was just the lobby. Inside is… _Worse_ , which only strengthens my theory.”

“What theory?”

“That your heart is broken.”

“I thought we already established that.”

She blinked at him. “We did?” He nodded. “Ah. That’s probably why I feel such a connection with you then.”

“Because we both have broken hearts?”

“Yeah. Somehow I sensed you could needed my company.”

Baekhyun finished his can and reached for another. “I don’t _want_ company.”

“I think you do.”

“You’re insane, you know that?” He snapped suddenly. “You invited yourself back to a strange males apartment. Are you _easy_ or something?”

She eyed him closely. “You’re not my type.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and let his head thump back against the wall of his apartment. Type… He wasn’t sure he _had_ a type, thinking about it logically. All these years he’d only ever really had eyes for Chanyeol. Maybe… Maybe he wasn’t gay at all. Opening his eyes he focused on the woman intently. He could acknowledge her beauty, see that under her baggy sweater she had a great figure. But they did _nothing_ for him.

“You’re not mine either.” He retorted, taking a long drink of his beer.

He wished it would kick in so the alcohol would make him black out already. He wished he could stop thinking about _Him_ , could stop wanting and craving him so damn much. Even when it hurt to remember, to even picture _Him_ in his mind Baekhyun found himself enjoying the pain, because he was addicted to Chanyeol in ways he couldn’t even explain to himself.

“Let me guess; you like blondes.” The woman spoke, breaking him out of his internal ramblings.

“No.”

“Red heads?” She asked skeptically.

“No.” Then again he’d like Chanyeol with red or blonde hair. He’d like him with _any_ hair colour. “Why are you just listing hair colours?”

“Fine… Big _boobs_. Boobs you want to bury your face into and motorboat until you feel like your suffocating.”

“Wha— God no, just stop.” He frowned, almost choking on his beer.

She sat up straighter. “You’re telling me a good pair of boobs does _nothing_ for you?”

He didn’t answer, just finished off his can and narrowed his eyes as the room wavered at the edges slightly. Oh yeah, it was coming. He could feel it. He begged it to hurry up because the pain was threatening to overwhelm him.

“Wait… Are you…” Baekhyun forced himself to focus on her to find her poking her two fingers together suggestively and he was pretty sure his cheeks set on fire. “Oh my God, you _are_! You’re gay!” She announced cheerfully. “No wonder I felt so safe with you.”

“Gay guys can be assholes too.” He muttered, figuring there was no point denying it.

He liked a guy, so surely that made him gay. 

“Right. Of course they can. _All_ people can be assholes. But you being gay… I’m happy.”

“Why?”

“Because it looks like we’re on the same rainbow road, my friend.”

It took his sluggish mind a moment to decipher her words, and when they did his eyes widened.

“You’re a _lesbian_?”

She lifted her chin proudly. “I sure am.”

Baekhyun couldn’t help it — his lips curled up into a smile. “You’re weird, you know that?”

“No, I’m _manic_.” She corrected. “I’ve not been sober for a solid 24 hours and I’m running on about 5 hours sleep this week, tops. And I think I’m having a breakdown if I’m honest. Can people _having_ a breakdown acknowledge it?”

Baekhyun’s smile didn’t shift and if anything, it widened. He grabbed another can and offered it to her, noting hers was empty.

“Well if they can then I guess _I’m_ having a breakdown too. So welcome to Heartbroken town.” He said, holding his own can up to celebrate.

“Population: us. At least we can suffer through this shit town _together_.” She tapped her can against his.

“I suppose I don’t mind having a breakdown with you.” He admitted.

“You don’t have a choice.” She smiled back. “I’m Kim Taeyeon by the way.”

“Byun Baekhyun.”

“Shall we get blackout drunk and cry over our shitty love lives, Byun Baekhyun?”

“Lets.”

**_Six Months Later_ **

Baekhyun grinned at the blogger who was shaking his hand. A moment of pride filled his chest as he listened to the man explain in rapid detail how much he _loved_ Baekhyun’s designs. He was glad — he couldn’t get enough of hearing people praise his work, because he’d poured his heart and soul into it. It wasn’t a permanent store — his designs would be sold online — but a pop up event for now, though he did rent this space as his office for designing in. It was the place where he’d been _reborn_.

“Thank you for coming.” He said to the man sincerely.

Immediately Taeyeon was at his side, her arm hooked through his as they did the rounds of the room, greeting the guests and toasting his success.

“I bet you thought this day would never come.” She said as they got a moment to themselves.

“No. I never thought it would be like _this_.” Baekhyun breathed.

“It’s all amazing.” She agreed as she looked around. “I’m _so_ proud of you.”

Baekhyun tapped his flute with hers as he too looked around. _His_ clothing design sketches were blown up on the wall, models waltz around the room wearing _his_ clothing, flaunting _his_ styles. Looking at them now, it was a haze of how he’d come to even have any of this.

Six months ago, after a solid two weeks of him and Taeyeon both drinking none stop, it was like suddenly everything began to click into place. They began showering, stopped drinking to excess and slowly, the pair merged back into civil life, albeit somewhat reluctantly. Because as nice as it had been falling _into_ oblivion with Taeyeon, Baekhyun had found it much easier climbing back _out_ of it with her.

In the beginning he’d only been drawing to pass the time, since Taeyeon was a celebrity blogger. He’d found himself sketching the celebrities she took photographs of, drawing his own ideas of clothing on them. Taeyeon had seen his sketches and introduced him to some of her friends in the fashion industry and the rest, as they saying went, was _history_.

“Thank you.” He told her seriously, catching her eye. “None of this would have happened without you.”

“Nonsense. You’d have found your passion eventually.”

“No, Tae. I’m pretty sure I’d have been _dead_ somewhere if you hadn’t pushed yourself into my life that day.”

“You saying I’m pushy?” She teased.

“Oh, your name is next to the _definition_ of pushy.” He grinned.

“As I recall, I didn’t do much helping in the beginning.”

Baekhyun considered that. “No. But it was what we both needed.” And then suddenly it hadn’t. “But without you I’d have _still_ been in that place now.”

 _Or dead_. He wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d have probably drank himself into an early grave if left to his own devices.

“Me too.” She said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder. “We were _meant_ to meet that day.”

“Sorry to interrupt such a lovely _couple_. But could I have a few moments alone with the man of the hour?”

Baekhyun stiffened at the words spoken from behind him. No, it was the _voice_ those words belonged to that rattled him. He’d know it absolutely anywhere. Taeyeon was staring, her eyes darting between Baekhyun and the speaker with confusion, obviously picking up on Baekhyun’s discomfort.

“Uh, well, I don’t think…” She muttered, looking for a clue from Baekhyun as to what he wanted.

“I’m sure he has time for an old _friend_. Right, Baek?”


	4. Chapter 4

[ **4.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Slowly, so slowly that he knew objectively he must have looked ridiculous, Baekhyun turned around and met Chanyeol’s gaze. He was pretty sure his heart was hammering through his ears and that damn lead ball had returned to his stomach. God, he looked the same. How was it possible for someone to look so _good_? It had only been almost seven months since he’d last seen him but to Baekhyun it felt like a lifetime. He wasn’t supposed to _be_ here, he wasn’t supposed to just appear in his life again, not when things were going well for him.

Not when he was finally beginning to believe that he could live without him.

“Sure.” Baekhyun answered at last, aware that Taeyeon was watching him still.

“Ok… Then I’ll give you guys a moment.” She said uncertainly.

It wasn’t until she was gone that Chanyeol smiled, that cold, shark-like curl of his lips he used with everyone. It was cruel, vicious, and not what Baekhyun liked.

“She’s pretty. I didn’t realise you swung _both_ ways.”

Baekhyun’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”

“It’s good to see you, too.”

“You shouldn’t _be_ here.”

Chanyeol looked around. “Shouldn’t I? Because from what I gathered this is a _public_ event, the tickets were selling online. I bought mine like everyone else here.”

Baekhyun glanced around, because Chanyeol – like usual – was drawing too much attention. The guests seemed to assume he was a model because of his impressive height and good looks and Baekhyun noticed a few people appraising Chanyeol’s suit as if trying to ascertain whether it were Baekhyun’s design or not. When he caught a blogger about to sneak a picture of them both, Baekhyun gestured for Chanyeol to follow as he led them both to the room at the back he used to store material which was, thankfully, unoccupied. Closing the door behind them, Baekhyun took a moment to collect himself before turning to face him again.

“You look good.” Chanyeol said, his eyes running over Baekhyun, expression softening slightly. “Looks like you’ve been doing well here.”

“I am.”

 _Now_. But had Chanyeol found him earlier… He wouldn’t have said Baekhyun looked good at all.

That vicious smile returned. “And there’s _nothing_ about Seoul you miss?”

“I’m happy here.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

Baekhyun let out a breath. “Stop playing your mind-fuck games and just tell me what you want.”

“ _You_.” The breath Baekhyun had released was immediately sucked back in. “I want you to come home, Baekhyunnie.”

He hated that nick-name and Chanyeol knew it. It reminded him of easier times, when they were in middle school and Baekhyun hadn’t yet figured out his feelings for his best friend – or men in general. That’s what Chanyeol had called him, and as the years went by and Baekhyun slowly began to realise his love for his best friend went _beyond_ platonic, that nickname was too much like a pet-name for him to like hearing it anymore. He’d never be the Baekhyunnie Chanyeol knew back then, the one who really _was_ just a friend to him.

“No.”

“Don’t be difficult. We both know you miss me.”

“God you’re so fucking conceited.” Baekhyun laughed without humour. “I told you, I’m happy here.”

“Well I’m not. I’m fucking _miserable_ without you.”

Baekhyun felt sick to his stomach. He backed away instinctively as Chanyeol took a step towards him, his back hitting the wall. Standing so close his breath ghosted over Baekhyun’s face, Chanyeol’s harsh expression melted away entirely, leaving a stark vulnerability that made his chest ache in a completely different way. Reaching out, Chanyeol stroked a hand down his cheek before resting it on his shoulder.

“I missed you.” He whispered, his deep voice so broken that Baekhyun let out a choked sound.

“Don’t.” He pleaded.

Chanyeol’s other hand came up on his other shoulder and in sync, both moved to grasp his neck. “Say you miss me too. Admit you’ve been as miserable as I have.”

“Please—”

“ _Say it_ , Baek. Tell me the truth.” He leaned forward so their foreheads were touching. “I _need_ to hear you say it.”

“I missed you.” He admitted at last, voice hoarse.

“I knew it.” Chanyeol smiled in satisfaction, leaning back to study his face.

“But this changes nothing.”

Chanyeol dropped his hands to his side. “What? Of course it does. I’m telling you to come back home with me—”

“And then we’ll be back to square one. _Nothing_ has changed. You’re still engaged to marry Rose and I’m… I’m…”

“You’re in love with me.” Chanyeol finished, and Baekhyun flinched at him saying the words so casually. “But don’t you see, Baek? I love you, too.”

“No—”

“Don’t.” Chanyeol interrupted. “Don’t tell me how I feel because you have _no_ fucking idea. Just because I don’t want you _that_ way doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Baek. You… I need you so much it scares me.”

“But it’s not enough.” Baekhyun said, more to himself though than Chanyeol.

“You said you love me. But if you really _did_ love me, you would want to stay beside me.”

Baekhyun shoved him further away. “Don’t try and manipulate me by using my love for you. That’s too cruel.”

“I _am_ cruel!” Chanyeol snapped, surging towards him again, invading his personal space. “I’m a goddamn horrible person, or have you forgotten what I do for a living? I’m mean, selfish and I want you back. I’ll do _anything_ I can to get you back because trying to exist without you in my life is exhausting. I need you and I _know_ you need me.”

“I… I can’t…”

“Is it because of _her_? That girl from before?” Chanyeol asked sharply, a possessive edge to his voice.

“No. She’s just a friend.”

“Then why? Why won’t you come back?”

 _Because I want you. I want you in ways that scare me_. Baekhyun knew it was absurd to even consider going back, and yet… He needed Chanyeol just as much, if not more, than he needed him. It was true, he was doing well in China, had begun what could be a successful career and made great friends. But it never seemed _enough_. There was a broken piece of his heart that only Chanyeol could fix. He knew it was fucked up, but it was the truth. His love for Chanyeol, no matter how hopeless and painful it was, was as much a part of him now as breathing. Baekhyun looked away, his chest constricting.

“I just don’t know.”

Chanyeol reached out again to stroke a hand down his cheek. “ _Please_.”

“You’re not being fair.”

“I know. But I’ll do anything to get you back, Baek. _Anything_.”

Including hurt him, because that’s what this would do. He knew that, and yet…

“I need time.”

Chanyeol nodded eagerly. “That’s fine.”

“Really?” Baekhyun frowned suspiciously.

“Yeah. I mean I get it; you’ve made friends here.” Baekhyun didn’t miss the bitterness in Chanyeol’s tone. “You’ll have to cut your ties and—”

“No.”

Chanyeol blinked. “No what?”

“No, I meant I need time to _think_ about it.”

“Wha— why? What’s there to think about?”

“Everything! I’ve begun a life here; I have a career I’m starting, an apartment I’ve just leased for another six months, friends, business deals I’m working on… It’s not just as easy as dropping everything.”

“Of course it is. I can pay out your lease and you can relocate your business to Seoul. I’ll help you find a premise and hook you up with designers.”

All of what Baekhyun owned… It would all be Chanyeol’s once again. His premises. His contacts. His input. Chanyeol’s need to possesses and own… Baekhyun shook his head.

“I don’t want you to do any of that. It’s _my_ apartment. _My_ career. _My_ contacts and _my_ premises god dammit and _I’ll_ take care of what needs taking care of!”

Chanyeol stared at him, seeming taken back by his outburst and Baekhyun flushed, knowing he’d sounded like a petulant child. He parted his lips to apologise when the door to their room opened and Taeyeon poked her head in.

“Baek? People are looking for you.” She said, eying their close proximity.

Baekhyun quickly took a step back from him. “I’m coming.” He said.

When he began to follow her out of the room Chanyeol reached out and grabbed his arm.

“I’m only in China until next Wednesday. Think about what I said, Baek. I really _do_ want you back.”

Knowing Taeyeon was still listening, Baekhyun smiled blandly. “I’ll think about it.” He promised, pulling his arm free.

Following Taeyeon from the room, he shook his head.

“I’ll explain later.” He said in answer to her probing look.

But once all the guests had left, he found her still watching him expectantly. He sighed heavily and sank down at one of the tables.

“It’s _Him_ , isn’t it? The one that near enough ruined you when we first met.” She said as she joined him.

“He didn’t do anything. Not really. It was… It’s _me_ that’s the problem.”

Taeyeon quirked a brow. “How?”

“He… He doesn’t love me in the way I love him.”

“He’s _straight_?” He nodded. “Wow. That was _not_ the vibe I was getting from him. Are you completely sure?”

“Straight and engaged..” His words sounded bitter even to his own ears.

“Oh… Jesus.”

“Exactly. But he’s my best friend, Tae.”

“And you’re sure he’s not at _least_ bi?”

“Trust me. Park Chanyeol is is the definition of straight.”

Her eyes widened. “He’s Park Chanyeol? Of _LOEY_?” He nodded. “Oh God! I was so rude to him…”

Baekhyun looked away sharply. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Are you kidding? Never mind the definition of straight, he’s the definition of _dangerous_. I’ve heard the rumours about him. How the Hell did you become best friends with someone like that?”

“I’ve known him since middle school. We’ve been inseparable since. He… He and I…” He let out a breath. “We were all each other had back then.”

“I just can’t picture it. You’re not…”

“Like him?” He smirked, because that was the reaction everyone had, seeing them together. “No. Maybe not. Even back then we weren’t alike. We were both loners, but his was by choice. I was bullied to the point of indifference by my classmates, whilst he was feared by them, yet they were drawn to him nevertheless.” Like moths to a flame. “But out of them all, he was the only one who acknowledged me. Not even out of pity either, but that he—” Baekhyun cut himself off and grabbed the nearest champagne bottle and chugged directly from it.

“Baek?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He muttered. “It is what it is. We’ve been by each other’s side all these years and I… I _need_ him too.”

“Even though he hurts you?”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Even then. There will _always_ be some part of me that wants to accept whatever he offers me, no matter how painful or unfulfilling it is. I sound pathetic, don't I?"

"I won't lie and pretend you're speaking sanely, because you're not. Wanting just a small piece of the ones we love _is_ normal, though I can't say it's healthy. But I get it, probably more than most people."

"Sometimes I feel like just being _near_ him is enough, but then there's other times where I want _more_. And yet there's no balance, because there's nothing more he _can_ give me. He doesn't want me the way I want him and I know nothing is going to change that." He looked up at TaeYeon sadly. "I wish sexuality could be changed. If I was straight none of this would be an issue. I hate feeling like this."

" _Every_ sexuality can suffer from unrequited love so don't _ever_ be ashamed of who you are." TaeYeon suddenly said firmly.

Baekhyun nodded, feeling rightly scolded. "I thought I could stay away, start fresh and forget him...”

“But you can’t.” She reached over and took the bottle from him, taking a long drink herself.

"He's my best friend." Baekhyun said. "But I _hate_ the term 'best friends' to describe us. When I have to tell people he's my best friend it makes me so mad because _friend_ isn't the right word to explain what we are and using it feels so... Fake. He means so much _more_ to me than just a simple friend." He paused then laughed softly. “Saying this all out loud is making me realise I’m crazy, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re in love. Love makes us do stupid, desperate things. I’m a prime example of that.” Her smile was brittle. “If… If _She_ turned up here for me, I’d probably do what you’re gonna do. But she won’t come for me.”

“She’s your Chanyeol.”

“She is. God, we’re a mess of a pair, aren’t we?”

“We’re hopeless.” He agreed.

“This is why they say you should never fall for a straight person. They’ll only crush your heart.”

Baekhyun grimaced. “Is _your_ heart still broken?”

While they’d done a lot of healing together, Baekhyun knew very little about the woman who had hurt Taeyeon, didn’t even know her name or the circumstance around it. While he’d slowly opened up to Taeyeon about a few elements of his pain, she’d remained very tight lipped and he’d never pushed her to speak about it, because he could see how much it destroyed her. But that didn’t stop him wondering.

“Yeah. I think mine will always be broken though.” She said quietly. “ _She_ won’t come for me; not like he’s done for you.”

“ _You_ could go to _her_.” Baekhyun suggested.

“No. I can’t.” Clearing her throat Taeyeon offered him a sad smile. “She’s not in a position to have me by her side or _anywhere_ near her.”

He frowned at her strange choice of wording. “Is she married?”

“No. But she’s… She’s just out of my league, let us leave it at that.” Taeyeon reached for another discarded bottle on the next table and held it up. “To dysfunctional, unobtainable love. May we both suffer as painlessly as possible.” She toasted.

He clanked his bottle against hers and truly wished it would be true.


	5. Chapter 5

[ **5.** **Baekhyun** ]  


The door to the office opened and Baekhyun smiled, still looking down at his latest sketch design.

“About time! I thought you were going all the way to _Colombia_ to pick the coffee beans yourself.” He scolded Taeyeon playfully.

“Why would I do that?” A voice that most definitely did _not_ belong to Taeyeon asked.

Looking up sharply, Baekhyun found Chanyeol stood in his office, an unreadable expression on his face. Quickly standing, Baekhyun’s eyes went to the door then back to Chanyeol.

“How did you get in? The door was locked.” He accused.

“Really Baek, _that’s_ what you’re wondering?” Reaching into his suit pocket, Chanyeol brought out a key and smiled as he put it on the table. “I used the key.”

“ _Taeyeon’s_ key.”

“She should learn to better secure her things if she doesn’t want to be pickpocketed.”

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at the amusement in his tone. “That’s _theft_.”

“It’s hardly the worst crime I’ve committed, is it?” Chanyeol mocked.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. I told you I was leaving today.”

Today being Wednesday. Baekhyun had been purposely avoiding thinking about Chanyeol this week, instead putting all his focus and energy into his work to prove to himself that he _could_ forget if he tried. But that hadn’t stopped his mind wandering at night, or heart wavering constantly. The truth was... Even when he was distracted or busy Baekhyun _hadn't_ forgotten. It was like a sickness, a lingering pain forever pestering him.

“And?” Baekhyun asked, forcing his tone to remain casual.

Chanyeol’s expression hardened. “ _And_ I want my answer.”

“I don’t have it yet.”

“It’s been five days.”

“I need more time.”

“You’ve had _enough_ time!” Chanyeol snapped, hands lifted to run through his hair and messing it up. “For fuck sake, what is there to even think about? I want you back!”

“There’s _everything_ to think about!” Baekhyun snapped back.

“Just tell me what it is you want and I'll make it happen.”

“Nothing.”

“Like Hell there isn’t! What can I do to make you come back?”

Baekhyun sat back down heavily. “It’s not that simple.”

“You need come back with me to Seoul and put us both out of this misery.”

Baekhyun rested his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes warily. Chanyeol made it all sound so easy, as though simply going back to Seoul with him would solve all their problems. But it wasn’t. It would _never_ be easy.

“I don’t have an answer for you right now.” He said at last.

“Then when? A few more days? A week? Month?”

“I can’t give you a time scale.”

“Then give me _something_!” Chanyeol shouted, storming over to him furiously. 

Grabbing his arm he hurled Baekhyun to his feet and shoved him back into the wall. Leaning forward he placed both hands on either side on him, trapping him and leaned in close so Baekhyun could feel his breath ghosting against his forehead. The closeness, the scent of him, the warmth coming from his body – it was all too much. A choked gasp escaped Baekhyun’s lips and he felt his eyes sting.

“Stop.” Baekhyun begged.

“Don’t do this to us, Baek. Don’t leave me. I _need_ you, God I need you so much it hurts me. I can’t breathe properly without you; I can’t think straight and I… I can’t keep living like this.” Chanyeol’s voice was low and desperate, causing Baekhyun’s chest to constrict. “Please come back to me.”

Baekhyun shuddered. A fresh start, a new life… None of it was ever going to be possible, he finally admitted, because deep down none of it mattered if he didn’t have _him_ by his side. He was pathetic. He was everything he knew he himself would have frowned upon had it been anyone else. Taeyeon said it was natural when you loved someone to feel this way, but he knew these feelings, the longing and neediness he had when it came to Chanyeol, was anything _but_ natural. How could it be? 

They were wrong. Selfish. Deluded. _Weak_.

“Fine.” He agreed in defeat. “I’ll come back.”

The decision made his chest tingle in a strange way he’d never felt before. He wasn’t sure if the sensation was an omen for bad luck or a sign of good things to come, but either way he knew the impact of his decision was going to be life changing. He could feel it in his bones that this moment would change his life in some way.

Chanyeol touched their foreheads together and let out a relieved sigh. “When?”

“I’ll need to sort things here.”

“Hurry back to me.”

Baekhyun nodded. “I will.”

Pulling back Chanyeol brought his hands up and cupped the side of Baekhyun’s neck, his eyes scanning over his face. Baekhyun stared back, because he always found Chanyeol’s gaze so hypnotic, so mesmorising that he often couldn’t help _but_ stare. From that first day they’d met he’d always value Chanyeol’s eyes on him, because they’d always be a reminder that Chanyeol had taken a chance upon him, once upon a time, whether he knew that or not.

“I need you.” Chanyeol whispered.

Baekhyun smiled sadly. “I need you, too.”

Chanyeol would never love him back in the way he wanted, but he really would accept anything he could get for as long as he could get it because Taeyeon was right; love makes people do stupid, desperate things. He recognised now that love wasn’t a warm emotion but a _sickness_ that penetrated not only your heart but the very fabric of your being. He’d come to China seeking a cure, but he knew now there was none.

“You’re leaving.”

Baekhyun looked up sharply from the window he’d been staring out of since Chanyeol had left to find Taeyeon at the door, two coffees in her hands. Walking over to join him she handed him one of them and he accepted it.

“Is it that obvious?” He asked.

“Only to me because I _know_ that look. You only get it when you’re determined about something.”

“How do you know it’s not about business?”

“Because I saw Chanyeol leave.” She smiled at the way his cheeks reddened. “I also noticed him pickpocket me at the café; tell him he’s not as slick as he thinks he is. I _let_ him take the key.”

“Why?”

“Because you needed it.” She shrugged. “Since he came to visit you’ve not been the same, but I had a feeling this would happen. I saw the way you two looked at each other and it’s obvious to me you’d have cracked and gone back yourself eventually, with or without him coming here to sway you. All he’s done is speed up the inevitable.”

“I feel like a fool, Tae. Everything I have here, everything I worked so hard to accomplish… I don’t want to lose it. I feel like I’m just going back to be the same pushover I was before yet I’m helpless to stop it.”

“ _You_ are making the choice to go back, which means you do so under _your_ terms. If you don’t like the way things were before _change_ them.”

“I can’t change the fact that he’s straight.” Baekhyun reminded her.

“Well, I have a theory about that…” She grinned. “But I’m not talking about _him_ , I’m talking about the way you lived. You told me a big issue you had was your lack of purpose and direction in Seoul. Change _that_. Look what you’ve accomplished here Baek; there’s no reason you have to give it up — there’s no reason going back has to be an admittance of defeat.”

“Then what can I do?”

“You start making demands. _He_ came here looking for _you_ , _he_ wants _you_ back which means he’s going to have to be the one to make some changes, starting with giving you the freedom to follow your dreams. You aren’t just Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s sidekick. You’re Byun Baekhyun, fashion designer. _Own it_!”

He considered that and realised she was right. His business was an E-commerce one, which meant he really _could_ continue from anywhere. In fact… His dream of opening his own store one day didn’t have to be scrapped either, there was no reason he couldn’t open the store in Seoul instead. Suddenly that bleak, pathetic existence he had had before with Chanyeol in Seoul didn’t seem like a reality anymore. Taeyeon was right; this was _his_ chance to change things. To be by Chanyeol’s side and have a purpose of his own to work towards.

He bumped his shoulder against hers. “You always know the right things to say, do you know that?”

“To _you_ I do.”

He smiled sadly. Taeyeon might be good at dishing out advise to him, but it was clear she wasn’t good at following it herself. He wished he could help her, wished he could give her back _half_ the support she gave him, but she was still unwilling to open up about her own circumstance. He wouldn’t push her. Instead, Baekhyun vowed to stay by her side until she was ready and then he'd do everything in his power to give her the support she'd given him.

“I’ll miss you.” He told her honestly.

She grinned, bumping his shoulder back. “Hey now, enough of that. I’ll obviously come and visit you.”

“You better.”

“Have you forgotten who I am?” She pouted. “I’m your pushy rainbow buddy. I’m not going to let you escape me so easily. You’re family to me whether you want to be or not.”

Baekhyun laughed, the pressure of guilt over leaving Taeyeon – and the life he’d built here – lifting. He would go back and this time, he’d make sure to actually _live_ his life, instead of following in Chanyeol’s shadow.

He’d never again be the Baekhyun he was before.

**_1 Month Later_ **

“Isn’t it great to be back?” Chanyeol asked.

Baekhyun looked around his old apartment, surprised to find everything still in its place. He wheeled his suitcase in and breathed in the air, expecting to breathe in dust and a stale scent, but it was fresh and clear. In fact... Everything was clean. 

“I thought the landlord would have thrown my things out.”

“I paid the rent.”

“Why?”

Chanyeol sank down on the sofa with a sigh. “Because I knew you’d be back.”

“Presumptuous of you.”

“No, just _logical_. Granted, I figured you’d be back a lot sooner and _without_ me coming to get you…”

“You told me I wasn’t welcome back in Seoul.” Baekhyun reminded him as he too sat on the sofa.

He would never tell Chanyeol, but he was glad he’d kept his apartment for him. He loved this building, the location, the design and how familiar it was. This was home to him and he was happy to be back.

“I was angry! You know I say things I don’t mean when I’m angry! Or later least I do with _you_ , anyway. I figured you’d go to your parents for a week or so to calm down. I gave you _three_ weeks before I went there to bring you back, but when they’d said they’d not heard from you…”

Suddenly he turned towards Baekhyun, expression furious. Reaching out he grabbed his shoulders and gave him a shake.

“Do you _know_ how worried I was? I have enemies everywhere, in case you’ve forgotten. When I saw that even your passport hadn’t been used I thought you’d been captured by another gang. I spent three months torturing whoever I could get my hands on to get information about you.”

“I used a fake passport.” Baekhyun explained, prying Chanyeol’s fingers off his shoulders.

Giving him a glare, Chanyeol flopped back on the sofa. “Yeah, I figured that out _later_. I'd almost lost hope of every finding you again when one of my men was in China for a meeting and spotted the advert for your show. He rang me and I caught the first flight out I could get.”

Baekhyun looked out of his apartment windows, trying to imagine what Chanyeol had been like without him. The fact he’d gone round torturing rival Mafia out of fear he’d been kidnaped should have unnerved him, but in actuality… Baekhyun found it somewhat flattering. He really was sick for _any_ kind of affection he could get, no matter how warped.

Chanyeol suddenly reached over and grabbed him again, this time tucking Baekhyun against his side and resting his chin on top of his head. Baekhyun protested, trying to push off Chanyeol’s shoulder, but the taller man held him in place, running his hands through his hair. Eventually Baekhyun held still with a sigh, closing his eyes at the feel of Chanyeol's long fingers rubbing against his scalp.

“You know, _this_ is the reason people gossip about us.” He pointed out blandly.

“Let them. I’ll just hunt them down and cut their tongues out.”

“So violent…”

“That’s who I am.” Chanyeol shrugged, the action lifting Baekhyun’s head. “ _Let_ them say and think what they want about us. You’re my best friend and _no one_ will take you away from me. Not even _you_.”

“You’re so possessive.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Only of what’s mine.”

 _His_. Baekhyun couldn’t even bring himself to lie and deny it. Instead he let out another long sigh and buried his face into Chanyeol’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent. 

“Don’t do it again.” Chanyeol said suddenly, his deep voice vibrating against Baekhyun’s nose pressed into his throat.

“Do what?”

“Run away.”

“I… I thought it would be for the best. I don’t want to be a third wheel in your marriage.”

“You will _never_ be a third wheel to me. If anything — you're my _second_ wheel. Even Rose noticed how lost I was without you. I was a nightmare to be around without you here.”

“Does… Does she know I’m back?”

“Of course. I told her I’d do _everything_ in my power to get you back where you belong.”

Baekhyun wondered what’s Rose thought about that. She had never really seen the extent of their closeness, because Baekhyun always kept a distance in front of her, avoided her where possible. He'd never wanted her to resent him.

“I bet everyone else knows I’m back too. They’ll be talking.” He said mildly.

“It’s you and me against the world, Baek. Don’t you see that? _Let_ people talk and judge, I don’t care about what they have to say because they don’t mean anything _close_ to what you mean to me.”

“We’re not kids anymore, Yeollie. You’re getting married and you’ll start a family, it’s only natural that _they’ll_ come before me. And maybe in time I’ll find someone for me, too.”

“You mean like that _girl_?”

Baekhyun closed his eyes at Chanyeol’s bitter tone. It was typical. When Chanyeol got engaged, he was expected to just accept it and play along, but if _Baekhyun_ found someone… He had no idea what Chanyeol would do. Maybe it was because in all the years they’d known one another, Baekhyun had _never_ dated. Chanyeol had — even when he’d not been dating he’d been frequently screwing around, but for Baekhyun there had never been anyone but Chanyeol.

“Maybe.” He lied, jsut to annoy him. “Maybe someone else, I’m not sure.”

Lifting his head from atop of Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol looked down at him with a frown.

“Are you seeing someone?” He asked.

“Not _yet_. But like I said, soon. I think it’s time I found someone.”

“Don’t rush.” Chanyeol said quickly, returning his head on top of Baekhyun’s. “You have _me_ for now.”

 _For now_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set up a twitter lol. Feel free to follow; @__EX0DUS


	6. Chapter 6

[ **6.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun watched as once again Chanyeol beat the living crap out of some guy.

He’d been back in Seoul now for two weeks and things had returned to the same routine as before, with the exception of Baekhyun being busy running his online store. No longer did he spend his nights at Chanyeol’s but instead worked diligently to make his business a success, keeping in contact with his partners and ensuring things wouldn’t be impacted by his move. Hence why he was here today, because apparently in Chanyeol’s eyes this counted as ‘ _hanging out'_.

And in Chanyeol’s world, it did.

Though there had been talks of him opening his own store in Seoul… It just hadn’t happened. Chanyeol was working hard to eliminate a new threat that had appeared and because of it Baekhyun was having to hold back. But that didn’t mean he had given up; he wasn't the obedient pet he’d been before China. Never before had Baekhyun challenged Chanyeol so much, even sometimes over the small things that didn’t matter, such as where they would eat or what brand of shoes Baekhyun should buy.

But then there was the other things: no longer did Chanyeol pay his rent — _Baekhyun_ paid that, and his bills and living expenses. Baekhyun had even bought his own car, determined not to be shackled by Chanyeol’s drivers. If Chanyeol resented the change in Baekhyun he didn’t comment. If anything, Baekhyun was getting the impression Chanyeol was humouring him and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Truth be told… This scenario of freedom he’d envisioned with Taeyeon didn’t feel as satisfying as he thought it would. He just wasn’t sure _what_ was missing.

His phone pinged with a Kakao message and he immediately took it out for a distraction, his mood lifting at seeing Taeyeon’s name on the screen.

 **TAENG9** : guess who’s coming to Seoul?

 **BAEKKIE** : u I hope????

 **TAENG9** : ding ding correct! I’ll be there Thursday. I expect you show me the best gay clubs ;)

 **BAEKKIE** : consider it done~!!

Grinning like an idiot, he didn’t even mind as much when the guy Chanyeol was beating down tripped over his own feet and landed over Baekhyun’s, staining his trainers with blood. Instead he just stepped away and slid his phone back into his pocket. He caught Chanyeol watching him with a strange expression, no doubt noting Baekhyun’s suddenly upbeat mood, so he quickly schooled his face back into the blank mask he usually wore when watching things like this.

Grabbing the beaten man by the scruff of the neck Chanyeol tossed him to Jongin roughly.

“Finish up here. I’m bored.”

Jongin, all too happy to comply, began his own brand of beating. Baekhyun averted his gaze to Chanyeol, who was removing his bloody gloves and wiping at the spots of blood on his exposed arms, his shirt sleeves having been pushed up. Baekhyun eyed those muscles and swallowed thickly as he quickly diverted his gaze, his heart thumping. A lot of things may have changed, but Baekhyun’s attraction to chanyeol had not wavered.

“We done here?” He asked.

Chanyeol nodded and he tossed a cloth aside. “Yeah. I’m hungry.”

As they left the bakery and climbed into the waiting car outside, Chanyeol immediately began running through options of where they could eat.

“Actually, I have plans.” Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol turned to him with surprise. “With who you was texting earlier?”

“No, that was just Tae catching up with me.”

“Then _what_ plans?”

“I’m thinking of going location scouting this afternoon. Since the event in China my online store has been inundated with orders, so I’m eager to get the actual physical store off the ground like I’d planned.”

“Not today.”

Baekhyun had been expecting that. “You’ve said that every time. _What_ day, Chanyeol?”

“When this new threats been eliminated. Now isn’t a good time.”

“There’s never a good time.” Baekhyun snapped.

Ignoring his outburst, Chanyeol directed Minseok to take them to his apartment. Staring out of the window moodily, Baekhyun knew it was because Chanyeol didn’t want to argue with him in front of his men, because all it did was undermine his authority. Out of respect for that, Baekhyun kept his mouth shut, though his was livid at having to once again put his own career on the back burner. They walked through the lobby of Chanyeol’s apartment complex in silence and climbed into his private elevator the same way, neither one speaking. When the doors opened, Baekhyun stormed ahead, pausing when he realised _something_ was different.

Inhaling, he froze when he recognised why.

“You’re home! I thought we could…” Rose’s excited voice trailed off as she walked into the foyer and spotted Baekhyun, before her eyes darted to Chanyeol behind him.

Baekhyun noted the quick look of disappointment on her face before she quickly schooled it.

“I didn’t know you were coming round.” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun didn’t miss the glance he gave him.

“I wanted to surprise you.” She said with a tight smile. She gave Baekhyun a quick bow. “It’s great to see you again, Oppa.”

 _Oppa_. Baekhyun had always hated it when she called him that, because he didn’t deserve the familiar title or her kindness, not when he wasn’t the best friend to her finance she thought he was. How could he be, when he loved Chanyeol more than she did?

Since he’d returned from China, he hadn’t seen Rose much at all and Baekhyun suspected Chanyeol was trying to keep them apart. He no longer was all over her like a bad rash in front of him, no longer talking about her or mentioning their date nights. It was almost like she’d vanished, which was why seeing her again now made Baekhyun feel even more uncomfortable than he’d ever been before with her. He tried to hide it, but he knew Chanyeol would be able to tell. He knew him too well.

“You too.” He said, quickly bowing back.

“I’ve been practicing my cooking so I’ve prepared some food.” She said with her kind smile.

That explained the smell. Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol walked past him to give her a chaste kiss, pulling away so quickly as she leaned towards him that she startled. Baekhyun felt awkward just watching the exchange, knowing that Chanyeol had done it for his sake.

“That sounds great.” Chanyeol told her.

“I told you I’d practice for you. He eats so much doesn’t he Oppa? I’m afraid I’m going to be forever cooking for him when we’re married!” She giggled.

Baekhyun laughed along, avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes. He began to back towards the elevators, feeling incredibly third wheelish. _Again_.

“I’ll leave you both to it.” He told them.

“What? No! You can stay!” Rose said quickly. “I made a lot, since I wanted to try different recipes, so there’s plenty for everyone.”

“I have plans.” He began, but Chanyeol’s scowl made him back peddle. “And I’m not that hungry.”

“Stay. Eat.” Chanyeol ordered.

“I’m really not—”

“You’ve not eaten since breakfast. Stay and eat with us.”

It took an effort for Baekhyun to keep his expression pleasant. If they’d been alone he’d argue, tell Chanyeol to fuck off and not to order him around like one of his underlings. But Rose looked genuinely sincere in her offer and he really didn’t want to hurt her feelings or cause anymore tension than there already was.

“Ok. I’ll stay for a while.” He conceded.

Rose clapped happily. “Great! I’ll begin dishing out! Can you set the table honey?” She asked Chanyeol sweetly.

He nodded. “Of course.”

Baekhyun quickly excused himself to the bathroom and stared at his reflection. The pitiful guy staring back at him was demanding to know _why_ he was agreeing to this torture. He liked Rose as a person, really he did, so it only cut him up more that with every touch and tender word she shared with Chanyeol in front of Baekhyun, it always made him feel some bitterness and even resentment towards her. And he _hated_ that, because she truly did not deserve it.

It was _him_ who was the issue not _her_.

But stepping back into the kitchen / dining area, he froze to the spot as he watched them. She had paused in plating something to give Chanyeol a kiss and as Baekhyun watched, he returned it only too happily. But Chanyeol stiffened suddenly and pulled away when he spotted him, because Chanyeol was _always_ in tune with his surroundings. Their eyes met and Baekhyun quickly looked away. Rose giggled in embarrassment as she too finally noticed him, but didn’t seem to sense how uncomfortable the atmosphere was.

He felt like he was invading on something intimate, a moment that he would have given _anything_ to trade places with her to have. But those kind of moments weren’t for him. They would _never_ be his. There was a cold feeling in the pit of Baekhyun’s stomach, one that churned and wrenched leaving him feeling nauseous. It was so much _more_ than jealousy, this feeling of imense longing for something he could never have. It reminded him yet again that Chanyeol could _never_ be his and that this was the choice he had made; to be by his side despite that.

He forced a smile onto his lips.

“I’ll have to take a rain check on food.” He told them.

“I thought we sorted this?” Chanyeol frowned.

“I’m meeting someone.”

Rose grinned. “Is it a date?” She asked excitedly.

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed. “You never mentioned you had a _date_.”

“Well it’s only natural, it’s not like he tells you _everything_.” Rose laughed, patting his arm and leaning her head against it. “Who’s the lucky lady, Oppa?”

Baekhyun gave her a another forced smile, aware of Chanyeol watching him closely. “It’s still in the early phases…”

“Oh don’t worry, I get it — you don’t want to jinx it just yet. Well you get going, you don’t want to be late.”

Chanyeol’s frown deepened. “Was it who you was texting earlier? I thought you said it was _that_ _girl_.”

“No, leave him be, you’re not to ruin this for him.” Rose scolded Chanyeol, slapping his chest. “It’s healthy for a guy his age to date.”

Giving her a quick bow and saying a hasty goodbye to them both, studiously ignoring looking at Chanyeol, Baekhyun fled the apartment. _Who’s the lucky lady_ … He wished everyone was as naïve as Rose. No, not _everyone_ , he thought. He wished _Chanyeol_ was oblivious to his feelings. Never before had Chanyeol pulled away from Rose when kissing, normally he’d happily try to inhale her when in front of Baekhyun without any shame. But this wasn’t before, this was _now_ when Chanyeol had acknowledged how Baekhyun felt and was obviously trying to make allowances. Trying to make him feel better when in truth, it only made him feel more guilty.

Because it shouldn’t _be_ this way.

“You’re a fool.” Baekhyun told his reflection in the elevator.

A stupid, love sick fool.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he look up the number of a model he’d met in China who he knew was currently in Seoul for work. With a shaky breath he impulsively hit call, the phone answering as he left the lobby.

“Hey Baek!” The contact greeted with surprise. “Long time no speak!”

“Hey! I know, sorry, things have been so hectic. Do you want to meet up for drinks if you’re free?”

“Sure. Where do you have in mind?”

Rattling off the name of a coffee shop, Baekhyun hung up and glanced back at Chanyeol’s apartment complex. Their normal wasn’t working, not anymore.

It was time to make a change.

**_2 Months Later_ **

It was the grand opening event of Baekhyun’s new store in Seoul and he was in high spirits as he mingled with his guests. Giving Taeyeon a wave from across the room as he spotted her arriving with her date, he stopped to make small talk with a Korean designer, excitedly discussing a possible collaboration. It had only taken two months of serious hard work and an eye watering bank loan to get this store off the ground and he was happy that _finally_ , things were back on track after his detour move back to Seoul.

“Hey babe.” Sehun smirked as he came to join him.

Baekhyun smiled and leaned up to kiss his dates cheek. The designer's eyes widened.

“Aren’t you Oh Sehun?” He asked.

“Nice to meet you.” Baekhyun’s date said politely.

The designers eyes moved between them. “You make a fine pair.” He said truthfully.

“Don’t we?” Sehun grinned, resting his head on top of Baekhyun’s. “I just need to convince him to agree to be my _boyfriend_.”

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. Sehun had been pressuring Baekhyun for them to make it official, to put a label other than ‘dating’ between them for some time now. But despite how nice, handsome and _right_ for him Sehun was… He couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“He’d be a fool not to.” The designer said, pointing out the obvious. “Actually, I’m a _huge_ fan of your work. Maybe if you’re free sometime we could discuss working together…?”

Leaving Sehun to network himself, Baekhyun went to stand with Taeyeon, accepting a flute of champagne from her in a similar fashion to how they’d been in China. The contrast wasn’t lost on him and for a moment he almost believed they were there again.

“Where’s your date?” He asked.

“Mingling. I think she’s a bit star struck.” Taeyeon chuckled, looking in the direction of where her date was talking with a model excitedly.

Since arriving in Seoul, Taeyeon and Baekhyun has gone on a night out to a gay club as promised, which was where Taeyeon had met Sunny. The other girl was cute and tiny, even smaller than Taeyeon, but his friend seemed fond of her. Baekhyun had met Sunny a few times and like her nickname, she was an incredibly upbeat person, always smiling. Looking away from her date, Taeyeon scanned the store.

“Well, you’ve done it again. I knew you would.” She said.

“I’m glad you came back, Tae.”

“I’m glad I’m here too. China wasn’t the same without you.” She admitted. “There was no one to get black out drunk with me while complaining about my lack of love life. Not that we have that problem _now_ …” she hinted, gesturing to where Sehun still stood with the designer.

Baekhyun barely managed to stop his grimace. “Ah… Yeah.”

“He’s hot, Baek. I don’t even swing that way and _I_ can acknowledge that.”

“He is.”

“And he’s a model — a well sought after one too.”

“His reputation has been a major factor in getting my brand off the ground in Seoul.” Baekhyun admitted. “He was the one with all the contacts.”

“And he’s good to you.”

Baekhyun sighed. “Yeah. He is.”

“Then why the reluctance to make it official? It’s been almost two months.”

Why indeed… Baekhyun took a long drink of his champagne. After they’d met up that day at the coffee shop for a catch up, the two of them had gone on an official date a week later. Since then they’d met up regularly and Sehun had been the one who’d encouraged Baekhyun, with Taeyeon, to start pushing forward with his store. Baekhyun had gone round in circles in his mind about their situation, because the truth was — he really _didn’t_ have a logical reason not to make things official with him. Sehun really was great for him, _perfect_ even. Handsome. Attentive. Supportive. And it wasn’t a lie that he’d been a major factor for his brands success in Seoul with his connections. And _yet_ …

“It’s _Him_ , isn’t it?” She asked, a hint of disgust in her tone.

There was no love lost between Chanyeol and Taeyeon. Even though Baekhyun had stressed time and time again that she was _just_ a friend, Chanyeol was still extremely hostile with her, and in turn, Taeyeon was never one to show her belly to him either. Though she logically feared who he was, she never showed it when facing him. It only made Baekhyun respect her more.

“Let’s not call the kettle black. What about _you_ and _Sunny_?” He countered.

Taeyeon pulled a face and the two of them laughed sadly.

“We really are a messed up pair.” She said.

“Maybe that’s why we’re such good friends.”

She grinned and nudged him. “I wish you had a vagina. I’d totally date you.”

“Yeah, well if you had a penis I might have proposed already.” Baekhyun countered with a laugh.

That was the moment a familiar voice called out to him.

“There you are Oppa! Congratulations! The place looks _amazing_!” Rose gushed as she approached, dragging Chanyeol with her. “I’ve already posted about it on my social media.”

“Thanks for coming.” Baekhyun smiled, aware of Chanyeol staring daggers at where Taeyeon’s hand was resting on his arm.

When she gave it a squeeze, he resisted the urge to groan. It was always a pissing match between them.

“Ah, Rose, this is Kim Taeyeon.” He introduced.

Taeyeon gave her best smile. “It’s nice to _finally_ meet you!”

“It’s lovely to meet you, too.” Rose said, nudging Chanyeol.

“Yes.” He answered, his eyes scanning the room and ignoring Taeyeon. “Your store looks good.”

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol was feeling bitter he’d had no involvement in it and the only reason he was here at _all_ was because he’d sent the invite to both him and Rose. For her part Rose genuinely did look excited, but he also noticed she was watching him and Taeyeon almost expectantly. _Who’s the lucky lady_ … He hadn’t seen her in person since that day, since he’d been purposely keeping himself busy getting this store off the ground. He knew what she was assuming.

“ _There_ you are!” Sehun grinned as he came over, immediately throwing his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder at his other side. “Thought maybe you’d run away.”

“Hardly. This is _my_ event you know.” Baekhyun countered with a small laugh.

Sehun glanced at Chanyeol and Rose curiously.

“You’re a nice looking couple.” He commented with a smile. “I’m Oh Sehun.”

“Oh! Thank you!” Rose blushed, because Sehun really _was_ handsome and charming. “I’m Roseanne Park — but everyone calls me Rose. This is my finance, Park Chanyeol.”

Only because of his arm was around Baekhyun’s shoulders did Baekhyun feel Sehun tense.

“Of _LOEY_?” He asked.

Chanyeol nodded, his indifferent expression turning hard. “You know me?”

“Ah… Yeah. My friend works in one of your restaurants. How do _you_ know Baek?” Sehun asked.

Baekhyun wrapped his arm around Sehun’s waist. “Chanyeol is my childhood friend.” He answered.

Immediately Chanyeol’s eyes locked on Baekhyun’s arm around Sehun’s waist, narrowing as Sehun leaned into the touch. Baekhyun wasn’t an idiot — he knew Chanyeol knew about Sehun, though they’d never actually spoken about it. In fact, Chanyeol probably knew _more_ about Sehun than the guy knew about himself, but Baekhyun didn’t want to dwell on that too much. The lack of privacy Chanyeol awarded those around him was always a touchy subject between them.

“We’re _best_ friends.” Chanyeol clarified, tone cold.

“Oh! I didn’t know that! You _never_ told me.” Sehun said in joke accusation, resting his head on on top of Baekhyun’s again.

Baekhyun didn’t miss the look on Rose’s face as she studied them. She offered another smile, though this time it seemed forced, her gaze flitting between him, Taeyeon and Sehun all seemingly wrapped up together. He could only imagine what she was thinking and the thought amused him.

“How do _you_ two know each other?” She asked.

“We met in China.” Sehun said, reaching over Baekhyun to give Taeyeon a playful push. “Tae introduced us.”

“Sehun’s a _model_.” Taeyeon supplied, giving him a push back which in turn jolted Baekhyun. “When Baek was looking to advertise his brand I put them in contact.”

“And now here I am!” Sehun grinned, looking at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun returned the soft look, though he felt uncomfortable with Rose and Chanyeol watching them.

“Are you two…?” Rose began uncertainly.

“Together? Yeah. I mean, we’re _dating_. I’m waiting for him to make a honest man out of me.” Sehun teased.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and laughed along awkwardly with everyone else. He didn’t dare look at Chanyeol.

“Well, congratulations again.” Rose said, and he didn’t miss the way her voice sounded off. “Your store looks _amazing_ , Oppa.”

“Thank you.” Baekhyun told her.

“Come on. I want to mingle.” She urged, tugging Chanyeol away.

Baekhyun finally felt his body relax when they were gone and was aware of Taeyeon watching him closely. Sehun seemed oblivious, his gaze transfixed on their retreating forms.

“I can’t believe you’re best friends with LOEY’s _Park_ _Chanyeol_.” He breathed in awe. “That guys like, a billionaire.”

“He’s not.” Baekhyun snorted. 

Chanyeol wasn't a billionaire, but he was a multi-millionaire and should he sell all his assets and business capital Baekhyun supposed he might be close to being a Billionaire. _Not_ that it was relevent.

“But still… Why did you even _need_ to get a bank loan with a rich friend?”

“Because his money’s not mine.” Baekhyun pointed out.

“Right, fine I get _that_ , but then why throw a networking event? The guy could probably launch your brand international if you asked him.”

“Why would I ask him to do that?”

“Why _wouldn’t_ you? He could make your name up there with Gucci or Prada without batting an eyelid! With _his_ kind of connections you wouldn’t need to do stuff like _this_ to get your name out there. You wouldn’t need to try at all.”

“This is _my_ brand.” Baekhyun explained as patiently as he could. “ _I_ want to be the one to make it successful.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Sehun? I think I saw someone from Mulberry over by the drinks table.” Taeyeon interjected.

Sehun’s head whipped towards where she was talking about and with a hasty excuse he set off with determination in that direction. Baekhyun stared blankly after him, aware of Taeyeon giving his arm another squeeze.

“He means well.” She said gently.

“Right.”

“Baek. Come on. What’s up?”

“It’s not working out.” He said blandly.

“With Sehun? Why?”

“You _know_ why.”

She sighed. “Yeah. Well… That makes two of us then.”

“Sunny?” He guessed lightly.

“She’s cute and I get along great with her..."

“But she’s not _Her_.” He finished, pulling Taeyeon fully against his side. “Ah Tae. What are we gonna do?”

“We’re gonna keep _trying_ and not give up.” She said with determination. “We can’t end it with them Baek, it’s not cruel to keep going. Every relationship starts uncertainly, right? We have never told them we’re official — we’re just _dating_.”

“But It’s not working out.” He repeated.

“I know that. But think about it, there’s no harm in keeping at it.” She argued. “There’s no reason we can’t _keep_ dating and hope…”

“It becomes more?”

“Yeah. That’s all we _can_ do. No promises and hope it works. We will try, Baek. We owe it to ourselves to really make an effort to make it work.”

“But Tae—”

“No buts!” She cut him off. “I refuse to let us fall back into the place we were in. The new TaeHyun is all about rebuilding and that includes our messy hearts!”

“ _TaeHyun_?” He smirked.

“That’s our friendship name.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that...”

“Say you’ll try with Sehun. _Really_ try.”

Baekhyun sighed and looked across to the room to where Sehun was. He didn’t think it was fair to keep dating him when he knew his heart wasn’t in it, but what Taeyeon was suggesting also made sense. How could his heart ever learn to love someone else if he didn’t put in the effort to _make_ it happen? Love wasn’t something that was instantaneous. To Baekhyun love was like a seed, buried in your heart and nurtured with time. Chanyeol’s seed was buried deep, the roots wrapped around his heart like a vice refusing to let go.

But roots _could_ be killed — they just needed a catalyst to weaken them.

“We will try.” He agreed without conviction.


	7. Chapter 7

[ **7.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun was laying atop of Sehun on the sofa as they kissed.

With his eyes closed, he kissed him harder, hoping to feel _something_. But his heart remained unaffected, no matter how much he tried. And God, did he try, but no matter what Baekhyun couldn’t stop his heart and body wishing it was someone _else_ he was doing this with. Kissing Sehun was pleasant, but that’s about as strong an emotion as he could muster. It was really beginning to tire him. Repeating Taeyeon's words over and over in his mind and his promise to _try_ , Baekhyun let his hand slide down Sehun's chest to the waistband of his jeans, where he immediately set to work removing his belt.

"Oh, I like where this is going." Sehun breathed against his skin as he gave Baekhyun's face small kisses.

The truth was — _Baekhyun_ wasn't even sure where he was going with this. He fumbled with the belt, finally undoing it and began the task of sliding it free from the jeans loops with Sehun's assistance, the younger man lifting his hips to help. When the belt was free, Baekhyun stared down at him, suddenly unsure. Sehun smiled up at him.

"Here. Let's remove _this_ first..." Sehun said, breaking the silence.

Baekhyun straddled Sehun's hips as his date began to unbutton his shirt. Baekhyun knew what should come next — he was inexperienced but not stupid. But shouldn't he make things official with Sehun first? Was it even fair to fool around like this when Baekhyun still felt so indecisive? He stopped his thoughts quickly, instead focusing on Sehun's fingers unbuttoning his shirt. When the last one popped open he sucked in a breath as Sehun ran a finger down his sternum between his pecs, a smirk on his lips.

"Touch me." He urged Baekhyun softly.

That's when Baekhyun noticed that Sehun's shirt was also open now, though he hadn't seen him unfasten it. With hands that only shook slightly, Baekhyun let his own hands touch Sehun's exposed chest, releasing a shaky breath. Then he was tugged back down so their bare chests collided as Sehun kissed him again, this time more forcefully. Baekhyun let him, because he really wasn't sure what to do anymore. This should excite him, make him want Sehun but all it was doing was making him _think_. He didn't want to think. Thinking only made his heart scream that he was doing this with the wrong person, heedless of the fact that the _right_ person was actually the wrong one for him. Why couldn't he make his body want someone else?

Why was it so difficult to plant a new seed of love in his heart?

He had his eyes closed, once again trying his best to force himself to feel something other than _pleasant_ when he heard his front door slam. Immediately he jumped off Sehun’s chest and stood at the side of the sofa, frowning at the figure stood in his doorway. Chanyeol stared back at him.

“Jesus, knock much?” Sehun muttered, not bothering to look at who it was as he grabbed at Baekhyun’s belt buckle in an attempt to pull him back down.

Swatting him away impatiently, Baekhyun frowned at Chanyeol’s stormy expression.

“What happened?” He asked.

Chanyeol looked to where Sehun was now peaking over the couch, then he turned to Baekhyun, eyes running over his bare chest. His expression, if possible, darkened. Baekhyun averted his gaze, for some reason feeling ashamed to be found in such an obviously compromising state and quickly gestured for Sehun to button up his shirt as he did the same, his fingers scrambling to fit the buttons through the loops.

“Oh, it’s Chanyeol.” Sehun grinned, standing up with his shirt still open, completely at ease. “What brings you over?”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed. “Since when do you talk informally to me?” He demanded sharply.

“Ah, I figured since you’re friends with my _boyfriend_ we should make an effort to get closer, too.” Sehun said.

Baekhyun winced when Chanyeol’s lips curled into that cruel smile. “Is that so? Are you two official now?”

“No.” Baekhyun snapped, ignoring the look of hurt that flashed on Sehun’s face. “You should go.” He told him more softly.

“What? But tonight’s _date_ night.” Sehun whined.

“He said you should _go_.” Chanyeol told him, tone low and deadly.

Baekhyun knew Sehun got the message because the fear on his face was something he saw regularly when Chanyeol got pissed off. And Sehun was smart enough to listen. Baekhyun watched as his date scrambled for his jacket and practically flinched as he put on his shoes with Chanyeol watching. Only when the door closed behind him did Baekhyun fix Chanyeol was a glare of his own.

“What the Hell was _that_ about?”

Chanyeol moved to flop on the sofa, his lip curling in disgust when his hip knocked into Sehun’s belt buckle. Baekhyun resisted the urge to cringe. Picking it up gingerly, like it was made from shit and not real leather, Chanyeol tossed it to the corner of the room where it clanged loudly as it knocked against his bookshelf.

“God I _hate_ that guy.” Chanyeol muttered.

“Who? Sehun?” He nodded. “Why?”

“Because he’s a pretentious Prick, that’s why. You’re too good for him.”

Baekhyun scoffed as he sat next to Chanyeol on the sofa. “You do realise that’s Bullshit, right? _I’m_ the rookie designer.”

“What’s _that_ got to do with anything?” Chanyeol frowned.

“All I’m saying is Sehun is successful, talented, handsome—”

This time Chanyeol scoffed. “He’s not _that_ good-looking.”

“He’s a _model_ , Yeollie. Of course he is.”

“No, he’s not. He’s a whiny little brat.”

Seeing they weren’t going to see eye-to-eye with this, no matter how petty it seemed, Baekhyun decided to change the subject.

“You wanna tell me what’s really pissing you off?” When Chanyeol stayed quiet, he turned his body to face him on the sofa, leg propped up. “Hey? What happened?”

Chanyeol threw an arm around him and tugged him against his side, nose pressed against Baekhyun’s temple as he let out a shuddery breath.

“I lost two clubs tonight.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes. Chanyeol had been struggling for a while in a power-play with a new mafia that seemed intent on taking over. He wasn’t angry about the clubs being destroyed Baekhyun knew – but the principle behind the attack; they’d destroyed what was _his_. 

“How many dead?”

“Only about fifteen.” _Only fifteen_. Sometimes Baekhyun wondered about Chanyeol’s lack of empathy for others. “They were closed for renovation so it was the builders who were hit. I’ve got the police sniffing around me because the old ‘gas-leak’ excuse won’t cover _both_ clubs. Not when they were blown up at the _same_ time on the _same_ night across town from one another.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just… Let me hold you for a bit. I need you.”

Baekhyun let Chanyeol pull him closer, kneeling at his side so Chanyeol could bury his face into his neck. This wasn’t anything new with them – Chanyeol often held him like this, especially when something bad happened, but it was the first time he’d done so since Baekhyun had returned from China. Normally he’d be at Chanyeol’s almost _every_ night, the two of them cuddling on the sofa watching TV if Rose wasn’t around. But that of course had stopped and he hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it. His hands, which were on Chanyeol's chest to brace himself when he'd been tugged against him, fisted his shirt and he repressed a shiver as he felt Chanyeol’s lips against the back of his ear. This feeling... _This_ wasn't pleasant.

It was a delicious torture. 

“I _hate_ rebuilding.” Chanyeol spoke lowly, almost to himself. “Those Bastards are going to pay. I’m going to _make_ them pay. I’m gonna fucking _kill_ them.”

“I know.” Baekhyun soothed, running his fingers through his friend’s slightly coarse hair.

He knew how they must look to others, but while their touches had taken on a different meaning to Baekhyun, to Chanyeol… They were purely platonic. He knew Chanyeol was attached to him but it was nothing more than that. While over the years Baekhyun’s attachment had turned into a romantic one, Chanyeol had never, _ever_ faltered. Even now, when they were wrapped up together, Baekhyun knew Chanyeol wasn't feeling what he was. His heart wasn't racing, his skin wasn't tingling where they were pressed together, breathing uneven, chest tight, a warm curling in his lower stomach...

“You know. It’s doing _this_ kind of stuff that makes people talk about us.” Baekhyun said suddenly, his voice uneven even to his own ears.

Chanyeol pulled his head back to look up at him. “I told you I don’t give a fuck what anyone else says. _Let_ them talk. Let them _all_ fucking say what they want – _I_ need you and that’s all that matters.”

Logically Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol’s words came from his possessive need to claim and own… But once again he was reminded that this wasn’t enough. That this just wasn’t _fair_.

“We can’t do this stuff anymore, Yeollie.” He said, removing his hands from his hair and pulling back.

Chanyeol clung to him. “Why not?”

“Because you’re getting _married_.” Baekhyun snapped, shoving away from him harshly and putting space back between them. “For fuck sake, you’re going to have a _wife_ soon! You should be going to your _wife_ for comfort, not your best friend!”

“Why not?” Chanyeol repeated again stubbornly.

“Because it’s not fair to _me_! When you touch me like that… It messes with me.”

Realisation dawned in Chanyeol’s eyes. “Does it… Does it turn you on?”

“What the Hell do _you_ think?” Baekhyun muttered, completely mortified now. “Look. I get you want things back to normal when you ordered me back here, but the truth is… I can’t _be_ like that anymore, Yeol. You can’t just touch me and hold me like you did because I’ll always want more.”

“…More?”

Baekhyun averted his eyes. “It makes me want to crawl onto your lap and shove my tongue in your mouth.”

“I’d rather you did _that_ than push me away.” Chanyeol said quietly.

Baekhyun’s eyes slammed back to him, widening as he forced himself to repeat what Chanyeol had just said a few times in his head to process it. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled to form an answer. 

“Wha—Wait, _no_.” He laughed awkwardly. “You don’t know what you’re saying—”

Suddenly Chanyeol moved with the fluid and speed of someone trained to fight. He had Baekhyun pinned under him before Baekhyun could even suck in a breath to protest, hands holding Baekhyun's shoulders down. Baekhyun stared up at him, mouth falling open as his body became hyper aware of every point they were touching. Hands on shoulders, chest grazing his, legs on either side of his hips pinning him in place. He almost forgot to breathe as his body became heated. 

“ _Don’t_ tell me I don’t know what I’m saying. You think I haven’t thought about this?”

“About what?” Baekhyun asked, voice quiet even to his own ears.

“Letting you kiss me.”

“I don’t… _Why_ would you…”

“It’s simple, really.” Chanyeol said so casually he could’ve been discussing the stock prices. “I know you’ve been avoiding me, making excuses as to why you can’t be alone with me and I’ve given the matter a lot of thought and come up with a solution: _I_ give _you_ something you want, and _you_ give _me_ something I want.”

"What I want?" Baekhyun echoed dumbly. “You mean kissing.” 

“Yeah.”

“You’re not serious, are you?” Chanyeol was staring down at him and it was clear he was. Baekhyun groaned. “I don’t want _pity_ kisses from you Yeol, Jesus! This isn’t one of your negotiations, this isn’t how _friendships_ work! How pathetic do you think I am?”

“What’s pity got to do with anything? It’s a fair deal; I get to touch and hug you like I normally do and you can kiss me, if you like.”

“If I like.” Baekhyun deadpanned, shaking his head. “This is crazy. You’re not attracted to men.”

“No, I’m not. But you’re not _just_ a guy to me, Baek. If it’s _you_ I don’t mind.”

“It doesn’t work that way. Kissing someone you’re not attracted to – especially someone of the opposite sex – is bound to disgust you and make you feel uncomfort—”

Baekhyun’s words were cut off as Chanyeol slammed his lips down against his.

They were soft, plump and so warm and wet and… Baekhyun’s brain shut down completely as a startled gasp escaped him. He wasn’t prepared for how much it would shake him. When he had imagined their first kiss, it had been slow, a thorough exploration full of love. But the reality was – Baekhyun lost it. He poured everything into the kiss; everything he couldn’t say, couldn’t do, everything he _felt_. He pried Chanyeol’s lips open and thrust his tongue inside, finding his tongue and sucking on it desperately. His hands grabbed Chanyeol's hips, dragging them down on top of his harder and grinding them, the hot spark of pleasure making him moan. He ached, he hurt — but this time the feeling was so _good_ he didn't want it to end. This was how it should be, this feeling was everything that was missing when he'd been with Sehun. He wanted this – all those years spent watching and _yearning_ had left him feeling like a dam had broken within him the moment their lips had touched. He needed this. Needed _him_.

But it wasn’t right.

A half moan, half sob escaped his throat as he pulled back. Chanyeol _hadn’t_ kissed him back, not once. He’d just taken it, stiff as a board above him and completely unresponsive, even when Baekhyun had rubbed their groins together. Baekhyun was hard, harder than he'd ever felt before but Chanyeol... _Wasn't_. This wasn’t what Baekhyun wanted – even in his state of desperation at _finally_ getting to taste Chanyeol, he’d known that deep down it wasn’t _right_. Opening his eyes he stared up at his best friend, expecting to see disgust. But Chanyeol looked down at him, expression somewhat bewildered and tender. He moved the arm framing Baekhyun so he could cup his cheek.

“See?” He said with a small smile. “You enjoyed it, right?" Baekhyun couldn't even bring himself to lie and deny it. How could he? So instead he remained silent. "There's no need to pretend and hold back for prides sake, not when we both can get something from this.”

Baekhyun blinked, stunned. It wasn’t like he’d expected Chanyeol to instantly turn gay and begin to want him back from just _one_ kiss, and yet… His heart sank. Because somewhere deep down he _had_ wanted that. But this wasn’t a book or a movie — it just didn’t work like that in reality. One kiss wouldn't change things, even though it had completely shaken Baekhyun to the core. Chanyeol's hands on his cheek slid lower so he was gripping Baekhyun's neck lightly, fingers pressed against his pulse point.

"You're mine." He said softly. 

Then he lowered his full weight down on Baekhyun, hands sliding into his hair as he buried his face into his neck and inhaled deeply, body going lax.

Baekhyun shuddered beneath him. “Yeollie… We can’t—”

“ _Don’t_.” Chanyeol interrupted, lips once again on Baekhyun’s skin. “I won’t lie to you and pretend that I’m turned on by you kissing me, because I’m not. I’ll _never_ be, because I just… I just don’t _feel_ that way. But I love you, Baek. So much that it scares me, because out of everyone in this entire world there’s only _you_ I love like this, only _you_ I'm like this with."

“Rose—”

“It would break her if she knew. I gave it so much thought while you were in China. I figured that with you gone, these feelings would shift to her, that I’d _finally_ be able to give her the part of me you stole. But you refuse to give it back. Fuck. I don’t even _want_ it back.” Chanyeol said bitterly.

Baekhyun closed his eyes as Chanyeol’s arms moved under him, cupping his shoulder blades and pulling him even closer. His weight on top of Baekhyun smothered him and restricted his air flow, but it was the kind of torture that was so delicious that it almost hurt, because it felt so _good_.

“She suspects something.” Chanyeol said quietly. “When you left that day I stopped making an effort to be civil and avoided her, because it was too much to try and _pretend_ to be the guy she thinks she knows when I was so pissed off. Then when I realised you weren’t just hiding at your parents, that you really _were_ gone, I was so _miserable_. I drank hard, fought with anyone I could get my hands on and poured everything into my work to try and forget you, but I just couldn’t.”

Chanyeol laughed bitterly and nuzzled his face deeper against Baekhyun’s throat, inhaling deeply. Then he let out a long sigh.

“After about a month of oblivion I knew things wouldn’t get better until you were back, so I became _obsessed_ with finding you. I didn’t eat, didn’t sleep… Could barely even stand to speak to anyone because I wanted to tear the world apart. A few times I was forced to see Doc as my body gave out and I almost broke up with Rose because she just _couldn’t_ understand. She thought I was acting ridiculous, that you being gone shouldn't be such a big deal..." Chanyeol's voice had lowered in anger. "How could I explain to her that without you _that’s_ who I am? That without you none of it meant anything anymore? She wouldn't understand. _No one_ understands."

Baekhyun closed his eyes to keep his stinging eyes from overflowing as he listened.

“I’d told her during one of our arguments that I’d bring you back, that I’d _never_ stop searching and she had looked so confused. You know what she told me? To give up on you! As though I can! She _knew_ how important you are to me, how dare she suggest that?" Chanyeol raged, before dragging in another deep breath and softening his tone. "But then you came back and everything is right again. I think now she understands just how _deep_ our bond goes. There’s no _me_ without _you_. I can't live without you."

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to even say to all of that. _Sorry_? Because he wasn’t. Baekhyun’s thirst for Chanyeol’s affection was a sickness, an illness that had penetrated deep into his very core. He was perversely pleased to hear how Chanyeol thought of him, that he loved him – at least in _some_ way – more than he even did Rose. That Chanyeol had been, if possible, in an even _worse_ state than Baekhyun had been in those months in China.  
  
He knew he should be concerned that Rose now knew how messed up the two of them were, but he was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything but the man pressing him into the sofa. When Chanyeol was with him in moments like this, Baekhyun's world, though filled with numerous people, would always be shrouded in darkness, the sole spotlight on Chanyeol. Because there was no Baekhyun without Chanyeol, either. 

“Hey Yeol?” He asked, breaking the silence that had fallen. Chanyeol hummed sleepily in response. “You’re kinda heavy.”

Chanyeol chuckled and rolled them so Baekhyun was the one laying on _his_ chest. But his arms wrapped back around him, pulling him close again and Baekhyun smiled as he snuggled against him contently. What they were… It couldn’t be simply explained as friendship. Their relationship wasn’t just a feeling — it was so much _more_ than that. Even if Baekhyun hadn't been in love with Chanyeol, he knew he'd still be by his side. Chanyeol's roots had wrapped around his heart so tightly that he wasn't sure anymore that he'd survive if they unraveled. Moments like this… It was easy to pretend that everything was alright as long as Chanyeol held him close. That _they_ would be alright.

Their love… It wasn't normal. Not one bit.


	8. Chapter 8

[ **8.** **Baekhyun** ]  


When Baekhyun said he’d try with Sehun… He meant it. After the kiss with Chanyeol they’d not repeated if it, because clarity was hindsight and after giving it thought away from Chanyeol, Baekhyun had realised that despite Chanyeol’s assurances... It just _wouldn’t_ work. How could he be intimate with who he wants so desperately, knowing that person will never be his? The answer was — he couldn't. So he’d thrown everything into his time with Sehun, hoping things between them could change for the better. They’d gone on countless dates even doubled at times with Taeyeon and Sunny. But it soon became apparent that it just wasn’t meant to be.

“Are you coming to my fashion show?” Sehun asked Baekhyun one night as they watched a movie on Sehun’s sofa.

“Yeah.”

“I gave you a plus one, too.” Sehun pushed.

“I know, but like I said I don’t need it. Tae already has her own ticket, so I’ll just go with her.”

“Well… I was thinking you could bring your friend, Park Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun stiffened. “He’s not into fashion shows.”

“But he’ll come if _you_ ask him to, right?”

“Probably, but I’m not going to ask him.”

“Why not?”

Baekhyun sighed and sat up from where he’d been laying against Sehun to pause the movie. He felt a sudden overwhelming sense of exhaustion. Turning to face him he let the displeasure show on his face.

“Stop it.”

Sehun’s own expression was innocent as he too sat up. “Stop what?”

“You _know_ what. Ever since you found out Chanyeol is my friend you’ve been hounding me to invite him places and using his name.”

“What? No I haven’t...”

“Don’t deny it. I’ve read the articles.” Baekhyun accused. “You keep name dropping him in interviews and to designers.”

Sehun at least had the nerve to look a little sheepish, but that only pissed Baekhyun off further, because the few times it had happened, he had been lying to himself and Chanyeol that Sehun wasn’t doing it intentionally. But now he knew for sure that was the case. Even when Chanyeol was a complete and utter dick to Sehun — which he was the very few times they had met in person — Sehun was always determined to try and charm him and Baekhyun was determined to defend him when Chanyeol pulled a face.

“Look, I get _you_ don’t want to use his name to get further in your career, but what’s the harm in _me_ doing it?” Sehun had the shame to ask.

“Because it’s beginning to piss him off! Do you know how many times I’ve had to apologise to him on your behalf?”

Sehun frowned. “He’s annoyed?”

“Of course he is, and Chanyeol isn’t someone you _want_ to annoy.”

“Then the rumours about him are true?”

Baekhyun looked away in frustration. Although in the Underground circles it was well known, to everyone else it was just speculation that Chanyeol’s LEOY empire was just a pretty front for his criminal activities. In fact, to most of the public he was seen has a success story, someone to be admired. Baekhyun refused to take the bait because it felt like Sehun was always trying to know more about Chanyeol. Taking a moment to actually think about it… Baekhyun realised Chanyeol was usually the focus of most of their conversations. There had even been times when they were together that Sehun would ignore Baekhyun completely to try sweet talk Chanyeol, to no avail. Now Baekhyun felt shame for constantly overlooking those times.

He forced himself to take a calming breath as he felt a sudden burst of anger.

“Look, I can’t do this.” Baekhyun muttered as he stood up from Sehun’s sofa. “I’m tired of you trying to use my friends for your advantage. We’re over.”

“Jesus Baek, you’re calling it off over something as petty as _that_?”

“It’s _not_ petty!”

“Look, I’ll stop name dropping him! Problem solved.”

But the problem _wasn’t_ solved. Sehun was good looking, attentive and when he wasn’t pissing him off and name-dropping his friends to get ahead, he was actually a great guy. Putting aside Sehun’s fixation with Chanyeol’s status, things _still_ weren’t working between them. Even doing innocent things such as cuddling on the sofa didn’t feel _right_. He couldn’t help it. Baekhyun always found himself acting, putting on a smile, pretending to be someone he wasn’t when in actuality, every touch, however innocent, from Sehun just felt _wrong_.

His earlier anger had drained away, leaving him feeling just utterly drained.

“I’m sorry.”

“Wha… Come on Baek. Don’t do this.” Sehun pleaded, standing up and trying to grab his hands, but Baekhyun jerked away from him. “I thought we were getting along.”

“We are — we _were_. But I’m just not feeling the spark between us.”

Sehun stared at him hard. “Is there someone else?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun admitted, since there was no point in denying it.

“God, I should have seen this coming.” Sehun laughed without humour. “Everyone kept saying you were just using me as a rebound since it’s been three months and you _still_ refuse to put a label on us, but I figured it didn’t matter so long as you _eventually_ fell for me. But there was never any hope for me, was there?"

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise to me. I’m beginning to think _I’m_ not the one getting the worst out of this.”

Baekhyun just nodded, not wanting to get into it anymore. So instead he grabbed his jacket and left Sehun’s apartment, trying to find it in him to feel bad about what had just happened. Although he really _had_ liked Sehun and had wanted it to work, he could see now that although Sehun claimed to have liked Baekhyun too, it seems Sehun had been more interested in getting closer to Chanyeol. So Baekhyun felt nothing but relief. He knew his own inability to get closer to Sehun had begun to spiral downhill the moment Chanyeol had kissed him. But he also wasn’t completely blinded. That kiss didn’t mean anything — Chanyeol was possessive, protective, and _fond_ of him, but that kiss hadn’t been one of love.

Chanyeol had been making a point, using it to get his own way. But wasn’t Baekhyun just as guilty for having enjoyed it so much?

Without really thinking about it he found himself inside of the private elevator to Chanyeol’s apartment, his eyes reflected back at him in the mirror sullen even to him. Stalking into Chanyeol’s apartment, he froze when he spotted two figures on the sofa. Rose was laughing at something and Chanyeol leaned down to her and pressed a kiss against her smiling mouth. Rose returned it eagerly, arms wrapping around Chanyeol’s shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Baekhyun cringed as an ugly feeling in his stomach spread up to his chest, physically causing him a jolt of pain as it squeezed his heart, and he must have made some kind of noise because suddenly Chanyeol looked up and their eyes locked over Rose’s shoulder. It wasn’t just Baekhyun’s imagination that a strange expression crossed Chanyeol’s face, an emotion he couldn’t identify, before it was replaced with his usual mask.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you.” Chanyeol said, pulling away from Rose to stand up.

Rose flushed prettily and gave Baekhyun a smile. “Hey Oppa! Isn’t tonight your date night?”

The room fell silent after her words and Baekhyun averted his gaze, suddenly feeling like an idiot. Why had he come here? Of course they both knew tonight was his date night with Sehun — he _always_ made a point to announce it, more so that Chanyeol wouldn’t come round unannounced and Sehun made a fool of himself which always pissed Chanyeol off. It was only natural that Rose and Chanyeol would meet themselves, to touch kiss, to do _more_.

Because they were a couple. Because they were going to get married. Because they were in _love_.

“Sorry. I’ll, uh. I’ll call you tomorrow, Yeol.”

He began to turn away stiffly when he heard footsteps rushing towards him. Chanyeol grabbed his shoulder and turned him, eyes scanning Baekhyun’s face a moment before his expression turned hard.

“Can we take a rain check, Rose?” He asked coldly.

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol was trying to put on his nice guy act in front of her, but for whatever reason he hadn’t fully accomplished it. Behind Chanyeol, Baekhyun could see Rose’s confused expression and he couldn’t blame her. Chanyeol was usually so careful not to let himself slip in front of her.

“Yeah of course.” She said, stroking his arm as she passed him on the way to the door, casting Baekhyun a quick glance.

But Chanyeol didn’t even acknowledge her, his entire focus on Baekhyun. Behind him he could hear Rose putting on her shoes and getting her jacket and finally, the soft click of the elevator doors closing behind her. Then Chanyeol moved, hands sliding from Baekhyun’s shoulders to his neck so he was gripping his jaw, angling his face up so he was forced to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked seriously.

“I just broke up with Sehun.”

“I thought you said you weren’t official?”

“We _weren’t_. But now we’re not _anything_.”

Chanyeol nodded, eyes still scanning Baekhyun’s face. Then his face lit up in a smile and he lead Baekhyun towards the sofa he and Rose had just been on and pushed him down.

“I’ll get you a drink.” He said, walking to the kitchen, entirely too cheerful for Baekhyun’s liking.

But a smiling Chanyeol really was such a rare, mesmerising thing that Baekhyun watched him, unable to help his gaze as it roamed over his best friend, eyes drinking in his fill.

He took in Chanyeol’s side profile, his strong jaw and long, straight nose with his wide, plump lips curled into a smile. Eyes, which always appeared so wide and innocent to Baekhyun, though he also knew how cruelly they _could_ look, especially when Chanyeol’s brows lowered over them into a menacing scowl, were currently slanted with his smile. Hair messy on his head, clearly left to air dry after his shower earlier in the day, all wild and fluffy about his head in a way only those close to him ever got to see.

Allowing his gaze to roam further down, Baekhyun admired Chanyeol’s thick neck leading onto powerful, wide shoulders and a chest he knew first hand was firm and hard with the muscles he’d built. And those _arms_ … They were arms that could beat a man to a bloody pulp and hold Baekhyun so tenderly. Long, strong powerful legs and feet bare, another sight few saw. Because a Chanyeol dressed casually in sweatpants and a T shirt with bare feet wasn’t the norm; usually Chanyeol wore suits. But Baekhyun — and, he admitted grudgingly, _Rose_ — saw him at his most defenseless.

He swallowed thickly and looked away, staring down at his hands. It wasn’t like Chanyeol’s appearance had overly changed. Baekhyun had always been attracted to him, so much so that his heart would pick up when he saw him, but recently his heart didn’t just pick up — it thumped _painfully_ with so much longing that sometimes he wondered whether dying from unrequited love was a possibility. it certainly felt like it at times.

“Here.” Chanyeol said, handing him a glass of wine.

Baekhyun took it, eying Chanyeol suspiciously as he took the seat next to him.

“Why are you so damn cheerful?” He demanded.

“Because I knew it was only a matter of time before you dumped that brat.”

“And _that_ makes you happy?”

Chanyeol shrugged. “I knew he wasn’t right for you, I said that before. It sucks you’re upset and ordinarily I’d be preparing to go break anyones face for doing that to you, but I won’t lie and pretend I’m _not_ happy it’s happened. Because I am.”

“God you’re weird.” Baekhyun muttered. “You’re supposed to be _comforting_ me after a breakup not fucking _rejoicing_ it.”

“I got you wine and I’m fully prepared to discuss in absolute _detail_ what an asshole he was. Isn’t that what friends do?”

Baekhyun took a long drink of his wine contemplating that. It’s what he and Taeyeon had done — albeit half-heartedly because they’d still been in love with the object of their hurt— but Baekhyun had never ever done anything like this with Chanyeol before. Usually it was Chanyeol doing the breaking up and he’d never been bothered by any of them before, not in the slightest. He wasn’t the type to allow himself to get emotionally invested in others, even those he was supposedly dating. Now if it was _Rose_ he broke up with… Baekhyun forced himself not to think that. They were engaged and they’d get married, that was inevitable at this point. Clearly _she_ was the exception to the others that Chanyeol had dated and the thought of his friend pining after her _if_ they broke up made Baekhyun feel uncomfortable.

Because he didn’t want to be reminded of the extent of what Chanyeol felt for her. The type of feelings he could _never_ have for him.

“So, what happened?” Chanyeol asked, tone still upbeat.

“Nothing. We had an argument and called it off.”

“Who? You or him?”

“Me.”

Chanyeol nodded. “He did always seem more into you than you were into him.”

“I _was_ into him.” Baekhyun protested.

“Right, but not as much as _he_ was into _you_. Isn’t that why you never went official with him?”

“Who knows? Maybe I just wanted to use him.” Baekhyun admitted, taking another long drink.

“For what?” At Baekhyun’s bland look Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrowed. “You mean _sex_.”

 _To try get over you_. The truth would never be admitted by Baekhyun because he still had his pride. Not wanting to clarify he’d never actually _had_ sex with Sehun, because he knew it was weird he’d never actually had sex with someone he’d been dating for almost three months, Baekhyun just shrugged.

“I guess I’m not ready for commitment.” He said instead.

“Jesus, who’d have thought? Usually it’s _me_ that’s the commitment-phobe.” Chanyeol said with a forced laugh. “Since when did we swap roles?”

“Since _you_ decided to settle down.”

Chanyeol pulled a face. “So what now?”

“I’ll find someone else.” Baekhyun said, ignoring the way his stomach churned at the thought.

“So soon?”

“Why not? I’m young and healthy. I figure I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” He flashed Chanyeol a grin.

But his friend was no longer smiling. “You don’t have to do that, Baek.”

“Do what? Date? Why not? It’s normal for guys my age.”

“I’m not talking about _dating_.” Chanyeol explained. “I… I told you I don’t mind. When you kiss me.”

Baekhyun froze with the wine glass on the way to his lips and quickly forced the glass back into his lap and focused on it, running his finger along the top to distract himself with how those words made him feel.

“Who’s said anything about kissing?”

Chanyeol made a choking sound. “You mean you actually _fucked_ that skinny, lanky little—”

“Jesus Yeol calm down. What the Hell do you think happens between people who date? It’s not like _you_ haven’t done it before.”

“But that’s _me_.” Chanyeol frowned. “I just didn’t… I figured you were just fooling around with him a little. Some kissing and heavy petting.”

Baekhyun hated that Chanyeol had assumed right. Of _course_ he had. Didn’t he know Baekhyun better than anyone? But now that he’d dug himself into this hole he knew he couldn’t back out of it so easily. So what if Chanyeol assumed he’d been fucking Sehun? Maybe it was better if he did, since it wouldn’t make Baekhyun look as pathetic as he knew he really was.

“It’s no big deal, Yeol.”

“But isn’t he your _first_? How can you say that’s not a big deal?”

“He’s not my first.” Baekhyun said with another sharp laugh, the lie slipping from his lips before he could even think it through. “There were _others_ in China.”

Chanyeol made another choking sound. “I didn’t… I didn’t even _realise_...”

“You thought I was still a virgin pining over you?” Baekhyun teased lightly, the words falling hollow. “You’re not _that_ special.”

Once again he was on his back, pinned by Chanyeol before he realised his friend had even moved. He frowned when he realised the motion had made him spill his wine, the red liquid splattered over his neck and shoulder, soaking into his T-shirt. The empty glass rolled to the ground.

“What the—Red wine _stains_ and this is my favourite shirt, you asshole!” Baekhyun huffed in annoyance, since he was wearing a light grey shirt which undoubtably was now ruined. “Your sofa is going to need reupholstering too.”

“Fuck my sofa.” Chanyeol snapped. “And fuck your shirt. What the _Hell_ did you just say to me?”

Baekhyun blinked up at Chanyeol, surprised to see genuine anger in his friends expression. He was seriously pissed.

“Wha… What did I say?” Baekhyun backtracked, trying to remember what he might have said which caused Chanyeol’s reaction.

“You said I wasn’t special to you.” Chanyeol grit out.

“Why… Why does it matter?” He asked, curious how his joking could have pissed off Chanyeol so much.

Chanyeol’s eyes darkened and he bent down, burying his face against Baekhyun’s neck and actually inhaled.

“It matters.” Chanyeol said. “Because you’re _mine_. I want to be special to you.”

Holding perfectly still, Baekhyun closed his eyes as Chanyeol wrapped his arms behind him pulling him so close their legs tangled together. This wasn’t even anything new between them. Despite his scary persona and job, Chanyeol had always seemed to cling to him, as though he couldn’t help himself and had done since middle school. But they hadn’t been this way since _that_ kiss, Baekhyun had been making sure of it. So he tried to pull away.

“Yeol…”

“Why do you keep protesting?” Chanyeol demanded against the side of his neck that wasn’t sticky with wine, tightening his hold a fraction. “We used to do this all the time and it’s _never_ bothered you before.”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know that?”

Chanyeol pulled back to look at him. “ _This_ turns you on?” He asked with a hint of surprise.

“Jesus, Yeol. You’re practically laid on top of me snuggling against me. How _else_ am I supposed to feel?”

“I dunno. It just feels nice to me, comfortable.” Chanyeol said, seemingly genuinely confused.

“That’s because you’re not attracted to me like _that_. Imagine I was Rose underneath you right now. How would you feel?”

Baekhyun hated using that as an example, but he could see Chanyeol was beginning to get it.

“I’d want to jump her.” He said bluntly.

Baekhyun felt like his heart had been stabbed, but forced a shaky smile to his lips. “ _Exactly_. So if you don't mind—”

Chanyeol ducked down and pressed his lips against his, cutting off his words with that quick kiss causing Baekhyun to jump under him at the brief contact.

“What the Hell…”

“I told you I didn’t mind it. Kissing you.” Chanyeol told him.

“ _I_ mind.” Baekhyun whispered back, his body practically vibrating.

“Why? We kissed before and it was fine.”

But it _hadn’t_ been fine. It had ruined Baekhyun entirely, messed with his head in completely new ways and made it near enough impossible to even try to _pretend_ with Sehun. Because he’d finally had something to compare too and he knew, without a doubt, kissing anyone _but_ Chanyeol would never _ever_ be enough for him.

“No.” Baekhyun said quietly. _It wasn’t fine_ …

“Well _I_ want to.” Chanyeol suddenly declared, and once again brought their lips together.

Baekhyun gasped into his mouth then groaned, because really, he was only so strong and this temptation, this feeling… He had been craving it so badly that sometimes it caused his chest to actually ache.

So he kissed him back, sucking Chanyeol’s tongue and literally plundering his mouth as though it was his lifeline. Chanyeol tasted of the wine they had been drinking, fruity and crisp, so delicious that Baekhyun hummed in satisfaction as he licked at the inside of Chanyeol’s mouth to get a deeper taste, the warm press of their lips making Baekhyun shiver in satisfaction. His hands gripped at Chanyeol’s hips, tugging him down harder on him as he squirmed under that tall, strong body, the friction making his skin tingle. He was lost in that feeling until his brain began to function, slowly taking account of what was happening — or rather, what was _not_ happening.

Because once again, Chanyeol remained completely unresponsive, simply _allowing_ it which was a like a bucket of ice water to his burning desire. He wrenched their mouths apart and shoved at Chanyeol’s chest in frustration.

“Stop it!” He ordered breathlessly.

Chanyeol stared down at him, a somewhat amused expression on his face, lips still wet and red from the force of Baekhyun’s kisses.

“But you like it.” He said simply.

That only pissed Baekhyun off further.

“So? I also like loads of other guys who are straight, but they’d never let me throw myself at them.”

Chanyeol’s brows furrowed. “What _other_ guys?”

But Baekhyun was having difficulty keeping up with this line of reasoning he’d thought up, because it didn’t even make sense to him _why_ he’d said it. All he’d known was that he didn’t want Chanyeol to keep _forcing_ himself to do this when it was clear he didn’t like it.

“You know, celebrities. _Male_ celebrities.”

“But you don’t _love_ them.” Chanyeol argued with amusement, leaning back down to cuddle with him again, head under Baekhyun’s chin. “And they don’t love you. But _I_ do.”

“God you’re so difficult sometimes.” He muttered as he brought his arms back around his best friend.

He was sticky from dried wine and feeling completely defeated, his emotions and mind a complete clusterfuck. But when Chanyeol held him like this, when they had moments like this, he couldn’t help but feel completely content because nothing felt more right than being in Chanyeol’s arms. He didn’t love him that way… But he cared about him. And sometimes that was enough for Baekhyun.

Chanyeol grinned against his skin. “But you love me anyway.”

And goddamit if that wasn’t the painful truth.


	9. Chapter 9

[ **9.** **Baekhyun** ]  


The restaurant was fancy, way too upscale to what Baekhyun would have ever willingly chosen and it made him feel so out of place that the delicious meal in front of him wasn’t even tempting. He poked at his food with his fork idly as he listened to the talk of the table half-heartedly. He and Chanyeol were sat at the window, though the placement had their back to the glass which annoyed them both, though for very different reasons. Baekhyun because he didn’t have the distraction of the street outside to keep him occupied and Chanyeol because he hated having his back exposed.

The restaurant was empty, completely booked out for their party alone and the weirdness of seeing so many other empty tables didn’t help Baekhyun’s discomfort. He was sat next to Chanyeol, with Rose to his friends other side, the rest of the table made up of a few of Chanyeol’s closest men along with one of Chanyeol’s business partners Ravi and his close men, a small gang that Chanyeol had taken over years ago and that were completely loyal to him. But the dinner was a somewhat tense affair as the men argued about the direction of Ravi’s club, VIXX, that he was planning to open and whether the location he’d chosen would be profitable or not. Jongdae, one of Chanyeol’s men, was the most vocal, insisting that the street the plot Ravi had bought was on wasn’t a great place to open a club. Baekhyun zoned them out mostly because he simply wasn’t _interested_.

“Don’t like your food?” Chanyeol suddenly asked lowly in his ear, causing Baekhyun to startle and shiver.

“No. It’s fine.” He whispered back, forcing a forkful into his mouth and chewing it tastelessly.

He had no idea _why_ he’d agreed to come to this at all, other than because Rose has asked him so damn sweetly that he’d felt a Bastard for saying no. It was her first-time meeting Chanyeol’s men — and business partners, and she was clearly nervous and wanted a familiar face. Baekhyun hadn’t had the heart to say no, in part because he felt sorry for her and also because he felt awkward. How could he not, when he'd kissed her fiancé twice now? Chanyeol would never have usually arranged this gathering, but she’d been eager to learn more about her future husbands’ business and this was as tame as Chanyeol _could_ show her, since Ravi’s men were mostly harmless. Their interests lied in underground gambling, their club an innocent face as a cover for the gambling empire they’d organise from behind its doors. That was considered tame in comparison to everything Chanyeol dabbled in.

“You should eat more.” Chanyeol murmured again, his breath warm in Baekhyun’s ear. “And don’t drink too much wine.”

Baekhyun flashed him a glare and scooted his chair away from Chanyeol petulantly as he purposely took a long drink of his wine. Chanyeol narrowed his eyes back but didn’t comment. They ate in silence until the conversation opposite began to get a bit heated.

“ _Enough_.” Chanyeol said, his voice calm but commanding. “I said no talk of business tonight.”

The men all grumbled their apologies and Baekhyun wondered again what Rose must think to all of this. Surely she would see this wasn’t the usual business dynamic, considering her own father was a businessman. Did she sense though that they were all Mafia — sans Baekhyun of course. Maybe, maybe not. Did it matter if she did or not? Personally, Baekhyun thought Chanyeol should just come clean to her, since they were going to be married, but Chanyeol seemed intent to keep her in the dark to his shadier business dealings. Baekhyun took another long drink of his wine. It was none of his business anyway he reminded himself. He knew what Chanyeol’s men were thinking; _why is_ he _even here_? He was a fashion designer, sure he was Chanyeol’s best friend but he was in no way way apart of their world despite Chanyeol often bringing him along to their meetings.

Baekhyun eyed the people around the table and felt his heart sink. No matter how much Chanyeol kept Rose in the dark she would _never_ be an outsider... Not like _he_ was.

He wished he hadn’t been so hasty to end things with Sehun, or at least, he wished he’d had better success finding someone _else_ to date again. Taeyeon was in China for work, having broken things off with Sunny, and Baekhyun hadn’t found someone who he could date despite his declaration to Chanyeol a few nights ago that he’d find someone. So, he had no excuses for not attending these kinds of things. Baekhyun was reaching for his wine glass again when he heard the screeching of tyres behind him on the road. Before he could even turn his head to assess what was happening — car accident? — the men sat opposite him all began to shout and move at once.

“Get _down_!” was yelled from different voices, and there was a distinct element of alarm in the air at the shouted order.

Baekhyun lost the air in his lungs as he was tackled to the ground roughly from his left side, his body slamming and colliding with the empty chair to his right painfully, taking it to the ground with him as he landed in a tangle of limbs, a heavy shape above him pressing him to the ground. His chin collided with the tile and his nose throbbed from the impact as he literally faceplanted the ground, having had no time to brace himself for the landing. Above him the table was flipped, the contents scattering along the ground and he felt as debris rained down on him, the food he'd been picking at now launched over his suit. He was half hidden behind the wall under the window and could feel and hear as they shattered above him, the light plinks as the glass landed on the tile drowned out by the distinct _pop pop pop_ of gunfire.

Everything was happening so quickly, yet it felt at the same time every detail was so clear.

Sound was muffled as he heard his heartbeat pound in his ears, the gusts of breath of the one laying on top of him blowing down his left ear canal. He _knew_ who was on top of him, would have recognised that familiar weight pressing him down _anywhere_ and it brought a strange sense of calm over him as the chaos above played out. He saw nothing but the ground in front of him, sprinkled with the sparkles of glass and white shards of china from the plates. A battle was literally raging but he focused on the body pressed against him, the sound of breathing in his ear, matching his breaths to it instinctively and simply felt _nothing_.

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted. Minutes logically, but it felt like hours before the body on top of his lifted off him and he became aware of voices speaking, taking count.

“Three injured.”

“Five.” A voice corrected.

“One causality.”

“Make that _three_. These two over here won’t make it.”

Baekhyun shuddered, remaining on the ground as he closed his eyes. A warmth touched his cheek and his eyes parted to see a small river of thick red pooling on the floor under his face. He recoiled back, hands sliding in the glass creating his own streaks of red. Strong hands grabbed the back of his jacket and hurled him up so his back was against the wall, familiar eyes running over him frantically and focusing on his bust nose and the smears of blood on his cheek.

“Shit.” Chanyeol muttered. “Shit shit _shit_!”

He watched somewhat detached as Chanyeol pushed his hair off his forehead and rested a palm against his cheek, his rough palms running over Baekhyun’s skin with a desperation that slowly made Baekhyun snap out of his trance. He blinked and his own gaze flickered over Chanyeol, noting his friend wasn't injured.

“Speak to me Baek. Are you okay?” He asked urgently.

Baekhyun nodded, eyes closing as he felt Chanyeol’s hands begin to roam from his cheeks down his throat and to his shoulders, checking his body for any serious injuries — like gunshots. Baekhyun swallowed thickly when he heard the distinct wail of sirens in the distance and shuddered as he felt Chanyeol's hands moved back up to cup his face again. Baekhyun opened his eyes to watch him.

“You’re okay.” Chanyeol breathed in relief to himself. “Nose might be broken, but nothing permanent… You’re _okay_.”

Behind Chanyeol was the flipped table, the smooth surface behind his back and dripping down it was _red_ , too thick to be wine. He shuddered as he followed it to where he’d been lain and saw the smear in the flow where his cheek had been. He could feel Chanyeol’s thumbs wiping at the blood and he shuddered again. Slowly Baekhyun took account of the other occupants of the restaurant. Beside him Rose was sat in a similar fashion to him — back against the wall — but she was alone, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hugged her knees to her chest and shook silently. Her pretty pink dress was covered in food and wine, her hair which had been perfectly pinned up into a bun was in a scraggly mess around her face, her eye makeup running down her cheeks in black and glittery streaks.

The rose that had been in her hair was on the ground laying amongst the glass, the sight so pitiful that Baekhyun's heart squeezed. He reached out for it and held it up to Chanyeol, who hadn't taken his eyes from him. The silk fabric felt like a rock in his hand.

“You should see to Rose.” Baekhyun heard himself say robotically.

“Wha…” Chanyeol looked down at the fake rose in Baekhyun's hand and blinked.

He glanced to the side where _his_ Rose was and frowned, as though just remembering she was there. Then he slowly backed away from Baekhyun to her side, murmuring to her lowly as he checked her over. Baekhyun let his head hit the wall behind him as he sagged against it, the rose falling from his fingertips back to the floor. He slowly took stock of the rest of the restaurant that he could see, noting the men speaking in hushed tones, some helping those who were injured, others gone — no doubt set out to hunt down the ones who had shot at them. Baekhyun felt… _Numb_. Even when the police arrived with the paramedics he didn’t move, not until one concerned paramedic knelt at his side and began poking at his face.

“Are you injured anywhere else?” The man asked. Baekhyun shook his head. “Your nose is broken. We don’t have room in the ambulance, can you make your own way to the hospital?”

He nodded and the man moved to Rose’s side. Chanyeol swapped places with the man and grabbed Baekhyun’s arm, guiding him up to his feet.

“Come on. I’m taking you to Doc.”

“I’m fine.”

“Your nose is broken.” Chanyeol said as he led him past Rose and towards the restaurant doors. “You need it looked at.”

Baekhyun didn’t have it in him to argue further. He allowed Chanyeol to lead him outside to his car, Minseok behind the wheel looking tense and alert.

“Everyone ok?” He asked when they climbed in.

“No.” Chanyeol snapped. “Everything’s _not_ fucking _okay_. Take us to Doc.”

Minseok didn’t question further, just stepped on the gas and drove them to ‘Doc’ — AKA Yixing, the Gangs resident Doctor. Apparently Yixing had already been clued in because he was waiting at the front door to his house when they pulled up, not looking phased in the slightest at the sight of the blood on Baekhyun. Baekhyun allowed Chanyeol to lead him inside, his body supported by Chanyeol, whose arm was wrapped around his shoulders keeping Baekhyun close to his chest as though it was his _legs_ that were injured and not his nose. Baekhyun simply didn’t have the energy to shrug him off.

They followed Yixing past his living room into the space he had fully kitted out for his job as the Mafia’s doctor. As Yixing checked him over, the adrenaline running through Baekhyun began to wear off leaving him suddenly aching. His nose hurt and so did his wrist where it had hit the table. Even his palms had to be cleaned for the tiny glass shards embedded in them, though those were superficial. The most painful was when Doc had to realign his broken nose. He wasn’t embarrassed to admit he cried out in pain, eyes filling with tears and immediately Chanyeol was at his side, shoving Yixing out of the way to cup his face again.

Yixing tutted as he cleaned up the bloody tissues. He'd dealt with a lot worse injuries from Chanyeol's men that he really had little sympathy for them. In his eyes those that lived a dangerous path should expect to be hurt.

“The swelling and bruising will go down soon. Keep the packing in for at _least_ two weeks. Also keep the brace on your wrist.” He instructed blandly as he handed him the bag of medicine.

Baekhyun agreed he would. The whole ordeal had left him feeling tired and lethargic, so he didn’t protest when Chanyeol took him back to his place. He wasn’t even phased when Chanyeol undressed him down to his boxers and tucked Baekhyun into the bed in the spare room that was really _his_ , since it was where Baekhyun always slept, before stripping down himself and climbing in beside him. The painkillers were beginning to kick in, leaving him even more tired and groggy, so he didn’t even grumble when Chanyeol pulled him close and rested Baekhyun’s head on his bare chest, mindful of his broken nose.

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s hot bare skin under his cheek and sighed, finally feeling himself relax. They laid like that in silence as Chanyeol combed his fingers through his hair, the action so comforting that Baekhyun's eyes began to drift closed.

“I was scared.” Chanyeol suddenly said, the first words he’d spoken since leaving the Doc’s office.

“I thought stuff like this didn’t faze you.” Baekhyun replied softly.

“I wasn’t scared of the _gunfire_. It was seeing _you_ covered in blood, not knowing if you’d been hit that scared me.”

“I wasn’t shot.”

“No, but you got _hurt_.”

Baekhyun remained silent because he couldn’t dispute that. His throbbing nose and wrist was a testament. His wrist was sprained but not too badly, but Doc had insisted on putting it in a splint it and had ordered Baekhyun to keep it rested. All in all, he figured he’d gotten off lightly in terms of injuries, considering _three_ people had died tonight that he knew of.

“God. Just the _thought_ that I could’ve lost you…” Chanyeol’s arms wrapped around him tightened, drawing him closer. “I’d follow in a heartbeat.”

The words shocked Baekhyun from his dozing. “Wha— _don’t_ say that.”

“It’s the truth. It came to me when I felt you so still below me, saw the blood pooling around you and I thought you’d been shot. My first instinct was revenge — and it _still_ is. But the second… The second was just overwhelming _pain_. I know now that if anything ever _were_ to happen to you, I couldn’t live.”

Baekhyun’s chest tugged painfully at hearing that.

“You can’t talk like that.”

“I’m being realistic here. You mean _everything_ to me. I won’t live in this world without you.”

“Then I won’t die. Simple.” Baekhyun declared in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“You better not, because I’ll only follow you if you do.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes. He was too tired to really argue the point of how crazy Chanyeol sounded, so he didn’t. But as sleep claimed him, Baekhyun couldn’t help but admit to himself that if something _were_ to ever happen to Chanyeol, he too wasn’t sure if he could bare living without him. That mindset, that thought process... It scared him and he shivered at the wrongness of it.

He felt Chanyeol’s lips against his scalp as he whispered: “Don’t ever leave me. _Please_.”


	10. Chapter 10

[ **10.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun woke that next morning in pain. His face ached, his wrist throbbed, the palms of his hands stung… But he was warm and comfortable laying on Chanyeol’s chest, his friends arms around him securely. So despite the pain and discomfort he stayed still, basking in that warmth until he felt Chanyeol stir.

“You’re awake?” Chanyeol asked, his deep voice even huskier with sleep.

Baekhyun blinked up at him. “Yeah.”

“Shit.” Chanyeol breathed. “You look _awful_. You wash up and I’ll get the pain meds.”

Sitting up stiffly, Baekhyun watched Chanyeol jump out of the bed and rush out of the room with a small smile, despite the pain it caused his bruised face. He couldn’t help it because it was official; to Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol was just _adorable_. The Mafia Lord would no doubt protest this, even kill anyone _else_ for even _thinking_ it, but to Baekhyun it was the truth. He'd always seen a side of Chanyeol that others didn't, that from the day they had met for reasons that were still unknown to Baekhyun, Chanyeol had chosen _him_. 

He brushed his teeth and entered the living space, surprised to see Chanyeol setting the table. He had changed into sweatpants and a loose T shirt, comfortable clothes that Baekhyun liked the most on him. In fact, they were both dressed similarly, but Baekhyun wasn't above admitting he'd never look as good as Chanyeol did, even when he was looking his most casual. The way the short sleeves showed off his muscular arms, his hair a fluffy mess, face relaxed as he went about doing mundane tasks... Baekhyun paused in the archway and watched him for a moment, a warmth spreading through his chest. It was moments like _this_ that it was almost easy to forget that Chanyeol wasn’t the fearsome, dangerous Mafia Lord of LOEY. He was just his best friend, Park Chanyeol, the person who had captured his heart so many years ago and refused to give it back.

With a smile he entered the kitchen.

“You cooked?” He asked suspiciously, since in all the years he’d known Chanyeol he’d _never_ done anything domestic, even something as simple as cooking noodles.

The look Chanyeol gave him confirmed as much as he moved to set the dishes in the plastic containers on the table between the bowls he’d placed out.

“I had one of the guys bring it.” He said. “You can’t take your meds on an empty stomach Doc said.”

Baekhyun nodded and the two sat down to enjoy the meal in a comfortable silence. It was difficult to eat with a busted nose filled with packing, and Baekhyun found it actually somehow hindered his ability to taste, but he pushed away the discomfort, aware of Chanyeol watching him intently. He didn't want to cause his friend anymore worry. Afterwards Chanyeol dumped the containers in the bin in the way only the rich could and left the plates in the sink for his maid to clear away when she arrived. Tugging Baekhyun to the couch, he gave him his douse of medicine and told him to relax. Despite watching an action movie together, Baekhyun found himself drifting into sleep as the medication kicked in, driftin in such a light daze that he heard when Chanyeol’s phone rang.

“Ah, Rose.” He heard his friend answer quickly. “Have you taken your medicine? What? _No_ I’m at home…”

His voice trailed off as he walked out of the living room towards his office and Baekhyun didn’t open his eyes until he heard the door close. Rubbing his eyes blearily he felt a pang of guilt over not sparing so much as a _thought_ towards how Rose was doing. He recalled how she’d looked, the fallen rose from her hair and how fragile she’d seemed, huddled all alone. And they’d left her. He was still mulling this over when Chanyeol reentered the living room and saw him fully awake.

“I had to take a phone call.” He explained as he sat on the sofa again.

“Rose, right? How is she?”

“She’s okay. She stayed overnight at the hospital because she was in shock, but she’s not harmed, just a few surface scratches from the glass. She’s just got home.”

Baekhyun sighed, his guilt only increasing. “You should go see her.”

“Why? She’s fine.”

“She’s _not_ fine, Yeol. She spent the night in hospital because she was in _shock_. That should give you some indication that she isn’t okay. She’s probably really scared and still a bit shaken.”

Chanyeol seemed genuinely confused. “What can _I_ do about that?”

“Be with her! Comfort her, reassure her. That’s what you _should_ do.” _As her fiancé_.

“...But what about you?”

“I’ll be fine, I’ve had my medication so I just need to rest. I’ll probably just doze on this sofa all day.”

Chanyeol nodded and stood, eying him closely. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.” Baekhyun lied. “Go comfort Rose.”

He regretted saying it when Chanyeol actually _did_ leave, because despite knowing it was the _right_ thing to do, it still hurt to do it. He didn’t want Chanyeol to go comfort Rose — he wanted Chanyeol here, comforting _him_. But that kind of selfish desire wasn’t fair, not when he had no right to monopolise Chanyeol like that. Not when Rose hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

“Ah, idiot Baekhyun.” He scolded himself sadly.

To take his mind off the thought of _how_ Chanyeol might comfort Rose, he checked his phone and was surprised to find several missed calls and text messages. Taeyeon was the most frequent so he called her back first. She answered after only two rings.

“I’ll kill you _myself_ if you aren’t already dead!” She screeched in answer. “Do you have _any_ idea how worried I’ve been?”

“Wha…”

“I read about what happened, it’s been all over the news! Jesus Baek are you okay?”

Baekhyun groaned, the realisation that what had happened last night had reached the news making him cringe.

“I’m fine, just a sprained wrist and some cuts.”

“Why the Hell does your voice sound weird?”

“My nose is broken too.” Hearing her sharp inhale he quickly asked: “Is the news coverage bad?”

“They’re saying it’s a robbery gone wrong.” She huffed. “I’m not stupid though, who the Hell tries to rob a restaurant during opening hours? What _really_ happened Baek?”

He chewed his lip as he considered how to answer that. Although Taeyeon had heard rumours about Chanyeol’s shady dealings, he wasn’t sure if he could — or even _wanted_ — to confide in her the whole truth. Not just because Chanyeol had explicitly told him not to, but because he didn’t want her to worry.

“You’re right. It wasn’t _just_ a random robbery… They were targeting Chanyeol.”

“What? _Why_?”

“Because he’s rich and so high profile, the police think they were hoping to kidnap him for ransom or something.”

The lie came from his lips so easily he knew Taeyeon wouldn’t suspect he’d just made that up on the spot. He hated how he was able to do it, years of having to cover up for Chanyeol’s illegal dealings to those around him conditioning him to lie so quickly and smoothly. And as he knew she would, Taeyeon believed it.

“Shit! I know the rich have it bad but that’s messed up. I heard some people even died… God Baek, I was so _worried_! Are you at home or at the hospital?”

“Ah… Neither. I’m actually at Chanyeol’s...”

She was silent for a moment that Baekhyun had to check the line hadn’t gone dead. “Why are you there?” She asked at last.

“I came back to his after it happened because I was worried about him. I didn’t want him to be alone.”

A half truth he assured himself. He really _didn’t_ want Chanyeol to be alone, but he wasn't sure _why_ he'd agreed to be brought here and not to his own apartment. All he knew was that being wrapped in Chanyeol's arms had made him feel safe. And he'd needed to feel safe.

“Shouldn’t it be the _police_ protecting him? No offence Baekhyun but you’re hardly the body-guard type.” She teased.

Rolling his eyes Baekhyun got up to make himself a glass of water, his wrist protesting as he held the glass. He quickly held the phone to his ear with his shoulder and held the glass instead with his left hand, glancing down at his right wrist with narrowed eyes as it throbbed. 

“Ha ha very funny. I’ll have you know Im a black belt in Hapkido!”

"Fuck off." She laughed.

"It's true! I have the certificates and belt to prove it!"

After that the phone call became more joking and teasing, the earlier worry and panic fading as they fell back into their usual bantering patterns. Taeyeon’s work in China was going well and she made him promise they’d meet up when she got back next weekend. He agreed easily, since he _did_ miss her and hung up, once again feeling bad about having to lie to her. Leaning back on the sofa Baekhyun closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. His nose throbbed and he winced. Getting up he went to get his medicine and took a painkiller, pausing to take a look at his reflection in the bathroom.

He looked pitiful. His eyes were bruised and partially swollen. His nose was huge under the bandaging and packaging, the skin of his cheeks mottled black and purple like his eyes. Even his lips were dry and chapped, giving him an overall haggard appearance. He grimaced at his reflection, knowing this was how Chanyeol had seen him this morning. He’d avoided looking at his reflection, but now he forced himself to observe the horror that had become his face. In truth, Baekhyun had never thought himself particularly handsome, but he knew he was at least somewhat _above_ _average,_ going by the compliments he would receive.

Now? He looked _awful_. If it wasn’t for the fact he’d seen Chanyeol looking just as bad – if not at time _worse_ – he’d have packed up and gone home to hide in shame. _Chanyeol_ was the one who got into fights, who would constantly show up in front of Baekhyun bruised and inured. But while Chanyeol’s injuries always made him appear more fearsome, Baekhyun just looked downright _pathetic_. Maybe that was just his rose-tinted glasses speaking, because in Baekhyun’s eyes Chanyeol _always_ looked amazing. He recalled their talk last night and his heart squeezed painfully. He wasn’t sure when their relationship turned so warped or even who instigated it, all he knew now was that they were in too deep.

He sighed again as he recalled how they’d met, how despite how he felt _now_ for Chanyeol, _Baekhyun_ hadn’t been the one to initiate their friendship…

**_14 Years Ago_ **

As the bell chimed signalling the start of the study period, Baekhyun took out his books and prepared himself for an hour of diligent studying, ignoring the chatter and banter of his classmates, who used the time to socialise and play. No one bothered him, of course. No one even glanced his way because to them Baekhyun’s desk may as well have been empty.

“—Park Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun’s focus’s left his Math homework as _that_ name was uttered by one of his classmates. Without lifting his gaze from the maths equations in front of him, he listened to the conversation of the two girls sat close to him.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Did you hear about his fight yesterday?”

“Those two Seniors aren’t in school today. He must have beaten them up badly.”

"Did you hear _why_ he did it?"

"Didn't they take something out of his locker as a prank?"

"Yeah, and look what he did to them!"

Both girls fell silent before they suddenly sighed in unison.

“But he’s _hot_.”

“Tell me about it! Have you seen the pictures on the school website of him?”

“He looks even better in _person_...”

“I wonder why he’s _here_ , though? Isn’t his classroom downstairs?”

“Yeah. He's in the year below ours. Do you think he’s lost?”

“Should we go ask him?”

“ _You_ go ask! He’s a bit scary…”

Baekhyun finally gave into the urge to look up and watched the two classmates walk out of the room, where he spotted a familiar tall, lanky figure leaning on the wall facing his open classroom door. That figure was also staring directly at _him_. Baekhyun stared back, stunned once again that someone had willingly looked directly at him that he couldn’t break the eye contact, even when the two female classmates approached Chanyeol and blocked his view. They spoke to him for a few seconds before both turned to look at Baekhyun in almost astonishment, before quickly diverting their eyes when they caught him looking.

He could only imagine the things they were telling Chanyeol about him. He lowered his own gaze back to his homework and felt the bitter pull of disappointment. It had been nice while it lasted and he was grateful for the second eye contact. But he knew there would be no more, not when Chanyeol found out what a social pariah he was. Just as he was beginning to get back into his ‘study-zone’, he became aware of a strange atmosphere around him. Looking up again sharply, he found all eyes focusing on the desk next to his and turned to find a person sat there who most definitely _wasn’t_ from his class. Immediately Baekhyun felt his nerves jump in surprise, his eyes widening.

Park Chanyeol was sat at the desk, body slumped forward with his head cradled in his crossed arms, head turned so he was facing him. Baekhyun blinked at him, stunned, but really wasn’t sure what to say. _Hi? Thanks for finding me? Are you alright?_ So instead he turned back to his math homework and completed it, all the while aware of Chanyeol watching him. He noticed a few times students approaching Chanyeol to try coax him into conversation, but Chanyeol barely gave them one word answers, always clearly dismissing them rudely. But no one dared call him out for being so disrespectful to his Seniors, most likely because they'd all heard how he'd got the bruises on his face.

Baekhyun really wasn’t sure _what_ to think of the whole thing. When the bell sounded signalling the end of study period, Chanyeol simply stood from the desk and walked out of the classroom. They hadn’t spoken to one another, not even _once_ , but just having Chanyeol watch him work had filled Baekhyun with a strange mixed feeling he couldn’t explain, other than to acknowledge it had felt… _Nice_.

After that, every break or study period, Chanyeol sought him out. They didn’t speak in the classroom; Baekhyun worked on his homework and Chanyeol would nap at the desk. At lunch time, they would go to Baekhyun’s usual empty area where they had first met. The other students still ignored him, even _more_ so if it was possible because they were all scared of Chanyeol, but Baekhyun didn’t mind at all. He didn’t need _them_ before and he certainly didn’t want their attention now. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried about Chanyeol.

“You probably shouldn’t hang out with me.” He warned Chanyeol one day as they walked to their usual secluded lunch area.

“Why not?”

Baekhyun glanced around, noting how students’ eyes would lower or avert as they walked past them. Because Chanyeol had begun to seek him out he too had been included in the student’s game of avoidance. While Baekhyun was uncomfortably aware of it Chanyeol didn’t seem bothered.

“You won’t make friends.”

Chanyeol snorted. “Are _you_ not my friend?”

Baekhyun considered that. Chanyeol didn’t talk all that much, but he answered when Baekhyun spoke and their time spent together wasn’t always spent in silence. Occasionally they would discuss trivial things such as TV shows or music, but those moments meant the world to Baekhyun. Sometimes he wondered whether Chanyeol noticed how excited he would get when they spoke, saw how sincerely _happy_ he felt when Chanyeol met his gaze without looking away.

“I… I am.” Baekhyun said shyly.

Chanyeol nodded. “Then why do I need to make _more_?”

Baekhyun supposed that was a valid reason and swiftly dropped the topic. As per their usual routine, they were sat on the wall and Baekhyun handed Chanyeol a lunchbox. He’d taken to packing two each morning.

“Kimchi, rice and egg rolls.” Baekhyun confessed, feeling embarrased to always be giving him the same lunch.

But Chanyeol never complained. He accepted the food and ate each lunch without protest or even comment. Baekhyun wished he knew _what_ his new friend was thinking, but he knew some things simply couldn’t be asked, so he didn’t. That night, after two weeks of this routine, as Baekhyun sat at his small desk studying for tomorrow’s big test, he was startled by a tapping sound at his window. Eying his clock, noting it was almost midnight, he slowly padded towards his window and peered down at the dark street below. A familiar tall, lanky frame was stood below looking up.

Opening the window Baekhyun squinted down at Chanyeol, unable to make out his features in the dark. To say he was completely stunned would’ve been an understatement.

“Let me up.” Chanyeol called lowly.

Sneaking through his house, aware of his parents snoring in their bedroom and the silence from his older brothers’ room, Baekhyun opened his front door and stepped aside to let Chanyeol in. Motioning for him to be quiet, he lead him upstairs to his bedroom and closed the door softly behind him. Turning he gasped as he got a good look at his friends face, completely black and blue and swollen.

“Wha—” he began, but Chanyeol simply flopped on his bed with a sigh, covering his bruised eyes with his forearm.

“I’m staying here tonight.”

“Sure.” He agreed quickly, moving to take a seat at his desk. “Are you ok?” Chanyeol nodded. “W-What happened?”

Chanyeol moved his arm from his black eyes to look at him. “Lost a fight.”

“With who?”

“My dad.”

Baekhyun sat up straighter. He didn’t know much about Chanyeol’s family, only that they never gave Chanyeol lunch or money to buy any. Baekhyun had never met or seen them and Chanyeol never spoke of them, but Baekhyun had always got the impression they were simply poor, certainly poor enough that they couldn't feed their son a lunch. Now his pity turned to outrange that his Father could do something like this. 

“… I’m sorry.” He spoke at last, unsure what to say.

“It’s no big deal. One day he won’t be as lucky.”

“What do you mean?”

A cold, cruel smile lifted Chanyeol’s lips. “I’m going to take _everything_ from him.”

Again Baekhyun wasn’t sure what Chanyeol was saying, but he knew now wasn’t the time for questions. Instead he reached for his first aid box from his side table then wheeled his desk chair closer to the bed.

“Sit up.” He instructed.

Chanyeol’s expression was unreadable as Baekhyun treated his wounds. But he maintained eye contact like he always did, watching Baekhyun closely before finally laying down when he was done. Putting the box away, Baekhyun studied Chanyeol laying on his bed and felt a swell of pity for his new friend.

“Sleep.” Chanyeol ordered him suddenly.

"Ah, do you want me to find you something to sleep in?" Baekhyun offered.

"Nothing you own will fit me."

Baekhyun grimaced, because it was a painful truth. Even though Chanyeol was a year younger he was a _lot_ taller than Baekhyun, who was one of the shortest guys in his class. He was waiting patiently for the day he had his fabled growth spurt, too. 

“Then I’ll go grab a sleeping bag—” Chanyeol scooted closer to the wall and patted the space he’d made pointedly. Baekhyun felt his lips twitch. “—ah, ok...”

Sliding into the bed next to him, Baekhyun stared up at his ceiling, trying to imagine how a father could beat his son so viciously. But he couldn’t comprehend _any_ reasoning for it, because in his life his parents had never _once_ lifted a hand against him that wasn’t in a joking manner. Suddenly Chanyeol rolled towards him and put his forehead against Baekhyun’s shoulder, causing him to freeze in place.

“Yeol…”

“Just let me stay like this.” Chanyeol spoke quietly.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to do. From what he’d observed, Chanyeol didn’t touch people unless he _had_ to and didn’t partake in skinship. He’d witnessed a girls flirtatiously touch his arm and Chanyeol had always shrugged them off, even going as far as to glare at students who accidentally bumped him. This was unfamiliar ground to Baekhyun, who’s hand shook as he reached across to pat Chanyeol’s head in the way his mother would have done for Baekhyun. Immediately Chanyeol’s body relaxed against him with a sigh and he actually scooted closer, his own arm slipping across Baekhyun’s chest to hug him.

“This feels nice.” Chanyeol whispered tiredly.

That nights sleepover turned into another, then another as Chanyeol began to visit Baekhyun’s house almost every night, always sneaking out before Baekhyun even woke. Before long that hug turned into other forms of skinship and Baekhyun wasn’t sure _how_ it happened, not really, because it suddenly felt to him like they’d been this close forever. His usually reserved friend used every opportunity he could to touch him when they were alone together, holding his hand, grabbing his wrist, hugging him… But Baekhyun didn’t mind.

He was just as starved of skinship from his peers as apparently Chanyeol was.

“Look at them gay boys.” A voice broke their usual lunch time calm one day.

Baekhyun looked up from his seat on the wall to see two Senior students strolling towards the building they ate their lunch at the side of, sniggering. Next to him Chanyeol had froze.

“Can’t believe the transfer student actually wanted to be friends with that _loser_.” The other declared.

Before Baekhyun could even process that insult Chanyeol was charging across the school grounds and throwing punches. Afterwards, as Baekhyun fussed over him while scolding him for acting so rashly, Chanyeol suddenly grabbed his face and tilted his own head down so their foreheads touched. Baekhyun tensed at the close contact because Chanyeol had never initiated it in public before.

“ _No one_ speaks to you like that, Baek. Not in front of me.” Chanyeol declared fiercely.

“They’re just words, Yeol.”

“I don’t care. _No one_ talks bad about what’s mine.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

[ **11.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun was lounging on his bed, reading through his business documents on his tablet when Chanyeol returned home. He was completely occupied with the stock figures, secretly pleased with how good his first business month had been when Chanyeol poked his head into his room, startling him. He hadn't even heard him. Seeing him awake Chanyeol gave him a tired frown.

“Why are you still awake?” He asked.

Baekhyun glanced at the time in surprise and smiled sheepishly. “I napped most of the day so I’m not tired.”

Chanyeol, however, looked _exhausted_. Pulling off his tie, he unbuttoned the top few of his shirt and flopped down on his bed next to him, letting out a weary sigh as he did so. Baekhyun set his tablet down on the side table and eyed Chanyeol’s closed eyes, dark lashes spread across his skin. Baekhyun’s hand twitched at his side with the urge to stroke his fingertips over them, to feel how soft they were. Then his eyes involuntary ran down to the exposed skin of Chanyeol’s chest, showcasing his sharp collarbones, the shadows and dips _begging_ to be touched. Swallowing thickly, Baekhyun forced his gaze back to a safer zone – his own hands in his lap.

“How was Rose?” He asked, keeping his tone light.

“Alright. I spent the day getting my work done.”

Baekhyun didn’t realise he was so tense until he heard those words, his body immediately relaxing in relief that Chanyeol hadn’t spent all day — and most of the night, with Rose. That of course only made him feel even _worse_. Suddenly Chanyeol rolled into his side and threw an arm around Baekhyun’s waist, pulling down him against his body and burying his face into his neck.

“Hey…” Baekhyun protested with a laugh as Chanyeol's breath tickled him. “You have your _own_ bed.”

“I wanna sleep here.” He mumbled against his skin.

“Then at least shower and change. You smell like smoke.”

Chanyeol huffed, the air blowing against Baekhyun’s throat making him shiver.

“I visited one of my clubs — you know how those meatheads like their cigars.”

Baekhyun _did_ know that, it’s why he didn’t like accompanying Chanyeol to his clubs because his managers were the typical Mafia men, smoking their cigars and drinking their whiskey no matter the time of day like they were staples to their diets. Baekhyun always left with his clothes stinking, the same as how Chanyeol’s smelled now. It made Baekhyun's nose wrinkle.

“I’ll shower.” Chanyeol relented at last, getting up with a groan.

Baekhyun watched him leave with a smile of amusement. How comfortable Chanyeol was around him now wasn’t something that _always_ had been. Back when they’d first met, that day he’d witnessed Chanyeol beat two Seniors up for simply taking his notepad, Baekhyun had never imagined that Chanyeol would become someone who he’d one day become close to. In fact, he’d assumed after that incident and sharing his lunch box with him, Chanyeol would _never_ speak to him again.

That, of course, hadn’t been the case at all…

From his place on the bed, Baekhyun snapped out of his memories as he heard the faint sound of Chanyeol’s shower turn on in the master bedroom and immediately his mind began to wander. The picture of Chanyeol standing under the warm spray, his body gloriously naked, water running over his broad shoulders and down his firm chest flashed into his brain and lingered tauntingly. Skin soapy and wet, droplets running over defined abs, catching in the muscle dips and valleys before sliding down to— Baekhyun’s eyes snapped open, stunned by the vivid image and he grimaced as he had to adjust his pants.

He hadn’t even realised he’d closed his eyes, so lost in his imagination. With a frown he quickly tried to dispel the erotic daydream because now _wasn’t_ the time to begin lusting over his friend. But against his better judgement, his mind simply _couldn’t_ ignore the picture of Chanyeol showering and he let out a sigh of frustration as his cock ached in his pants, balls tight and demanding he do something about his pent up desire. He knew it wouldn’t just go away.

Standing up he rushed into his own bathroom and quickly yanked down his sweatpants, his hardened shaft springing free. Immediately he was faced with a dilemma as he instinctively went to grasp it with his right hand and paused as he found himself unable to hold it with the splint hindering his movement. He couldn’t apply pressure because of the brace, could barely grip his length the way he _needed_ to without sending a slice of pain through his injured wrist. He maddingly began to think maybe it was a _good_ thing, that this was a sign he needed to stop. Never before had Baekhyun pleasured himself in Chanyeol’s house, though there had been plenty of times he’d _wanted_ to.

For reasons he couldn’t explain even to himself, this time felt… _Different_. Maybe it was the thought that he could’ve died last night, or perhaps it was because now he had some kind of experience with Chanyeol to help fuel his lewd thoughts. Either way he knew he couldn’t just stop. So, with little option, he was forced to use his left hand. It made his eyes water with frustration as he repeatedly attempted to stroke himself the way he _needed_ to. But it wasn’t right — his left hand was his least dominant and though he was painfully hard, it just couldn’t find a rhythm he required. All his mind was doing was torturing him because he knew there was no way he could relieve himself quickly enough with his left hand, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to _stop_. If Baekhyun was alone he’d endure, but time wasn’t on his side. Chanyeol would be finished with his shower soon and unless Baekhyun got a grip on his raging hormones there was no way he could hide his bodies reaction. Which left him no other option than to try and finish this.

He worked his left hand faster, chasing after a release that felt like a distant goal as he worked his mind into a frenzy trying to pretend it was _Chanyeol’s_ hand holding him, _Chanyeol_ pumping his dick—

“Jesus...”

Baekhyun’s eyes snapped open in horror at the uttered word and he frantically scrambled to pull up his sweatpants, body turning to hide his shame. Behind him Chanyeol was stood in the open doorway, having obviously come in while Baekhyun had been otherwise _distracted_. Baekhyun couldn’t find the words to excuse what he’d had obviously seen; him hard and panting in pent up frustration against the bathroom wall, hand wrapped around his hardened dick as he attempted to relieve himself. His cheeks burned as he remembered Chanyeol’s expression, eyes wide and mouth parted as he took in Baekhyun’s exposed perversion. Baekhyun knew without him saying it that Chanyeol had to be disgusted by what he’d seen. How could he not be, when Baekhyun felt disgusted in _himself_.

“Baek—”

“ _Don’t_.” He begged as he finally wrestled his pants up. But he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. “I just… Please leave me alone.”

The silence that followed his request was so thick with tension that it made his stomach churn. His heart was thumping, his cheeks still burning with mortification as he desperately prayed Chanyeol would do as he asked and not ask questions. He should have known by now, however, that Chanyeol didn’t follow orders blindly.

“Stop acting shy and look at me.” Chanyeol spoke.

 _Acting_ shy? He gritted his teeth. “Yeol—”

“Turn around!”

At the barked order Baekhyun stiffened his spine and sucked in a sharp breath before releasing it shakily as he obediently turned around, eyes locked on the ground. He could see Chanyeol’s bare feet by the door facing him and his chin wobbled with the sudden urge to cry. He’d never felt so ashamed.

“Look at me.”

Dragging his eyes up, drinking in Chanyeol’s own sweatpants and loose T-shirt, he finally made eye contact and found Chanyeol’s expression to be one of… _Concern_. That only furthered his turmoil because he didn’t want that. The last thing he ever wanted was Chanyeol to pity how Baekhyun felt, to feel _sorry_ for him. His pride couldn't handle it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He begged.

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me!” He exploded, his voice breaking.

Chanyeol’s eyebrows pulled down at the reaction, clearly not expecting it. “Why are you upset?”

“Because I’m fucking _embarrassed_!”

“Why? It’s not like I haven’t seen you get a hard on before.” Chanyeol smiled.

Baekhyun’s emotions were yo-yoing with how calm Chanyeol was, unsure how to even react _himself_ when faced with such an unanticipated response. Annoyance and embarrassment were the two dominant feelings, tinged through with shame and indignation. How could his seemingly intelligent friend be this _dense_? Anger began to bleed through as he realised once again that Chanyeol really didn’t _get it_ at all.

“I got a hard on over picturing _you_ showering.” He told Chanyeol bitterly, and he watched understanding flash in his eyes. “Are you disgusted now you know the truth?”

“Why would I be disgusted?”

“Because I was trying to masturbate while picturing you naked and I couldn’t fucking do it!” Baekhyun once again shouted, his voice hoarse. “Why _wouldn’t_ that disgust you?”

“I got that.” Chanyeol said slowly like _he_ was the idiot here. “But it’s not a big deal. I know you’re attracted to me, Baek. I’ve known for _years_.”

Baekhyun blinked at him, trying to wrap his head around that logic. There it was again, that phrase Chanyeol liked to toss around so casually, _no big deal_. As though catching Baekhyun masturbating over him was as ordinary as seeing Baekhyun cooking. Really, was it any wonder Baekhyun’s mind was so fucked when Chanyeol said things like that and reacted like this? It wasn’t _normal_ , Baekhyun concluded hollowly. None of this was _right_ , him included.

“You’re right-handed.” Chanyeol suddenly announced.

Baekhyun glanced down at his splinted right hand, still somewhat dumbstruck. He nodded, not understanding what that had to do with any of this.

“No wonder you couldn’t do it with that splint on.”

Before Baekhyun could even summon a response to Chanyeol’s sudden observation, his friend stepped towards him and reached out, his palm pressing against the still evident bulge in Baekhyun’s sweat pants causing his eyes to widen and his body to attempt to jerk back. But since he was still against the wall, Baekhyun had nowhere to flee and all he could do was press his left hand against Chanyeol’s chest weakly in protest.

“What are you doing?” He demanded breathlessly, his eyes already loosing focus at the feel of Chanyeol’s hand cupping him.

His mind was jumbled and all he could think was _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck **fuck**_ because Chanyeol was touching him _there_. He wanted to rub himself against Chanyeol's palm like an animal in heat and simultaneously push him away.

“Helping you.”

Baekhyun shuddered as Chanyeol palm slid up towards the waistband of his sweatpants and tugged them down in one swift motion. Alarm shot through him and his right hand that was resting on Chanyeol’s chest shot down to pull them back up while his braced hand pushed Chanyeol’s away feebly.

“No, _don’t_ —” his protest turned into a moan as Chanyeol’s grabbed his semi-hard cock.

All rational thought fled Baekhyun’s mind because suddenly he couldn’t think straight. His cock immediately hardened fully so quickly that it actually hurt and made his head dizzy. _Chanyeol_ was touching him, it was _Chanyeol's_ hot skin against his, _Chanyeol’s_ palm holding him, _Chanyeol’s_ rough, calloused fingers wrapped around him. _Oh god oh god fuck fuck fuck_ —Then Chanyeol began to stroke his length, movements slow and somewhat awkward at first before he found a rhythm that had Baekhyun momentarily breathless, his brain forgetting to remind him to breathe. Then he gasped and shuddered, falling back against the tiles again as both his hands returned to Chanyeol’s chest shakily, his time to grab fistfuls of his T-shirt in an attempt to anchor himself because he felt disjointed.

When Chanyeol suddenly squeezed, applying the perfect amount of pressure Baekhyun groaned and his head snapped forward so his mouth was pressed against Chanyeol’s throat. Breathing ragged, he had the sudden urge to _taste_ Chanyeol. He parted his lips, teeth sinking into the fleshy skin where his neck met his shoulder. He heard Chanyeol’s grunt of pain, the hand pumping him so deliciously momentarily breaking rhythm. Baekhyun whimpered, releasing his teeth from Chanyeol’s throat.

“You’re a biter.” Chanyeol noted almost to himself.

But Baekhyun couldn’t even answer because Chanyeol once again found that perfect motion that had him panting shamelessly as the intense pleasure built back up, causing his thighs to tremble and his spine to tingle. He himself was whispering gibberish against Chanyeol’s skin, begging him to keep going and begging him to stop, telling him that it was too much, that it wasn’t _enough_.

“That’s it, Baek.” Chanyeol spoke, the sound and feel of his deep voice making Baekhyun’s eyes roll back. “You’re almost there…”

Chanyeol’s grip was bordering brutal, his hand movements quick and almost violent but so _perfect_ that Baekhyun could barely breathe. It was _amazing_ , so good words couldn’t describe how he felt. He brokenly acknowledged that this had to be something magical because nothing could compare. He was climbing higher, ascending to what he was convinced must be death by extreme pleasurable overload. He’d die happy, he decided. _This_ was how he wanted to go.

“ _Now_. Come for me.”

Chanyeol’s whispered command was the catalyst Baekhyun didn’t know he needed to push him over the edge. Closing his eyes, his lips parted on a soundless moan as light flashed behind his closed eyelids and the world lurched on its axis as his explosive orgasm hit. It rendered him completely blind, his body boneless and numb. He was floating and sinking, soaring and falling, drowning in a feeling that was so intense his brain seemed to have short circuited. He vaguely felt Chanyeol’s other hand wrap around his waist, holding him upright as he practically fainted.

What felt like hours though was, realistically, just a minute later Baekhyun’s senses returned and his eyes opened blearily, his breath still ragged, heart racing. He blinked up at Chanyeol, his mind trying to decipher the strange expression on his face without much luck. He’d never seen that look before and it was making his post-orgasmic glow darken as his earlier embarrassment returned. He quickly lurched out of Chanyeol’s arms and dragged his sweatpants up, ignoring the stickiness of his cock and the traces of his release against his thighs.

He didn’t even _dare_ to look down at Chanyeol’s hand.

“Better?” Chanyeol asked, breaking the silence.

Baekhyun stared at the floor. “What the Hell was _that_?”

“It’s called an orgasm. Surely you’ve had one before?”

“Stop being so fucking calm!” Baekhyun snapped, finally looking up to glare at him.

Chanyeol made a scoffing sound and turned to the sink to wash his hand. “Do you want me to freak out like you are?” He asked, his tone still so maddeningly conversational that it was putting him on edge.

“Yes! _No_! I don’t… Why the Hell _aren’t_ you? You just…” Baekhyun forced himself to take a breath. “Yeol, what you just did… What _we_ did… You can’t be fine with it.”

Chanyeol turned off the tap and moved to dry his hands, his expression now thoughtful.

“It was… _Weird_.” He admitted at last. “But not repulsive or anything. Actually… It was kinda funny.”

Baekhyun’s mouth opened in horror. “ _Funny!_?”

“Yeah. I never realised how responsive you are. Do you always come so quick?”

He wished the ground would swallow him up. Or better yet — swallow his _friend_ up. He had no idea why Chanyeol was so calm, why he’d done what he’d done. Baekhyun stared at him, convinced now that Chanyeol must be having some kind of internal freak out or something, because there was no way this reaction could be genuine. His eyes moved down to Chanyeol’s throat and his teeth tingled at the sight of their imprint against his skin. He’d marked him.

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun whispered, staggering back to lean against the tiles again.

“Why are _you_ apologising to _me_? It’s not like you forced me to do it. _I’m_ the one that grabbed _you_.”

Baekhyun wasn’t even sure himself why he’d had the sudden overwhelming urge to apologise, only that the sight of that mark on his friend, the mark _he’d_ left, made him feel awful. His mouth twisted into a grimace and he closed his eyes, head falling back with a thump.

“ _Why_ did you do it Yeol?”

Chanyeol’s hands gripped his face and forced him to look forward at him. Baekhyun stared into Chanyeol’s eyes, trying to find a hint of disgust or regret, but his friends gaze was completely warm. It made his heart race once again.

“When it comes to you, Baek, I’d do _anything_. I saw you… I watched you trying so hard and I… I _hated_ it. I hated how pained you looked, how upset you seemed.”

“You did it out of pity.” _Just like the kisses._

“No. I did it because it made _me_ feel better. Seeing you like that tore me up inside and I needed to fix it.” Chanyeol’s lips curled into another smile. “If anything, it was my own selfishness. You’re _mine_ , Baek, and I can’t see you hurting. I’m not strong enough to endure it.”

Baekhyun didn’t even know how to respond to that. He knew Chanyeol was _possessive_ , but he’d never, ever have thought that would make him to something like _this_. A small, depraved part of Baekhyun loved it, basked in the glow that was Chanyeol’s protective nature, whilst a dark part of him ached with guilt over it, because it meant once again Chanyeol hadn’t done it because he actually desired Baekhyun.

“Come on, stop overthinking this and shower. You might not be tired but _I_ am. Let’s go to bed.” Chanyeol said, giving his cheeks a gentle pat.

Baekhyun watched him walk out of the bathroom and let out a breath. Despite the guilt, he couldn’t help but obsess over the fact that _Chanyeol_ had touched him, had made him feel something he’d been desperately chasing after with Sehun all those times fumbling and fooling around. It was the missing piece, he knew. He really was ruined now, because even with his right hand fully working and functioning, he doubted he’d ever make himself feel what Chanyeol just did. What they’d just done wasn’t right. It wasn’t _normal_ between friends.

But then again…

They never really been _just friends_.


	12. Chapter 12

[ **12.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Rubbing his eyes as he woke up, Baekhyun winced at the intense ache in his right wrist which immediately brought back the memories of _why_ it hurt. Immediately his cheeks flamed and he sat up quickly, his eyes scanning the room. He was alone. Relaxing back against the headboard, he glared down at his wrist, at the problems it had caused him. But really, the one he was most pissed off with was _himself_ for putting himself in that situation in the first place. He should never had tried it, should have just got a cold shower in the first instance and not even _attempted_ to relieve himself, knowing in his heart as he did that it had been wrong.

With a sigh Baekhyun buried his face back into his pillow as he remembered _everything_ in explicit detail because he really was a masochist. The feel of Chanyeol’s hand on him, the pleasure he had felt, the warmth of Chanyeol’s skin… He shivered and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Why are you still lazing in bed?” Came a familiar voice.

Baekhyun froze instinctively and peeked through his hair to see Chanyeol leaning against the doorway watching him, a cup of coffee in his hands. Sitting up he cleared his throat and looked down at his splinted hand.

“Ah, I just woke up…”

“Are you hiding?”

Baekhyun looked up sharply to see the familiar smile on Chanyeol’s face and his heart thumped. He quickly shook his head.

“Not hiding.”

“Ah, good. I was worried you’d be overthinking things if I left you alone too long.” Chanyeol said as he walked into the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed he handed Baekhyun the cup of coffee. “Here. It’s still hot.”

Baekhyun accepted it and cupped his hands around the warm mug, breathing in the scent. Taking a sip he found his senses had been correct, it really _was_ a strawberry latte—his favourite. Immediately his chest was filled with a nostalgic warmth. He had no idea how Chanyeol had got it, but then again… Chanyeol had the connections to make just about _anything_ happen. But just the thought of one of his men like Jongin running around Seoul looking for a café that sold it so early in the morning made him smile. Chanyeol of course caught the expression.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked in English.

Baekhyun’s smile immediately faded. “Nothing. Just… I can’t believe you remembered this is my favourite.”

“I remember _everything_ about you.”

The warmth in his belly spread and he had to force himself not to show Chanyeol just how much those simple words made him feel.

“I haven’t ordered this since High School.” Baekhyun mused.

It was true – when he’d graduated, he’d tried to force his tastes to mature, and although the sweet drink had always _secretly_ remained his favourite, he’d never ordered it again. The taste brought back memories, most good but as with all things that were connected with Chanyeol they were all tainted with an undercurrent of bitterness. _All_ his memories of them were like that from the moment he’d realised his unrequited feelings. Looking up from the drink, Baekhyun let his eyes run over Chanyeol, from the vest top and sweatpants he wore to his hair, now a fluffy mess from his shower. He loved this man so much that he had been willing to endure the pain, to live by his side regardless of how much it tormented him. Being friends with someone that knew about how you felt, but didn’t return those feelings, was a type of exquisite torture that really was maddening.

Large wide eyes were watching him back just as closely.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Chanyeol said suddenly.

Baekhyun blinked out of the daze he’d been in. “Like _what_?”

“Like you want to jump me.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks flushed and he quickly averted his eyes as he took a drink of his latte for something to do. Next to him Chanyeol sighed softly and Baekhyun felt his hand land on his own hair, stroking it. It felt nice.

“I’m not judging you.”

“You _should_ be.” Baekhyun said into his cup.

Chanyeol didn’t answer that and he was glad. Sometimes Chanyeol’s truths hurt more than any lie and right now he didn’t want to hear Chanyeol saying his feelings were _no big deal_. That saying was now one Baekhyun hated the most in the world.

“When you finish your drink grab a shower. We’re going out.” Chanyeol said, giving his head a final stroke before standing up.

“Where are we going?”

Chanyeol winked. “That’s a surprise.”

When he closed the door behind him Baekhyun closed his eyes and let out a breath. He supposed he should be somewhat grateful that Chanyeol was still willing to be his friend despite knowing how he felt about him, but on the other hand Baekhyun was beginning to wonder if perhaps it would have been less painful if Chanyeol had kicked him aside because _he_ knew he wasn’t strong enough to leave.

Finishing his delicious latte, Baekhyun took a quick shower and dressed. In the kitchen he found breakfast waiting and his pain medication next to a glass of water. Chanyeol had apparently already eaten (and changed into jeans and a black turtleneck, his hair now gelled back neatly) and stood sipping his own coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter and checking his phone as Baekhyun ate. Once he was finished they left the apartment, the first time Baekhyun had since he’d been brought here that night. Chanyeol took him to the underground carpark of the complex and to his car.

“Where’s Minseok?” Baekhyun asked as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“I told him not to come.”

Baekhyun frowned as he fastened his seat belt. Chanyeol very _very_ rarely drove himself anywhere, since Minseok wasn’t just a driver but also a bodyguard. It only made Baekhyun even more curious to know where they were going, but he knew Chanyeol would never tell him if it was supposed to be a surprise. He was too stubborn.

The weather was mild, though the sky threatened rain. They drove for hours, for so long that they had to stop for a quick toilet break and to get themselves some water. The atmosphere in the car was comfortable, the awkwardness of that morning seemingly gone as they talked and joked as they normally did when they were alone. This feeling – _these_ moments… Baekhyun hadn’t realised how much he’d missed them. Since that moment his feelings had been acknowledged by Chanyeol that fateful day things hadn’t been right between them.

Baekhyun even napped for a while and when he woke, just an hour later, he knew immediately where they were going. His sat up eagerly, staring out of the window at the passing countryside.

“Yeol! I thought you said it was too dangerous?”

“It _is_.” Chanyeol stressed seriously, but his lips curled at Baekhyun’s obvious excitement. “But I know you miss them, and they miss _you_. When I saw them last time when I was looking for you, they asked when you could next visit.”

Baekhyun leaned back in his seat happily. His parents lived on a farm in the country and since both of them had moved there they’d adopted a ‘technology free’ life – meaning they didn’t have the internet and only had a simple house phone they used for emergencies. They’d both grown up in the city and had even raised Baekhyun in Seoul but had a change of heart when they’d reached retirement age. It had always been a dream of theirs to live a simple life and Baekhyun hadn’t begrudged them leaving when he’d entered University to fulfill it.

He was practically bouncing in his seat as they turned down the dirt roads, driving past farms and tiny villages until they turned up the steep dirt path that lead up an incline to where his parents home was. Chanyeol hadn’t even stopped the engine when Baekhyun jumped out and dashed up the steps to the front door. It opened before he even reached it, his Mother obviously having heard the car approaching.

“My boy!” She cried as he bounded towards her.

Wrapping his arms around her familiar body Baekhyun held back his tears, her familiar scent and warmth surrounding him. It had been almost a year since he’d last seen his parents and though he knew he missed them, he hadn’t realised it had been _this_ much. He squeezed her tighter, causing her to laugh as she hugged him back. When she pulled back he let her fuss over him, smoothing back his hair as she told him he needed to get it cut, tutting over his weight saying he was too skinny, her words filled with love and motherly concern. Then she began scolding him over his injuries.

“What have you done to your handsome face?” She demanded sharply, gaze on his busted noise and black eyes. “Ah! What’s this?” She grabbed his wrist and gave him a sharp look. “Have you been _fighting_?”

“No mum. I just had an accident.”

“Don’t you lie to your mother! Chanyeol-ah, _you_ tell me the truth. Has my son been causing trouble?”

Chanyeol chuckled and Baekhyun startled. He’d almost forgotten Chanyeol was even here with him, he’d been so absorbed with seeing his mother again after so long.

“No, he really _did_ just have an accident aunty.” He told her.

“Where’s dad?” Baekhyun asked to change the topic, peaking around her into their home.

“You know your dad; he’s out playing cards!” His mum huffed. But her tone was still light. “Do _you_ not have a hug for me?” She asked Chanyeol.

Baekhyun stepped aside as Chanyeol hugged his mum. She began to fuss over him in the same fashion she had Baekhyun, though praised him on being so handsome. ‘Much more handsome than my own sons!’ she praised highly, causing Baekhyun to roll his eyes. His mother had always had a soft spot for the Mafia Lord, almost considering him her own son. It was because Chanyeol had spent so many evenings at their house over the years, though of course his mother didn’t know that Chanyeol also used to stay _over_ secretly. He wasn’t sure what she’d think, if she knew, or even what she’d think if she knew what Chanyeol _really_ did for a living. All she knew was what others did – he was a businessman. She didn’t even know how rich he really was, though that would never have influenced how she treated him.

It had just seemed easier to pretend.

“Well, come on in, don’t linger out here!” She said, ushering them both inside. “I’ll made some tea and cook you both something to eat. Really, is there no good food in the city anymore? Why are you both so skinny?”

“We’re _not_ skinny mum!” Baekhyun protested.

But his mother wouldn’t hear of it. She had always been a feeder and if she had her way Baekhyun would probably be overweight! But he humoured her, because he had missed her cooking – he had missed _everything_ about her, even her nagging and fussing. He was aware that Chanyeol kept glancing at him, probably amused by the obvious happiness on his face that he couldn’t disguise, but he didn’t care. Loving your parents wasn’t wrong and he wasn’t ashamed of it.

“Baekbeom and his wife came last weekend.” His mother said after she had laid the table with various side dishes for them. She was sat watching them eat, occasionally filling their bowls when she wasn’t convinced they were eating _enough_. “He even brought our adorable granddaughter and grandson with him.”

Baekhyun laughed. “He took the time off work? How rare!”

“You should follow his lead! _He_ visits us at least _two_ times a year despite how far away he lives!” his mother scolded, making him fall silent in shame. How could he admit to her the reason he hadn’t visited was because he’d ran away to China? He didn’t have the nerve. “Have you spoken to your brother?”

“No… Not recently.” Baekhyun admitted.

There was a seven-year age difference between Baekhyun and Baekbeom because originally, his parents only wanted one child. Baekhyun had been a surprise, but a pleasant one his mum was always assuring him. Because of the significant age difference, Baekhyun had never really been all that close to his Hyung, who had been something of an academic overachiever all his life. When Baekhyun had entered High School his brother had already graduated University, so they’d never been in the same school together or had the same circle of friends. His Hyung had an office job; he was a Manager at a furniture stores corporate office and while Baekhyun lived in Seoul, Baekbeom lived in Busan with his wife and two kids.

Baekhyun knew his mother had always wished for them to be closer, but the truth was he wasn’t sure _how_ to get closer to his Hyung. It wasn’t that he had a bad relationship with Baekbeom, it was just that the two of them were just too _different_. They’d text at important occasions, such as Birthdays and public holidays, but other than that… They didn’t speak casually or without reason. It was the only real ‘family drama’ that Baekhyun could claim to have, though that was describing it too harshly. The dynamic was nothing like Chanyeol’s chaotic family life and Baekhyun reminded himself of that whenever he felt guilt over it.

“Baekbeom … He’s accomplished so much.” His mother said with a proud smile.

“Ah aunty, did you know Baekhyun’s opened his own store?” Chanyeol spoke suddenly, in tune with the subtle shift in Baekhyun.

Though his mother wasn’t aware of it, she compared the two brothers a lot to each other, probably because her elder son had seemingly accomplished so much. She wanted the same for Baekhyun, for him to be as settled and happy as her older son, but such standards were not something Baekhyun could meet. It had always been a sour point with him.

“What kind of store?”

“A clothing store.” Chanyeol answered for him, flashing him an encouraging look.

Baekhyun pulled out his phone, bringing up his store’s website. “It’s doing really well. I’m even doing international shipping now, too.”

“Let me see!” His mother said, and promptly began to praise Baekhyun’s designs as he showed her the pictures on his phone.

Baekhyun couldn’t help but inflate under the praise of his mother, because her judgement was better than any fashion blogger or stylist. He’d been concerned his mother would find his job lacking, since compared to Baekbeom’s Manager position at a big company _his_ job title couldn’t compare, but his mother was proud and that was all that mattered in his eyes. He was always striving for that.

After they had eaten, Chanyeol joined Baekhyun for a walk outside. The sun was high in the sky now, having already passed midday and the temperature was slightly better, though it seemed the ominous clouds from this morning had followed them here. Soon they were cast in shadows, but that didn’t bother either of them, since the air was still pleasant. They would occasionally pass other villagers, who recognised Baekhyun and waved to him cheerfully. Those that didn’t recognise him stared and him and Chanyeol, since they stood out like a sore thumb here wearing their ‘city clothes’. But Baekhyun didn’t mind – he was just happy to be back and Chanyeol didn’t ever seem phased by others opinions.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Baekhyun said softly after they had walked for a while.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me for _this_. You should be able to visit them whenever you want… It’s my fault you haven’t.”

Baekhyun remained silent, because he didn’t want to argue with Chanyeol that the reason he’d not seen them was because he’d been hiding away in China. He didn’t want to bring that time up, so instead he simply nodded. The air in the country always smelled different and Baekhyun breathed deeply. He’d missed this scent. Though his parents had moved here when he’d been in University, he’d somehow still come to associate it with the smell of _home_.

They walked for an hour, occasionally talking but mostly they were silent, simply enjoying the quiet calm that was country life, where the sounds of rush hour traffic, car horns blaring, people talking on mobile phones, busses revving their engines… All of it was absent. It really was a peaceful and for the two of them who had lived in the noisy city all their lives it was almost therapeutic to be surrounded by such quiet. Returning back to the house it was to the smell of his mother once again cooking as she prepared tea and to the sound of his Father’s loud laughing as he joined her in the kitchen, washing vegetables.

Spotting Baekhyun his eyes lit up. “Come, give your old man a hug!” He ordered.

Baekhyun obediently hugged his father, who didn’t linger the hold as long as his mother had, but who still pulled away to appraise him.

“You look manly with those injuries.” He teased.

“I’m _very_ manly!” Baekhyun pretended to scowl, causing his Father to laugh.

“You need to go to the gym.” He said, squeezing Baekhyun’s arms. “Look at Chanyeol’s arms! _Those_ are the arms of a man!”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, because his Father’s own muscles weren’t much larger than his. Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a smug look, because really whenever they visited his parents together they always found ways to praise him over Baekhyun. Chanyeol clearly loved the praise, as though his ego needed inflating anymore.

“We heard from Baekbeom that you’re engaged now. Congratulations!” His Father said, giving Chanyeol a fatherly clap on the shoulder.

His mother made a sound of distress. “Of course! How could I forget? Congratulations Chanyeol-ah! We’ve seen the pictures; she really is beautiful!”

Baekhyun forced his expression to remain neutral as Chanyeol took the commendations, looking bashful as he thanked them.

“What’s her name again? Something English…”

“Roseanne Park.”

“She even has such a _pretty_ sounding name! You look well suited in the pictures I saw; she will make a beautiful bride.”

Baekhyun felt his expression beginning to crack as his mother insisted on discussing the wedding in detail, asking for the colour scheme, if it would be traditional or modern, whether Chanyeol had booked somewhere for the honeymoon… A familiar pressure was building in Baekhyun’s chest with every detail he learned about the wedding he tried _not_ to think too much about, pushing against his heart and lungs. When his Father asked who the best man would be and Chanyeol proudly gestured towards Baekhyun, he was sure his ribs would crack from the pressure. 

_Best man._ It hurt. It hurt _so_ _much_ …

“What about you son? When are _you_ going to find yourself a pretty girl and settle down?” His dad asked suddenly.

Baekhyun didn’t dare look at Chanyeol as he forced a smile to his lips.

“I haven’t met anyone yet.” He answered.

“How can that be? You’re so handsome when you’re not all black and blue! Do the girls in Seoul think he is handsome, Chanyeol-ah?” His mother asked with a frown.

“They do, aunty.” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol answer.

The pressure in his chest was making him feel hollow, like he would break apart. His forced smile was making his face numb and he wondered if his expression appeared as tormented as he felt inwardly. He worked to keep it relaxed but it was difficult because his pain wasn’t just in his mind but a physical thing that was slowly mocking him. _Pretty girl. Best man. Married_ …

“You should start looking seriously. When Baekbeom was your age he was engaged already!” His mum scolded lightly.

“These things can’t be rushed, mum.”

“I know that,but you're almost _30_ I just want to meet your children before I am too old is all...” She sighed wistfully.

Baekhyun laughed and told his mum she wasn’t old. His voice sounded good – normal even and he was sure that neither she nor his Father could detect that there was anything wrong with him, that he didn’t feel like his heart was being stabbed repeatedly. But _Chanyeol_ would know, which was why Baekhyun still didn’t dare to look at him. He was scared to see pity in his eyes, or even worse – _concern_. God he didn’t want that. So Baekhyun forced himself to act through their meal, laughing when he was expected to, smiling at his Mother and Father’s stories of his niece and nephew, answering when he was expected to, joining in with their recollections of his and Chanyeol’s student life.

It was almost like it was someone _else_ doing it, as though he was having some weird out of body experience. The one sat at the table, laughing, smiling and talking with his parents and Chanyeol couldn’t be _him,_ not when his heart was aching with so much pain it was a miracle he wasn’t curled in a ball somewhere sobbing. But he’d felt like this for so long now that it was nothing new to him and he was able to mask his feelings well. He’d actually _conditioned_ himself to almost isolate it, so he appeared to function normally _outwardly_ while inwardly he was being torn apart again and again. The pain of unrequited love, the agony that Chanyeol would _never_ love him back the way he wanted to, that he loved someone else, _wanted_ someone else, was eating him up. But now it was mixed with the overwhelming pressure of his parents’ expectations and the guilt that he’d _never_ live up to them. He’d never marry a woman like his brother had and have a wife who would give birth to grandchildren for them.

That wouldn’t be _his_ future.

“Are you sure you can’t stay the night?” His mum asked as they bid their farewells after eating.

“I have work tomorrow.” Chanyeol said regrettably, while Baekhyun hugged his mother.

“And I have a lot of documents I need to read through.” He said.

“Well, make sure you visit us again sooner.” His dad said, pulling him into an embrace.

Baekhyun promised he would. Waving at them from the passenger seat as Chanyeol turned the car around, he exhaled slowly as their home disappeared from the side mirror view. The pressure in his chest had barely lifted and though he was feeling a little more stable, his heart still ached.

“About what your mum said…” Chanyeol began, but Baekhyun shook his head.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You have to tell them eventually, Baek. They’ll understand.”

But Baekhyun didn’t want to even _think_ about it. His parents weren’t homophobes, but he knew it would still hurt them nevertheless to know that he liked men. What parent _wouldn’t_ be upset to hear it? He didn’t dare to tell them. He didn’t _want_ to tell them. To have them think badly of him, to know they didn’t approve or accept who he was… He wouldn’t be able to live with it.

“Because it’s _no big deal_ , right?” Baekhyun said, his tone bitter.

Chanyeol was silent while Baekhyun glared out the window, his mood souring at repeating those words Chanyeol had told him. They hadn’t even been driving long when suddenly Chanyeol pulled over and stopped the car, even killing the engine so they were plunged in darkness, since there were no streetlights on these country roads. Baekhyun glanced at the darkness around them. Even the moon was hidden, since the clouds were so thick and dark.

“Wha—Why did you stop?” He frowned.

Then he felt a hand on the nape of his neck and he froze instinctively. Chanyeol rubbed gently, long fingers massaging him before moving up into the hair at the back of his scalp sending tingles down Baekhyun’s spine. He made a small noise of approval that he hoped Chanyeol didn’t hear.

“Tell me what I can do to make you better.” Chanyeol begged in the silence.

Baekhyun closed his eyes. “I’m fine. I just… You heard what my mum said. I don’t want to _disappoint_ them. I couldn’t bare it.”

“Your parents are probably the best people I’ve ever met. They’ll still love you if you told them, Baek. You _know_ that.”

“Yeah… But that doesn’t mean they won’t be disappointed. I’m not like my Hyung; I’m not a Manager at a big company, I don’t own my own house, have a beautiful wife and two cute kids. I’ll _never_ have that to show them, I’ll never have children of my own for them to love. How could they _not_ be disappointed?”

Chanyeol was silent for a moment before asking, “Is that all there is to life?”

“You can talk, you have all that… Or you _will_ have.” Baekhyun was proud that the words didn’t come out bitter or resentful.

“None of that is a standard, though. There’s _no_ set mould for life or rules that say you _need_ to have a house, wife and 2 kids to be successful. Loads of people have that and are miserable. The way I see it is you have a business that is doing well, one that you have established _yourself_. You aren’t short on money; you’re renting a big apartment in Seoul and you have good friends around you – _one_ who is absolutely amazing, incredibly handsome and who would do anything for you.” Baekhyun let out a snort at this. “To me, _that_ shows you’re pretty successful. If you’re _happy_ then your parents will accept _anything_ because that’s all they really want from you.”

“...Since when were you this profound?”

“Fuck off. I’ve _always_ been like this.” Chanyeol sniffed. “Look Baek, you have to do it eventually; it’ll only keep hurting _you_ the longer you leave it.” Baekhyun _knew_ that, but it still didn’t make it any easier. “Do you want me to be there when you tell them?”

“No!” Baekhyun blurted, before cringing.

Chanyeol chuckled. “Okay. But promise me when you _do_ decide to tell them you’ll let me know.”

Baekhyun agreed he would, though he was secretly planning to not tell him. It was embarrassing enough that Chanyeol had to listen to his parents inquire about his love life, knowing as he did that the one Baekhyun loved the most was _him_. If his parents knew… He wondered whether his mother and father would treat Chanyeol so well. _Could_ they be nice to someone who brought their son both joy and agony simultaneously? Baekhyun didn’t want to know. His parent’s affection for Chanyeol wasn’t something he ever wanted to jeopardise because he knew how much they meant to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol started the engine and Baekhyun closed his eyes, resting his head against the window.

They had a long drive home.


	13. Chapter 13

[ **13.** **Baekhyun** ]  


It rained when they reached the outskirts of Seoul. Thick, heavy droplets against the window, merging to run down the glass like the heavens were crying. Baekhyun watched the droplets quietly, the sound of the patter almost peaceful. He and Chanyeol hadn’t spoken during the drive home, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Baekhyun wished he knew what his friend was thinking, but at the same time he wasn’t sure he _ever_ wanted to get a look in Chanyeol’s head. But it wasn’t like Baekhyun’s head was any clearer. He’d spent the journey thinking about everything; his own situation with his parents, his unrequited love – even his business and his future. It was a lot and he wasn’t even sure how to get some semblance of order for his chaotic thoughts.

Hence why he was watching _rain_ so intently.

But soon the rain stopped as the car pulled inside the underground carpark of Chanyeol’s building and Baekhyun looked around with a sigh of resignation. Reality wasn't something he could avoid forever and though Chanyeol had dropped the topic of coming out to his parents, Baekhyun still had to face the obvious truth that he was in love with his best friend who didn't love him back. _This_ reality was one that was causing him the most grief, the one that really had no solution. 

“You could’ve dropped me off home.” He said as he obediently got out the car.

“Why? You’re staying at mine until you’re healed.”

“Says who?”

Chanyeol gave him a wink. “ _Me_.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at the arrogance in that answer, but he didn’t argue against it. From the mirror inside the elevator he could see himself and Chanyeol clearly and was slightly surprised by the striking differences between them. They were dressed somewhat similarly, but the _feeling_ was completely different. On Baekhyun, his thick red jumper and dark jeans looked ordinary, but Chanyeol… _he_ could never be described as simply _ordinary_. The black turtleneck jumper hugged his wide chest and seemed to emphasise the broadness of his shoulders and the muscles of his arms. Though the simple black turtleneck and jean combo was harmless it did little to hide the naturally restrained hard edge Chanyeol possessed, the darkness he harboured that was unquestionably lethal. Anyone who looked at him could tell he wasn't someone they wanted to mess with. 

Chanyeol was of course taller, with Baekhyun’s eyes level with his chin, but even with that minimal difference Baekhyun still looked _small_ next to Chanyeol. And soft. His arms weren’t puny, but compared to Chanyeol’s they were thinner, his whole body tiny in comparison, shoulders not as broad, chest not as firm or muscular, body leaner. He wanted to sigh, because really was it any wonder his father made those comments? Maybe Baekhyun really _should_ hit the gym…

When the elevator brought them up into Chanyeol’s, the doors opened to reveal Rose standing in Chanyeol’s lobby taking them both by surprise. The bright smile on her face somewhat dimmed when she spotted Baekhyun. In turn Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he froze instinctively, suddenly feeling like he was doing something wrong. 

“Oppa! Are you okay?” She asked in concern as she got a good look at his messed-up face.

“I’m fine… Thank you for the concern.” Baekhyun answered carefully.

“I’m glad.” She smiled kindly, before moving her eyes to her fiancé. They lit up excitedly and she moved to his side. “I _missed you._ I’ve been waiting for you, where have you been?” She asked as she leaned up and kissed him, pressing her glossy lips against his unresponsive ones.

“I’ve been busy.” Chanyeol answered coolly.

This, of course, was Baekhyun’s cue to _leave_. He turned his body to sneak back to the elevator but Chanyeol was quicker, his hand reaching out and grabbing Baekhyun’s good wrist, holding him firmly in place. Rose clearly caught the movement, her eyes darting between them for a moment before she smiled again, grabbing Chanyeol's other arm.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know _you’d_ be here with Chanyeol, Oppa…”

Baekhyun averted his eyes sheepishly. “Actually, I was about to—”

“He’s staying here while his injuries heal.” Chanyeol said, sliding his left arm out of Rose’s hold. He was still gripping Baekhyun’s wrist with his right hand and he pulled him back with him as he took a step away from her. “I told you I’d come and see you tomorrow.”

“No. You said you’d come when you _had_ _time_. But I didn’t know _when_ that would be.” Rose pouted. “You’ve not answered your phone _all day_ and your receptionist said you’d taken the day off, so I had no way of getting hold of you…”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to at least send me a _text_?”

“I told you not to involve yourself with my business.”

“But you weren’t working today.” She pointed out stubbornly. Chanyeol’s jaw clenched and she crossed her arms in reaction, her eyes narrowing. “ _What_ were you busy with?” Chanyeol didn’t answer. “If you won’t tell me then I’m sure Oppa will, _right_ _Oppa_?”

Baekhyun looked between them both, thoroughly uneasy now at the weird atmosphere between them. They weren't raising their tones or even particularly arguing. If anything they both spoke like they were having a casual conversation, but the feeling was tense and uncomfortable. Rose's statement had been directed at him but she didn't look at him at all, her entire focus on Chanyeol. He had the sudden urge to run away and actually backed up a few steps towards the elevator again, but Chanyeol’s grip was firm, not letting him escape.

“It’s late and I’ve been travelling for most of the day. You should leave and I’ll see you _tomorrow_.” Chanyeol spoke, his tone firm.

Baekhyun averted his gaze at the flash of hurt in Rose’s expression and kept his eyes locked on the wall. From the corner of his eye he watched her walk by him and into the elevator. Only when the doors clicked softly shut did Baekhyun turn to give Chanyeol a scowl, yanking his wrist free.

“ _That_ was awkward.” He snapped. “Why the Hell didn’t you just let me go home so you two could talk it out?”

“There was nothing to discuss.”

“She wanted an explanation about today! You could have just _told_ her where we'd gone instead of being so damn short with her.”

“Because it's _my_ business. I explicitly told her _not_ to come here unannounced. She knew you were staying with me and she knows I’m busy. I don't _owe_ her an explanation. Her coming here tonight was completely unnecessary.”

“She’s your _fiancé_!”

“And?”

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, completely lost for words. He understood that couples fought, even his parents as loved up as they were after all these years occasionally fought. But what he’d just witnessed… It didn’t feel like an argument between couples. Something felt _off_ about it, even about how calm Rose had been when faced with this arrogant and imposing best friend of his in full asshole mode. Like she wasn't _actually_ fazed at all. 

“She could have stayed for a bit; it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Baek, it’s almost _12am_. She wouldn’t be staying for a bit, she was hoping to _stay over_.”

 _That_ was something Baekhyun hadn’t factored in – the time. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist and felt his brows lower. He’d not been paying attention to the time when they’d left his parents, other than to know it was dark and clearly evening. His parents small farm was a four-and-a-half-hour drive away, if traffic leaving Seoul was kind. When they’d left this morning it had been around 10am and they’d not reached the farm until almost 3pm. When they’d left it must have been around 7.30pm after they’d eaten. For Rose to be here _this_ late it really was obvious she had not stopped for a passing visit.

“Should you really be sending her off alone at this time?” Baekhyun worried now.

“She has her driver.”

Chanyeol kicked off his shoes and swapped them for his slippers, shuffling towards the sofa and sinking down on it with a long sigh. Baekhyun couldn’t blame him – he’d spent almost 9 hours driving today, just so _he_ could see his parents. He wasn’t sure what had prompted this visit, or why Chanyeol had changed his mind about letting him go, but he was grateful for it so he decided to drop the Rose subject. Really, their relationship wasn’t his responsibility anyway. He went to join Chanyeol on the sofa. They’d spent the last four hours sat down but they were both still exhausted. Baekhyun leaned his head back and closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Hey Baek.” Chanyeol’s voice broke through the comfortable silence between them.

“Hmm?”

“Come here.”

Baekhyun opened his eyes and glanced at Chanyeol at the other side of the sofa. He was watching him from his reclining position, expression expectant. Slowly Baekhyun crawled towards him until they were side by side. Chanyeol grabbed his waist and tugged him, positioning them so Chanyeol was laid on his back and Baekhyun was half on top of him, his back to the sofa but his head on Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol had his arms wrapped around Baekhyun’s back, holding him securely against him.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

“I want to cuddle my best friend, is that a crime?” Chanyeol retorted.

But being in this position after what had happened last night, one of Chanyeol’s arms on his back while the other stroked through his hair… Baekhyun couldn’t do it. His body was aching and hardening, his brain once again giving vivid replays of what had happened in the bathroom. He sat up and scooted away from Chanyeol with frustration.

“I _told you_ I can’t do it.” Baekhyun told him coldly.

Chanyeol sat up and stared at him in confusion.

“Why?” The clueless idiot, asked.

This Guy… Despite the years of experience Chanyeol had on Baekhyun in relationships, he really _was_ dense. Baekhyun couldn’t take it anymore. With a scowl of frustration he grabbed Chayeol’s hand and pressed it against his hardened dick over his jeans. He felt Chanyeol’s fingers flex and watched his eyes widen in understanding.

A bitter smile curled on Baekhyun’s lips. “ _That’s_ why.”

Chanyeol was watching him now, his expression completely unreadable. Baekhyun was tensing his body, preparing himself to leave and retreat to his bedroom when Chanyeol’s hand that was still cupping his dick suddenly began to move, rubbing it over his jeans. Now it was Baekhyun’s eyes that widened.

“ _Yeol_ …”

“I told you. I don’t do anything I don’t want to.” Chanyeol said.

Then he grabbed Baekhyun with his free hand and pulled him back towards him so that Baekhyun was this time straddling his thighs. Baekhyun yelped and rested his hands on Chanyeol’s shoulders as his friend sat up and began to unbutton Baekhyun’s jeans and tug down the zipper. Any embarrassment Baekhyun was feeling vanished when Chanyeol’s hand slipped into his open jean fly and his fingertips brushed against his cock over his boxers. A whimper escaped Baekhyun’s lips and his hips rocked seemingly of their own accord, his dick chasing further contact.

“Sit up.” Chanyeol instructed.

Baekhyun knelt and Chanyeol yanked down his jeans, which only made it to his spread thighs before inevitably getting stuck. Impatiently Baekhyun stood up and kicked them off, but the moment he did he found himself stood awkwardly, suddenly feeling foolish. Chanyeol reached for him again, gripping the edge of his boxers and pulling them down before he could fully freak out and Baekhyun didn’t resist, lifting his legs to kick them off. But with them off and him naked from the waist down, Baekhyun became nervous that with his cock basically at Chanyeol’s eye level, he’d be completely disgusted by the sight of his desire for him so up close and personal.

He knew his cheeks had to be red from how embarrassed he was feeling, but when he met Chanyeol’s gaze, he found he wasn’t looking at his hardness at all, but at his _face_. His expression was also completely blank, not giving anything away as to what he was feeling. Once again Baekhyun wished he could know what he was thinking, because right now it was like Chanyeol himself had gone on autopilot. To be honest, Baekhyun was so mentally drained that he didn’t have it in him anymore to overthink this – at least not at that moment. So he let it happen. He always wanted Chanyeol to touch him, to be like _this_ with him and for once Baekhyun wanted to pretend it was for the _right_ reasons.

Chanyeol guided him back to his lap so once again Baekhyun was straddling his thighs. He hissed when Chanyeol’s hands closed around his cock and began to rub it briskly, this time without the hesitation from last night. Baekhyun whimpered and leaned his head forward on Chanyeol’s shoulder, the feeling as amazing as it had been last time. His eyes closed as he basked in the sensation, his body almost feeling like jelly and his mind turning to a senseless mush as Chanyeol set a fast almost brutal rhythm.

There was none of the build up from last night and Baekhyun knew he was already so _close_. With his hips on either side of Chanyeol’s thighs he found himself rolling them, thrusting into the hand holding him almost impatiently. He felt frenzied for his release, from the feeling of Chanyeol stroking him so intimately. When Chanyeol’s thumb suddenly circled the head of his cock he gasped, his neck stretching as he came embarrassingly fast. His body shuddered and he choked on a gasp as he sank against Chanyeol’s chest panting heavily.

“Oh God.” He managed to croak out.

Chanyeol’s hand that had been wrapped around his back rose and began to brush the hair from his sweaty face tenderly. Opening his eyes Baekhyun looked up at him and shuddered, because Chanyeol’s expression wasn’t blank anymore, but that didn’t make it any easier to read. His gaze was sweeping over Baekhyun’s face, taking in his bright eyes, flushed cheeks and parted pink lips as he caught his breath. Then Chanyeol did something he didn't expect; he leaned forward and pressed his own lips against Baekhyuns. 

Compared to the heat of Baekhyun’s flushed face, Chanyeol’s lips were cool and Baekhyun sighed against them. He began to respond eagerly, blood pounding in his ears as he thrust his fingers into Chanyeol’s gelled hair, messing it up completely and kissing him hard, thrusting his tongue into his mouth, tasting him and _savouring_ it. He whimpered as he sucked Chanyeol’s tongue, his body physically shaking and trembling from the after shudders of his orgasm mixed with the pleasure of this simple kiss.

But despite how nice it felt, he was the first to pull away, gaze roaming over Chanyeol’s face looking for a sign he was at least enjoying this and not simply enduring it, because although Chanyeol had initiated the kiss, he didn't take it further than just pressing his lips against Baekhyun's. The rest had purely been his _own_ lust taking over. Chanyeol’s expression was unreadable as usual, though there was a dark gleam in his eyes that gave Baekhyun a hint of hope, because it _hadn’t_ been there the other times they’d kissed.

He swallowed thickly and glanced down. Chanyeol’s jeans had a bulge, but _not_ because he was turned on – it was just because he happened to be blessed in that area. But maybe Baekhyun could make _him_ hard… His left hand released Chanyeol’s hair and travelled down the soft material of the turtleneck covering his chest to the waistband of his jeans, his own heart in his throat at his bold move.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asked, his tone almost monotone.

“It’s _my_ turn.” Baekhyun said with a confidence he certainly didn’t feel.

He crawled off Chanyeol’s thighs and began to unbutton his jeans, the fingers of his splinted hand weaker than the others making the progress somewhat clumsy. Once the button was undone he pulled down the zipper, the sound of the metal rasping seeming to echo in the silence of the room. He noted in the back of his mind that Chanyeol wasn’t stopping him as he tugged at the waistband, forcing them down exposing strong, powerful thighs. Pulling them completely off he was left with Chanyeol’s black boxers and his hands trembled as he reached towards them. Once they were off, he sucked in a breath as Chanyeol’s soft dick was revealed.

Baekhyun reminded himself to _breathe_ as he straddled Chanyeol’s legs. The truth was, he was afraid that at any moment now Chanyeol would regain his sense and refuse him, so he felt he had to act quickly. Leaning forward and keeping his eyes on Chanyeol’s, making sure to take note of his reaction, he licked the tip of his cock experimentally. Immediately it jumped under his touch and Chanyeol’s right eye twitched. Encouraged when he wasn’t immediately shoved away in disgust, Baekhyun leaned back down and took the head into his mouth, sucking on it gently. He heard and _felt_ Chanyeol draw in a sharp breath, the cock in his mouth beginning to harden causing Baekhyun to have to lift his head to follow it. He would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so fascinated by the reaction.

Because _he’d_ made it happen. Chanyeol was hardening because of _him_.

Feeling emboldened now, Baekhyun swirled his tongue around the head, wetting it before slowly sliding it further into his mouth, his eyes finally closing as the tip hit the back of his throat and he momentarily gagged around it. He felt Chanyeol’s legs stiffen under him and he quickly took it back into his mouth, bobbing his head as he lapped at the head with relish. Chanyeol’s girth was making his jaw ache, but it was an ache he’d endure forever, the length making it almost impossible for him to take it fully into his mouth, so he gripped the base with his left hand, movements as clumsy as they’d been on himself. He pumped it lightly, the skin between his thumb and finger brushing his lips every time he tried to take Chanyeol deeply.

It was difficult to breathe, since his nose was still filled with packing and swollen, but Baekhyun likes the suffocated feeling. It actually spurred him on _more_ , making him test how long he could hold his breath while sucking Chanyeol's dick before he was forced to come up for air. A dangerous game, but it gave him a secret thrill. 

He wasn’t sure how long he did this before _finally_ , Chanyeol reacted. A gust of breath blew against Baekhyun’s forehead, prompting him to look up. When his eyes met Chanyeol’s he couldn’t help the moan that escaped his throat because Chanyeol… He certainly _didn’t_ look unaffected anymore. His eyes were dark, jaw clenched, and the tips of his ears were flushed red. His hand rose to Baekhyun’s head, fingernails scraping over his scalp sending shivers down his spine before they moved down so he was cupping his jaw. Baekhyun stopped his bobbing under the affectionate gesture and Chanyeol’s dick slipped from his slacked mouth. Chanyeol continued to caress his face with a gentleness that made Baekhyun’s heart clench, fingers running over his bruising, eyes still showing that delicious darkness.

Suddenly his thumb brushed over Baekhyun’s wet lips, smearing his saliva down his chin in a gesture so erotic that it made Baekhyun’s breath hitch. He watched in fascination as Chanyeol’s gaze seemed to heat with a hunger he’d never seen before as his eyes followed his thumbs movement, lips parting as his breath came out harsher and deeper. _That look_ …

Just as Baekhyun was about to gather the courage to attempt to _lick_ Chanyeol’s thumb, Chanyeol gripped his jaw tighter and brought his face back down to his hard dick. Obediently Baekhyun parted his lips and took it back into his mouth, causing Chanyeol to let out a grunt. Closing his eyes, encouraged by this, Baekhyun began to suck more enthusiastically, taking it without complaint as Chanyeol began to thrust against him. The hand holding his jaw moved back to his hair again, this time to grip it, forcing Baekhyun’s head down to meet his thrusts. Baekhyun gagged a few times, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, but he soon learned to relax his throat, hands gripping Chanyeol’s thighs now to ground himself as Chanyeol literally _fucked_ himself into Baekhyun's willing mouth.

Above him he could hear Chanyeol’s rough pants, feel the fingers in his hair tightening, the thighs under him tensing. It was the only warning he got before Chanyeol came, his body jerking as hot, thick liquid hit the back of Baekhyun’s throat. His groan seemed to echo in Baekhyun’s ears, the sound the most _erotic_ one he’d ever heard. Then Chanyeol seemed to deflate completely, his body relaxing back with a content sigh, the hand in Baekhyun’s hair falling limply to his chest. Baekhyun pulled his mouth away from the softening cock with harsh pants as he inhaled in much needed oxygen, swallowing Chanyeol’s come and licking his lips clean.

Chanyeol watched him, still breathing heavily, head resting back and eyes half-lidded. Before Baekhyun could predictably react and freak out, Chanyeol grabbed his arms and tugged him down so he crashed against his chest. Immediately Baekhyun relaxed against him, his ear on Chanyeol’s chest listening to his rapid heartbeat. Chanyeol was stroking his hair again, the touch tender.

Baekhyun closed his eyes as tiredness overwhelmed him, his body completely lax and sated from his own orgasm. Tomorrow, he decided. _Tomorrow_ he’d freak out...


	14. Chapter 14

[ **14.** **Baekhyun** ]  


“You did _what_?”

Baekhyun gave Taeyeon a warning look and glanced around the café nervously. A few other customers had looked their way at her outburst but quickly averted their nosy gazes when they met Baekhyun’s eyes, taking in his bust-up appearance and seemingly coming to the conclusion he was a troublemaker. Clearly this conversation he was having currently _wasn’t_ helping his image either, but it couldn’t be helped — he’d needed to talk with someone about what had happened.

Taeyeon was completely oblivious to the looks of those around them, her eyes wide as she processed everything Baekhyun had just told her, seeming stupefied. It was only 8am still and he assumed her lack of reaction was down to being told something so racy when she’d only been awake just an hour, having been woken up by a somewhat panicking Baekhyun after he’d got up to find himself alone — and therefore alone with his _own_ dark thoughts. Baekhyun watched her, sipping his ice latte with trepidation.

“You little _slut_!” She finally declared, shaking her head. “Damn Baek, I didn’t think you were _that_ bold.”

“Yeah well that makes two of us.” He sighed, using his fork to poke at his cake slice.

"Did you..." She wiggled her eyebrows. "... _Swallow_?" Mouth popping open at how shameless she was, Baekhyun balled up his napkin and hurled it at her. She caught it and laughed as she tossed it back to him. "That's a _yes_ , then!"

"You're focusing on the wrong parts!" He scolded.

"Fine, sorry. I'll be serious." She leaned closer to him over the small round table. “Was it _good_?” He flushed, averting his eyes to the cake and she laughed again. “It _so_ was!”

“I obviously can’t say whether _he_ enjoyed it though. When I woke up this morning he was gone.”

“He came, didn’t he? That means he enjoyed it.”

Baekhyun shook his head sadly. “That doesn’t mean anything. I read somewhere that even rape victims can come when stimulated.”

The humour vanished from Taeyeon's eyes and she leaned across the table to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. He looked up, meeting her fierce gaze.

“You stop right there, Byun Baekhyun. He clearly consented so don’t you _dare_ think like that.”

“Did he, though? He never said it verbally. I just… Did it.”

His tone was laced with bitterness and guilt. He remembered the way he’d impulsively sucked Chanyeol off and regretted that he hadn’t talked it through with him first. Instead he'd just done what he’d wanted to do in the spur of the moment in some crazy attempt to elicit a reaction. He’d got one, alright. But it _still_ didn’t mean anything. He’d been tormenting himself this morning, even going as far as to go to Naver for advice. What he’d read there had made his blood run cold and his chest feel heavy, because everything he researched only confirmed his worst fears; Chanyeol hadn’t been reacting to _him_ but just to being stimulated.

According to what he'd read, guys in particular could get off with just about _anyone_ , attraction be damned. In fact, the probability that Chanyeol had been imagining it was someone _else_ was high, which of course soured his mood even further. In fact, _everything_ he'd read pointed out that the chances of Chanyeol having regrets today were high. Was _that_ why he'd left so early this morning, even earlier than usual? Because he couldn’t stand to even be near Baekhyun for a second longer?

“Stop that.” She snapped.

“Stop what?”

“ _Overthinking_! I can see you doing it!”

“I can’t help it!” He whined, leaning back in his chair heavily and releasing her hand. “I told you this morning, my heads a complete mess!”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. That’s the most fucked up part, Tae. I _loved_ it.”

She took a quick sip of her own drink. “Then what’s the issue?”

“… I feel like I’ve taken advantage of him.”

“Do you think he took advantage of _you_?”

“No!” He said firmly.

Taeyeon watched him for a moment before letting out a sigh. "He touched you, you touched him. Honestly Baek, that’s what happens when two people are in the mood."

“The two instances are completely different. _I’m_ in love with him and actually attracted to him, he’s… _Not_.”

“He got it up. He’s definitely attracted to you."

“He only got it up when I… _You know."_ He glanced around quickly and lowered his voice. "Used my mouth.”

"He kissed you."

"He's kissed me _before_ too and it didn't mean anything."

“So what? You think he was just humouring you?” Baekhyun nodded dejectedly. “Baek, _he_ initiated touching _you_. _He_ was the one who made things sexual, _not_ you. No one could initiate something like that if they didn’t at least find the person physically appealing.”

“He was just helping me out because my wrist is injured.”

Taeyeon scoffed again and gave him a look like he was an idiot. “There’s a limit time what friends will do for one another. Take _us_ for example. If I say to you that I _really_ miss penetrative sex, will you help _me_ out?”

Baekhyun frowned. “Why would _you_ miss that? You don’t even _like_ guys.”

“Lesbians can still like it.”

“Huh? How’s that even possible?”

Taeyeon stared at him incredulously. “You’re not serious are you?” But it was clear from his expression he was. “Have you never heard of sex toys? Vibrators? Dildos? _Strap ons_?”

“I mean, I guess. I just figured _you_ wouldn’t be into that sort of stuff.”

“…Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you like girls?”

“And? I still like to get _fucked_! Jesus Baek what planet do you live on?”

He flushed and went back to poking the cake slice. “Shut up.”

It wasn't _his_ fault he wasn't well versed in the world of sex. He'd spent his adolescence infatuated with Chanyeol and then twenties in love with him. Watching X-rated videos had never appealed to him much, nor had listening to other people’s sexual experiences. He knew _of_ things, he wasn't completely ignorant, but his knowledge was limited, especially in regard to Lesbian relationships. Taeyeon was the only Lesbian he'd met — that he _knew_ of, of course. Taeyeon looked at him with fondness before shaking her head.

“Look, what I’m _trying_ to say is what he did isn’t something you do with someone who is _just_ your friend. _I_ wouldn’t give you a hand job to help you out even if you _begged_ me.”

“Some friend you are…” He joked half-heartedly.

“Fine. Then will you help _me_ out?”

Baekhyun’s face twisted in disgust. “No.”

“ _Exactly_. There’s a line friends do _not_ cross, no matter how close they are. I’m not trying to give you hope or stroke your ego, I’m being practical; what happened isn’t something _friends_ do. Chanyeol can keep denying it until he’s blue in the face but the truth of the matter is he has to see you as something _more_ than a friend to do the things he did off his own back.”

“He only sees me as a friend.” Baekhyun protested stubornly.

“Would he help his _other_ friends out like that?”

“No.”

“Then what does that tell you?”

“… That he sees me as a _really_ close friend.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. “Fine, keep telling yourself that. But even if he _was_ just helping out a _really close friend_ by giving you a hand job in the bathroom, what’s his excuse for last night, huh?”

Baekhyun considered what she was saying and frowned. Last night… Chanyeol really _had_ been the one who started their intimacy. Baekhyun may have tried to shock him by showing him how turned on their touching made him, but he’d in no way been coming onto Chanyeol. If anything, he’d been using it to make a point as to why they _shouldn’t_ touch. And when Baekhyun had sucked him off… He knew in his heart he’d sensed something between them. The way Chanyeol had stroked his face, even the way he’d _looked_ at him. Baekhyun had thought he had sensed a subtle shift between them but was beginning to second guess it as wishful thinking in the heat of the moment. It just wasn't logical, he knew, and all he was doing was getting his hopes up.

“I don’t know."

"Then what makes you so convinced it meant nothing to him?"

"It's so difficult to explain... He just _stares_ at me when he touches me, his face so impossible to read and it freaks me out, because it makes me think he secretly _hates_ touching me but doesn’t want to upset me by saying it and then I feel so fucking guilty." He drew in a sharp breath and glared down at the destroyed cake slice for a moment, lost in his thoughts as he tried to put into a words a gut feeling. "But when I think of the way he fucked my mouth… It makes me want to drop to my knees in front of him again because it was the most _amazing_ thing _ever_."

"That good?"

"You have no idea Tae. Doing that with him just felt so right. _He_ felt so right. I honestly could—" He stopped abruptly, his cheeks once again turning red. "—But I don't think it was just _me_. _He_ seemed into it, too, but there was a look in his eyes... I can’t explain it clearly, but it makes me think that maybe he was angry somehow.”

"Like he was angry he was enjoying it?" Baekhyun nodded. “Damn… An angry blow job. You guys are _wild_.”

“ _Tae_!”

“Sorry! Okay, if you think maybe he’s angry when he’s doing _those_ things, then the way I see it is he won’t be angry at _you_. More than likely he’s angry at _himself_ for whatever reason.”

“This is why I’m scared to read too much into it.” He admitted. “I’m not sure I _want_ to know the answer.”

“I know, and that’s why I don’t want to give you any false hope. What he did might have been a major step, but he’s still _Park Chanyeol_. His brain clearly doesn’t function like a regular persons.”

“Then what should I do?”

Taeyeon sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know. The guys weird, even by other _fucked—up—guy_ standards.”

Baekhyun had to agree with that because he himself had thought on occasion that Chanyeol _was_ strange.

"You look awful, by the way." Taeyeon suddenly said.

"Thanks?"

She grinned. "I'd be a shit friend if I didn't tell you the truth."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and wanted to make a comment back about her appearance, but considering she'd literally left her bed to rush here to meet him, Taeyeon looked _amazing_ , as usual. He wished his friend could find someone soon because in his eyes, she was the _perfect_ package. He had no clue who the one who had hurt her was, but in Baekhyun's heart he felt whoever they were couldn't be all that great to pine over if they couldn't even recognise Taeyeon's merits. She was hardworking, smart, down to earth, witty, caring, straightforward, an awesome friend and was, quite frankly, as beautiful on the _inside_ as she was on the _outside_. What kind of person _could_ reject her? To him it didn't make sense.

The two of them chatted a little longer, this time over more PG topics involving her work in China before they left to go to Baekhyun’s 9am Doctor appointment. Baekhyun was having the packing removed from his nose, which had reduced a significant amount in swelling. The bruising under his eyes was still purple, but it was beginning to show a hint of greenish yellow, finally proving it was beginning to heal. With the packing gone, his nose just felt sniffly, like he was suffering from a cold, but he could breathe now without discomfort. The doctor put a simple plaster over the bridge to hide the worst of the bruising, since that area was still red.

His wrist, however, would need to be in the splint a little longer since it was still tender and slightly swollen.

“I understand you’re a healthy young man, but you really need to stop putting strain on the joint when doing _that_.”

Baekhyun stared for a moment, not comprehending. The Doctor cleared his throat and turned around to clear away the mess of bloody packing that had been in his nose.

“I’m sure your _nightly_ _activities_ can wait until the splints off, or you should at least, ah, be a little gentler...” He explained.

Baekhyun’s cheeks flamed and he quickly promised quietly, shooting Taeyeon a sour look as she began to snigger, badly disguising it as a cough.

“You heard the Doctor, Baek. No _overworking_ your wrist!” Taeyeon laughed as they finally left, clearly still amused.

Baekhyun flashed her a grin. “Are _you_ going to help me then?”

“You have a _close_ friend for that!”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh with her, because although the situation between him and Chanyeol certainly _wasn’t_ funny, Taeyeon’s good mood was infectious. As the pair walked leisurely, planning to scope out other independent clothing stores to see Baekhyun’s competition, his phone rang. Seeing it was one of his store employees Baekhyun quickly answered, since it was rare for her to call him. Moments later he stopped walking and his phone dropped from his fingers. Taeyeon immediately responded, picking up his phone and speaking to the person still on the line while Baekhyun stood numbly next to her, his eyes wide but unseeing. He was aware of Taeyeon grabbing his arm and speaking to him in a high, urgent tone, but her words didn't register with him.

Time seemed to move in slow motion, or at least it did for _him._ He allowed Taeyeon to pull him into a taxi she flagged down, the ten-minute drive seeming endless. When they arrived, he stepped out of the taxi to the wails and blare of emergency service vehicles, the loud curious chatter of onlookers and the shouts of reporters. The air was warm, and it was the smell that hit him first, that made it seem _real_ , until his eyes focused. He must have made a sound of distress because Taeyeon grasped his hand, holding it firmly.

“Oh Baek…” She whispered.

Standing amongst the crowd, Baekhyun watched as Firefighters battled to put out the blazing inferno that was his store. Because the street it was on was quite narrow they'd actually sealed it off on either side five stores down from the fire for safety reasons, but it also meant everyone was packed together like sardines as they watched. The fire engine was to his left and he could hear the water rushing through the hose, which was being aimed at the flames though seemed to be doing so little. His whole store was alight, the flames stretching out to the two stores on either side and up to engulf the apartments that also sat above them. Pushing his way to the front of the crowd he could see the orange flames more clearly, smoke gushing out of the windows, the glass having already shattered under the pressure of the heat and smoke. Another hand grabbed his arm and shook him, prompting him to turn his head slowly towards his employee, Minae, who had called him. She was red faced, tears staining her cheeks which were also blackened with smoke.

“I’m so sorry.” She cried, shaking his arm. “It was already on fire when I got here this morning. I don’t know what happened, I called 119 as fast as I could—”

“Are _you_ okay?” Taeyeon asked worriedly as Minae began to suddenly cough.

“I’m fine. But the _other_ person… They… They…”

“She’s still not been found?”

Minae shook her head, eyes filled with tears. She began to cry again and an EMT coaxed her back to one of the ambulances stood on standby. She left after apologising a few more times between coughs, her head down. Baekhyun shuddered and took a step back from the barricade the onlookers were gathered around, police working to keep them back. It was a chilly morning but the heat from the fire before him was making him sweat. He took another step back, almost tripping over the person behind him.

“Hey watch it!” The man snapped, pushing Baekhyun aside to get a closer look at the chaos.

Taeyeon shot the man a glare for his rudeness, but she didn’t remove her hand from Baekhyun’s, keeping him steady as he stumbled away from the crowd, no longer able to stand it. She led him across the street, out of the crowd but still in view of his store burning. He stared at it almost unblinkingly. It took them almost three hours to put out the flames and Baekhyun watched the whole time in complete silence, his heart heavy. Taeyeon stood with him, leaving only once to get him a facemask due to the heavy smoke in the air. When the flames finally dispersed, leaving the shop a hollow structure and those on either side blackened, only _then_ did Baekhyun move. He went to the police station, where after showing proof of ownership of the store he was told what the police knew so far from Minae’s statement.

She had been running late to open this morning due to traffic. Instead of arriving at 8.30, as she was supposed to in preparation to open the store at 9am, she didn’t get there until 8.45. She was rushing through the opening chores so hadn’t yet put away her coat and bag in the staff area. When she smelled a faint hint of smoke she was concerned it was Jin-Hyuk, another employee who started at 9, smoking in the staff room so she went back there to scold him, but was shocked to find the room was on fire. The flames had pushed her back and she had fled the store to call 119.

But once the flames touched the clothes in the main store area that had been it; the whole place had gone up in an inferno that even the fire fighters had struggled to tame. Two people were being treated with severe burns, three more had minor injuries — including Minae who had inhaled a lot of smoke — and _one_ person… One person sleeping in their apartment was unaccounted for. Because of this the police had asked for the Fire Department to do a full investigation to see what caused the fire. Baekhyun was then warned severely that if the fault turned out to have originated from his store, he’d be liable for the damages to the others and face criminal charges for those that were hurt. And the one that was presumed dead... The Police Officers face turned severe and Baekhyun got the message, loud and clear.

He closed his eyes, practically wilting into the hard metal chair he was sitting on. He didn’t he even have it in him to ask more questions, but he heard Taeyeon take over and was grateful.

Thanking the police officer robotically, he left the station and allowed Taeyeon to lead him back to his apartment. It was freezing because he hadn’t turned the heating on in days so she fussed around covering him with a blanket and making him a cup of tea. Baekhyun held it, the warmth seeping into his fingers. But he didn’t drink it.

“Please speak to me.” Taeyeon begged quietly. “I know you’re upset…”

Her words didn’t even register with him. Staring at his wall, his mind was strangely blank, thoughts scattered and lost to him, Taeyeon’s pleading just white noise. He was tracing the faint grooves in his paintwork when suddenly his vision was obscured by a wall of grey. His eyes trailed up the fabric to a thick neck and finally to a well sculpted face he’d know absolutely _anywhere_. Full lips turned down, dark eyes watching him with concern, hair gelled back nearly. Baekhyun blinked at him without expression.

“Baek.” The person spoke, his voice breaking through the mental haze like an ice bucket of water.

"You know?" Baekhyun asked, his voice raspy.

Chanyeol nodded. "Yeah. I heard."

"Did you see it?" He shook his head. "It was _awful_ , Yeol."

"I know."

"They think _I_ did it. That I'm attempting some kind of insurance scam."

"I'll handle it."

Baekhyun licked his dry lips and averted his eyes to hands. “Has... Has _that_ person been found, do you know?”

Chanyeol dropped to his knees in front of Baekhyun and cupped his cheeks, stroking them. He nodded solemnly and Baekhyun’s expression cracked. He knew what that meant, and he gasped. Chanyeol reacted immediately, pulling Baekhyun into his arms. He didn’t cry, his eyes almost painfully dry, but he shuddered and trembled, huddled together in that cold room. He hadn't known the person who had died, but it still affected him knowing they died because of a fire starting in _his_ store. And as heartless as it may have seemed to others, what scared Baekhyun the most _now_ was that he might go to prison. The shame, the disappointment from his parents when they found out… It made him feel sick. Then there was the sense of loss at losing his store. All the blood, sweat and tears he'd poured into getting it open; _worthless_. Everything together felt overwhelming.

Chanyeol held him close, providing him strength as he rode through the horror of what had happened, his mind no longer silent.

**Authors Note:**  
[THIS ](https://previews.123rf.com/images/yencha/yencha1602/yencha160200029/52168078-seoul-january-30-korean-people-and-tourists-walking-shopping-at-myeongdong-market-shopping-street-it.jpg)is how I imagined the street his store is on. However they are only two story buildings.


	15. Chapter 15

[ **15.** **Chanyeol** ]  


Park Chanyeol had been with many women — far too many to count — and none particularly moved him or made him feel like he was in love. In fact, none had ever come close to even _touching_ his heart, not even Rose, though he knew she tried. _He_ had tried, too, in the beginning. He wanted to fall in love with her, with _someone_ , wanted to feel for them the way he knew he _should_ feel towards someone else. But his heart was incapable of feeling anything close to romantic love and he knew it was because it was already fully occupied.

And no matter how hard he had tried over the years, _nothing_ could dislodge Byun Baekhyun in his heart, taking up full captivity and refusing to vacate.

He didn’t feel for Rose like he felt for Baekhyun. He didn’t spend almost every waking moment thinking about her when she wasn’t by his side, what she was doing, whether she was safe, whether she had eaten or had enough sleep, if she was happy and driving himself insane with jealousy imaging who she was happy with that wasn’t _him_. He never had the urge to cradle her, to keep her safe and by his side at _all_ times, locking her away in a room away from everyone else that wasn’t _him._ He didn’t want to make it so she smelled of him, _tasted_ of him, was his and _only_ his.

Chanyeol felt his lips curl at his own possessive desires and realised it was perhaps for the best he didn’t have them for Rose. They weren’t the kind she wanted from him, _far_ from it. She wanted tenderness, soft feelings, hand holding, whispered sweet nothings in her ear and gentle, warm hugs. She wanted _love_ , the kind Chanyeol was incapable of giving. He loved Baekhyun like he was his own flesh and blood, an extension of himself — a part of him that he had consumed long ago. It was the _only_ type of love Chanyeol could feel. It was the selfish type that made him want Baekhyun chained to his side, forcing him to be with _him_ no matter what to the point that he had even considered making him live solely in his spare room, trapping him forever in a cage for _his_ eyes only.

But Chanyeol knew Baekhyun would run if he ever found out how he felt and wouldn’t come back to his side, at least not _willingly_. Not that he wasn’t above forcing him. He’d been dangerously close when he’d run away to China. Back then Chanyeol had prepared to have Baekhyun returned, even against his will if he had ultimately refused, because he’d been serious when he’d told him he couldn’t live without him. He really couldn’t. A dark part of Chanyeol wanted to destroy everything between them just so he _could_ capture him. It would be easier that way he knew. But the rational side of him would point out that’s what he liked about Baekhyun; he _willingly_ stayed by his side. He didn’t want to ruin that, not if he didn’t have to.

He had known for years that Baekhyun desired him, had even been somewhat pleased with the idea that his friend wanted him out of everyone else. But being faced with it so _intimately_ had been staggering. How Baekhyun reacted to simple kisses, the way he came apart at a _touch_ … He had never known that his best friends need had ran so deep that it seemed almost painful. It had distressed every fibre of Chanyeol’s being. He couldn’t hurt Baekhyun— he wasn’t physically _capable_ of harming his friend, so he’d have done _anything_ to see that expression go away.

Which in turn had screwed with both their heads.

Chanyeol let out a breath. Touching Baekhyun, seeing his face as he came in the bathroom _should_ have disgusted him, but instead he’d found a sick pleasure in witnessing it, in knowing _he_ made it happen. So, he’d done it _again_ , wanting to check whether the first time in the bathroom had been a one off. It _hadn’t_. And the wrongness of this reality was screwing with Chanyeol's head. It was why he’d come _here_ this morning after consoling Baekhyun all night, fucking Rose roughly to try and reset his mindset. 

“Honey?” Rose’s sweet voice broke thorough his mental fog and he turned to look at her. She smiled coyly. “Are you tired or do you want to go again…?”

Chanyeol was laid naked next to her on the bed, his skin still damp from fucking her hard for the past hour. Her cheeks were flushed, her skin equally as damp and sticky, eyes sparkling as she watched him, trailing her nails over his abdomen seductively. It was a man’s dream and he should be just as content as she clearly was, but he wasn’t. Because rather than thinking about _Rose_ when she had climaxed several times, he was instead picturing the way _Baekhyun_ had looked, shaking and shivering, flawless white skin flushed and shiny pink lips parted as he showed the most erotic, euphoric face as he came.

He’d made countless women come, but _none_ had affected him like that image had. Seeing that look on Baekhyun’s face had done something to him because he couldn’t _stop_ thinking about it. Knowing _he_ made him look like that, knowing that _he_ was the one to make him feel like that had only fuelled that fucked up, twisted the part of him that wanted to claim and possess Baekhyun. In some perverse way, he felt a sense of fulfilment in making Baekhyun come. In fact, Chanyeol had spent the whole time he was fucking his beautiful fiancé from behind picturing _Baekhyun’s_ erotic expressions and imagining it was _his_ smooth, firm body he was pounding into so aggressively. He wanted LOEY branded into that flawless flesh, mark the slender hips with his fingertips, bite that graceful neck, make him beg and _bleed_ for him, split him in two with his cock—

Chanyeol closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, sitting up abruptly as he felt his tired cock twitch. He couldn't stop the scowl in his expression as he got out of the bed and began to dress with his back to Rose, brushing out his jacket and taking the time to smooth his hair back with water from the en-suite. Returning to the bedroom, he spotted his Rolex on the bedside table and began to fasten it back onto his wrist, all the while aware of Rose watching him, her perfectly shaped eyebrows lowering. Not even sparing her a glance he headed out of the bedroom.

“Wait!” Rose called out. He paused by the door. “Can’t you stay for a while? I feel like I’ve not spent time _alone_ with you in ages…”

“I have business to attend to.”

“Then afterwards? What time do you finish? I can have food prepared for you—”

“I’ll eat at home.”

“That's fine, I can cook at your house—”

“ _No_.”

There was a heavy pause after his clipped word and he clenched his jaw, trying to reign in his temper. He wasn't even angry at her, but at himself. He knew she was trying, was just hoping to get closer to him, to regain the type of relationship he'd successfully faked _before_ Baekhyun had ran away to China. But Chanyeol couldn't, especially not right _now_. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” She asked, her voice rising in pitch.

Chanyeol forced his expression to remain neutral as he met her gaze and found her face was twisted in anger.

“I am looking.” He said blandly, but his eyes moved to the bedsheets and his hands fisted.

They were the wrong sheets. They weren’t _His_ sheets…

“Am I just some cheap _whore_ of yours that you can’t bring yourself to stay with after we make love? Or even bring yourself to _look_ at?” She demanded. “We’re going to get _married_ and you won’t even sleep next to me! Why do you always leave afterwards? I’m your finance, you should _want_ to stay with me! You should _want_ to be around me!”

He waited silently and patiently as she ranted until she finally fell silent, her breathing heavy.

“Are you finished?”

Her eyes welled with tears. “No! I’m _not_ finished! I hardly get to see you anymore since _he_ moved into your place! Why is _he_ even still there? Doesn’t he have his _own_ apartment? Can’t you buy him one?”

She didn’t need to say _his_ name and Chanyeol was glad she didn’t, not with the bitter edge to her tone. He was afraid if he heard his name coming from her lips with that level of disdain he’d lose his cool in front of her, something he’d been very careful not to do. Not bothering to reply to her emotional rambling he simply left. He knew Rose wasn’t comfortable with his relationship with Baekhyun since he’d revealed how deep it went during the months he’d been gone, but he really wasn’t in the mood to hear her complaints, to pander to her, not when he really _did_ have urgent matters to attend to.

Outside Minseok was waiting with the car and Chanyeol climbed in, instructing him to take him to the bakery. Once there he went down to the basement and smirked at the sight of the three men strapped to chairs, blindfolded and gagged, clothing torn and bloody from the struggle they’d put up when being captured. Jongin stood to the side, eyes lit up with excitement now that Chanyeol had finally arrived. Ripping the blindfold and gag off one of the men, Chanyeol punched him across the jaw before the man’s eyes could adjust, then calmly walked to the small table in the room where his leather gloves were waiting.

He pulled them on slowly.

“Here to interrogate me?” The man demanded with a sneer.

Chanyeol didn’t respond. With the gloves on he flexed his hands a few times, rolled his shoulders to loosen the muscles then began to savagely beat the man, driving his fists into him over and over until he was completely unrecognisable and unconscious. Tearing off the second mans gag and blindfold, he allowed him to get an eyeful of his friends beaten face.

“Who sent you?” Chanyeol demanded.

“Fuck you, man! You think I’m stupid? You’ll kill me whether I tell you or not.”

“ _Correct_. But if you tell me while I'm still in an agreeable mood, I might be inclined to kill you _quicker_ as a thank you.”

“Go to Hell!”

Chanyeol smiled coldly. “You first, I’ll join you later.”

This man took a bit longer to pass out so when he did, his mouth no longer contained his teeth, and his face was left looking like a doppelgänger to minced meat. His laboured breathing whistled through his crushed nostrils, breaking the eerie silence that fell after his cries of pain ended. Moving onto the third man, Chanyeol removed his blindfold and gag and smiled at the way the man grimaced and recoiled at the sight of his disfigured friends. He’d heard them being viciously beaten, the sounds only heightening his fear.

“Don’t worry they’re still breathing.” Chanyeol assured him. “After all, I’m a _generous_ host. I wouldn’t want them to miss out on the _other_ excitement I have planned for you all.”

The quivering man shook his head. “I-I can’t tell you anything.”

“I hope you don’t.” Jongin told him with a gleeful smile.

“What?” The man frowned.

“The _less_ you say, the longer _I_ can play.”

The man paled at hearing that and fixed his pleading eyes on Chanyeol. “Please, I don’t know who it was! We _never_ saw their face!”

“Whose face?” Chanyeol asked.

“The one who paid us to do it. We were collecting a debt at a warehouse and he approached us wearing a cap and mask. Told us we’d get 30 Million KRW each if we torched the store to the ground!”

“Bullshit!” Jongin spat, clearly not believing his story.

“It’s true! We didn’t question it because it was easy money! 30 Million KRW to burn some shop _and_ he gave us a 10 Million KRW down payment to show he was good for it — who could say no to that? We don’t even make that kinda money in a _year_ in our line of work!”

“Your line of work?”

“We’re just debt collectors! We rough people up and smash up stores when they don’t pay up, we’ve never done _anything_ like this before, I swear! We didn’t know it was _your_ building!”

“And if you _had_?” Chanyeol inquired casually.

“We wouldn’t have done it! We respect you!”

“It seems you should’ve had respect for _yourself_ first. What would JiWon say if she knew you were out burning down buildings, _killing_ innocent people?”

“You mean _this_ JiWon?” Jongin asked Chanyeol, bringing up a picture on his phone. The man gasped in horror as he saw the image of his wife going on her morning jog. Jongin licked the photo suggestively. “Your wife’s sexy for a schoolteacher.”

“She’s your type, Kai.” Chanyeol remarked.

“Maybe she’ll offer me some remedial lessons.”

The man sobbed. “P-please, I’ve told you everything I know!”

“And it’s all _useless_ to me!” Chanyeol snapped, punching the man hard across the jaw. “ _Where_ was this warehouse?”

The man quickly rattled off the address and the time he’d been there, his whole body trembling.

“Send a team out to scout the area immediately. I want the CCTV checked to confirm his story.” Chanyeol instructed.

Jongin nodded, but before he left the room to execute the orders, he lifted his phone still showing the wife’s photo and stuffed it down the front of his jeans and rubbed it around provocatively. The man looked on helplessly, his swollen eyes watching as his wife’s image was disrespected.

“I’ll make sure to check on your wife, so don’t be worried.” Jongin promised him with a leer as he closed the door behind him.

“No! _Please_ —”

Chanyeol’s fist lashing out again silenced him. “You want us to show mercy on your family? Spare them?” He demanded.

He didn’t give the man time to answer as he pummelled him a few more times. Standing back he smiled coldly as the man begged and pleaded, tears running down his cheeks and mixing with the snot and blood running from his bust nose. Making sure he was watching, Chanyeol took the spiked knuckle duster on the table and fitted it over his gloves.

“Where was _your_ mercy when you hurt the one _I_ love?” He asked as he waved his spiked fists in front of the man’s face.

The man whimpered and as Chanyeol watched, he pissed himself. It ran down his legs and pooled under his feet, mixing with the droplets of blood on the floor.

“N-No one was _in_ the store!” The man managed to gasp out, his split lip spraying blood. “The person who d-died was an _accident_! An old lady! We didn’t think it would s-spread so fast!”

Chanyeol smiled down at him coldly. “You took something from the one _I_ care most about. So, I think it’s only fitting I take something equally as important from _you,_ too. An eye for an eye...”

The mans tortured screams filled the air.

Later, Chanyeol lounged in the club and eyed the two men sat opposite him. They were old school Mafia, brothers who had once worked for his father but had defected to him when he’d taken over. Chanyeol didn’t particularly _like_ them, but they ran their clubs without bothering him and sent him a cut each month, so he left them be. They were currently smoking cigars and drinking heavy liquor despite it only being 2pm, the two of them downing the alcohol like it was water, which to them it _was_. They’d been drinking since long before they’d even grown pubic hair and it took a lot to get these brothers intoxicated.

A woman dressed only in a string black thong swayed over to him and sat in Chanyeol’s lap as she placed his drink down, her other hand stroking his bicep as she pressed her perky breasts against his chest. Chanyeol glared at her until she got the hint and scrambled off him, her eyes darting to her bosses nervously. The brothers laughed at the sight, but their gaze to the woman promised punishment for her failed bold move.

“Not in the mood, Boss?” One guessed.

Chanyeol picked up the drink and didn’t answer, but the Brothers shared an uneasy look. They hadn’t missed the way their Bosses knuckles were red and bruised, nor missed the dark mood he’d been in since he arrived from spending time at his torture chamber — AKA his Bakery. In fact, Chanyeol hadn’t ‘ _been in the mood_ ’ now for almost nine months and they were all nervous about the change in their Leader. They assumed it was because of his fiancé, but they each knew their boss had never shied away from the women here even _after_ he’d first got engaged. In fact, the _day_ he’d popped the question he’d spent his night here fucking as many women as he could get his hands on so they couldn’t understand this current mood he seemed to be in lately.

“I need you to look into the identity of this man.” Chanyeol said, and on cue Jongin slapped down the stills he’d gotten from the CCTV on the table.

The brothers each looked through the pictures, raising their eyebrows at the image of a person obscured by a cap and facemask. You couldn’t even make out whether they were male or female, young or old from the pictures, only that they were short and wearing all black. In truth, it looked like a teenager, which made Chanyeol suspect this kid was hired solely to carry out this task because of their anonymity. The Brothers shared a nervous look because this wouldn’t be an easy feat, even for people with as many connections as they had. The person in this image could, literally, be _anyone_.

“We’ll do our best, Boss.” One said.

“What’s this Bastard done anyway?” The other asked.

Chanyeol swirled his glass with his wrist, the ice clacking against the side. The atmosphere turned tense at the coldness in their Leaders expression, which when in contrast with his calm demeanour was making them nervous.

“He hurt someone important to me.” He answered at last.

The men shared another confused look. They knew his fiancé was there at the restaurant the night of the shooting, but as far as they were aware, she wasn’t harmed. In fact, the ones who did the shooting had been quickly captured and buried already, the person who’d given the order a rival gang that Chanyeol was still dealing with. But if it wasn’t because of the shooting… Or his finance… Then what _was_ this about? Jongin’s glare made them school their expressions and quickly promise Chanyeol they would do their best. They knew not to ask too many questions.

“I need him _alive_.” He told them coolly.

The brothers shivered at his tone and shared another quick look. They had no idea how this person had angered their Boss so much, not when Chanyeol had never shown such anger towards an attack before. Even when he’d been _physically_ attacked Chanyeol had never been all that bothered and the brothers weren’t sure what to think of this. In comparison, Jongin was practically vibrating at the thought of what would happen when this person was caught. He truly couldn’t wait – nothing excited him more than when his Boss was on a vindictive streak and there was only _one_ person that could get him into this state.

“The shipment tonight. Is everything going according to plan?”

The Brothers relaxed somewhat at the easier topic. “Yes Boss. The shipment will arrive in Busan at 12am and our transport will be waiting.”

“Make sure nothing goes wrong.” Chanyeol told them. “I don’t want a repeat of _last_ time.”

Chanyeol was currently feuding with Busan’s newest head Mafia, BTS, a group that had seemingly come out of nowhere and taken over the previous Mafia in Busan that Chanyeol had been in partnership with. Because they hadn’t been able to come to an agreement, BTS had been doing everything in their power to stop Chanyeol’s weapon shipments and in turn, Chanyeol had been destroying and cutting off all their attempts to enter Seoul. If he lost _this_ shipment tonight it would be the third one in two months.

“We have our best men on this, and we will _personally_ be going to make sure it’s done.” The oldest brother assured him.

Chanyeol took another drink of his whiskey. He didn’t say it aloud, but he’d purposely chosen the Brothers to overlook this shipment because he knew they were the best for the job. The two of them had spent their lives surviving in Seoul, starting as just small lackies in his Father’s Mafia when they’d been just twelve and rising through the ranks to get where they were now under Chanyeol. If anyone could ensure the safe arrival of his weapons, it was these men.

“I’m also negotiating a deal with Daniel Shin of the L.A Fraction.” The youngest brother told Chanyeol proudly.

“Make sure it’s done.”

The three toasted to this, but the frosty atmosphere didn’t lift, not with the pictures of the masked man still on the table. Chanyeol drank and even participated in a few card games with the brothers, watching the few shows the girls would put on dancing naked on the bar or on the poles in the corner of the room. But he watched without expression, not clapping at the end of the performances, or indicating whether he was pleased with the shows or not. As the hours ticked by it only made the Brothers more uneasy, as it appeared _nothing_ they did was pleasing their Boss, unaware that their Boss’s mind was in fact entirely preoccupied by thoughts of his best friend, who was currently home alone in his apartment and waiting for him to come back.

And yet… Chanyeol was avoiding going back, unsure whether he could control himself seeing Baekhyun hurt — mentally _and_ physically, that he’d be able to stop himself from trying to take _away_ that hurt expression and replace it with one Chanyeol was becoming somewhat addicted to. He really _wasn’t_ physically attracted Baekhyun, but he could admit to himself that he was obsessing over the way his friend came apart at his touch, that the sight of it really had made him somewhat aroused. Yet it wasn't the type Baekhyun would be happy with. It wasn't for attraction, but for the simple fact that Chanyeol found sick pleasure in having that power over Baekhyun, that control.

It was sick. Disturbing. _Wrong_.

“Say Boss, why don’t you have a bit of fun? I have some new women here, all fresh. I’m sure they’ll enjoy it more if _you_ teach them the ropes.” The older Brother suddenly suggested, a tempting offer that Chanyeol normally wouldn’t turn down.

“No.”

The refusal was met with silence. The second brother cleared his throat and gave a nervous laugh.

“We assure you, Boss; these girls are really the cream of the crop. You won’t regret it. Come and at least look at them and you’ll see for yourself.”

“Then show me.” Chanyeol instructed.

The two brothers masked their surprise at the sudden turn around and quickly escorted Chanyeol to the basement, where the V.I.P girls lived. Despite the sordidness of the sex trade business, the right hall of the basement had been completely renovated to create dorm-like rooms for the clubs best girls, comfortable quarters that they could live in rent free in exchange for them bringing in the most money. None of the girls complained and most were happy to have somewhere comfortable and safe to live, because Chanyeol made sure his men only hired willing women, unlike most other Mafia outfits. Women _willing_ to work the trade would make more money, eager to perform well for a bigger cut of money.

In their shared living space, the girls all looked up as their Bosses walked in accompanied by a tall handsome man wearing a sharp business suit and an equally tall scary looking man, who seemed to appraise them all as threats. They shied away from meeting _his_ eyes but looked at the suited man with interest. They all recognised him as Park Chanyeol of LOEY and knew he him only to be a V.I.P client of their Bosses, though he had never been any of their customer. It was the way Chanyeol conducted his underground work to ensure that his name was never linked to his shady dealings.

“Any catch your eye?” The eldest brother asked Chanyeol.

Chanyeol ran his eyes over each of the girls in turn as they stood in a line under his inspection. They weren’t scantily clad, being it was still closing time, but he could recognise that they were all indeed incredibly beautiful. Each had their own charm, their own ‘selling point’ and though a few held characteristics he normally preferred, none particularly interested him. He clenched his teeth and walked from the room and returned to his waiting car outside the club without another word to the Brothers, who watched him leave in equal silence.

“Where to?” Minseok asked.

Chanyeol leaned his head back on the seat. “ _Home.._.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHANYEOL’S POV :)


	16. Chapter 16

[ **16.** **Baekhyun** ]  


It was the sunlight that woke Baekhyun. Squinting through his eyes at the offending source of light he groaned when he realised _why_ it was so damn bright; he was in Chanyeol’s living room on the sofa. Floor to ceiling windows without curtains dominated Chanyeol’s living room and kitchen, since they were the type of fancy glass that you could see out of — but not _in_. Perfect for providing natural light during the day. Murder if you fell asleep in there like Baekhyun had. Sitting up he stretched his aching body and scanned the open plan room, noting the silence and lack of any other movement. The sun was still in the early stages of rising and a check of his phone confirmed it was only 5:30am. Which meant Chanyeol had left too early to simply be going to _work_.

Rubbing his tired eyes Baekhyun wasn’t surprised by this or even all that concerned, because his mind was still focused on the events of yesterday. He wished he’d woken up even momentarily oblivious, that he could have a break from his chaotic thoughts. But clearly he was destined for torment, the images of his store burning so fresh in his mind that for a moment he was sure he could still smell the smoke. Inhaling deeply, he sighed out in relief when he realised he _couldn't_ smell smoke, that it was all in his head. Resting his palm over his heart, he listened to the frantic beat begin to to slow to a regular rhythm and his body slowly began to relax once again.

At his side he could see his phone light up with an incoming text, the lock screen showing several missed calls and messages, most from Taeyeon making sure he was okay. But there was _one_ that surprised him.

**1 MISSED CALL – OH SEHUN.**

Baekhyun sat up and stared at it with mixed emotions. He hadn’t heard from Sehun since their breakup, as he hadn’t thought it appropriate to message someone he essentially hurt as he had. _Should_ he call him back? Text him? Ignore it? What would he even say? Nibbling at his fingers with indecision, he instead called Taeyeon.

“Baek!” She answered after just two rings. “Do you want me to come round?”

“I’m at Chanyeol’s.”

He explained how Chanyeol had taken him to his apartment, since Baekhyun’s was apparently too cold. He’d not even noticed it last night, but he remembered how Taeyeon had covered him with blankets and vaguely recalled her complaining that his heating was taking too long to kick in. He didn’t _actually_ remember agreeing to come here, but he’d not protested when Chanyeol had taken his hand and lead him out to where Minseok was parked outside, nor said anything when Chanyeol lead him into his apartment and to the sofa, where he’d held Baekhyun until he finally fell asleep. At the time he’d just needed that closeness, to stay with Chanyeol. Because when Baekhyun was with him, being held by him, he felt everything was _alright_.

But Chanyeol wasn’t here right now.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, flopping back on the sofa with a sigh. “I keep having weird moments. It just doesn’t seem real.”

“Don’t turn on the news.”

“… That bad?”

“They’ve not mentioned your name, but the police are saying they’re investigating an arson at a store. People are speculating online…”

“They think it’s an insurance scam.”

“It’ll pass when the fire department do their investigation.” She said with conviction.

He only hoped she was right. His parents might live a sheltered life, but he knew at some point they’d hear about what had happened, more than likely from his brother. He’d been somewhat surprised none of the missed calls had been from him, but then again Baekbeom never concerned himself with anything that didn’t relate to his work or his own family. He supposed he should be grateful for that because he wasn’t ready to speak to his parents about it. He didn’t want them to worry.

“What did Chanyeol have to say?” Taeyeon asked suddenly.

“Yeol? He…”

Baekhyun paused as he remembered Chanyeol’s words from last night. _I'll handle it_. He wasn’t even sure _what_ that meant, but knowing Chanyeol, the connections and the power he had, the things he wasn’t afraid to do… It suddenly worried Baekhyun. It had been a question that he'd asked himself often, though had never really dared to think too much about; just _how_ far would Chanyeol go for him? It was a dangerous thought and at that moment, Baekhyun knew he didn't really want to know the answer, not in regards to _this_ matter, anyway. 

“Tae I’ll call you back.” He said as he stood up, rushing towards his room.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, he stepped back out into the living room, phone in hand, Chanyeol’s contact staring at him, finger hovering over the green call button. He wanted to know where he’d gone this morning, what he was doing now, what his words had meant. What _was_ Chanyeol planning? Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether knowing or not would change anything, because once his friend set his mind on something there really wasn’t _anything_ that could stop him. But he knew he had to at least _try_ , or at the very least know what Chanyeol intended to do. His friend could at times be impulsive, certainly when it came to matters that threatened what he perceived as _his_. It may be nothing or it could be something dangerous. Either way, Baekhyun wanted to know. 

“Good morning, Oppa.”

He looked up sharply and lowered his phone, thumb hitting the lock button at the side without thought. Rose was stood in the living space, her back to the windows as she regarded him, the sunlight behind her casting her in a halo of light that made her beauty even more unearthly. Despite it being 6:30am she looked incredible and he hated how he wished she could, at least for once, _not_ look so amazing. Was it any wonder Chanyeol had chosen her? That his friend had made the decision to wake up beside her _every_ morning? He hadn't even heard her come in, too preoccupied with getting himself ready to go head to Chanyeol's office. He gave her a shaky smile, the memory of the _last_ time he’d seen her making him distinctly uncomfortable.

“Ah, good morning Rose, Chanyeol’s not here—”

“I know. He came to visit me this morning.”

Baekhyun felt his lips twitch at hearing that before he got control of his expression, forcing it to remain in place.

“Ah, is that so…” Clearing his throat he gestured to the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink?”

Instead of answering him, Rose turned to face the windows, walking along them slowly, the ring on her left hand making a faint scraping sound as she ran her hand lightly over the glass. She was facing the city view, her silhouette in the morning sunlight casting a deep shadow into the room that almost touched Baekhyun as it passed him. He wasn’t sure why, but he took a step back to avoid it. 

“You know, I’ve always loved this apartment. It's so bright and airy and the view... It's stunning." She said, her voice gentle. “Do _you_ like it?”

“Yeah… It’s nice.”

“I told him we’d have to sell it, though, after the wedding. I’ve begun to look at alternate homes for us, since this place isn’t exactly _child_ friendly, is it?”

She turned to glance at him with a small smile and Baekhyun felt his expression crack, his own smile slipping as his mouth parted in a silent gasp. Her words felt like they had cut into his already tormented soul. _Child friendly_. _Child friendly. Child friendly._ They bounced around his skill mockingly. Rose turned back to face the window again, but he saw that she was no longer smiling.

“You know what’s ironic, Oppa? _I’m_ his fiancé, and yet when I come into his home it’s _you_ who is offering _me_ a drink, not the other way around.”

He glanced at the kitchen, as though looking for a sign in there of _how_ he should respond, but it was of course completely useless. Nothing in there could help him, though he had the sudden urge to go get a drink of something strong enough to numb the pain her earlier words had inflicted. Turning back to face her, he found her again with her back to him. He didn’t like that, because he couldn’t gage her expression, her soft voice giving little away. 

“It’s always been like that though, hasn’t it? To _you_ this apartment probably feels like home. You even have your own room here. But when _I_ come to this apartment, it feels so foreign, almost like I’m visiting a stranger’s home and not that of my future husband. Did you know I’ve never stayed here longer than a sleepover? I’ve never been allocated cupboard space for my clothes, or given my own toothbrush…”

Her voice trailed off. Compared to _what_ she was saying, it was her _tone_ that made Baekhyun more uncomfortable. He didn’t like _any_ of this and the urge to flee was strong, but for some reason he couldn't get his legs or mouth to cooperate. So he stood frozen in place like a statue, listening and trying not to let her words affect him. She spoke almost as though to herself, but each word seemed so careful. _E_ _xact_. Like she'd come prepared to say all of this. 

“He’s never slept over at _mine_ , either, so I guess I can’t blame the apartment. So then _who_ do I blame? Maybe _I’m_ the problem… Or at least, that’s what I thought for the longest time.”

Baekhyun swallowed thickly. There was _nothing_ friendly about this conversation despite her light tone, he realised, and yet he wasn’t all that surprised. Sometimes you just knew when something bad was about to happen; that jolt of your heart when your foot slipped on ice, the tingles at the back of your spine when you hear footsteps behind you when walking alone at night, the click of a gun before it’s fired… _This_ moment, this what was happening now was Baekhyun’s warning. To him it was like an alarm blaring at him, urging him to get away while he could. Yet Baekhyun knew he couldn't avoid it, because a part of him had _known_ this was coming. He didn’t feel ready for it. _No_ amount of preparation could _ever_ make him ready for this conversation.

“You know Oppa, when we first met, I really liked you. I thought it was so sweet that Chanyeol still kept in touch with his middle school friend. But then I realised you weren’t just friends; you’re _best_ friends. And that was okay – I have a best friend, too.” Her shoulders shook as she let out a soft chuckle. “But you know what the difference is between my best friend and _you_?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer and apparently, Rose wasn’t expecting him too. Turning around to face him, her lips were curled into a smile, but there was _nothing_ sweet about it. Goosebumps ran along the length of his arms and he felt his heart picking up pace as unease crept down his spine.

“ _My_ best friend isn’t in _love_ with me.” She said with finality, and now her tone wasn’t light and friendly at all but filled with accusation.

The hand holding his phone flexed, the plastic case digging into his palm. She was gaging his reaction, that now bitter twist to her lips making everything that much _worse_ , because this wasn’t the Rose that he knew. And yet, he had a feeling _this_ Rose, the one he was facing now... This was the _real_ Rosanne Park.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re making me feel like _I’m_ the bad guy.” She said, her expression going back to her usual one as she laughed softly.

Open. Friendly. But Baekhyun wasn’t fooled. He’d seen how she’d looked; heard how she’d spoken to him. _That_ was her true feelings, not this sweet front she was putting on now. 

“I’ve tried, haven’t I, Oppa? I’ve really done everything I can to be accommodating to you. Not once have I complained when you interrupt our date nights. I’ve never whined when he stood me up to spend time with you or questioned when he became so despondent when you ran away. Whenever he mentions you I don’t pull a face and I always listen attentively when he talks about you. I even encouraged him to bring you back when he found out you’d been hiding in China. So you see, Oppa, I’ve been a _very_ good Fiancé.”

She raised her left hand and pointedly began to twist her engagement ring, the sunlight behind her hitting the pink diamond just _right_ so that it sparkled brightly. Baekhyun watched her movements, his eyes fixed on the ring. He’d purposely avoided looking at her left hand whenever they’d met since his return, but now he _forced_ himself to look, to see beyond the physical beauty to the meaning behind it. _Dedication_. _Commitment_. The physical symbol of Chanyeol’s love. He hated that ring, he suddenly decided.

Releasing a shaky breath, he found the smile had been wiped from her face, though she still regarded him with a pleasant expression. _So fake_. He’d never noticed it before, but now it was so glaringly obvious to him. How could he have missed how deeply Rose resented him? Had it _always_ been this way, even before he’d left for China? Silence filled the room as they looked at each other, so thick with tension that Baekhyun felt almost stifled. Rose was the first to break it.

“I wanted to be understanding, but you were _never_ just a friend to him, were you?”

“It’s not—”

She cut him off. “I’ve seen you pining after him, seen the way you look at him when you think no one notices. But _I_ noticed. Honestly, I thought you’d realise how useless it was when you heard we’d got engaged, but you still don’t seem to completely get it, so I’m going to spell it out for you, Oppa: _Chanyeol will never love you_.” She said the words slowly, each one like a punch to his gut. “You might be his best friend, but that’s all you’ll _ever_ be to him. He might depend on you, might even claim he _needs_ you, but that’s because you’re like family to him. A _brother_. You will _never_ get between us.”

Baekhyun tried not to let her words hurt him, but she was essentially throwing back in his face facts he already knew. His mouth was so dry that he walked into the kitchen on legs that felt weak, poured himself a glass of water and drank the whole thing without taking a breath. He almost laughed when he finally came up for air as he realised there was no use anymore pretending with her. In fact, he was no longer feeling _any_ guilt in that moment as her words rubbed salt into already aching wounds. The usual calm façade he wore around Rose was wiped away completely, his pain twisting into anger.

“I don’t need to _try_ get in between you Rose, because I’m _already there_.”

She stared at him with astonishment before she slowly began to clap, the loud slaps echoing around the room. An excited smile lit her face.

“There it is; your true feelings.” She applauded.

“Isn’t it the same with you?”

She stopped her clapping. “The difference between us is he will never look at _you_ the way he looks at _me,_ never love _you_ the way he loves _me_.”

“He _does_ love me."

A part of him, the one that was still thinking calmly and logically, was urging him to walk away from this conversation, to end it and the inevitable pain it was causing. But he _couldn't_. Because he felt like he was no longer just arguing with Rose but also with himself as he tried to assure himself that Chanyeol really did love him. Maybe it wasn't in the way he did her, but that didn't mean he didn't love Baekhyun still. That Baekhyun was just _as_ important. His heart was telling him he absolutely right, but his mind... His mind was filled with doubts. 

“You’ve been using his feelings for you to coerce him into thinking he can’t live without you. Honestly, I should applaud you again because I never realised you were so manipulative. When did you start? High school? Or did you start that _first_ day you met him, offering him your lunch box to hook his interest?”

He slammed the glass down, startling her. “ _Enough_.”

“You’re right. We’re getting nowhere.” She sighed, turning back to look out the window again. Baekhyun glared at her back, the hands at his side clenched into fists. “I didn’t actually come here to argue with you. I wanted to appeal to your better nature, hoped you would see reason but it’s obvious now you won’t.”

“See reason?” He echoed.

“I’m going to marry him and we’re going to start a family.” Turning back to face him, he found her hands resting over her abdomen.

It felt like his very soul had been struck with a final blow. The hurt, bitterness, fury, _jealousy_ … They swirled within him like a burning inferno. His body was tensed, his muscles pulled so taut that they burned as he suffered. He could barely breathe, eyes locked on her hands rubbing her tummy over and over. He knew this day would come, knew that eventually this would become a reality, but he wasn’t ready. _How_ could he possibly be ready for this? His stomach churned with bile, his eyes stung and he knew, without a doubt, the ugly truth was now revealed on his face. He couldn’t hide it and Rose was up front and center to see all of it. 

“Do you understand now?” Rose asked, her voice suddenly gentle. But looking up he found her eyes had a manic gleam to them. She was happy. _Ecstatic_ even, at seeing him being torn to shreds. “He doesn't know, yet. But I'll tell him soon. After the way he made love to me _several_ _times_ this morning I _have_ to let him know, because I’m worried all the sex will harm the baby.”

Baekhyun jerked as if physically hit by her and took a shaky step back. Denial was running through his veins, refusing to believe what she was insinuating. _The baby_. He clamped his lips shut, sure he was about to retch. Rose sighed and gave him another bright smile.

“Take into consideration that it’s not _just_ Chanyeol’s relationship with me you’re affecting but also that of his _child_. If you really do love him, then you'll know that staying by his side like you are is only going to hurt him in the long run. Please think it over. I’ll be going now Oppa.”

Baekhyun heard her heels click on the tile, the sound of the elevator opening and closing as she left so casually, as though she hadn't just dropped a bombshell that had shaken his entire world to the very core. His legs, which had been weak before suddenly gave in and he collapsed onto the floor, his whole-body trembling. _Baby_.

 _Chanyeol’s_ baby.

He closed his eyes and shuddered. His lungs felt like they were filled with water, drowning and suffocating him with each inhale and exhale. Drawing his knees up to his chest he reached for his phone he must have dropped at some point and dialed with numb fingers. It rang for almost a full minute before finally being picked up.

“Baek?”

He sobbed when he heard the voice. The person on the other end began to panic, calling his name over and over but Baekhyun wasn't able to speak. Gripping the phone tightly he lowered his face to his knees to muffle the cries as he broke down. 


	17. Chapter 17

[ **17.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun stared at his phone as it lit up with a call and watched it until it rang out. The screen then flashed with a notification:

**26 MISSED CALLS: YEOL**

“You have to answer sometime.” Taeyeon said softly next to him.

Baekhyun hugged the pillow tighter to his chest and rested his chin on it. He was watching his phone when it again lit up with a notification.

**48 TEXTS: YEOL**

Closing his eyes he heard Taeyeon get up from the sofa they were both sat on and walk into her kitchen, the scrape of her slippers on the wooden flooring of her apartment barely audible over the movie they had on, one which neither were _actually_ watching, despite their earlier intention. Baekhyun was too preoccupied with his self-depreciating thoughts and Taeyeon… He has no idea what she was thinking.

After answering his phone call at Chanyeol’s and hearing his subsequent break down, she’d waited on the line until he finally managed to pull himself together and ordered him to come to her apartment. Baekhyun had wanted to refuse, purely because he didn’t want to explain what had happened. He was ashamed for what he’d said in the heat of the moment, hurt over Rose’s words and yet, he was afraid to acknowledge that the person he hated right now _wasn’t_ Rose.

It was _himself_.

But here he was hours later, watching the calls and texts come in, knowing Chanyeol must have returned to his apartment and found him gone. He had no idea if Rose had spoken to him yet or even if Chanyeol had any clue at _all_ what had happened. He was too afraid to face him. Too afraid to face the conversation that would inevitably have to happen.

When coldness pressed against his cheek, he opened his eyes to find Taeyeon stood in front of him, a refilled wine glass held against his skin. He took it wordlessly and took a large swallow.

“Easy now.” She warned as she sat back next to him with her own glass. “I’m only letting you have this _last_ one then I’m cutting you off.”

“I came here to get drunk.”

“No. You came here because you needed someone to help you.”

“Getting drunk _will_ help me.”

She sighed. “Been there and done that, remember? We both know that’s not true.”

Baekhyun drained his glass petulantly, because although he knew it wouldn’t help, he didn’t _want_ to be logical right now. He wanted to drink until he forgot, until the pain would numb, and his heart _wouldn’t_ feel like it was torn to shreds. Taeyeon took his empty glass from him with a frown and the two of them watched as his phone once again lit up with an incoming call.

“He’s going to figure out you’re here with me.” She pointed out.

“He knows where I am.”

“You _told_ him?”

“He’ll have tracked my phone by now.”

She raised her eyebrows. “That’s _illegal_.”

Baekhyun scoffed and moved his finger to reject the call, the first time he’d done so and not just allowed it to ring out. He had no doubt Chanyeol knew where he was, probably had his guys stationed around Taeyeon’s apartment to track him in case he left. His phone lit up as Chanyeol once _again_ tried to call and with a puff of irritation Baekhyun rejected it.

“Have you spoke to him at all?”

“What’s there to say? _Congratulations_?” He sneered. “I’m not capable of saying it sincerely.”

“You don’t want to hear what he has to say?”

“He’d left this morning early so he could go fuck around with her before going to work. What more _is_ there to say?”

“Baek—”

“I know I have no right to be jealous. He’s engaged to her; he has _every_ right to go and knock up his fiancé. But having it rubbed in my face… It fucking hurts.”

“What Rose did was Bitchy and I hate her for _how_ she did it. But you were both bad as each other and I kind of understand _why_ she did it.” Taeyeon confessed.

“So do I. And It could’ve been worse. _Should_ have been worse. She obviously doesn’t know about us… What we’ve done. If she _had…”_

“ _You’re_ not to blame though, Baek. _He_ initiated everything. He’s the one who’s engaged, not _you_. You’re single.”

But that didn’t make him any less guilty. The term home wrecker came to mind and stuck, souring his mood further because as much as he wanted to hate Rose and blame her for everything, he knew that _he_ was the one at fault here. Both him _and_ Chanyeol. What they’d done behind her back… It was _wrong_. She had every right to be pissed, even if she didn’t know the full story, and though he wanted to think of her as the bad guy and him completely innocent, he knew that wasn't true.

“I never stopped him.” He replied woodenly. “I enjoyed what he was doing, what we did. And all along he’s just been doing it to keep me happy.”

“I really don’t think that. I told you before – _friends_ don’t go this far for one another.”

But Baekhyun didn’t believe that. In his eyes everything Chanyeol did had been out of some misplaced attempt at keeping Baekhyun by his side, but in doing so everything had spiralled into the mess they were in now.

“Quite frankly Baek, I think you need to make him decide _what_ he wants. He can't keep having his cake and eating it too, it's not fair on you _or_ Rose."

"I'm not making him choose between me and his _pregnant_ Fiancé."

"There’s no _proof_ what she’s saying is true.” Taeyeon went on, furrowing her brows. "And even if she _is_ , wouldn't it be crueller for Chanyeol to marry her when he clearly wants you?"

"You don't get it Tae, he won't choose me. He _hasn't_ chosen me, that's the whole reason we're _in_ this mess. It doesn’t _matter_ whether she's pregnant or not because even if she isn’t pregnant _now_ , she will be one day. What should I do? Go back and stay by his side until the time comes when Chanyeol _himself_ tells me the good news? I can’t do it. I thought just being beside him could be enough for me, but it’s not. Not _now_ anyway.”

“He’s trying to ride both horses with one ass.”

He snorted at that analogy, because it was tragically fitting.

“I’m the _second_ horse he’s trying to keep hold of.” _The third wheel._

“Or you’re the _first_.” She suggested. “The one he’s been riding comfortably all this time. He can’t expect things wouldn’t change when he introduced a second.”

But Baekhyun knew he _wasn’t_ the first. He rejected the call that lit up his screen at that moment and in a fit of anger threw it across the room, the screen shattering the moment it contacted Taeyeon’s wall. She sat up straighter and gave his arm a slap.

“What the fuck Baek!”

His phone had made a dent in the walls plaster, the white flakes surrounding his phone on the floor. He knew he should apologise, knew he was acting completely irrational, but his mind just couldn’t think clearly anymore. Just the _thought_ of Chanyeol starting a family was driving him insane. He gripped the pillow tightly and buried his face back into it.

“ _You_ chose this.” Taeyeon said suddenly, giving his side a hard shove. “ _You_ were the one who came back, who wanted to be with him. You have to have _known_ this would happen eventually!”

“That was _before_.”

“Before what?”

“I had his dick in my mouth!” Shoving the pillow away he turned to face her. “I thought… No, I _hoped_ things were changing between us. I…”

His voice trailed off as his lip began to wobble. Taeyeon hugged him as he cried, her own body shaking as she shared in his torment. He was an idiot, a fact he kept whispering repeatedly through sobs because she was right; he _had_ known deep down this would happen. Yet he’d come back anyway. How could he ever have assumed he’d be able to handle it, that it wouldn’t hurt him as much as it had? Why had he been such an idiot to let it _get_ to this point? He should have walked away while he still had the chance, before everything had become so fucked up.

When his tears finally dried, leaving him with a killer headache and sore throat, he sat with Taeyeon on the sofa and actually committed to watching a movie, an action one that reviews said would be completely free from romance. He wasn’t sure he _could_ handle seeing anyone happy in love right now, even fictional characters. He had his head in Taeyeon’s lap and she was stroking his hair idly, the two of them engrossed in the car chase currently happening on the screen. The main character was hanging onto the open car door while the car weaved in and out of traffic, firing his gun and hitting the enemy’s cars while swinging precariously.

“ _That_ would never happen.” A deep voice spoke from behind them.

Taeyeon let out a scream while Baekhyun jumped to his feet to face the voice, his body tensed. It didn’t lessen when he saw _who_ it was, his eyes instead narrowing.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

Chanyeol’s lips curled into a sneer. “What? You thought you could keep ignoring me?”

Taeyeon was staring at Chanyeol, her eyes wide as though what she was seeing _couldn’t_ be real. The two of them had consumed another two glasses of wine so they were pretty tipsy, but while the sight of Chanyeol had sobered Baekhyun completely, Taeyeon still seemed out of it, her mouth opening and closing as she stared at him, seemingly trying to figure out if he was really there or not as she blinked repeatedly.

“I locked the door.” She said, shaking her head. "It was _definitely_ locked..."

Chanyeol didn’t spare her a glance. “Why are you ignoring my calls?”

“Because I have nothing to say to you.” Baekhyun answered, matching Chanyeol’s pissed off tone.

“Like fuck you don’t!”

“You had no right to come here!”

“I came here because you won’t fucking answer me!”

They glared at one another, Baekhyun’s hands curled into fists matching Chanyeol’s stance. The tension in the room was thick and Taeyeon, conscious of it even in her drunken haze, stood and grabbed Baekhyun’s smashed phone from where they’d put it on the kitchen counter and shoved it at him. Baekhyun took it and made a sound of protest when she then began to shove him towards the door.

“Tae—”

“ _Don’t_ argue with me, Byun Baekhyun. You two need to talk and it’s not happening in _my_ apartment.”

Baekhyun scowled at Chanyeol as he was pushed past him and put on his shoes in a sulky silence, aware of Chanyeol and Taeyeon watching him. When they were on he stormed out of her apartment, cursing her silently without any real venom. He had no desire to speak to Chanyeol but he didn’t want to fall out with Taeyeon by arguing— he owed her too much. He could hear Chanyeol following him down the hallway so he didn’t dare call for the elevator, the thought of being in such an enclosed space with him making him cringe, so he instead pushed open the door to the stairwell.

He’d only cleared one floor when suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him, pushing him back into the wall. He immediately lashed out, shoving Chanyeol away from him.

“ _Don’t_ touch me.” He spat.

Chanyeol didn’t back away, but he didn’t move any closer. They stood a foot apart, but to Baekhyun was still too close. He wanted to run, get as far from him as he could because he knew, without a doubt, the conversation they were about to have was going to change _everything_. Chanyeol glared at Baekhyun, his lips pressed into a tight line, though behind that anger it Baekhyun could detect his confusion.

“What the Hell is wrong with you?” He demanded.

Baekhyun felt his earlier headache returning, his already sore wrist throbbing as he gripped his broken phone tighter. He wanted that pain, _needed_ it right now to ground him because he was feeling more unhinged than ever.

“ _You_! You’re what’s wrong with me!”

“What have I done?”

His genuine confusion was pissing Baekhyun off. _Everything_ , he wanted to scream. He was angry, downright suffering and yet…

“Nothing.” He whispered, his anger deflating. “It’s _my_ fault.”

“ _What’s_ your fault?”

“All of this! You and me… And Rose. It’s all _my_ fault. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t—”

Baekhyun didn’t want to break down again, certainly not in front of Chanyeol, but he knew he was close. He slumped back against the wall as the lump in his throat made speaking impossible. Reminding himself to breathe, he blinked rapidly as he fought against the water welling in his eyes. _Do not cry_ , he warned himself firmly. Chanyeol’s anger vanished, replaced by concern. He made a move towards him but Baekhyun shook his head, hand held out to stop him.

“I can’t do this anymore, Yeol. I tried, I _really_ tried, but it’s killing me. I want..."

“Want what? Cars, mansions, money — you name it, Baek, and it’s all yours.”

Baekhyun scowled in disgust, insulted by his words. “You know I don't want _any_ of that."

“Then what? You want one of those pretty boy Idols? Who’s the one you like watching, Rain was it? You say the word and he’s yours.”

“Rain is straight.” Baekhyun reminded him sarcastically.

“So? He will be _anything_ I ask him to be. Seriously just say the word Baek and he’s yours. I’ll have him on all fours in your apartment—”

“Jesus Yeol, that’s _enough_!”

“Then tell what it is you _do_ want!” Chanyeol yelled at him suddenly. "I can't fucking read minds!"

“You! I want _you_!”

Chanyeol stared at him bewildered. “You _have_ me.”

“Not how I want you.”

“But…”

“You’re not gay, I know that. I fucking _know_ that, dammit! But that’s what I want. I don’t want to be your _friend_ , Yeollie. I’ll always want more and it’s killing me not having you like that. All you’re doing is fucking with my head. I… I think we need space.”

Chanyeol’s whole body went rigid. “No.”

“Yeol—”

“No!” He yelled, rushing forward.

Baekhyun’s head slammed back against the wall and shock radiated through him, but it’s a good kind of shock, the kind that made his heart rate pick up and a tingle run up his spine as Chanyeol’s body collided with his, hands gripping the side of Baekhyun’s scalp in a punishing grip, anchoring them together. He stared down at Baekhyun with laboured breaths, eyes running over his features, never settling in any one place as though he was memorising his face. Like a deer caught in headlights, Baekhyun remained frozen, watching Chanyeol as he stared at him with a small frown, like he was trying to figure something out. After almost a whole minute of this Chanyeol’s fingers in his hair finally uncurled and released their hold to slide down his neck, cupping his jaw firmly.

“You promised not to leave me.” He whispered.

Baekhyun froze when Chanyeol’s head lowered, lips pressing against his softly. He held still, closing his eyes to fight the instinct to kiss him back. He wouldn’t fall into that trap again. But Chanyeol didn’t simply press his lips against his but actually _kissed_ him, mouth working against Baekhyun’s, hands tilting his face to get a better angle. It wasn't a deep kiss, just a press of lips, but it was enough to get Baekhyun's heart racing. Chanyeol pulled back, his breath brushing over Baekhyun’s face making him shiver.

“Baek.” He whispered, and with a groan brought their lips back together.

Then there was no way Baekhyun _couldn’t_ notice that Chanyeol was kissing him now. _Actually_ kissing him. He worked Baekhyun’s lips open, his tongue touching, tasting, _claiming_. Baekhyun returned it with a moan, dropping his broken phone as his own hands grabbed at the hair on the nape of Chanyeol’s neck almost desperately. It wasn’t soft or gentle; the kiss was heated and almost desperate, Chanyeol’s hot mouth stirring Baekhyun’s senses into a frenzy of want that he whimpered when Chanyeol pulled away. But instead of backing away like he half expected, Chanyeol instead used his hands to tilt Baekhyun’s head up as he trailed his mouth to his neck, kissing and biting at the skin, each touch like a brand.

He should push him away, Baekhyun knew. Stop this and go through with what he’d been planning before, but he _couldn’t_. Instead he tightened his hands in Chanyeol’s hair, pulling him closer, a gasp escaping his mouth as Chanyeol began to suck at his skin hard enough that he knew there would be a mark. He didn’t care. He _wanted_ that mark. He wanted _everything_ in that moment, his judgement clouded.

Then Chanyeol suddenly froze, lips still wet against his skin, hands still holding his face.

“Yeol?” Baekhyun whispered when he still hadn’t moved.

Chanyeol jerked back, watching him with wide eyes, breathing laboured.

“Yeol?” Baekhyun echoed with a frown.

“I… I’m losing my fucking mind.” Chanyeol ran his hands through his hair, thoroughly messing it up and let out an almost hysterical laugh. “If you knew the things I want to _do_ to you…”

Baekhyun’s heart stuttered, a shot of lust and fear running through him. He licked his lips, tasting Chanyeol on them.

“What things?”

Chanyeol looked him over from his scruffy converse up to his eyes making Baekhyun tremble. His mind was consumed with an erotic mess of images; Chanyeol pinning him down, pressing that delicious weight on him, parting his legs and—

“I want to make you happy. I want to hold you. I want to take _everything_ from you. I want to fucking mark you up and dominate you. _Own_ you.”

Baekhyun’s breath hitched in his throat, the images in his mind coming to a screaming halt as he stared at Chanyeol, suddenly unable to think of _anything_. It was like he had short circuited, his mind restarting and reprocessing. Chanyeol let out a sound that was a mix between a laugh and a sob and once again dragged his hands through his hair and down over his face, expression no longer one of longing but filled with disgust as he looked at something on Baekhyun’s neck.

“It’s wrong.” He muttered.

“Wrong?” Baekhyun echoed quietly, the word tearing out of his throat painfully.

Chanyeol let out a torn, shuddering breath and the sound impaled Baekhyun, his chest suddenly feeling hollow because it was clear that while Baekhyun had been thrilled by that kiss… Chanyeol _wasn’t_. He hated seeing him like this, hated that _he_ was the reason for it. It was clear to him now that it wasn’t just _him_ that this situation was hurting. It was unfair for _everyone_. To Rose, who had to deal with jealousy over her fiancé being close to a man who she knew loved him. To Chanyeol, who clearly was just trying to keep Baekhyun happy when _really,_ he should be spending time with his future wife. And unfair to Baekhyun, who loved his straight best friend despite knowing said friend was engaged to be married.

 _Nothing_ about this was right.

But it was about time Baekhyun tried to _make_ it right.

“I _never_ wanted this.” He rushed out, hating the way his voice sounded. “Seeing you so damn torn up, pushing yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone in some fucked up attempt to keep me happy… It’s doing the opposite. You’re _hurting_ me, Yeol.”

His voice cracked and Baekhyun had to stop speaking to bite down on his lip in a desperate attempt to keep the sob building in his throat at bay. When Chanyeol parted his lips to speak he held up a hand to silence him, shaking his head.

“Listen to me; we _can’t_ go on like this. You might think you’re trying to help me, but all it’s doing is making me feel guilty and I _hate_ it. I hate that you’re with her, that you sneak off to spend time with her when I _know_ I have no right to feel like that. _She’s_ the one you’re engaged to. _She’s_ the one who you’re going to marry and spend your life with. It’s _me_ who’s the problem.”

Chanyeol was staring at him silently, his expression now completely unreadable and it gave Baekhyun a burst of courage, because that was a whole lot easier to face than a tormented Chanyeol.

“You shouldn’t be forcing yourself to try and make me happy, nor should you feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do to try to convince me to stay, either. I’d never ask or expect that of you and I _never_ wanted to make you feel uncomfortable like you are now. I know you pretend you don't mind kissing me, but you have to see that while it's just platonic to you, it means the _world_ to me. It makes me greedy and want _more_ of you and you're _not_ mine to want that way.”

Baekhyun tried to smile, but it felt shaky and wrong.

“I love you, Yeol. I’ll _always_ love you, you know that. But you _don’t_ belong to me. You belong to Rose.” His breath hitched and he squeezed his hand into a fist to feel the grounding ache in his wrist. “I think what we need is time apart. I won’t run away again, not like I did last time, but we need to put some space between us and get back to where we were _before_ everything became so complicated. We need to be _just_ best friends again, nothing more and nothing less. If that's the only way to be together then I'm willing to do everything in my power to make that work because I don't think I'm strong enough to leave you again."

Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrowed, the only crack in his expression. Baekhyun blinked rapidly again as his eyes threatened to leak, his chest tightening and his throat working around the lump forming in it. He felt sick, the words he was about to say making his stomach churn, but he knew it was the right thing. It’s what he _should_ have done all along, what he _started_ to do all those months ago when he left.

“Rose… _She’s_ the one you’re with and we shouldn’t disrespect her. What we’ve been doing _is_ wrong and I won’t do it anymore, it’s not fair on her _or_ me. She and I can’t both be in your life because there’s no way we can _both_ have you. It’s not fair to expect that of either of us. So, I am doing what I should have done from the beginning and I’m not going to come between you anymore. I… I want you to be happy. If we spend a few months working on our _individual_ lives I think things will be easier. You can be with Rosé and I'll find someone—”

“No.”

It was the first word Chanyeol had spoken and it made Baekhyun jerk at the harshness of his tone. With a gruff sound Chanyeol took a handful of Baekhyun’s jacket and dragged him close, crushing their lips together in a brutal kiss. Baekhyun immediately grabbed his shoulders and pushed, but Chanyeol had wrapped his arms around him, holding him in place and refused to let him escape. This kiss was one of anger and desperation, possession and need so strong that Baekhyun felt completely consumed. His hands pushing at Chanyeol's shoulders instead gripped them, holding Chanyeol just as tightly against him as he was, their teeth clashing and tongues sliding in an angry battle of wills.

There was no real victor in it, though, the two of them separating only to breathe, lips just centimetres apart that they were sharing breaths. They stared into one another’s eyes, Baekhyun with confusion and Chanyeol with a dark glare that made Baekhyun’s stomach drop.

“I hear what you’re trying to say to me Baek. But let's get one thing straight right now; you're mine, and I _don't_ share what's mine.”

Baekhyun drew in a sharp breath, his eyes closing. He knew that this was a battle he really had no hope of ever winning. He’d wanted to be strong, wanted to do the right thing for everyone, not _just_ for himself. But Chanyeol was the drug and Baekhyun was the sick addict _desperate_ for him.

“But Rose—”

“I’ll deal with Rose.”

Baekhyun stiffened, his eyes opening in alarm as he pulled his head back to look at Chanyeol. Seeing his expression, a grim smile pulled at Chanyeol’s lips.

“Don’t look so worried, I’m not going to kill her.”

Relief washed over him along with shame, because Baekhyun’s first thought really _had_ been that Chanyeol was going to kill her.

“Then what _did_ you mean?”

“Like you said, you can’t _both_ be in my life.”

A tight knot formed in Baekhyun’s stomach and he swallowed, his eyes once again burning.

“You can’t, Yeol. She’s your fiancé.”

“And you belong to _me_. If it’s a choice between you both I’ll _always_ choose you.”

A choked sob escaped Baekhyun’s throat and he buried his face into Chanyeol’s neck, unable to hold it back any longer. The hands wrapped around him loosened so Chanyeol could stroke one hand in his hair, the other running circles over his back as he made soothing sounds. It only made Baekhyun cry even harder. He’d never felt so conflicted, his emotions a chaotic mix of happiness, relief, love, guilt and self-loathing. Hearing Chanyeol say he chose him was bittersweet, like holding the winning lottery numbers, only to discover your ticket was for the _previous_ months draw. It was all he'd ever wanted to hear, what he'd dreamed of Chanyeol saying from the moment he'd heard he was getting married.

But now it was too little too late.


	18. Chapter 18

[ **18.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Looking around Chanyeol's spacious apartment, the windows Rose had paced in front of, the empty glass on the kitchen side he’d drank from… Baekhyun felt nothing but shame. There was no satisfaction in Chanyeol choosing him over Rose, not when there was this potential baby hanging over them. He knew without a doubt Chanyeol’s mind would change once he listened to Rose and found out she was pregnant. Knew she wouldn’t allow Baekhyun to be apart of his life.

“Hey, what’s with that face?” Chanyeol asked, watching Baekhyun looking around his apartment.

Shaking his head silently, Baekhyun walked towards his room, not sure why he’d come here at all. Maybe it was because he knew it would be the last time, that his time with Chanyeol was most likely limited. Looking around the bedroom that was more to familiar to him than his _own_ bedroom in his apartment, he felt his chest ache. Would this be the babys room? Or maybe they would get a _new_ place to raise their family like Rose had suggested, a house with a garden, a swing set and sand box for the baby to play in. The picture in his head of this imaginary house was like looking at something you desperately wanted, but knew you could _never_ have. It was the future Baekhyun couldn't give Chanyeol, the reality that though Baekhyun loved Chanyeol more, love couldn't produce miracles.

Rose could give Chanyeol _all_ of that. With Rose Chanyeol would have someone by his side he could show off proudly, someone who wouldn't make others talk behind his back or shun. The public already loved them, was looking forward to their wedding which was supposed to be one of the biggest events of next year. With Baekhyun, Chanyeol would _never_ get married legally in Korea, nor Father children. As far as Baekhyun was aware, there was no gay Mafia members either, at least not openly. Not that _Chanyeol_ was gay. But being beside Baekhyun... They would talk.

Hands rested on his shoulders behind him, rubbing them gently.

“Stop making that expression.” Chanyeol urged.

Closing his eyes, Baekhyun allowed his body to lean back into Chanyeol’s solid frame. This would be the last time because when he spoke to Rose _everything_ would change. Would they ever have this again? A part of him urged him to take whatever he _could_ , to make this last night a bittersweet memory he could hang onto. Turning in Chanyeol’s arms he looked up at him. Chanyeol regarded him back calmly and they stood so close Baekhyun could feel his warm breath fanning his face. Licking his lips, Baekhyun wanted to taste Chanyeol on him again, to kiss him and pretend even just for a _moment_ that everything would be alright. But for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it, to bridge that space between them.

“Can we talk?” He asked.

Chanyeol laughed felt as he pushed Baekhyun’s hair back.

“That depends. Are you going to break up with me?” Baekhyun flinched. “Wait, _is_ that what you want to talk about? I thought you said you weren’t going to leave.”

“I’m not. I just want to have a talk with you. As _friends_.”

What Baekhyun wanted _was_ that best friend, the one who had been by his side for the past 14 years through every obstacle life had thrown at them.

“We _are_ friends.”

“Then let’s talk.”

The two of them got ready for bed in silence, climbing in and laying together as they always had. Baekhyun was against Chanyeol’s side, head on his chest and arm thrown around his middle while Chanyeol’s hand played with his hair. It was comforting and familiar, something they had done since middle school, yet it made Baekhyun’s heart ache. Despite being the one who asked to talk, Baekhyun remained quiet and it was Chanyeol who spoke first.

“I don’t think I ever told you how I met Rose, did I?”

Baekhyun shook his head, his heart thumping at the mention of her name. He wasn’t sure what prompted Chanyeol to ask that but he couldn’t deny he _was_ curious. It had always felt to him as though Rose seemed to appear out of _nowhere_ ; one moment Chanyeol was happily single and the next he’s telling Baekhyun about his dates with her. And the engagement… Well, Baekhyun remembered only too well how hearing about _that_ had gone.

“Her Father owns quite a lot of land around Seoul and I was looking to expand my businesses. When negotiating their sale he kept hinting his daughter was single and he was looking for a suitable match for her, someone that he knew could give her the life of luxury she deserved. I figured _I_ could do that, I have the money and her father had the connections — me marrying her would benefit us _both_.”

“Wait, _what_?” Baekhyun frowned. “I thought…”

“What?”

“I thought you loved her.”

“No… I thought that maybe I _could_ grow to love her, since I was certainly _fond_ of her, more so than the other women I’d dated anyway. But I didn’t love her — I _don’t_ love her.”

“She loves _you_.”

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s chest rise and fall as he sighed, the air tickling the top of his head.

“Rose was aware of the deal I made with her father, _she_ was the one who ultimately agreed it. I was honest with her from the beginning like I am with all the women I date; that there was no guarantee I’d be able to love her. I was honest in the fact I’d be sleeping with other women too and she’d been completely understanding. It’s _why_ I’d grown so fond of her, that she never expected me to return her feelings.”

As he listened to Chanyeol talk, Baekhyun’s frown deepened. If what he was saying was true — and Baekhyun knew it was, because Chanyeol had always been like this with the previous women he dated, then why had Rose acted like she had with _him_? Chanyeol had been openly sleeping with other women, no doubt even courting them in front of Rose because his friend had form for doing that, so why focus on _his_ relationship with Chanyeol?

It made no sense. Why was _he_ the exception? Realising he’d probably never get the answer, at least not unless he spoke to Rose himself, Baekhyun decided it didn’t matter. In the end everything would come down to Chanyeol’s talk with her, the one Baekhyun was scared of the most.

“Maybe someday you would.” He suggested.

“No. I would _never_ be able to love her.”

"Why?"

"I... I've never loved _any_ of them before. It's just not possible." 

“That’s… Sad.” Baekhyun said softly.

Chanyeol’s fingers paused in his hair. “Sad?”

“I don’t think you know _how_ to love.”

Hearing how Chanyeol felt, actually verbally listening to the types of relationships he had… Baekhyun also realised that his friend really wasn’t as experienced in love as he thought. Though Chanyeol had plenty of experience in dating and being intimate with women, he’d _never_ loved any of them. Romantic love… It was something Baekhyun knew well, having loved Chanyeol that way for years, even if he couldn't accurately describe it.

Love was such a complex thing, made up of so many other elements; trust, companionship… _Friendship_. You could love a brother, mother, father. You could have two friends and love them both, perhaps one more than the other, but that still wasn’t what _Baekhyun_ felt. Crossing the lines between friendship, love and romantic love wasn’t a conscious choice Baekhyun had made, so he couldn’t determine whether Chanyeol’s love for him was the same. Only _Chanyeol_ could know that. But from what Chanyeol was saying, _that_ type of love wasn’t something he knew _how_ to feel.

An old sadness took root in his heart as he realised Chanyeol’s childhood and upbringing had clearly had a big influence on him. That perhaps the damage _couldn’t_ be fixed...

**_12 Years Ago_ **

Baekhyun looked at the empty bench, the two lunch boxes in his hands. It was the second day in a row Chanyeol hadn’t turned up for school and while that in _itself_ wasn’t unusual, since Chanyeol had taken to skipping pretty regularly since entering Baekhyun’s high school, the fact that Chanyeol also hadn’t turned up at his house to sleepover — or even just to see him — _was_ unusual. It was times like this Baekhyun wished his friend would let him buy him a cellphone so they could at least keep in touch _that_ way, but Chanyeol always refused his offers. He didn’t like it when Baekhyun bought him stuff.

Stubborn fool.

Deciding he was in no mood to eat lunch alone, _again_ , Baekhyun headed back into the school and to where the first year classrooms were, taking the familiar route to Chanyeol’s. The class was empty save for one student sat studying, the rest all out enjoying their lunch hour. Chanyeol’s home room teacher was sat at his desk marking paperwork, a frown on his face as he scanned over a sheet. Baekhyun approached him with a friendly smile.

“Hi, Sir. I was wondering whether Park Chanyeol is in school today?”

The home room teacher, Mr Shin, looked up at his voice and his face lit up with recognition.

“Ah Baekhyun! No he’s not in today _again_ , though this time he has an excuse, if you can believe it!” He chuckled.

“He’s sick?”

“Yeah, sounds like it. I’ve actually prepared some homework for one of his classmates to take him after school today— _not_ that he’ll complete it…”

“I’ll take it.”

Mr Shin’s eyes lit up. “You will? That would be great! If you could also convince him to complete it, at least _some_ of it, that would be even better!”

Baekhyun agreed he would at least _try_ , since getting Chanyeol just to attend class was battle enough. After getting Chanyeol’s address from Mr Shin, who didn’t seem to think it was strange Baekhyun didn’t know his best friends address, he left the classroom quickly, deciding to skip his afternoon classes. He only had gym and self study, after all. Grabbing his back pack from his classroom he left the school grounds, Chanyeol’s homework in his bag and his address in hand. He wasn’t sure what Chanyeol would say when he showed up, since his friend had always refused to take Baekhyun to his house, so Baekhyun was somewhat nervous when he arrived at the address listed on the scrap of paper Mr Shin had given him.

It was an apartment above a noodle shop in a run down area of the city. The people on the street were looking at him with suspicion, the patrons in the noodle shop openly watching him as he looked for the entrance to the apartment. Litter was everywhere and though it was barely 13:30 at this point he could hear a group of men drunkenly arguing in the barbers down the street. Kids were playing with a football at the far end, though Baekhyun knew they had to be skipping school to do so. The whole area screamed of poverty and crime, a complete contrast to the small, quiet middle class neighborhood he lived in.

He finally found the entrance to Chanyeol's house in the back alleyway behind the row of shops. Crinkling his nose at the smells coming from the industrial bins, he ascended up the metal outdoor staircase, the hand holding his bag tightening. The front door was made of steel and when Baekhyun knocked the metal flakes fell off like loose bark. After a few moments he heard the slide of locks before the door was opened outward with a groan. A woman stood in the doorway wearing just a dressing gown, the dark hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun shining with grease. She was perhaps in her early thirties, but the dark circles under her eyes and the fatigue lines in her sallow skin gave her a haggard appearance. 

“Listen kid, you’re not my usual type but as long as you _tell_ me you’re eighteen we can come to a deal.”

Baekhyun was taken back by her abruptness, his brain taking a moment to think of a coherent answer. She had her hip cocked and a smile on her lips revealing the few missing teeth in her mouth as she appraised him.

“G-good afternoon. I’m Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s classmate—”

“He’s never had a classmate over before.” She interrupted in her raspy voice, once again looking him over, this time with a frown.

He held up his bag. “I’ve brought his homework.”

“Homework?” She snorted. “Sure kid. You can go give him his homework, I’m sure he’ll be _real_ pleased with that.”

She stepped aside pointedly and Baekhyun entered, the overwhelming scent of her cheap perfume tickling his nose. Slamming the metal door shut again she slid across the internal lock and smirked at him when she caught him looking for the shoe rack.

“We wear shoes in the house.” She told him as she walked down the hall into the living room beyond.

Baekhyun followed, his eyes darting around the room. It was dark, all the red curtains drawn casting the room in an eerie glow. It smelled strongly of stale tobacco, the air before his eyes cloudy from it mixing in with the overly sweet smell of the woman’s perfume. The furnishings were simple, just a threadbare two-seat brown sofa, an old TV set perched on a box and a wooden coffee table between them, the surface covered in crumpled cigarette packets, empty bottles of beer, overfilled ashtrays and both used and new loose matches. The small room was open plan, with a small kitchen behind the TV and Baekhyun could see piles of dirty dishes on every surface, making him wonder where they could possibly find the space to prepare food in there.

The woman, who he could only assume was Chanyeol’s mother, sat down on the sofa and took a cigarette from one of the packs, lighting it with a match. 

“How old are you?” She asked, blowing the smoke out towards him. 

“Seventeen.”

“You look younger. Let me guess, you’re _just_ a student, right?”

Baekhyun wasn’t quite sure what that meant but he nodded. The woman’s face suddenly turned wistful as she flicked the ash from her cigarette into an empty beer bottle.

“Stay that way kid, you don’t want to be involving yourself with Chanyeol. You’re too _clean_.” He stood awkwardly, unsure what to even say to that when she suddenly gestured to the hallway dismissively. “His rooms the first door on the left.”

Bowing to her, Baekhyun scurried towards it, desperate to get away from that red veiled room and it’s overwhelming smell. Knocking softly on the first door on the left, he waited a moment before opening it. Inside was a tiny space, barely bigger than Baekhyun’s bathroom at home with just a single bed and a set of drawers inside it. Sprawled on that bed was Chanyeol wearing just a black vest top and a pair of sweatpants, his bare feet hanging off the end.

Since the last time Baekhyun had seen him his friend had fresh bruises on his face, one of his eyes blackened and his lip crusted with dried blood from the split in it. But it wasn’t those wounds that concerned him — it was the paleness of Chanyeol’s skin contrasting with the stark redness of his cheeks, his body coated in a layer of sweat that made his heart pound. Rushing into the room Baekhyun dropped his bag by the foot of the bed and bent over Chanyeol’s sleeping form to press his hand against his damp forehead.

At his touch Chanyeol made a sound of protest and pushed his hand away, squinting at him blearily.

“… Baek?” He mumbled.

“Have you taken any medicine?” Baekhyun asked immediately, withdrawing his hand. “You’ve got a temperature.”

“No medicine…” he sat up with effort, his body clearly weak. Baekhyun helped him sit back against his headboard. “Why are you here?”

“I brought your homework.”

Chanyeol made a scoffing sound. “You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“Well I’m glad I did, otherwise I wouldn’t have known you really _are_ sick. I thought you were just skipping.”

“I’ll be fine when I sleep.”

“You look _awful_ , Yeol.”

Chanyeol shook his head. “You need to leave. You shouldn’t have come here.”

Ignoring him, Baekhyun asked where the bathroom is. Seeing that Baekhyun wasn’t going to leave until he told him, Chanyeol reluctantly gave in and Baekhyun left his bedroom for the door opposite. The bathroom was completely tiled but it seems every single one was cracked or missing entirely, the room smelling strongly of mould and the small space in complete chaos, the toilet and sink filthy, products crammed in every available space, some of the bottles empty. Finding a bowl under the sink, Baekhyun cleaned it out in the sink and filled it with water, grabbing what he assumed had to be a clean hand towel in the overhead cupboard.

Stepping back into the hall he heard the sound of Chanyeol’s mothers voice speaking to someone lowly by the front door. Closing Chanyeol’s door behind him he knelt at the side of his bed with the bowl and began to wipe over Chanyeol’s sweat soaked skin, cooling it whilst also cleaning away the sweat. Chanyeol watched him in silence but didn’t protest, his eyes even closing with a sigh when the washcloth cooled his fevered forehead. He tried to be gentle when cleaning the blood away from his lip but Chanyeol still winced, his body tensing. With his skin clean Baekhyun went through Chanyeol’s drawers and pulled out a fresh T shirt and pair of sweatpants, helping him change into them when it became clear his friend didn’t have the energy.

Just as he was settling Chanyeol back under his duvet did he become aware of a sound coming from the wall connecting to the living space. There was creaks, slow at first before they gradually began to pick up rhythm followed by the unmistakable sound of moans, both male and female. Baekhyun paused by the bedroom door with the bowl.

“Don’t go out yet, she’ll be finished soon.” Chanyeol said to his back.

Turning back around he noticed Chanyeol’s expression wasn’t embarrassed or even surprised by what they could clearly hear happening in the other room.

“Is your dad home?” Baekhyun asked as casually as he could as he sat back down beside Chanyeol’s bed.

“No. She’s servicing one of her _clients_.”

“But your dad—”

“Don’t worry, he knows and he doesn’t mind. He’s at work at the moment but she takes customers even when he’s here too. She doesn’t care _who_ is around to see and hear what she does.”

His tone was cold but factual making Baekhyun uncomfortable, more so when he began to realise his Mothers weird choice of wording when she’d opened the door.

“Who hit you?” He asked, changing the subject.

“My dad.”

“ _Why_?”

Chanyeol smiled without humour. “Usually it’s to toughen me up, but this time it was to teach me a lesson. He said I’m getting too cocky.”

Baekhyun looked away sharply from the bruises, his stomach twisting. He felt nothing but hatred towards Chanyeol’s Father for abusing him, but he was beginning to hate his Mother too for the type of abuse _she_ was doing.

“Will you lie with me?” Chanyeol asked suddenly.

Baekhyun immediately got up and lied beside Chanyeol, his bed smaller than Baekhyun’s forcing him to literally press against him. Chanyeol scooted down so he could rest his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, his body relaxing against him. Stroking his hand through Chanyeol’s hair, Baekhyun concentrated on the sound of their breathing as he tried to ignore the sounds coming from the other room, though it was difficult.

“I like this.” Chanyeol murmured, nuzzling his face into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. “You’re the only one who’s ever stroked my hair before.”

“Didn’t your mum ever do it when you were little?”

“No. My mother’s _never_ cared about me — as far as she’s concerned I’m just some _animal_ that happens to live in the same vicinity as her. The only time I ever exist is when she’s drunk and decides to blame me for everything that’s gone wrong in her life. If she’d never had me she’d have a nicer figure, more money, better clients…” He laughed without humour. “She acts as if my existence in this word is to ruin her life.”

His voice stopped and Baekhyun realised it was because he’d stopped stroking his hair. Chanyeol sighed contently when he started again and carried on his half-delirious babble, admitting things Baekhyun knew he never would have without the fever.

“My dad doesn’t love her and she _knows_ that. He married her because she was sold to him in place of a debt her former pimp owed, and he’s _never_ let her forget it. He even whores her out to his business partners sometimes, or uses her to fuck guys who he owes money too himself to buy more time. He beats her, though not as much now that I’m older and he focuses on _me_. He says he’s training me, preparing me for my future, like I'm supposed to be grateful.”

“Preparing you by _hitting_ you?”

“Yeah. He’s never been interested in me unless it’s to try teach me his work. He only lets me go to school because he thinks it will give me some kind of advantage, but he doesn’t _care_ whether I go or not. _Neither_ of them care. When my mother fell pregnant with me he’d forced her to keep me only because he’d wanted an heir, someone to take over his shitty business.”

“What’s his business?”

“He’s a loan shark and he’s recently started a gambling operation, but he’s been losing money at his _own_ games because he’s a fucking idiot.”

Chanyeol’s voice had turned to one of disgust when discussing his Father’s occupation, though Baekhyun was getting the impression his annoyance wasn’t directed at what his father did, but rather _how_ he did it.

“Do you _want_ to take over after him?” Baekhyun asked curiously.

“No.” Chanyeol said softly. “I’m going to do _more_ than run a shitty loan shark operation; I’m going to _rule_. I’m going to destroy him and leave him to suffer in his cesspit with my mother and I’m going to make him watch as I _burn_ his business to the ground.”

And at the absolute conviction in his tone… Baekhyun really didn’t doubt he _would_.


	19. Chapter 19

[ **19.** **Baekhyun** ]  


That next morning Baekhyun and Chanyeol went out to buy him a new phone, choosing a model that was similar to his old one despite Chanyeol’s insistence he should get a newer one. They bickered. They laughed. They even went to get _ice cream_. It was all so normal. For the first time in a long time, they had a perfectly _ordinary_ morning, one like any other they had spent together. But for Baekhyun, from the moment he woke up he felt as though the day was shadowed by a cloud of finality. Their _last_ breakfast together. Their _last_ shopping trip. Their _last_ car ride… He couldn’t stop himself from overthinking every action, concerned that each one could potentially be their last.

That this _day_ could be their last together.

It made him eager to _keep_ it ordinary, but Chanyeol was eager to get him checked over. So after shopping most of the morning away they went to Doctor Yixing’s at Chanyeol’s insistence to get his wrist checked out, since it had been throbbing when he’d woken up. The Doctor didn’t seem surprised to see them so unexpectedly. Baekhyun sat on the table while he looked over his wrist, wincing when it was bent this way and that, the joint particularly tender today.

“You needed to _rest_ this.” Yixing scolded half-heartedly as he shook his head. “You’ve been putting strain on it, haven’t you?”

Suddenly Baekhyun was reminded about the Doctor he’d seen with Taeyeon, what he’d said about _straining_ his wrist and he couldn’t stop his cheeks from warming in embarrassment. Something which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by Chanyeol who gave him a questioning look. Looking away quickly, Baekhyun instead focused on the Doctor has he wrapped his wrist in another support and warned him to take it easy this time.

“Your nose is healing better.” Yixing said as he tilted Baekhyun’s face from side to side. “Still a bit of bruising. Does it hurt?”

“No.”

Again Baekhyun’s cheeks warmed, because his nose _was_ somewhat tender today. He had a feeling it was from Chanyeol’s rough kisses yesterday in Taeyeon’s stairwell, but he wasn’t about to admit _that,_ certainly not to a Doctor and in front of the culprit himself. So, he remained silent as the Doctor applied a salve for bruising and swelling across his nose and cheekbone, studiously refusing to look at Chanyeol. He should have known, however, that Chanyeol would pick up on his strange mood because the moment they left Yixing’s home he was suddenly pushed up against the wall outside.

“You were blushing.” Chanyeol accused, his eyes scanning Baekhyun’s. “ _Why_?”

Baekhyun looked around, since Minseok was nearby, and they weren’t exactly anywhere conspicuous. Thankfully no one seemed to be about.

“Ah, there’s no reason—”

“Do you like him?”

Baekhyun blinked dumbly for a moment, confused about how Chanyeol was talking about. _Him_? When it finally clicked, a smile tugged on his lips.

“I suppose he _is_ handsome…” He admitted playfully.

Chanyeol scowled and pushed away from the wall, storming back towards Yixing’s door with long strides. Baekhyun barely managed to catch up to him, grabbing his arm with a laugh as he held him back.

“Oh come on Yeol, I was just pointing out the obvious. Yixing _is_ handsome — even you can acknowledge that.”

Chanyeol turned on him again. “No, I won't fucking _acknowledge_ that.”

“Yeol—”

“ _Don’t_.” He snapped, reaching up to grip his jaw. “Your attention is _mine_.”

Baekhyun was stunned to silence. Chanyeok was staring at him hard, jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as though he was _daring_ Baekhyun to deny it. And for one moment Baekhyun _wanted_ to, but he knew his friend clearly wasn't in any kind of joking mood. With a soft sigh he brought his hand up to rest it over Chanyeol’s.

“You’re not seriously _jealous_ , are you?” He asked. When Chanyeol didn’t answer Baekhyun held back the sudden need to laugh and cupped his friend’s cheek back. “There’s nothing to _be_ jealous about.”

“Isn’t there?” Chanyeol asked lowly.

“No. Yixing’s handsome but I’m not attracted to him.” Narrowing his eyes he gave Chanyeol’s cheek a light slap with the hand holding it. “But even if I _did_ that’s none of your business.”

“How the Hell isn’t it my business? You’re mine.” He said, sounding annoyed.

The hand holding Baekhyun’s jaw titled his face upwards and that was the only warning he got before Chanyeol gave him a quick kiss on the lips, his touch gone before Baekhyun could react.

“I’ll let today go, since Yixing is already engaged to a lovely lady in China. But if I find out you’ve been blushing over _other_ guys…”

“You’ll _what_?”

Chanyeol smiled coldly and took a step back. “Let’s not find out the extent I’d go for you, Baek. I’m not sure _either_ of us would like it.” Baekhyun shivered, his argument lodged in his throat. “Come on. I have someplace to be.”

Baekhyun followed him back to Minseok’s waiting car in silence. He wasn’t sure what part of what had just happened to focus on more; Chanyeol kissing him or what he’d said. The truth was Baekhyun had no intention of ever intentionally pushing Chanyeol to any extremes, but he was also beginning to wonder _where_ that boundary was now. Before, Chanyeol would probably have found the prospect of Baekhyun blushing over anyone amusing, but now it was apparently a no-no. And the fact that Chanyeol had kissed him _outside_ , where potentially _anyone_ could have seen. He’d done it naturally too, as though they were—

Baekhyun quickly shook his head. He was getting carried away with himself, once again romanticising touches and words between them. What was often just casual affection from Chanyeol would always be perceived as _more_ to him and had since he’d developed feelings for his friend. He just couldn’t _help_ it. Reading into things between them had always been his way of hoping for _more_ and it was a hard habit to break out of. Because Baekhyun would always want more. 

Minseok drove them to one of Chanyeol’s clubs which was closed to the public at this time in the early afternoon. But inside were the two owners, brothers in their late fifties who had worked for Chanyeol for as long as Baekhyun could remember. One had his arm in a sling while the other walked with a slight limp, both clearly worse for wear. They seemed somewhat nervous to see Chanyeol, ignoring Baekhyun's presence entirely as each of them dropped to their knees in front of him and bowed lowly.

"Get up." Chanyeol sighed, kicking out as one of them went to grab his leg. "And stop fucking grovelling. It's only pissing me off _more_." 

They stood nervously, clearly fearing Chanyeol's reaction. None of it was Baekhyun's business, so as Chanyeol joined them at a table to talk he sat apart from them at the bar, wanting to be as far away from the chain smoking brothers and their stinky cigars. The woman working behind the bar looked up as he took a seat and leaned across it, purposely crossing her arms under her breasts, covered in just a skimpy bikini, and smiled at him seductively.

“What can I get you handsome?” She asked.

“Coke, please.”

She winked and leaned across to run a painted red finger nail across his chest. “Anything else…?”

Baekhyun smiled, ignoring the suggestion behind her words. “No, thanks.”

Giving him a wink she stood upright and cracked the top off a can of Coke and poured it into a glass for him. Baekhyun accepted it and took a deep drink.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything else?" She asked, licking her red lips. "We have some room if you're shy of having an audience..."

"No." Baekhyun said more firmly. 

She watched him wistfully a moment before signing, dropping her act of seduction. “I’m seriously losing it.”

“Sorry?”

“Am I beautiful?” She asked bluntly.

Baekhyun didn’t even to think about his answer. “Yes.”

“Do I have a nice body?”

“Of course.”

She grinned. “Am I not your type?”

“Ah… _Something_ like that.”

“See, _that_ I get. Not everyone is into big tits, a big ass or even brunettes. But it was never a problem _before_.”

“Before what?”

She sighed again. “For Mr Park.”

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun confirmed.

“Yeah. He was in here the other day to discuss business and rejected me.” She laughed bitterly. “I think I’m losing my touch because he _used_ to be into my type.”

Baekhyun considered that as he looked her over. She really was stunning; great figure, pretty face, huge breasts, long dark hair… She was right, she certainly _was_ Chanyeol’s usual type. The thought only brought his mood down further and he looked away from her bitterly.

“He’s focusing on business.”

“No, it’s not that. He’s been _weird_ for a few months now, even my Boss' have said it.”

Baekhyun resisted the urge to glance behind him to where his friend was sat with her Boss', the two Brothers. He could tell she didn't want to be overheard and he had a feeling she hadn't even meant to say that to him at all, but she certainly had his interest now. 

“Weird how?”

The woman chewed her lip before grabbing a stool and sitting opposite him. She leaned closer over the bar, though this time there was no seduction in her actions but merely discretion as she lowered her voice.

“He used to be one our best customers here. After he’d talk business with the Boss’ he’d always choose a girl and have a bit of _fun_ , sometimes with a _few_ of the girls…” her voice trailed off wistfully.

Baekhyun took a quick drink of his coke to stop the scowl from taking over his expression. When he was sure it was under control he gave her a placating look.

“He’s _engaged_ now, so it’s only natural.”

“You’re kidding right?” The woman laughed, giving his arm a slap. “He’s been coming here _since_ he got engaged to that rich girl, probably more so. He’s been one of our best customers for _years_! No, it’s something _else_ …”

“Like what?”

"I don't know! All I know if that he's completely _changed_ and it's making people talk _._ It's been months since he's given any girls here so much as a second glance and it's making my Boss' uneasy. They're not sure what to make of it."

"They're worried?"

She snorted. "Of _course_ they are. Ever since they fucked up with that shipment they promised him—" She cut off and her eyes widened in alarm.

Baekhyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead rested his hand on top of hers. 

"It's fine." He reassured her. "I'm not going to say anything."

She glanced around nervously. "They'd _kill_ me. I... I already know more than I should, but it's hard _not_ to when I'm serving them drinks or sucking their dicks while they talk business, you know?"

Baekhyun _didn't_ know, but he nodded along with her. She chewed her lip again and then let out a huff. 

"Look, if you don't believe me that he's changed, then _w_ _atch_.” She said.

Grabbing the drinks another woman had made she carried them over to the men drinking, swaying her hips as she walked. Even Baekhyun could acknowledge she was a sight to behold and it was obvious she _knew_ it. Wearing just a string bikini, all of her body on full display she was the walking definition of a straight mans wet dream, her head held high with a confidence that was even mesmerising to him. One of the brothers slapped her ass with a laugh while another man at the table openly leered at her. But when she placed a drink in front of Chanyeol and trailed her hand across his shoulder, he shrugged her away without so much as a glance. Baekhyun didn’t miss the looks the men exchanged, either. The woman returned back behind the bar with a triumphant look.

“See?”

“Maybe he’s just…” he floundered for an excuse and she laughed.

“He’s _never_ turned down the girls here before. Normally he’d love the attention, but lately he’s been like _that_. I thought maybe it was me, but we even had a fresh rotation of girls and he’s reacted like that to them, too. He’d usually be all too eager to play with them, to try them out, but he's not done it in _months_ now and it's making everyone nervous.”

His brows lowered at her words. He knew, of course, what Chanyeol had been like in his clubs. Had even seen it _himself_ a few times in the past how much Chanyeol liked coming here so he could mess around with the women. And though Baekhyun had made excuses so he didn’t have to go, he’d still known what Chanyeol had got up to whenever he came here. He’d actually assumed today would be something similar, had even in some twisted way hoped Chanyeol _would_ go into a back room to fool around. It would have been the wake up call he needed.

The woman sat back down and leaned in close to him again, lowering her tone. Baekhyun also leaned towards her curiously.

“In my experience it’s either one of two things; either he has some issue _getting it up_ …” She made a motion lifting her pinky finger then dropping it sadly and Baekhyun almost choked on his own saliva. “… Or he’s in _love_.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Baekhyun muttered.

“Trust me. Men like _him_ , when they fall they fall _hard_.”

“But he’s…” He shook his head.

“I’ve worked around their type all my life and that’s the only two reasons it _can_ be. Now personally I don’t think he has any issue getting it up, his reputation among the girls here is _legendary_. Which leads me to believe he’s finally had his heart swayed by someone.” She smiled sadly. “It happens to the best of us.”

But Baekhyun really couldn’t believe that. Chanyeol had said himself that he didn’t love Rose and wasn’t even capable of loving _anyone_ like that. Figuring it most likely had to do with the fact that Chanyeol was simply getting his kicks at _other_ clubs, he kept his opinion to himself, not wanting to offend the woman since she seemed genuinely concerned it was something _she’d_ done. 

The drive back to Chanyeol’s hours later was in silence; Chanyeol preoccupied by the emails on his phone and Baekhyun thinking over the things the woman had said. She’d tried to prove to him a few times her theory, ordering different girls to Chanyeol's table, even arranging a woman to give the men lap dances. But Chanyeol hadn’t given any of them a glance and had even refused to let the women dancing come _near_ him. Overall it had been a weird day and not at all what Baekhyun was used to seeing when he visited the clubs. 

Back at Chanyeol's apartment, Baekhyun retreated into into his bedroom and crinkled his nose at the smell coming from his clothing. Stepping into his bathroom, he began to strip of his clothing, considering simply having it all _burned_. He was unbuttoning his jeans when suddenly he was turned around and roughly pushed back against the tiles, the coolness against his bare back making him shiver. Hands rested on the wall on either side of his head caging him in and Chanyeol’s eyes were running over his face, before they moved lower to his neck, lips curling into a satisfied grin at whatever he saw there.

“I like seeing _my_ mark on you.” He said with a touch of wonder. “It makes me want to mark you up _more_.”

“I barely hid these with my shirt.” Baekhyun protested.

When he'd been getting ready that morning he'd noticed the red marks on his neck, presents from Chanyeol's moment in the stairwell. They'd made his stomach flutter at the memory, yet sink simultaneously. 

“I _want_ people to see.”

Chanyeol's head dipped down and Baekhyun’s neck stretched on instinct as Chanyeol pressed his lips against his skin, sucking it into his mouth hard. Another mark. Pulling away Chanyeol admired his handiwork and sighed with satisfaction.

“I want to mark you up permanently so everyone knows you’re _mine_.”

“P-permanent?” Baekhyun gasped as Chanyeol once again sucked on his neck.

Chanyeol hummed as he licked over his newest mark and Baekhyun’s eyes closed with a sigh. Right. _Wrong_. Good. _Bad_. How could a moment, a feeling, be all of those things? He wanted to pull Chanyeol against him and push him away, the two urges warring. 

“Everyone who looks at you would know that you’re mine. That _they_ can’t have you." Chanyeol paused in nuzzling against the crook of his neck. "But…”

“...But?”

Baekhyun opened his eyes as Chanyeol pulled away. An emotion flickered across his face, but it was gone too quickly for Baekhyun to identify it.

“I’m afraid of _ruining_ you.”

“You’ve _already_ ruined me.” Baekhyun whispered.

A choked sound left Chanyeol’s throat and he leaned down, pressing his Lips against Baekhyun’s. This kiss wasn’t quick or chaste and when he felt Chanyeol’s tongue he pushed him away before he could fully submit like he desperately _wanted_ to. 

“No. Not until you’ve spoken to Rose.” He protested.

“There’s no need. I’ve already sent word to her Father that the engagement is off.”

He moved down to kiss him again but Baekhyun held him back, turning his face away stubbornly. Chanyeol backed away with confusion.

"Baek?" 

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Call off the engagement through her Father! That’s just… _Cruel_.”

“I _told_ you, the engagement was a business deal—”

“Not to Rose it wasn’t. She _loves_ you, Yeol. You can’t do this to her.” Pushing Chanyeol back away from him fully Baekhyun drew in a shuddery breath. “You need to speak to her properly, face to face.”

“Is that what you want?”

 _No_. “Yes.”

Chanyeol nodded. “Fine. Then I’ll go speak to her.”

He tried not to flinch at his words, but it was hard, even if he _had_ been the one to suggest it he didn't _really_ want Chanyeol to leave. Baekhyun slumped back against the wall again when Chanyeol left, his legs trembling so hard that he sank to the ground, face buried in his hands. This would be it. He hated that he’d sent Chanyeol to go to her but at the same time… He knew it was the _right_ thing. Rose, as much as he disliked her, really didn’t deserve to have her engagement called off through her Father. That was insensitive even for Chanyeol. Baekhyun had no idea what outcome would come of this, what would become of either him or Chanyeol after this.

But whatever happened he knew he’d be able to face it without guilt.


	20. Chapter 20

[ **20.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Like he always seemed to do when he was extremely on edge… Baekhyun rang Taeyeon after his shower.

“Oh, _now_ you call.” She sneered in answer. “It’s not like you left my flat over 24 hours ago and I have been _waiting_ to hear how it went or anything!”

Baekhyun sighed as he ran a towel through his damp hair and sank down on the huge sofa.

“I had to get a new phone—” He tried to explain, but her snort cut him off.

“And _who’s_ fault is that?”

“Your wall?” He joked half-heartedly. “And anyway, _you’re_ the Judas who kicked me out of your apartment, or did you forget that?”

“ _Judas_!? Byun Baekhyun, I am the Buzz to your Woody, the Romy to your Michelle—”

“Whose _Romy_ and _Michelle_?”

“It’s a movie. The point I’m _trying_ to make it that sometimes you don’t think logically, especially when it concerns Chanyeol. That’s why I kicked you out, my apartment couldn’t take it if you guys decided to hash it out in here.”

“Speaking of Chanyeol…”

“What happened? Did you guys talk?”

Baekhyun told her absolutely _everything_ , pouring out every detail — even the ones that made him blush and squirm when admitting. Taeyeon listened quietly, only breaking her silence to squeal excitedly when he recounted the kisses in the hallway and again their interaction outside Doctor Yixing’s. When he concluded how he’d sent Chanyeol to go speak to Rose, she let out a groan.

“You are far too self-serving.” She said. “You must be the _only_ person I know who would give their love rival a chance.”

“If there’s even a possibility she _is_ pregnant then Chanyeol needs to speak to her. I won’t ever be the reason a child doesn’t have their Father.”

“That has nothing to do with _you_ , though. That’s between them. You owe her nothing, certainly not after the things she said to you. I get why you did it, Baek, but _still_. I wish you’d be more selfish sometimes.”

“The waiting is awful. What if he comes back and says it _is_ true? I’ll had to leave, Tae. I can’t watch him raising a family with her.”

“No matter what happens you need to speak to him. Even if she’s pregnant it’s not _guaranteed_ he’s going to go back to her; he’s already made it clear that he doesn’t love her. What you need to establish is what’s going on between _you two_. No-one else, no outside influences. All this uncertainty… You can’t keep living with it and it’s time you put yourself first. You deserve to be happy too, Baek.”

“I know.” He sniffed.

“ _Please_ promise me you will speak to him. You need to know where you both stand and you need to stop living with _what ifs_. Chanyeol is leading you on whether he’s intending to or not. The way he acts and the things he says to you _aren’t_ the things a _normal_ friend says.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to slam me against a wall and kiss me?” He tried to joke to break the serious tone of their conversation.

Taeyeon’s laughter tickled his ear down the phone. “ _If_ I push you against a wall it will be to slam your head against it to knock some sense into you!” She teased. “Don’t tempt me!”

Baekhyun assured her he would speak to Chanyeol, because he really _was_ planning on having it out with him. The talk between them was long, _long_ overdue and though he’d attempted a few times in the past to initiate it, things would always stop him. Fate, it seemed, was intent on punishing Baekhyun to the full extent that he was beginning to wonder _what_ exactly he’d done in a past life to deserve all of _this_. Granted, most of it he understood was his own doing. Wasn’t he the idiot who fell for his _straight_ best friend in the first place? He had known it would be painful, had known things would never go smoothly but like a love-sick puppy he’d clung to that love like a lifeline. And like Taeyeon had said, he really _was_ self-serving.

But he also knew he could never live with himself if he didn’t do everything in his power to have Chanyeol _fairly_.

After he got off the phone with Taeyeon, Baekhyun turned on the TV to distract himself, selecting a movie at random and staring at it without recognition. He wasn’t concentrating on the plot or the characters, couldn’t even have told anyone what genre the movie was, let alone the title, but it served as perfect background noise as he played out various scenarios in his mind on how tonight _could_ go, ranging from disastrous to _perfect_ , happily ever after type of scenes that made him sigh and become more anxious as the hours ticked by.

Three movies later at 2am the elevator doors _finally_ opened. He immediately paused the unknown movie and glanced over to see Chanyeol struggling to remove his shoes and change into his house slippers. Baekhyun approached, immediately smelling the alcohol coming off a clearly inebriated Chanyeol. Finally standing up right wearing his house slippers – _on the wrong feet_ – Chanyeol noticed him.

“Was you waiting for me?” He asked, a slight slur to his words. “Let me guess, you want to talk?”

“I _did_ … But I think you better go to bed. We can talk tomorrow.” _When you’re sober_.

“No. That won’t work for me.” Chanyeol reached out towards his face and Baekhyun took a quick step back, causing his friend to frown. “Why did you move away?”

“Because you’re _drunk_.”

At Chanyeol’s baffled look, Baekhyun resisted the urge to sigh and instead began to head into the kitchen to get his drunken friend a glass of water to help sober him up, cursing internally at the wrong timing – _again_ – when a hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Baekhyun barely had time to register what was happening when Chanyeol pushed him back to the wall and trapped him against it with his own body, hands holding his hips firmly.

“I’m tired of your excuses.” He muttered.

Baekyun stared at him, stunned almost to silence by the completely unexpected move. He was stuck between the wall and Chanyeol, his friend’s alcohol laced breath panting close to his ear making his skin tingle and his own heart quicken in response as Chanyeol nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck.

“ _Yeol_ —”

His protest was cut off as Chanyeol tilted his head up and bit his earlobe, eliciting a breathless gasp from Baekhyun, goosebumps erupting over his skin. Chanyeol chuckled, his teeth releasing their hold as his lips skimmed down his jaw back to his neck, kissing and licking as he went until he once again drew Baekhyun’s skin into his mouth, sucking hard enough that there would most _definitely_ be another mark there. Baekhyun’s body arched into the touch, but Chanyeol’s hand on his hips pressed him back against the wall as his mouth pressed soft kisses against the mark he’d left.

Heart pounding, Baekhyun’s head was a riot of indecision. His body _wanted_ this, craved it so badly that it was squirming with every touch, eyes closing at he got lost in the sensation. But the rational part of him – or what was left of it – wanted answers from Chanyeol, to demand clarity on what the Hell was happening and what his friend was even thinking right now. But the words just wouldn’t come, sticking in this throat as he found himself unable to voice _anything_ that wasn’t a breathy moan.

“I love your lips.” Chanyeol panted, and Baekhyun opened his eyes to find his friend watching him.

As if to prove his point he leaned down and flicked his tongue over Baekhyun’s lower lip, running it across the seam of his mouth before pressing their lips together, tongues immediately clashing. Chanyeol’s kisses tasted of the strong liquor he’d been drinking but like an alcoholic; Baekhyun couldn’t get enough. His hands gripped Chanyeol’s forearms for purchase and all along his body he could feel the heat coming from Chanyeol, could smell his cologne mixed in with smoke and whiskey as he was crowded against the wall. And when Chanyeol slid one of his legs between his, Baekhyun wasn’t even ashamed of the whimper he let out. There was a fire in his belly, a familiar warmth that made him groan lowly as Chanyeol’s hands on his hips prompted him to ride his thigh. And Baekhyun did, the exquisite pressure of the grinding driving him _insane_ with need.

It was everything. It wasn’t _enough_.

The hands on his hips ran down to his thighs and Baekhyun shivered. But instead of touching the inside of his thighs to where Baekhyun desperately _wanted_ to be touched, Chanyeol’s long fingers ghosted to the back and then suddenly lifted. Their lips separated as Baekhyun yelped and grabbed at Chanyeol’s shoulders in shock, stomach dropping as he had the sudden fear of falling. But Chanyeol supported his weight, hands securely clutching close to his ass whilst Baekhyun’s back rested against the wall. Instinctively, Baekhyun hooked his legs around his friend’s waist for purchase.

“Yeol!” Baekhyun scolded breathlessly.

“ _This_ is better.” Was all his friend said before bringing their lips back together.

Baekhyun had to agree – this _was_ better. He gripped Chanyeol’s hair and let out an audible moan when he was pushed harder into the wall by his hips. Between his sweatpant covered legs he could clearly feel Chanyeol’s hardness as Chanyeol ground their hips together, a slow roll movement that had Chanyeol’s hardness pressing against his own. The warmth in his lower stomach built until Baekhyun felt a swell of panic, the feeling breaking through the cloud of lust. Grabbing Chanyeol’s hair harder he yanked his head back, breaking their kiss.

“No!” He begged, shaking his head.

Chanyeol’s hips stilled and he blinked at Baekhyun blearily.

“Baek…?”

“No, Yeol. Not now. _Please_.”

“Why?”

Baekhyun averted his eyes. “I… I want to know what happened, first. With Rose.”

Chanyeol let out a humourless laugh and lowered Baekhyun so he was standing upright again. Baekhyun watched him storm into the kitchen and grab a bottle of whiskey from his cupboard and pour a shot into a _mug_ , of all things. He knocked it back in one.

“Did she tell you?” He asked as he poured himself another.

“That’s she’s p- _pregnant_? Yeah.”

Chanyeol scoffed and stared down at the drink in his mug, his expression hard. Baekhyun could see his hands tighten around it to the point he worried whether he would break it, thankful in that moment his friend hadn’t grabbed a glass, after all.

“She lied.”

The words were both a lead weight in Baekhyun’s stomach and a shot of relief. He sagged against the kitchen counter and shook his head in disbelief as he processed that, but everything felt so chaotic. She lied. She _lied_! He wanted to laugh and cry. Chanyeol looked up from his drink and smirked coldly at whatever expression he could see on his face.

“You believed her, didn’t you?” He asked.

“What was I _supposed_ to believe?” Baekhyun asked back softly. “It’s not like you _haven’t_ been sleeping with her.”

“ _Fucking_. I’ve been fucking her.” Chanyeol corrected, as if it would make any difference. “The moment she said it I took her straight to Yixing for a test. She didn’t expect _that_ and he soon confirmed what a lying, deceitful _bitch_ she is.”

Baekhyun felt the lead in his stomach becoming heavier at the flatness of Chanyeol’s tone. A silence stretched between them, thick with anger, pain and resentment. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. _Sorry_? Was he even sorry? He brought his fingers to his swollen lips, suddenly feeling anxious. He didn’t like this _at all_. Chanyeol was now glaring down at his mug, jaw tense and fingers flexing around the whiskey bottle as though he was contemplating drinking directly from it.

“Did you _want_ her to be pregnant?” He asked at last.

“That’s all I _ever_ wanted from her. An Heir.” Chanyeol sneered. “My bloodline to carry on my empire so it would _always_ be _mine_.”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure it was possible for a heart to crack, but he was certain in that moment _his_ did. A fissure had split straight through the center of his and the physical _pain_ of it made him gasp sharply and lean heavily against the counter. _Just like his Father_ , was his first cruel, spiteful thought. But then he realised it might be _more_ than that, that perhaps Chanyeol had just wanted a son of his own to raise _right_. Wasn’t that the wish of _every_ heterosexual male, to have a son? As Chanyeol slammed back that second shot of whiskey Baekhyun swallowed down the lump in his throat.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have broken up with her, then, if you _want_ an heir.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Chanyeol muttered, still staring into his cup with a closed off expression as he refilled it for the third time. “I’m done with her.”

“Of course it _matters_ , Yeol! She can give you an Heir! She can give you _everything_ you want, everything I _can’t_!” Baekhyun yelled, his voice breaking.

Chanyeol shoved his drink aside so hard it fell over and spilled the brown liquid across the granite. Storming towards Baekhyun he grabbed his shoulders and gave him a harsh shake.

“There’s _nothing_ she has that I want.” He said harshly. His eyes flickered between Baekhyun’s damp ones before dropping to his lips as he softened his tone. “But you… _You_ are everything I want.”

They were words that Baekhyun had always longed to hear and his poor, broken heart twitched and ached. He _wanted_ to believe them. Wanted desperately to believe that Chanyeol was willing to forgo _everything_ to be with him. But it was _so_ difficult. A sob escaped and he felt a tear slip down his cheek. Chanyeol watched it fall before leaning forward and catching it with his lips as it reached the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. It almost made Baekhyun break down and he barely managed to keep himself composed.

“I… I’ll _never_ be able to give you an heir, Yeol.” He whispered, the words barely audible.

“No, you won’t. But I want everything from you that I _can_ get.”

As Chanyeol kissed him again, this time softly, gently, Baekhyun felt a mixture of emotions. Hurt. Confusion. Want. _Desire_. The painful heaviness in his chest seemed to pull him against Chanyeol and with a half gasp, half sob he grabbed Chanyeol’s shoulders and kissed him back. He wasn’t even aware of Chanyeol guiding him back to the sofa until he felt it hit the back of his thighs and he fell back onto it, Chanyeol coming down on top of him heavily knocking the air from his lungs.

“Shit. Sorry.” Chanyeol muttered against his cheek as he pressed wet kisses down his jaw to his neck.

Baekhyun lifted his head to give him better access, and Chanyeol kissed his throat needily before trying to move _lower_. With a sound of frustration he sat up, knees on either side of Baekhyun’s hips and grabbed the hem of his shirt, causing Baekhyun’s eyes to pop open.

“ _Off_.” Chanyeol ordered.

Baekhyun quickly sat up and complied, grabbing his T-shirt and pulling it off, the cool air immediately hitting his flushed skin. Tossing it to the ground, he watched as Chanyeol shrugged off his own suit jacket and began to unbutton his shirt, eyes running over Baekhyun’s naked chest seeming to scorch a blazing trail everywhere they looked.

“You’re so _smooth_.” He muttered, pausing in unbuttoning his shirt to run a hand over Baekhyun's pecs and down his flat stomach. “Your skin is so soft…”

With shaking fingers Baekhyun unbuttoned the rest of Chanyeol’s shirt for him and pushed it off his broad shoulders, his own fingertips skimming over his skin as he did so. Whilst Baekhyun was fit and lean, Chanyeol was muscle and power, veins on his forearms prominent as the shirt was removed. Baekhyun’s breath was once again knocked form his lungs as Chanyeol laid back on him and pressed his lips back to his throat, before moving them lower to his chest.

Baekhyun had never particularly thought his chest to be an erogenous zone, but as Chanyeol’s lips moved over it he found himself squirming restlessly, desperate for something he couldn’t put into words. And when Chanyeol’s mouth closed over his nipple and his tongue flicked over the hardened nub, he knew it was this, whatever _this_ was. He wasn’t ready for how strongly he responded. His cock hardened, strained against the soft fabric of his sweatpants, heart leaping in his chest. As Chanyeol’s tongue licked his right nipple, flicking over the tip expertly, his other hand toyed with the left, rubbing and kneading until Baekhyun wasn’t certain whether he’d come just from _this_ stimulation or not.

His hands gripped Chanyeol’s broad back desperately as a moan escaped his lips, pulling him close, nails scoring over his skin. His nipples felt swollen and tender, pinpricks of pleasure jolting down to his hardened cock with each swipe of Chanyeol’s tongue and fingers. He didn’t even realise he was rubbing his hips into Chanyeol’s until the hand toying with his nipple left it to grab his hips and hold them steady, but it only made Baekhyun whimper at the loss of friction. The hand ran down from his hips to the waistband of his sweatpants and Baekhyun panted when he felt Chanyeol’s fingers dip under the elastic, eyes closed in anticipation.

“No underwear…” Chanyeol observed almost to himself.

His mouth opened in pleasure soundlessly as Chanyeol wrapped fingers around his hardened length and began to stroke. When he _was_ finally able to think and move, he slid his own hand from Chanyeol’s shoulder to unzip his black pants, the action difficult with Chanyeol pressed down on him from above. With a chuckle his friend rolled so they were facing one another on their sides and Baekhyun successfully managed to get the zip down, a smile of triumph on his lips that Chanyeol immediately kissed away.

Their kisses were messy and chaotic, tongues tangling together as Chanyeol seemed to literally _devour_ him, biting and nipping at Baekhyun’s lips so hard he knew they’d be bruised and swollen tomorrow, the hand not rubbing his dick grabbing the back of his neck so he could angle Baekhyun’s head just right to kiss him _harder_ and _deeper_. But Baekhyun loved it, loved the aggression and possessiveness of it, as though Chanyeol _couldn’t_ get enough of him.

But when he felt the hand on the back of his neck slide down his spine and dip under his boxers, he shivered and froze as a finger ran down the valley of his ass cheeks to an area Baekhyun had _never_ been touched before. Chanyeol pulled away from his lips to kiss his face tenderly and Baekhyun instinctively melted into the feeling, only jolting when he felt that finger touch his hole, breath hitching in a mixture of fear and curiosity. And when Chanyeol’s finger pushed _inside,_ he felt like all the oxygen had been sucked from his lungs as his mouth opened and closed, the stretch and burn just the _right_ side of painful.

He clumsily worked his left hands under the waistband of Chanyeol’s boxers and grabbed his hardened dick, Chanyeol’s hiss blowing against his ear as he began to bite at his neck again. _More_ marks. Baekhyun was beginning to fear his neck was going to be covered, but his mind was beyond caring. He stroked Chanyeol hard yet clumsily with his least dominant hand, actions restricted and awkward in the tight suit pants. His right wrist, covered by the restricted support, was grabbing Chanyeol's hair when Chanyeol pulled his finger out and thrust it back in slowly. Baekhyun tugged the hair hard as he shuddered, the sensation sending even more blood rushing between his legs until he was certain he couldn’t take anymore.

Their lips met again and his mind became fuzzy. Hand pumping his cock, Chanyeol’s tongue in his mouth, finger in his ass… He felt an almost sense of fullness, the kind he hadn’t realised he’d _always_ wanted. Baekhyun spread his legs wider to try and ease the tension he felt building in his lower stomach as it all almost became too much. It didn’t help, but then again, he wasn’t quite sure he _wanted_ it to stop. _More_. He didn’t want Chanyeol’s finger in him, he realised in a daze. He wanted his _cock_ to be the one pumping in his ass, wanted Chanyeol sweaty and naked on top of him, filling him _fully_ , giving him _everything_.

Chanyeol suddenly did a rotating pumping action with his hand that almost had Baekhyun seeing stars, a sound escaping his lips so he broke the kiss, forehead falling against Chanyeol’s chest as he panted breathlessly. Close, he was so _close_ already… He thrust his hips in sync with Chanyeol’s hand, body tensing and his toes curling as he felt himself nearing the end, hand frozen around Chanyeol’s own hardness because his brain was incapable of thought to tell it to move. His breathing turned heavier and more laboured, chest pounding with his own heartbeat at the build-up.

Almost, _almost_ , so close…

“Yeol… _Yeol_ …” He panted, back arching. “I’m—”

The hand working his dick suddenly went limp, fingers uncurling and Baekhyun let out a whine of frustration as he felt his orgasm escaping. Pulling his face away from Chanyeol’s chest he looked up in confusion before his eyes widened.

“No fucking way.” He muttered in disbelief.

Chanyeol was passed out cold, a soft snore escaping his parted lips. Baekhyun stared at that sleeping face with mixed emotions before he let out a huff. Pulling his hand out of Chanyeol’s pants, he zipped them up and carefully removed Chanyeol’s hands from him. Sitting up he stared down at his sleeping friend. _Peaceful_. His frustration melted away as he stroked his hand through Chanyeol’s sweaty hair, pushing it back from his face. His friend was clearly more drunk than he’d seemed, but that wasn’t exactly a surprise, since Chanyeol had _never_ been a messy drunk.

But to fall _asleep_ while jerking him off with his finger in his ass? _Unbelievable_. And yet, then again… Maybe it _was_ for the best. They _still_ hadn’t really talked, after all. _Tomorrow_ , Baekhyun thought as he walked to his bedroom.

Tomorrow he wouldn’t let _anything_ distract him.

  
  
**Authors Note:**  
I was blushing like crazy and a little drunk when I wrote this chapter lol! I hope you like it :)  
Comments **,** **votes** & shares are always appreciated! I especially love reading your comments~


	21. Chapter 21

[ **21.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun woke to his phone ringing. Feeling around blindly through his covers, he finally found it under his pillow and pulled it out, bringing it to his ear sleepily.

“Hello?”

“Is this Byun Baekhyun, the owner of CNDY?”

“Sorry, who is this?” He grumbled with a yawn.

“Mr Byun, this is Detective Lee. I was the one assigned the suspected arson and homicide case perpetrated on your rented premises. We spoke before. The Fire Department have released their report, do you have time this morning to come into the station for some further questioning?”

Baekhyun’s eyes opened, now fully alert, and he scrambled to sit up, pulling the phone away from his face to clear his scratchy throat a few times before answering.

“Of course! I’ll be down there immediately!”

After hanging up he glanced at the time and groaned. 10:30am. He had no idea how he’d slept in so long, since he was an habitual early riser. Jumping out of the bed, he shuffled to the bathroom and showered in record speed. Wiping the steam off his mirror as he brushed his teeth, he froze in place as he caught the first look at his neck. Red and purple bruising marked his neck and collarbones, giving him the look of someone who had been severely beaten. Except it was obvious from these _[bruises](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/17/74/da/1774dab59dde5e8b4a4bebaed6e3c934--jason-todd-xavier.jpg)_ that they were caused by a _different_ kind of attack.

Memories of last night hit him with a punch and as he watched, his reflections ears turned a shocking red colour.

Looking away sharply, he changed into a turtleneck jumper to hide the marks, but as he stepped into the living room his eyes immediately focused on the scene of the crime: the sofa. This time he knew without having to look his ears were turning red and he let out a puff of air as he scanned the rest of the living space. _Silence_. He had half expected Chanyeol would bail out early, as it seemed to be the pattern between them now, but with his meeting with the Detective scheduled Baekhyun stubbornly shoved the feelings of awkwardness aside to deal with the matter at hand.

Despite it being just 11:45 when he arrived at the police station, it was still somewhat busy, the room loud with police officers talking and some even shouting at what Baekhyun assumed to be troublemakers. The officers eyed him as he scanned the room, his posture tense under their looks, but when he caught someone waving over to him, he felt a flash of recognition.

“Mr Byun, you made it.” The man said, and Baekhyun knew it to be the officer who had spoken to him that day of the fire. “Come, take a seat. I’m Officer Mark Lee, we met the other week.”

Sitting opposite him at his desk, nothing separated Baekhyun from the people sat at the desks on either side who were talking animatedly with their own officers. The one on his right was complaining about a theft of his car, whilst on the left a man was protesting his innocent over an assault. Baekhyun tried not to show how anxious he was feeling. He didn’t remember this officer exactly, since that day was such a blur of emotion, but he nodded and gave him a small smile in acknowledgement.

“I have here the Fire Departments findings.” Officer Lee said, gesturing to a folder in front of him.

He flipped it open and scanned through, though Baekhyun had a feeling this person had already memorised the whole thing already. His brows were crinkled at whatever he was reading and it only made Baekhyun _more_ anxious, as he wasn’t able to make out _what_ the words said trying to read them upside down. Finally, the Officer looked up with a grim expression.

“It’s been confirmed the fire _was_ an arson attack. Large amount of petrol and other accelerates were found in the staff room, which is the point of origin of the fire.”

Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair as he processed all of this. He had suspected the fire had started in the staff room, since Minae’s account had suggested as much. But _accelerants_? He just couldn’t understand it; _who_ would want to purposely burn down _his_ clothing store? It wasn't like his brand was all that big or well known, it certainly wasn't popular enough to warrant someone targeting it. 

"Have you any idea who did it?" He asked.

"Other than your employee there were no witnesses. None of the surrounding stores saw or heard anything that morning. We believe whoever did this carried out the attack _after_ your employee arrived, which gave them a small window of time." 

“What about the CCTV?” Baekhyun asked with sudden realisation. “There were cameras in the alleyway! It should have captured whoever went to the back entrance.”

“Disconnected – and _intentionally_ too. The wires had been cut and the camera removed entirely. Looks like whoever did this knew it was there, which leads us to believe this was a premeditated and personal attack against _your_ store.”

Baekhyun’s frown deepened at that news. The cameras weren't a secret, but public ones that faced all those along the alleyway to catch any potential thieves. For the arsonist to disconnect them made him think this really _wasn't_ a random incident. 

“Do you have any enemies you can think of, Mr Byun, such as business rivals?”

“No. My business is fairly new.”

" _Personal_ enemies then, perhaps? Disgruntled ex-employees, friends, girlfriends...?"

Again Baekhyun shook his head. Detective Lee made a clicking sound with his tongue as he closed the file with a snap which made Baekhyun startle. Linking his fingers on top of it, he appraised Baekhyun seriously.

“You’re Close to Park Chanyeol of LOEY.” He said bluntly.

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything—”

“Are you aware that in the last _month_ alone two of Mr Park’s clubs have mysteriously blown up? In fact, in the last two years, four – _not_ including those two – of Mr Park’s businesses have had _mysterious_ accidents”

Baekhyun was beginning to feel uncomfortable now for a whole _different_ reason. It wasn't uncommon for police to sniff around Chanyeol, especially those not on his pay roll, but typically Baekhyun was never caught up in it. He really didn't like where this was going. Keeping his expression smooth, he refused to let the Officer read anything in his expression.

“I’m still failing to see what that has to do with _my_ business?”

Officer Lee smiled. “Really? I’d say there’s a rather _direct_ connection, considering your building is rented.”

“Yes, but I rent from—”

“I know _who_ you rent from, Mr Byun.” Officer Lee cut him off smoothly. “However, I’m also aware that the real estate agency is one that is owned by a branch of Park Chanyeol’s LOEY empire.”

Baekhyun stared at him, unable to stop the shock from showing on his face. His real estate agency was the _same_ one which he rented his apartment from, which meant… Chanyeol _also_ owned that. He felt a swell of anger as he recalled how Chanyeol had assured him he’d paid his rent so Baekhyun could keep his apartment while he’d been in China, how Chanyeol had rolled his eyes when Baekhyun had adamantly declared he’d been paying his _own_ rent when his business began to take off. Of course it hadn’t mattered to Chanyeol either way – he’d been his Landlord all along. And Baekhyun’s store… He recalled how difficult it had been for him to find somewhere within his price range, how he’d been _so_ close to giving up when the agency had called about a store of theirs that had recently become available. So _convenient_.

 _All_ of it had been staged by Chanyeol. Everything he owned, once again, belonged to Chanyeol. He’d _never_ been independent.

“I don’t believe in coincidences.” Detective Lee said. “I know all _three_ arson attacks are connected to Mr Park, even if there’s no direct evidence. But I _will_ find that link and before I do, Mr Byun, I highly suggest you think about whether your friendship is worth being connected with a crime of this magnitude. As you know we're not just talking about arson. One person died in your stores fire, whilst multiple more were killed in Mr Park's businesses. _Murder_ charges are on the line here."

"There is no connection. He's my Landlord, nothing more." Baekhyun said as calmly as he could.

Detective Lee sighed and leaned back in his chair. "For _now_ I'll take your word for it, Mr Byun. If you remember anything you'd like to tell me what could help with this investigation, however, you know where to find me and you have my number now."

With those words echoing around his skull Baekhyun left the police station with purpose. He too didn’t believe in coincidences, especially not ones _this_ obvious. There might not have been any evidence for the police to link these attacks directly to Chanyeol, but Baekhyun knew _a lot_ more than they did. He knew that Chanyeol’s two clubs were blown up by his rival, one who was still causing him a lot of problems. The fact that Baekhyun’s store had been torched – a store which he now knew that Chanyeol _technically_ owned… It all made sense to him. It wasn’t _Baekhyun_ the attack was aimed at, but _Chanyeol_.

And what Baekhyun wanted to know was _why_ Chanyeol had never told him about this connection.

He'd had seen first hand how upset Baekhyun had been after arson, how guilty he'd felt about that persons death, how afraid he'd been over the manslaughter charges hanging over him. And yet his friend had never _once_ offered up the truth of the fact, or even hinted that _none_ of it was Baekhyun's fault. It was _that_ which upset Baekhyun the most, that Chanyeol had kept this from him, allowed Baekhyun to live with the uncertainty of what was going to happen. Pulling out his phone as he attempted to flag down a taxi, he quickly fired off a text to said lying Bastard.

 **BAEKKIE** : Where r u?

His reply was instant.

 **LOEY** : Work.

 **BAEKKIE** : I’ll meet u, send me your location

 **LOEY** : No. I'll see you tonight.

 **LOEY** : Stay in the apartment.

Baekhyun scoffed as he deleted his "FUCK YOU" reply and decided not to say anything at all. He knew the only reason Chanyeol hadn't _yet_ gone mad about him leaving was because his _previous_ tracker had been attached to his old phone. Clearly he hadn't had time to put one on his new phone. Since Chanyeol didn't want to tell him where he was, he instead called Minseok. Because wherever _he_ was Chanyeol was sure to be.

“I need a ride somewhere.” Baekhyun said the moment the call was answered.

“Sorry Mr Byun, I’m currently at The Alley with Mr Park. I’ll let him know that—”

“No need.” Baekhyun said before he hung up.

The Alley was a bowling alley which Chanyeol owned that, underneath it, had a fighting ring. It was where illegal underground fighting took place, all organised by LOEY of course. The place was extremely popular with Seoul’s upper class; stressed-out businessmen and other socialites who despite their high-class lifestyles all seemed to have a love of watching people beat the living shit out of each other.

They paid an extortionate membership fee _just_ to watch the bloodshed and drink at the bar, as though it was ordinary as attending one of their functions. But many also sponsored their _own_ fighters, funding them to participate in knife fighting, martial arts, bare-knuckle and other creative violent experiences like one would rear show dogs. Each sponsor paid a fee to enter their fighter, with the winner of each fight taking the overall winnings. Baekhyun also knew a lot of money could also be made betting on the _right_ fighter to win, but more commonly money was lost — along with _lives_.

Fights to the death weren’t entirely uncommon, after all.

Finally managing to hail a taxi, Baekhyun directed the drive to The Alley, which at this time of midday was busy. Of course, _this_ was also part of the coverup. The sounds made from those bowling above covered up the sounds that couldn’t be masked by Chanyeol’s soundproofing. It was why all fights actually took place during the _day_. Walking in, Baekhyun passed the families laughing, parties cheering and couples on their first dates to the counter where the shelves of shoes were. The man standing behind it recognised him immediately and gave him a friendly smile. All the staff that worked here knew about this operation and were loyal men to Chanyeol. Dressed in a standard uniform, the man _appeared_ harmless, but looks were of course deceiving. 

“Not seen you here in a while!” He said as he lifted up the latch, allowing Baekhyun to step behind with him.

“I’ve been busy.” Baekhyun answered somewhat impatiently.

“Mr Park’s already downstairs.” The man said and Baekhyun walked through the door of the staff room.

Inside was actually an ordinary looking staff room, but sitting by the locked cupboard marked “STORE ROOM” was the security guard, who also was wearing the alley's nondescript uniform. He punched in the code to the door and held it open for Baekhyun wordlessly. Inside was a steep set of stairs leading down and as Baekhyun descended the door behind him closed with a click. It was dark, no decorations on the walls apart from cut out circular grooves, certainly nothing to indicate this was anything _but_ a basement staircase except for the red lighting. He immediately felt the claustrophobic feeling he had always gotten going down this staircase and hurried his pace.

At the bottom was two more security guards and again they let him inside the set of reflective steel doors at the bottom of the staircase, where Baekyun was immediately hit with sound. The inside of the underground ring was lively and very, very _red_. Red lighting, red furniture coverings, red counters... Everything was the same cherry colour, giving it the sense of _taboo_. Music was playing from the DJ booth at the opposite side of the room, a few people standing in front of it even dancing as though they truly were in a club. 

He was currently on the upper level, with a long bar to his left. The occupants of the room were all dressed casually in street clothes, but even dressed as such it was _obvious_ they came from wealth. Their clothes were designer brands, their watches exclusives, perfumes expensive. The upper level was also the most busiest, packed with those who paid their basic membership fees. They stood in clusters holding their drinks, chattering and laughing as they all waited for the fight to begin.

Baekhyun fought his way through the crowd to the railing and looked down at the lower level, of which was mostly dominated by a huge Octagon cage that was in the center on a raised platform, the top of the cage open so that those standing on the upper railing like he was could watch the fighting. The V.I.P members were on the lower ground, sat at the comfy booths their extortionate memberships paid for that surrounded the ring. Baekhyun walked to the staircase that would lead down to that level, nodding at the men guarding the rope that blocked it from the ordinary members. He was allowed down without hassle, since the majority of Chanyeol’s men recognised him by face.

The lower level was less lively but still filled to capacity, the booths all occupied and quite a few people gathered around the bar. Baekhyun walked around the ring, his destination the door at the far end guarded by Chanyeol’s men and which would lead to a corridor filled with small rooms the fighters were warming up in… and also which would lead to Chanyeol’s office. He knew _that’s_ where his lying friend would be. But as he was walking past the bar his eyes locked on a familiar face and he paused in his stride.

“Baekhyun?” The person exclaimed as they, too, recognised him.

“ _Sehun_?”

Sehun gestured to the barman for another beer, which he handed to Baekhyun, who took it with confusion.

“Who did you come with?” Baekhyun asked over the music, looking around for anyone else he might recognise.

“I came alone.”

“Why _here_?””

As far as Baekhyun was aware, Sehun didn’t even _know_ about this club, let alone have a _V.I.P_ membership. Any membership at all here wasn’t exactly given out freely to just _anyone_ with money. The guests here were all those who typically were involved with illegal dealings _themselves_ in some capacity, and Sehun? He was as _far_ from the ordinary clientele here as could be. 

“ _I’m_ here to pick up hot rich guys.” Baekhyun wasn’t prepared for _that_ answer and it apparently amused Sehun, who laughed. Taking a drink of his beer he gestured around them. “Why are _you_ here?”

“I’m here to pick up hot men too.” Baekhyun answered with a forced smile.

Sehun tapped his bottle against Baekhyun’s with a wink. “What a coincidence.”

Baekhyun… He _really_ didn’t believe in coincidences. But for the sake of appearances, he talked with Sehun, since it wasn’t like Chanyeol could leave without passing by him anyway. He would be lying if he said it wasn’t awkward, though, since they _had_ once dated after all, but Sehun seemed his usual chatty self which made him relax. In fact, speaking with Sehun now he was reminded once again to what had initially drawn him to him. Sehun was easy going and friendly, a naturally charismatic guy who clearly knew he was good-looking but wasn't conceited. And despite Baekhyun breaking up with him as suddenly as he had, he didn't appear to hold a grudge, either. The truth was, they hadn't worked out romantically and _never_ would be able to, not with Baekhyun's inability to forget Chanyeol, but he knew now that didn't mean they couldn't be _friends_.

Sehun was expressing his remorse over the loss of Baekhyun’s store when several loud ‘pops’ sounded over the music of the club, immediately followed by screams. As Baekhyun watched the guards sprang to action, rushing towards the entrance of the club to where he could only assume the source of the pops came from. _Gunshots_. The members in the room also began to surge that way, since it was the only exit and Baekhyun was shoved and pushed in all directions, his beer lost as it slipped form his hand.

“This way!” He urged Sehun, grabbing his wrist and tugging him in the direction of the doors to Chanyeol’s office.

There wasn’t an exit that way, but Baekhyun knew the office was the most secure place right now. It was also where Chanyeol was. He was fighting against the crowd who were going in the opposite way, his hands pushing and forcing people aside the best he could, the doors in sight, when there was a blinding pain to the back of his head. His body swayed for a moment before it crumpled to the ground, where he vaguely felt himself being trampled.

Then the last thing he heard was Sehun shouting his name in alarm before everything went black.

**Authors Note:**  
Below is vaguely how I picture the club, since I don't think my sucky descriptions do it justice lol.  
Chanyeol's Underground Club:  
[](https://www.smartshanghai.com/uploads/covers/2020/09/159975958975253.jpeg)[](https://www.smartshanghai.com/uploads/articles/2020/09/8351599815130.jpg)


	22. Chapter 22

[ **22.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun could hear voices when he came around. They were muffled and distorted, as though he was listening from underwater so he couldn’t make out the words. But they were male, that much was certain from the deepness of the tone, and there was _more_ than one speaker. His head hurt the more he concentrated, a sharp spike of pain that robbed his breath and forced a moan from between his lips. He could feel he was sat on something hard and uncomfortable, wrists and ankles tightly gripped in place that he could only wiggle his fingers and toes which brought a new realisation: He _wasn’t_ wearing shoes. The cold nipped at his bare feet.

The sounds and vibrations were telling him that whoever was speaking was close by. Despite the throbbing pain in his head, he fought through the grogginess to open his eyes and blinked several times to clear the blur from his vision. He heard heavy footsteps walking away from him and he looked around to find the source. _Warehouse_ , the scenery screamed, and Baekhyun had been in enough to know courtesy of Chanyeol. Large crates and boxes were stacked around the huge structure, the concrete floors dirty and dusty, thick wooden beams supporting the tall ceiling. No windows. The only lights were those hanging overhead dimly, the sparkles of the dust in the air thick.

He was shackled to a wooden chair in the center of the floor space and a quick glance told him he _wasn’t_ alone after all. Heart slamming into his chest, Baekhyun gasped out a name:

“ _Sehun_.”

The person in question opened their eyes and blinked at him tiredly. Sehun was also shackled to a chair, his flawless white skin dirtied and there was a superficial cut on his cheek that had already scabbed over. He too had no shoes on, either. Baekhyun looked around again, but they seemed to be alone in this huge space despite the earlier voice he'd heard.

“Where are we?” He asked.

“Not sure. I woke up briefly when they were carrying us in here and they began trying to question me, but they knocked me out again when I couldn’t answer.”

“Did you recognise them?”

Sehun shook his head. “I didn’t recognise the ones questioning me or those who stormed The Alley. When you were hit, I tried to fight them off, but they overpowered me.” His tone was laced with bitterness and he scowled at the warehouse around them.

Baekhyun processed that with an outward calm he certainly wasn’t feeling. Being Chanyeol’s friend he was occasionally faced with scary situations — like the shooting at the restaurant, for instance. But never had he been _kidnapped_. Some had _tried_ over the years, but being by Chanyeol’s side they’d never gotten the opportunity. That also brought a new revelation: whoever has stormed the club had _known_ who Baekhyun was. Did that also mean they’d known he was going to be there? He wasn’t sure _how_ , since he’d gone to see Chanyeok at the spur of the moment...

“What did they question you about?”

“They asked me about Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun startled at his friend’s name and looked at Sehun sharply. “Like _what_?”

“What my connection with him is, what I know about him…”

Swallowing thickly, Baekhyun felt his heart rate pick up slightly. “Yeah? And what _did_ you tell them?”

“I told them I don’t know him that well, but they didn’t believe me. I _couldn’t_ answer the things they wanted to know about him.” Suddenly Sehun leaned towards him as much as he was able to in the chair. “They warned me if we don’t have answers for them then we’re _useless_.”

 _Of course they did_ , Baekhyun thought. It was clearly a scare tactic, because he knew they wouldn’t have taken them like this if they didn’t suspect they knew _something_. He understood whey they’d taken him at least – it was hardly a secret he was Chanyeol’s closest friend. But why take _Sehun_? Baekhyun eyed him again, this time more warily.

“Why were you at The Alley, Sehun?” He asked.

“I told you, I was there to pick up rich guys.”

This time Baekhyun really didn’t believe that answer. How was it Sehun just _happened_ to show up in the V.I.P area of one of Chanyeol’s most exclusive clubs the day it was raided? They one day Baekhyun had visited alone, too. The way Sehun was always so interested in Chanyeol, asking about him, attending events Chanyeol might be at, name-dropping him in interviews and trying to get Baekhyun to invite him places… Things were beginning to piece together to form an ugly picture. Baekhyun really didn’t believe in coincidences, but he _did_ believe in conspiracy.

And right now he was getting the impression he was embroiled in one quite directly.

He began to laugh, because really it was all so _typical_. Of course his _only_ ex partner had only wanted him to get close to Chanyeol. It was beginning to make sense now. How could he not have seen it? _Everything_ in Baekhyun’s life revolved around Chanyeol; his home, his business, his relationships – his _heart_. How could he have doubted that the _one_ thing that _should_ have been his and his alone was also linked to Chanyeol? Because evidently, there _was_ no Byun Baekhyun without Park Chanyeol.

He truly didn’t have _anything_.

“We should prepare for the worst.” He said once he’d stopped his bitter laughter.

Sehun was eying him like he’d gone crazy. Perhaps he had.

“ _What_?”

“I’m not telling them anything, no matter what they do to us.” Baekhyun told him cheerfully.

“Do you _want_ to die?”

“You can give up the fake theatrics, Sehun. I’ve already seen through your attempt at guilting me into talking and it _won’t_ work.”

“Jesus, they must have hit you harder than I thought…”

“My head _is_ killing me.” Baekhyun admitted.

“Listen to me Baek, I’m not trying to trick you, they really _did_ threaten to kill us.”

“I’m sure they did.”

“Why the Hell are you being like this? Don’t you understand how dangerous this situation is?”

“For _me_ I do.” Baekhyun’s smile slipped from his lips as he fixed Sehun with a glare. “But _you’ll_ be fine, won’t you?”

Sehun was staring at him incredulously. “Wait a second… You don’t actually think I’m with _them_ , do you?”

“I don’t think so. I _know_ so.”

“I’m not—”

"Save it.” Baekhyun snapped, closing his eyes with a sigh.

His head was pounding and the more they talked the worse it got. He knew his raging emotions were currently making his head hurt _more_ , because he couldn’t stop rehashing everything that had happened between him and Sehun, knowing now how it had been a lie. He might have been the one to break things off but it still hurt, regardless, to know that even _he_ had been trying to get to Chanyeol. That he hadn’t liked Baekhyun at all.

“I can see you’re not prepared to listen to anything I have to say. But at least consider this, Baek; if I wanted to capture you like _this_ , I had plenty of opportunities when we were alone. I wouldn’t have to go to _these_ lengths.”

After that Sehun fell silent, allowing Baekhyun to close his eyes. The pounding in his head lessened when he had his eyes shut and he stopped thinking about everything painful, instead letting himself remember things that were actually pleasant. Days spent helping on his parents’ farm. The fun he’d had with Taeyeon in China. Going on a dancing date with Sehu—He quickly skipped past _that_ thought.

But he began to realise all his _other_ good memories were tied to Chanyeol.

He was desperately searching for a memory that didn’t involve _Him_ when he heard the creak on the wooden floor and his eyes opened instinctively, searching for the source of the noise. Two tall, well-built middle-aged men were approaching them and as Baekhyun swept his eyes between them he decided to name them Thug 1 and Thug 2 for obvious reasons.

“Not looking so _hot_ now, are you?” Thug 1 taunted Sehun, giving his cheek a few light slaps.

And before Sehun could even respond the Thug lashed out, fist slamming into Sehun’s face with a fleshy thud that made Baekhyun wince. The force snapped Sehun’s head and body to the side and the chair he was sat on toppled over with a crash, his bust nose bleeding profusely down his cheek as he groaned. Thug 2 laughed and kicked his exposed stomach twice.

“ _Pig_.” Thug 1 sneered, and with a disgusting snort spat on Sehun’s prone figure.

Thug 2 laughed and stomped down on his arm, a sick crack sounding before Sehun’s pained scream followed. Baekhyun felt bile raise in his throat at what was poking up under the fabric of his jacket, tenting it. It didn’t take a Doctor to know they’d broke his arm. Seeing Baekhyun’s clear horror, Thug 1 turned his attention to him.

“Why do you look so shocked? Pigs like _him_ deserve this and _more_.”

“I think he didn’t know.” Thug 2 mused, circling Baekhyun. “All this time LOEY’s best friend has been fucking a cop and he had _no_ idea. Fucking _hilarious_!”

“Nah, he probably knew, but gay boys like _him_ don’t care _where_ they stick their dick.”

“Fucking. Queer. Pig!” Thug 2 taunted, kicking Sehun after each word.

Baekhyun could only watch on as they began to savagely beat him further, raining down kicks and punches to his bound body while calling him vile, homophobic names. When they _finally_ stopped it was clear Sehun was unconscious, face smeared red, breathing wet and laboured. 

“Whoops. Think we went a bit too far?” Thug 1 asked as he knelt to inspect the damage to Sehun’s face, once again giving it a few slaps.

“Nah. It’s only what faggots like _him_ deserve.”

Flexing their bruised hands, the two of them then turned their full attention to Baekhyun, who couldn’t stop the shudder than ran through him.

“Don’t worry _Princess_ , we haven’t forgotten you.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes as the first hit connected with his face and he felt his lip tear. He barely had time to really suffer through it when another hit landed, this time to the side of his jaw. Another landed to the back of his head, a fourth to his temple. But it was the solid kick to his abdomen that was the real Bastard, robbing his lungs of air. He felt himself falling as his chair too toppled over, his left side slamming into the wooden ground jarring him. Sucking in air greedily, his eyes opened as he felt fingers thread into his hair and tug, pinpricks of pain scalding his scalp and pulling his neck as they used his _hair_ to hurl him upright again.

“Enough.” A voice sounded.

Baekhyun watched through half lidded eyes as a woman walked towards them, her heels clicking on the wooden flooring. She was young and beautiful, he thought, and didn’t look like she belonged here. Small face, wide innocent looking eyes, lips painted red and hair swept back into an elegant bun, ruffled silk shirt under a tailed black suit jacket and pencil skirt… Such a woman would have looked more in place in a board room rather than some dingy warehouse. The mystery woman was also small and dainty, clearly outsized by Thug 1 and 2 yet it was clear from their 90 degree bows _she_ was the one in charge.

Baekhyun spat out a mouthful of blood. “Do I know you?”

She smiled prettily. “No. But I know all about _you_ , Mr Byun.”

She glanced to her side where Sehun still was slumped unconscious and she made a tutting sound as her eyes flicked to her men.

“I _said_ I wanted them conscious.” She scolded half-heartedly.

Both bowed again hastily. “That one was weak.”

“We didn’t hit him _too_ hard…”

She sighed. “It’s unfortunate but I’m sure you understand, Mr Byun. After all, people in _our_ world don’t exactly see eye to eye with the police, especially those working undercover like _this_ one…”

Baekhyun swallowed down that knowledge, unable to focus on it now. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction of catching him off guard. 

“Don’t place me among you. I’m _nothing_ like you.” He sneered.

She made another disapproving tutting sound. “ ***** A dog with feces scolds a dog with husks of grain…”

Baekhyun coughed out a laugh. “I’m a _fashion_ designer—”

“Who keeps the company of _Mafia_. I _know_ who you are.”

“Lucky me.”

“Don’t play cute. I’m sure you understand what situation you’re in.”

Baekhyun smiled widely. “I’m not _playing_ cute, I’m like this naturally.”

Thug 1 was on him before he’d even retracted his smile, punching him solidly in the stomach. Wheezing as he struggled to catch his breath, Baekhyun gave him a glare.

“I didn’t think you’d go to such extremes to protect him.” The woman mused

“What’s there to protect?”

She leaned closer, the sweet smell of her floral perfume filling his nostrils and making them itch.

“I know you’re smart, so I’m sure you understand what situation you’re in. I’m guessing the attitude is because you _think_ LOEY is going to come and save you so you’re stalling for time. But I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She leaned in closer still so her red lips barely scraped his ear. “He doesn’t care about you, nor is he going to come and save you. In fact—”

Baekhyun had heard enough. He jerked his head to the side as hard as he could, his temple striking her chin. The woman reeled back in shock but before Baekhyun could appreciate the moment, the Thugs were on him. Punches rained down on his subdued body and all he could do was sit and take it.

“Enough.” The woman snapped.

Thug 1 and 2 backed away from him and Baekhyun felt his head roll as he tried to fight through the dizziness. They hadn’t touched his face again, but his torso was in agony, chest aching and his breathing ragged. He knew he was on the verge of passing out due to the pain, but he fought it with everything he had not to succumb, desperate not to let them break him. The woman stroked her chin, seeming amused that he'd managed to hit her which of course was the complete _opposite_ reaction Baekhyun had been going for.

“We can do this for however long you want, Mr Byun, but eventually you _will_ tell me what I want to know. If you cooperate—”

“You’ll let me live?” He gasped out a hoarse laugh. “Don’t patronise me.”

“Then I won’t. You’re right, either way you _won’t_ be leaving this warehouse alive, but how _long_ you have to suffer is up to you. Ask yourself; is your loyalty to a man who doesn’t care about you really worth prolonging your agony?”

“I thought you said you knew all about me. Obviously not, otherwise you’d know Chanyeol _does_ care.”

“Really?” She smirked.

Baekhyun watched her pull out her phone and press the screen a few times before showing him it. It took a moment for his vision to focus before he registered what she was showing him. Immediately his heart sank.

“That was taken an hour ago. Tell me, Mr Byun; if LOEY cares about you _half_ as much as you _think_ he does, then why is he at his club and not trying to rescue you?”

Baekhyun stared at the picture, unable to drag his eyes off the image of Chanyeol sat in the two Brothers club with a topless woman on his lap while he drank at a card table. The corners of his lips were even tilted as he observed his cards, his other hand resting on the woman’s hip. Baekhyun didn’t _want_ to believe what he was seeing, but the evidence was clear as day and doubt was beginning to creep in no matter how much he tried to push it away.

With a satisfied smile the woman locked the phone screen, the image vanishing.

“I’ll be back again soon. Have a think about what you’ll do, because after all; it isn’t just _your_ suffering we'll be inflicting.”

She gave Sehun’s prone body a meaningful look before walking away, heels clicking loudly. Baekhyun stared blankly at her retreating figure, Thug 1 and 2 following. He vaguely was aware of a door opening and closing before everything fell to silence apart from his and Sehun’s laboured breathing. He knew he shouldn’t let her get to him, that at this moment he couldn’t afford to doubt because he knew form experience of witnessing Chanyeol’s kidnappings that torture wasn’t _always_ physical.

What that woman was doing now was a form of _psychological_ torture, trying to break down his determination by filling him with self-doubt against the person he was protecting. That way, it would be easier for them to _physically_ torture the information they wanted out of him, if his resolve was weak. Baekhyun _knew_ this, but that didn’t stop him from falling victim to the attack. How could he not when his relationship with Chanyeol as of late had been nothing but _filled_ with uncertainty? They hadn’t talked properly, hadn’t established what the Hell was going on between them.

And now he was beginning to question whether they ever would.

**Authors Note:**  
Waaaa did everyone manage to watch Baekhyun's Kyoongcon? It was amazing!! ✰__✰


	23. Chapter 23

[ **23.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Despite his insistence to stay alert and wait for Sehun to come around, Baekhyun eventually succumbed and fell asleep reluctantly, only to wake when he was harshly slapped across the face. His scabbed lip split back open and he felt the blood dribble down his chin, the cold air of the warehouse adding an extra sting to the wound.

“Wakey wakey _Princess_.” Thug 1 taunted as he continue to slap his cheek.

Thug 2 laughed. “I looks could kill you’d be dead!”

“You trying to glare at me to death?” Thug 1 asked, giving his face a few more rough slaps.

Baekhyun’s right cheek was smarting from the hits, his eyes indeed glaring at his tormentor. He inwardly vowed that no matter _what_ happened, some way or _somehow_ he’d get his revenge for this. Thug 1 just laughed, as though he could read his intentions and found it amusing.

“Looks like your _husband_ is still asleep.” Thug 2 remarked as he crouched to observe Sehun’s prone form.

“Nah, I think the _Pig_ is the wife in their disgusting coupling.”

“Dirty faggots!” The insult was delivered along with a harsh kick to Sehun’s stomach.

He grunted as the air was knocked from his lungs but otherwise didn’t wake up. Baekhyun stared hard at his still body, the dried blood coating his swollen face and heard the slight whistle to his harsh breathing. He knew Sehun was in a bad shape even without taking into account his broken arm. He needed a Doctor — and _soon_.

“Come. We have something _special_ for you, Princess.” Thug 2 said as he began to release the shackles on Baekhyun’s ankles.

He _wanted_ to kick him, but his thighs were stiff, his muscles numbed from the coldness of the room and the beating he’d endured. No matter how much Baekhyun longed to struggle and fight back as he was released and pulled upright, he just _couldn’t_ summon the energy. Thug 1 and Thug 2 took an arm each and all but dragged him out of the room, his bare feet scraping along the wooden ground. He was taken into a side room which he assumed was some kind of office space, a simple empty wooden table with a chair on either side of it the only furnishings. His nose crinkled at the musty smell, the dust so thick that their steps stirred the air and made him cough. Blood and spittle sprayed on the concrete. 

“Here we go.” He was shoved onto the chair so hard it rocked back with his weight.

Baekhyun just managed to stabilise himself to prevent falling. Using the filthy sleeve of his shirt, he wiped at the blood running down his chin, eyes locked on Thug 1 as he did so. The latter only smirked as he and Thug 2 placed themselves at the other side of the table, their backs to the only door as they regarded him with crossed arms. The silence stretched between them and it was becoming clear they were waiting on _someone_. Without having to ask Baekhyun knew it had to be that woman and he used to time to rack his brain over _who_ she could be.

Chanyeol had a _lot_ of enemies, mostly from the Mafia world. Those Baekhyun knew of, however, were all male. There were female business rivals, but Baekhyun didn’t know of any with Mafia ties, or anyone with a deep enough grudge to have men like Thug 1 and 2 kidnap him. Which made him wonder if it was _personal_. Ex-lover, perhaps? Chanyeol certainly had enough of them, from failed casual relationships to one night stands. Rose had been the longest — and the most _serious_. He briefly considered whether _she_ could be behind this. Certainly she had the motive, having been dumped by Chanyeol so callously and her apparent hatred of Baekhyun would make it certain she'd want to target him. Rose had the means, too, considering her Father was a rich tycoon with known Mafia ties. But then again... Rose wouldn't need _him_ to answer questions about Chanyeol; she certainly knew enough of his secrets already. 

He was running through a list of Chanyeol’s known exes when the door to the room opened and the woman from before walked in, dressed in another business suit, this one in grey. She gave him a smile as she took the seat opposite him at the desk, Thug 1 and 2 at her sides like meaty guards, as though they were simply sitting down to a regular business meeting. 

“Are you ready to talk?” She asked.

“We _can_ talk about the weather, League of Legends, or your views on using real fur." Baekhyun told her just as calmly. "Anything _else_ , however, I might not answer.”

Her smile dropped. “You should take this more seriously, Mr Byun.”

“It’s difficult to take you _seriously_ when you have your Thugs kidnap me and kidnap my _acquaintance_ just so you can find out what you want to know.”

“How so?”

This time he smiled. “It comes across as _desperate_.”

She regarded him coolly and he watched as she drummed her darkly painted nails on the desk, the rhythmic _tap tap tap_ the only sound in the room.

“Time isn’t on my side.” She said at last. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “I’m hoping you’ll perhaps respond more favourably to _reason_ , so I’ll be straight with you, Mr Byun. I’m looking for someone, a person who was last seen employed in LOEY’s club.” She rested her hands on the table and leaned towards him slightly. “So what I want to know from you is _where_ does LOEY send the women who are no longer useful to him?”

Baekhyun felt his eyebrow lower. “You kidnapped me to ask _this_?” She nodded. “Who is it you’re looking for?”

“ _I’m_ the one asking the questions.” When he kept his lips shut her expression hardened. “I know about his brothels. I _know_ the things he makes women do, now tell me where he sends the ones he no longer wants.”

When he still didn’t answer she pulled out of her handbag a stack of pictures and tossed them across the table. Baekhyun glanced down at them, noting they were the interior of the two Brothers Club, showing women dancing on tables, bars, poles and serving drinks in various stages of indecent undress. It was clear from the quality and angles of the picture they’d been taken secretly, the images grainy but never the less showing that it was indeed what she was hinting at. Some _explicit_ pictures even showed the women in the rooms servicing their clients. Baekhyun looked away.

“ _Look_ at them.” She urged, running her hand through them to show more that were hidden under others. “These women, _what_ happens to them?”

Even if Baekhyun _wanted_ to answer — which he _didn’t_ — the truth was he really didn’t know. He was aware that these women were employed to service clients at the club, that on occasion he’d go with Chanyeol and there would be new faces he didn’t recognise, but Baekhyun had always turned a blind eye to the ins and outs of Chanyeol’s businesses. _Who_ these women were, _how_ they came to work there… He just didn’t know.

“ _Tell_ me!” She snapped after his prolonged silence. Searching through the pictures she shoved a specific one at him. “Look at her face. Where is _this_ woman?”

The woman in question was sat on a mans lap, the picture capturing her mid-laughter as the man nuzzled her neck and fondled her exposed breasts. He could see she had some resemblance to the woman opposite him, which only confirmed his theory that this kidnapping was _personal_.

“Is that your sister?”

“She’s a _Victim_ of your criminal friend, just like _all_ these women are.”

“I don’t recognise her.”

“That’s _not_ what I’m asking you. I want to know what happens to these women when they’re no longer useful to LOEY.”

Thug 1 reached over the table and grabbed his jaw, all but yanking Baekhyun forward until he was forced to brace himself against the table. His face was kept just inches away from the images, Thug 1’s fingers digging into his face painfully. His already injured lip split back open under the rough grip and Baekhyun watched as his blood dripped down his chin and onto the pictures.

“ _Look_ at them. These are _people_ , Mr Byun. They are not stock, merchandise or assets LOEY owns. They are daughters, sisters, wives, mothers. They are _Human beings_ who your friend forces into slavery.”

Baekhyun had little option _but_ to look, but there was nothing he could say to her, no answers he could give about any of what she wanted to know. 

“By keeping silent you’re just as bad as _he_ is. I tried to do this civilly, but one way or another I _will_ get an answer.”

Baekhyun knew for certain _he_ wouldn’t be the one to give her it. Thug 1 released his face and Baekhyun leaned back to wipe at his bloody chin as the woman regarded him with disgust. She made a gesture and immediately Thug 1 and 2 advanced around the table and grabbed him, hurling up from his chair to the centre of the room. Pulling his hands up above his head they attached them to shackles he hadn't seen before, dangling from a thick chain. One secured them while the other used some kind of wheel to pull the chain up, forcing Baekhyun’s feet off the ground as he literally _hung_ from the shackles, the toes of his feet just centimetres from the ground, forearms burning from the pull and his already injured wrist screaming in protest.

He grunted as Thug 2 punched him in his stomach, using his body once again like a fleshy punching bag. As his body swung back he was punched again, another hit to his bruised stomach and the air was knocked from his lungs. Another hit to his ribs, another to his thigh and the killer shot — a solid punch to his balls. Baekhyun cried out then, his body twisting up and his legs crossing as he literally gagged at the pain. Thug 2 whistled lowly.

“Fuck, even _I_ felt that.” He remarked.

Baekhyun swung, the chains rattling as he writhed in agony.

“Ready to talk?” The woman asked. Baekhyun looked up through his sweaty hair to give her a glare. “ _No_? Then I’ll ask again later.”

He watched her gather back up her pictures, mindless of his blood smeared across them, and return them to her handbag, giving him another look before she left the room. The moment the door closed Thug 1 chuckled as he took out his phone and pointed it at Baekhyun.

“What are you doing?” Thug 2 asked.

“If we get a recording of him and send it to LOEY, what do you think he’d be willing to pay us to get his _Princess_ back?”

“But JiEun said—” his mouth clamped shut as Thug 1 slapped him.

“Fuck! Keep your mouth shut you idiot!”

Baekhyun closed his eyes, committing that name to memory. _JiEun_. _JiEun_. _JiEun_. They opened when he was punched in the stomach again and he coughed as bile burned his throat. Thug 1 grinned as he held the phone close to his face at varying angles.

“ _Beg_ for him.” He urged, circling Baekhyun. “Tell _LOEY_ how much you want to be rescued.”

“Fuck you.” Baekhyun wheezed.

Thug 2 punched him again and Baekhyun groaned as his body swayed, his forearms all but numb now from his own weight.

Thug 1 laughed. “When LOEY sees him like this he’ll pay us _more_ than she offered.”

They spent the next few minutes beating him, cursing him and taunting him, all for their sick recording. Baekhyun remained silent, eyes closed as he endured it the best he could, trying his best not to show the extent of how much pain he was in. He didn’t want Chanyeol to see him like _this_ and he hoped the video would never reach him. But despite his best efforts to stay alert, a particularly savage kick to his ribs had him seeing stars, before suddenly everything went black.

When he next opened his eyes he was strapped back to the chair. Wincing at the pain each breath caused his beaten torso, Baekhyun looked over to Sehun and found him awake.

“Sehun!" He gasped. The other looked over at him blankly. "Are you ok?"

"No. I'm _not_ okay." Sehun muttered.

Baekhyun winced at his own insensitive question. “How long was I…?”

“Not sure. I’ve only been conscious for thirty minutes-ish.”

Baekhyun frowned worriedly. Sehun’s words were breathy, his skin plaid and damp with sweat. But more worryingly was his broken arm, the fabric over it completely saturated with blood, so much so that it was pooling under him.

“Sehun, I…” He swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry I accused you.”

The other let out a wet laugh. “No, you were right, to an extent. I _was_ lying about who I was.”

“An undercover cop.”

The words hung heavy in the room. Sehun closed his eyes.

“Just after I’d graduated from the police Academy I was contracted to go undercover as a model. They needed someone _unknown_ who could investigate the drug distribution amongst Korean models. I’ve being doing that for almost four years.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Sehun opened his eyes and gave him a tired smile. “Because I don’t think I’m going to make it out of here alive.”

“We _will_.” Baekhyun told him firmly.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Either way I’m not going to be a cop after this… _How_ can I?”

Baekhyun really had no answer for that, because with Sehun’s undercover status now known there was no way he could continue as an undercover cop. But did that mean he had to give up the police service _altogether_? Being on what some could argue was the _wrong_ side of the law, Baekhyun didn’t have much involvement with the police to know what Sehun’s future would entail. All he knew was right _now_ they needed to remain strong if they were going to make it through this.

“I’m sorry to you, Baek. I _never_ intentionally set out to hurt you, never even wanted to _trick_ you.” Sehun said suddenly.

“You don’t need to apologise, Sehun.”

“Yes. I do. I _know_ what I did was cruel.” He looked up and in his gaze Baekhyun could see he was being sincere. “I’m sorry.”

“Was it… I mean, did you ever…?”

“I’m not _that_ good of an actor.” He said with a hint of amusement. “But I won’t lie and pretend it was _all_ based on emotion. I had a _job_ to do—”

“I understand.” Baekhyun interrupted.

He really didn’t _want_ to know what was real and what wasn’t, he realised. After all, wasn’t _he_ just as bad for using Sehun as he had to try get over Chanyeol? As far as he was concerned they were even in that respect. Sehun seemed to understand he didn’t want the details about it and nodded.

“When you entered the fashion scene my superiors told me to get close to you by _any_ means, as they suspected _Chanyeol_ was the one supplying drugs to the industry.” Sehun admitted.

“He’s _not_ —”

“Your unwavering loyalty to him has _always_ pissed me off. Even when he’d parade his fiancé in front of you, interrupt our dates and controlled _every_ aspect of your life you always seemed to forgive him. He can do no wrong in your eyes, Baek, and it makes you _n_ _aïve_.”

“That’s not true.” Baekhyun muttered.

“Isn’t it? Isn’t the reason we are here now because of _him_? Because of _what_ he is? Yet you _still_ remain loyal to him, accepting our deaths in place of betraying him. He’s a _criminal_ , Baekhyun, and every aspect of his LOEY empire is built on corruption. He is _evil_.”

He knew, probably better than most, Chanyeol’s world, had _been_ there when it had all begun. He had witnessed first hand the horrors it presented, the deaths and even the corruption it caused. But Baekhyun didn't believe Chanyeol was evil. 

Sehun’s expression was one of pity. “I’m not sure you grasp how bad he really is.”

That wasn’t true. Deep down, Baekhyun _knew_. But sometimes, ignorance is bliss...

**_9 Years Ago_ **

Stood with his back pressed against the wall, Baekhyun observed the funeral reception hall. The mourners in their black suits were gathered in groups, some sitting at the tables whilst others stood, all talking in hushed voices. At the far end of the room Baekhyun could see Chanyeol surrounded by middle aged men, listening to whatever they were saying politely, as he had been doing for the last three days. 

“The young master is handsome.” A woman’s hushed voice said close to Baekhyun.

Her daughter — of a similar age to Chanyeol, blushed and looked down. “Not _now_ , Mother.”

“I was merely pointing it out!”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but secretly _agree_ with the woman’s statement. Although he knew it was incredibly insensitive to so much as _think_ it right now, even wearing a deep black suit with two bands across the forearm, his bleached blonde hair left loose and down, _something_ about Chanyeol in mourning clothes was even _more_ striking. Chanyeol’s expression had been blank the whole three days of the funeral, his eyes bleak and his mouth set into a grim line, but he was still a striking presence.

In fact, Baekhyun had noticed that even among the prominent figures in the room, Chanyeol seemed to assert authority. 

Baekhyun had seen and heard countless people come to pay their condolences, most Mafia associates of Chanyeol's Father, and each and every one of them had seemed to treat Chanyeol with a level of respect that seemed... _Strange_. Not involving himself in Chanyeol’s affairs, he thought his friend’s connections to the Mafia weren’t all that great, that perhaps he was just a low errand boy working in his Father’s office. Baekhyun _never_ asked. Chanyeol never told. But if this funeral had taught Baekhyun anything, it was that his friend _wasn’t_ the low errand boy he’d always assumed. He was beginning to see now he was _more_ than that.

The extend of just _how_ much more, however, became apparent a few hours later when he was stood at the urinal and overheard the two other men in the bathrooms hushed conversation.

“He’s just _twenty_.” One said.

“Yes, _just_ twenty and look how much he’s accomplished already. It was always a given he was going to be more powerful than his father.”

“But to _kill_ him?”

“Why are you so surprised? You’ve heard what he was like, how _ruthless_ he is.”

“Right, but they’re only _rumours_ …”

“Of _course_ they are. Is any crime committed by the mob ever confirmed?”

"But his own _Father_...?"

"The old fool had it coming, we _all_ knew it. Even if his son hadn't been the one to kill him, someone _else_ would have. His time was up."

“I heard from Joon that he wiped out the _entire_ Kim family the day before he killed his Father, too… Is _that_ true?”

“It is.”

“What happened to them... It was _brutal_.”

“It’s rumoured he was behind the Lee murder, as well. We were all there when Lee _dared_ to talk down to him and the next thing we know — he's _dead_ , tongue cut out and shoved down his throat. He _choked_ on it.”

“ _Fuck_!”

“I’m telling you; it would be wise to stick by this kid. He’s going to be _powerful_.”

“I was thinking of negotiating a deal in _Busan_ , but if you think…”

Their voices trailed off as Baekhyun heard the bathroom door open and close, the two men leaving. He walked to the sinks slowly. Looking at his reflection as he cleaned his hands, Baekhyun thought about the men’s words because there was no doubt in his mind, they were about _Chanyeol_.

And he wasn't sure how he felt about that. 

“Fuck I hate this band.” Chanyeol muttered as he ripped it off his forearm and tossed it to the ground.

They were back at Chanyeol's apartment after the funeral, both exhausted from three days of receiving guests. Baekhyun picked the band up and put it away neatly, watching his friend storm to his kitchen and make himself a glass of whiskey. Sitting on Chanyeol’s sofa, Baekhyun looked around the apartment with new eyes. Before he’d assumed Chanyeol's job working in one of his dad’s loan shark businesses must have paid well, for Chanyeol to be able to afford the things he did. Nice apartment in a good area of the Seocho District, fully furnished with modern appliances – he even had his own car, bought _outright_. But after hearing what those men had said… 

“I heard something today.” He blurted out.

Chanyeol lowered his glass. “What?”

“Some men were talking in the bathroom… About _you_.”

“Really? And what did they say?”

“They said you… You _murdered_ your Father and some other people.”

From the corner of his eye, he watched Chanyeol walk from the kitchen and towards him, stopping when he was directly in front of him. Baekhyun stared at his shirt and licked his lips nervously. He'd never once brought up what Chanyeol did for work, had never even _questioned_ rumours he'd sometimes hear, but something about today, something about hearing how Chanyeol had killed the man whose Funeral he was leading — his own _Father_... It had made Baekhyun _curious_. Reaching out a hand, Chanyeol touched his chin lightly and used it to lift his head, forcing Baekhyun to meet his gaze.

“Do you believe them?” He asked softly.

Baekhyun couldn't read what Chanyeol was thinking, his expression completely closed off and almost... _Cold_. It made him shiver. 

“I… I don’t know.”

“If I did do those things, if I _did_ murder someone… Would it matter to you?” When Baekhyun didn’t answer, Chanyeol moved the hand holding Baekhyun’s chin to his shoulder, bending down so they were at eye level. “If I _did_ kill my Father with my own two hands, would you leave me?”

Baekhyun looked into the eyes of his closest – Hell, his _only_ friend, and realised… It really _didn’t_ matter. That thought scared him, though, because he knew logically it really _should_ matter. But even with the possibility that Chanyeol had killed people **—** killed his own _Father_ , Baekhyun knew it wouldn’t stop him from wanting to be with Chanyeol. He wasn’t sure there was a power strong enough in this world to make that happen. 

“No, I wouldn’t leave.”

Baekhyun hadn’t realised how tense Chanyeol had been, waiting for his answer, until his entire body seemed to deflate and relax. A small smile appeared on his friend’s handsome face and his cold expression melted away. He massaged Baekhyun's shoulders and let out a small sigh.

"You trust me, don't you?" He asked. Baekhyun nodded. “Do you _want_ me to tell you the truth?”

Again, Baekhyun considered that carefully before shaking his head. He decided then and there that if he was willing to accept Chanyeol possibly being murderer, then he was already in deep enough as it was _without_ knowing the full details. What difference would knowing them make, anyway? Either way, he wasn't going to leave, he knew that, and though it sounded messed up Baekhyun didn't feel that knowing what Chanyeol did, what he was potentially _capable_ of doing, could lessen what he felt for him. He was in too deep to leave.

Chanyeol sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulder, drawing Baekhyun close as he hugged him. Baekhyun’s sighed as he relaxed against him, closing his eyes as he heard his friend’s heartbeat under his ear, Chanyeol’s other hand running through his hair rhythmically. Holding him like _this_ … That was all Baekhyun needed. What Chanyeol did... As long as he held Baekhyun liked this, cared for him how he did, then Baekhyun could look past it, he was _sure_ of it. 

“Just stay by my side like this, Baek.” Chanyeol said into his hair. “ _That’s_ all I need.”

"That's all I need, too." Baekhyun whispered. 

**Authors Note:**  
Double update :)


	24. Chapter 24

[ **24.** **Baekhyun** ]  


Baekhyun was becoming more and more concerned for Sehun.

The last conversation with him had spiralled into one of confusion, his words slurred and garbled as he clearly ran some kind of fever before he’d finally passed out. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he was happy or more concerned he’d finally fallen asleep, because as worrying as his delirious chatter had been, Sehun’s _silence_ was making him even _more_ anxious. He’d tried calling out and even shouting, but nothing would rouse him.

So Baekhyun had begun to monitor his breathing, each rattled, wet breath a reassurance that he was, at least, still _alive_. But for _how_ long Baekhyun couldn’t say and didn’t want to think about. He’d long since decided that the next time the woman brought him in for questioning, he would attempt to bargain with her, even if it meant telling her _lies_ , just to get Sehun some treatment. No longer didn’t he really suspect the woman was connected with Chanyeol _personally_ , but her vendetta against him was just as dangerous. Clearly, she was connected with the woman in the picture and Baekhyun suspected that whatever happened to her, this JiEun woman thought _Chanyeol_ was involved.

It was because he had his eyes closed, focusing on listening, that he heard the arrival of Thug 1 and 2 before they’d even opened the door. They thundered towards them and as Baekhyun opened his eyes he noticed that they no longer held a menacing aura, instead the two of them looking extremely tense. Thug 1 grabbed Sehun’s prone body roughly and held a knife to his throat, his frantic gaze on Baekhyun.

“You grant us immunity or your friend _dies_.” He said bluntly.

Baekhyun blinked in confusion, because it was clear what Thug 1 was doing Thug 2 clearly _wasn’t_ on board with. He was shaking his head and tugging at Thug 1's other hand wrapped around Sehun’s shoulders, actually trying to pull him _away_ from him.

“ _Stop_ it—”

“Immunity!” Thug 1 demanded, cutting off his buddy. “I want _immunity_!”

“From who?” Baekhyun asked, though he was already beginning to suspect.

“From LOEY! That Bastard, he…” He stepped back from Sehun as his whole body slumped. “He’s killed my brother.”

“I _told_ you not to take that video! Why the Hell did you send him it using your cellphone?” Thug 2 demanded.

“How the Hell was I supposed to know he’d _track_ it?”

“That’s why you should’ve used a _burner_ phone! Now he knows _who_ you are, _where_ you live — _fuck_! It’s only a matter of time before he knows about _this_ place, about _me_ working here too! He’s probably on his way here as we speak!”

Thug 1 was shaking, the knife in his hand glinting as it caught the light. He ran a hand over his face, brushing away the tears.

“My wife…” he whispered.

Thug 2 sighed as he marched towards Baekhyun and began to untie his restraints, his actions notably gentler than before. Stepping back, he regarded Baekhyun gravely.

“I know what we did is inexcusable, but you have to believe it wasn’t _personal_ —” Baekhyun couldn’t help the scoff he let out as he massaged his wrists. “—but LOEY is now threatening our families, our loved ones. Surely you won’t let him kill _children_?”

Baekhyun looked over at Thug 1, who was watching him silently with red eyes. He looked pointedly at Sehun, bound, beaten, and barely breathing and felt a cold numbness overcome him.

“We _always_ intended to let you go.”

“We’d _never_ have killed you.” Thug 1 added quietly.

Baekhyun’s jaw clenched. “Does he _look_ like he’ll live?”

They both looked at Sehun and visibly winced. Immediately Thug 2 began untying him too whilst in front of Baekhyun, Thug 1 dropped to his knees, palms lowered to the ground.

“He’s going to kill our families. _Please_ tell him to spare them, show us mercy—”

Baekhyun laughed bitterly. “And where was the mercy you showed _us_?”

“We were just doing a _job_ , what we were _paid_ to do!”

“Call an ambulance for him.” He ordered Thug 2 once Sehun was free, then turned his attention to the other snivelling Thug. “And _you_ , call Chanyeol and tell him where we are.”

“…We aren’t in Seoul.”

Baekhyun had assumed as much. “Then, _where_ are we?”

“DaeJeon… _She_ said this wasn’t his territory, so he couldn’t touch us here. But my brother lives in Seoul, he’s _already_ k-killed him and my parents live—”

“Give me your cellphone.”

Thug 1 paled. “I don’t have his number anymore—”

“ _Cellphone_.” Baekhyun interrupted.

Thug 1 handed it over hesitantly. “We saved you, we’ve let you and your friend go, so _please_ —”

“I suggest you leave and get a head start, that’s the _only_ mercy I can give you now.” Baekhyun told them both coolly as he opened up the phones dial pad.

He heard them both make a fun for it and knew without a doubt their attempts would be futile. If Chanyeol _wanted_ them dead they _would_ be, no matter where they went to hide. Seoul might be Chanyeol’s _official_ territory, but his reach still stretched far and wide. But Baekhyun didn't pitty them, not after the foul words they'd called him and Sehun, the beatings they endured.

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol’s number as well as he knew his own parents, so he dialled the number in and hit call, his hand trembling as he brought the phone to his ear. His friend picked up before the first ring had completed.

“Are you prepared to tell me where he is _now_ , or do _more_ of your family have to die?” He asked the moment he answered, his voice sending shivers down Baekhyun’s spine at the coldness behind it.

“It’s me.”

“ _Baek_?” Chanyeol’s voice immediately went to one of concern. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“DaeJeon, but I’m not sure _where_ about”.

“Are you…?”

“I’m hurt.” Baekhyun admitted, because there was no use in lying about it.

Chanyeol cursed and in the background Baekhyun could hear him moving around.

“Stay on the phone, I’m tracking your location now.”

“I need an ambulance.”

“ _Fuck_!” Chanyeol exploded.

“Yeol… I think—” His sentence was cut off as the door to the warehouse suddenly burst open and men stormed inside.

Baekhyun froze as he watched them approach, none of who he recognised _personally_ though knew from experience they were Mafia from the very aura they radiated. None were _visibly_ armed, but Baekhyun knew that was all a deceit. Men like them were dangerous. Unease slid down his spine and he knew without a doubt that _somehow,_ he’d come from out of the frying pan into the whole _fire_. He slumped back in the chair as he felt his chances of being reunited with Chanyeol once again slipping from his fingertips.

“Baek?” Came Chanyeol’s frantic shout down the phone.

Baekhyun closed his eyes. “Yeol… I don’t think I can stay on the line for you. Some men are here, I don’t recognise them, but—”

This time Baekhyun’s words were cut off as the phone was snatched from his hands. He opened his eyes to find the who now held it smirking at him as he held it up almost tauntingly.

“Park Chanyeol?” The man asked, gesturing to the phone.

Baekhyun kept his mouth shut, watching nervously as the other men surrounded Sehun and seemed to be checking him over.

“Get away from him!” He cried out.

Everyone ignored him, not even acknowledging his existence. When one injected Sehun with something, however, Baekhyun tried to stand up, desperate to stop whatever was happening. The man holding the phone laughed and easily pushed him back into the chair, before bringing the phone to his ear.

“Hi _Chanyeol_ , long time no speak! I have your little pet — _Sit down_!" He snapped at Baekhyun, who'd tried to stand again. He huffed. "He's not very _obedient_ , is he? Now, where was I? Oh, yeah; I’ll send you the location of where you can get your unruly _animal_ from once you do something for _me_.”

He hung up and promptly tossed the phone at his feet, stomping on it until the device fell to pieces. Baekhyun felt a swell of anger at seeing that, his one lifeline — his _one_ chance of reconnecting with Chanyeol again gone. The earlier helplessness returned almost ten-fold.

“Who the Hell are _you_?” He demanded.

The man leaned down towards Baekhyun. "Where are your manners, _Byun Baekhyun_? I'm the one who’s just _saved_ you."

"I don't need _nor_ want your help."

"Ah, well it's too late for that. You don't get to eat your steak and not pay."

Baekhyun frowned at his weird words as the man regarded him with that insufferable smirk on his handsome face. They were engaged in this stare-off battle of wills when his men then surrounded Baekhyun, catching him off guard. He fought against them, but in his weakened state was quickly subdued, his arms and legs held still as another man forced a needle into the crook of his elbow. Coldness quickly flooded his veins and Baekhyun cried out in frustration.

“Get _off_ me!” He seethed, thrashing in their hold.

“Bedtime.” The man said as Baekhyun felt his body become boneless.

He struggled to stay awake against the drugs, but his eyes drooped and closed against his will, quickly pulling him to darkness. What felt like seconds later, though realistically had to be a _lot_ longer, Baekhyun’s eyes opened again and he blinked back into awareness. His eyes felt dry and gritty, taking him longer than usual to clear the sleepy fog so he could see. There was a cold sensation in his right hand and a quick glance over to it confirmed he was hooked up to an IV, the needle secured over the back of his hand with two strips of tape.

“Pleasant dreams?” A familiar voice asked.

Baekhyun looked to his other side to the man from the warehouse standing by his bed, that smirk still on his face as he watched Baekhyun struggle to sit up in the bed he was in, the drugs in his system making him feel sluggish.

“You’ve been unconscious for almost four days.” The man continued as though they were discussing the weather. “Your injuries needed time to heal, so we thought it best to keep you sedated.”

Baekhyun slowly took stock of his body, noting the aches and pains in his muscles but knew from that quick inspection it was nothing severe. Feeling out with his tongue he even felt that his split lip was almost healed.

“You were badly bruised, but luckily no broken bones which _isn’t_ what I can say for your companion.”

Baekhyun sat up straighter. “Where is he?”

He himself was in a small room very sparsely decorated; just his single bed, the stand holding the IV bag and a single chair furnishing it. The curtains were also drawn, casting the room in a muted white light. The fact that this room was _comfortable_ didn’t make it any less a prison than the one he’d just left, however. If anything, he was more afraid in _this_ room than he’d been in the warehouse.

“ _Resting_. His injuries were more severe than yours, as you know.”

Baekhyun’s eyes scanned over the man, taking in his business suit and styled hair. Definitely _Mafia_ , he knew, but from _which_ he wasn’t sure. The higher-ranking ones all tended to wear suits, their armour against the world along with their disguise, too. Wolves in sheep’s clothing, Baekhyun often thought. There were no businessmen like _them_ , none that could demand so much authority like they could.

This man was young, perhaps in his mid-twenties with an angular shaped face boasting a prominent chin and striking jawline, his face _so_ symmetrical that it gave him an almost Anime character-like appearance. His light brown hair was swept back revealing a wide forehead and dark, striking eyes with a straight regal nose and lips that were fuller on the top then they were on the bottom, curved into an almost Cupid’s bow.

 _Handsome_ , was certainly the way to describe this man, but his laid-back attitude did nothing to hide the fact that he was also _dangerous_.

“Who are you?” Baekhyun asked.

“They call me _V_.”

Baekhyun tried to keep the shock off his face as he recognised the name. V — AKA _Kim TaeHyung_ only to those he was familiar with, which Baekhyun certainly was _not_ — was the Busan Mafia’s right-hand man, the crazy Bastard whose psycho reputation was said to rival Jongin’s. Baekhyun had heard rumours about him, of his almost bipolar personality and his ruthless way of handling things, _none_ of which made Baekhyun feel any less certain he was in danger.

“What do you want with me?”

V chuckled. “Me personally? _Nothing_. It’s more like what _you_ can do for _me_.”

Baekhyun licked his dry lips. “And what’s that?”

“You’re going to be used for a trade with your _owner_.”

Baekhyun almost felt like laughing at this, because he couldn’t imagine Chanyeol offering _anything_ to his rival. There was a saying among the men of the Mafia, which was “HONOUR BEFORE ALL.” The Mafia _always_ came first and everything else second, regardless of what it was. Chanyeol was _no_ different. He may care for Baekhyun, but he wouldn't risk trading anything valuable to get him back. It just wouldn't be done.

“What _kind_ of trade?”

“Ah, you’ll soon find out.”

When he reached across his body, Baekhyun instinctively stiffened, watching as that hand grabbed at his IV line and gave it a quick tug. The needle was pulled from his vein and Baekhyun winced at the flash of pain, his hand quickly going to the small hole to stop the quick trickle of blood the violent action had caused. V circled the bed and shoved the IV rack to the side, gesturing for Baekhyun to stand. Seeing little option than to obey, Baekhyun slid out of the bed, forced to take a moment to use it to steady himself as he stumbled. His legs felt weak, trembling under his own weight and he knew it was from a mixture of the drugs they’d pumped him with and from simple misuse of his muscles.

V waited patiently by the door, watching him closely as he found his footing. Following him shakily, Baekhyun looked around his surroundings and wasn’t entirely surprised to find he was in some kind of office building, the windows beyond the door revealing they were high up. He was lead through a hallway towards a set of double doors which V threw open with an overly dramatic flair, letting them fly open and bounce against the wall. The bang echoed, but Baekhyun wasn’t concentrating on that or even the contents of the room beyond.

Instead, his entire body seemed to lock in on _who_ was in the room.

Chanyeol was sat on a sofa, his legs crossed as he watched Baekhyun enter the room calmly. He looked good, Baekhyun thought as he drank in the sight of him eagerly. _Really_ good in fact. His hair had been re-dyed it seemed, this one a darker shade of brown that it almost appeared black, making his pale skin even more unblemished and radiant than usual. Other than his eyes running over Baekhyun, seeming to hone in on _every_ bruise and cut, his expression gave little away to his thoughts though, his poker face firmly in place. The sight of it set Baekhyun’s nerves on edge further because this wasn't the reunion he had envisaged.

“See _LOEY_ , your little pet is well. We even cleaned him up and treated his injuries as a _good will_ gesture.” V announced.

Baekhyun gave V a quick scowl, unamused by his obvious taunting. Chanyeol nodded slowly and gestured with his hand to someone at his side, and only then did Baekhyun realise who _else_ was in the room. Standing behind Chanyeol was Jongin, who’s gazed was fixed on V like a panther stalking its prey. But next to Chanyeol on the sofa was—

“ _Tae_!” Baekhyun gasped, taking a stumbling step towards her which was immediately cut off when V grabbed his arm, holding him in place. He barely noticed, too focused on looking between Taeyeon and Chanyeol incredulously. "Why are _you_ here?"

Baekhyun was so distracted, in fact, that he missed the dark warning look Chanyeol gave V, who didn't so much as _flinch_ under it. If anything, it seemed to excite him _more_. His smirk turned into a full-blown grin.

“The deal has been made, then. Shall we swap _goods_?” V asked.

When Chanyeol nodded again, Taeyeon stood up and walked towards Baekhyun with a calm that seemed so out of place given the situation she was in. Baekhyun tried to tug himself free, but V held on a few seconds longer, seeming to enjoy how it caused the _only_ visible crack in Chanyeol's expression. When he was finally released, Baekhyun rushed to meet Taeyeon halfway, pulling her into a hug.

“Tae, you shouldn't _be_ here” He looked over her shoulder to Chanyeol. “What’s going on? _Why_ did you bring her with you?”

“He's trading _her_ for _you_.” V answered for him.

“What? _No_!”

“The deals already been made. _Tell him_ , LOEY.” V urged. "Tell your _pet_ how you've traded her for him."

Baekhyun spun back to face Chanyeol, scanning his friend’s expression hopefully. This _had_ to be a trick, a double cross, because there was _no_ way Chanyeol would—

“Let Taeyeon go.” Was all his friend said.

Baekhyun felt as though his stomach had been hollowed out. Chanyeol’s poker face didn’t waver, eyes hardened, jaw set, voice so monotone it could rival a schoolteacher. His _business_ face. Baekhyun stared at him incredulously before shaking his head furiously, tugging Taeyeon behind him as he backed away from them all.

“ _Tell me_ this isn’t true!” He pleaded, but Chanyeol didn’t answer. “No... _Why_ …?”

A hand rested on his shoulder gently and Baekhyun turned to find Taeyeon smiling at him sadly.

“It’s okay Baek.” She assured him quietly.

But it _wasn’t_ okay at all. How could he _possibly_ accept the fact that his best friend was trading him for his other closest friend? In Baekhyun’s eyes, _nothing_ could make that okay. He turned back to Chanyeol desperately.

“There _has_ to be another way Yeol, something _else_ you can offer—”

“There’s is _nothing_.” Chanyeol interrupted.

“Then I _won’t_ go! I’ll stay.” Baekhyun pushed Taeyeon back towards Chanyeol and rushed back to V’s side.

“Ah look how _attached_ your pet is to me, LOEY. It almost makes me _want_ to keep him…” V mocked, raising a hand to stroke it over Baekhyun's hair like he was indeed an animal.

“Get over here.” Chanyeol snapped at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun stood his ground. “No, I _won’t_ let you _sell_ her!”

“This is _not_ negotiable.”

“Like Hell it isn’t!”

“Enough!” Taeyeon cut in, moving to stand in front of Baekhyun. “Can you let us talk, please? Just _five_ minutes.”

V and Chanyeol exchanged looks before V shrugged nonchalantly, seeming genuinely amused by the whole situation. They left the room together, closing the double doors behind them and leaving Taeyeon and Baekhyun alone. He immediately grabbed her hand.

“I’ll get you out of this Tae.” He promised quickly. "I _won't_ let him take you, I'll find a way to get you out of this, to get you somewhere _safe_ —"

“No, Baek. This _will_ happen whether you want it to or not, I’ve already agreed.”

“ _Why_?”

She gave his hand a squeeze. “I think it’s time I told you _my_ story now…”


End file.
